Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
Bodi
Nerdy.
That could be a red flag, but I promised myself—and my therapist—I would make small changes.
Like not just going for one-night stands.
I don’t have to get serious with anyone but I need to give someone a chance.
Maybe lots of someones. That’s why I chose the Blind Love dating app.
My therapist, Tiff, is the one who recommended it.
Her husband plays in the NHL too, and she came highly recommended, so I trust her advice.
brODERICK: Nerdy how?
JEANNIE: I like books. A lot. I’m always reading. Writing. Journaling. Studying. I’m probably too introverted for my own good.
brODERICK: Introverted is okay as long as you’re willing to get out sometimes too. Let your hair down once in a while, so to speak.
JEANNIE: That’s my plan. I’m trying to figure out who I am as an adult. I’m graduating in nine months, thinking about the future. Trying new things.
That sounds familiar.
brODERICK: Same.
JEANNIE: Did you find it intimidating? Getting out in the real world after college or whatever?
brODERICK: So, I guess that’s something we can talk about.
I never went to college because when I was eighteen, my parents and younger sister were in a fatal car accident.
We lost our parents, and my sister was seriously injured.
I had to forget about college and get a job right away so she wouldn’t be put in foster care.
There was no one else to take care of her.
JEANNIE: Oh no. I’m so sorry. That had to be really hard.
brODERICK: It was. In some ways, it still is.
My sister and I had a huge argument three months ago and she told me the only way we could work things out was if I promised to go to therapy this summer.
Turns out, I channeled my grief into overprotectiveness, to the point my sister wouldn’t talk to me.
I mean, she’s an adult, twenty-three—I had no business forbidding her from dating one of my friends.
It was kind of a dick move, and I realize it now.
JEANNIE: That’s awesome that you’re taking responsibility for your actions, though. Is she still dating your friend?
brODERICK: Yup. They’re living together and probably going to get engaged soon. I think he’s too old for her, but my opinion doesn’t count. The only thing that matters is that she’s happy, and she is.
JEANNIE: And you’re getting help you didn’t know you needed. How does it feel?
brODERICK: To be honest, sometimes it feels shitty. Like, how did I not see how overprotective I was? She’s a grown woman, going to school and working full-time. I had no business giving her shit.
JEANNIE: How old is her boyfriend?
brODERICK: Thirty-five. But if I’m honest, he’s good to her. And a little overprotective, which makes me feel better.
JEANNIE: Well, after what happened to your parents, it makes sense that you would want to protect your only living relative.
Wow, she doesn’t even know me and recognized that before I did.
brODERICK: Thank you for saying that, but I’m definitely rebuilding my relationship, and the trust between my sister and me.
JEANNIE: I lost my mom when I was fourteen, so I get it. I understand the grief, the pain, the longing. I bet you still miss them.
brODERICK: Oh, yeah.
JEANNIE: I still have my dad, but he’s remarried and she’s an absolute witch. Think about the story of Cinderella with the wicked stepmother and sisters—times ten. Except my dad is the other asshole and my little sister is sweet.
brODERICK: And you still live at home?
JEANNIE: For now—but I’m saving up to get my own place.
brODERICK: Sounds like a solid plan.
JEANNIE: I’m trying to get organized.
brODERICK: If you need help when the time comes, let me know.
JEANNIE: You’re sweet. I may very well take you up on that.
brODERICK: I hope you do. Anyway, I have to get going. But do you want to talk again?
JEANNIE: I would. How about you?
brODERICK: Absolutely. How about tomorrow around the same time?
JEANNIE: Works for me. Talk to you then.
brODERICK: Bye for now.
After my conversation with Jeannie, I’m not sure whether or not I should call Jayne.
Neither one of them is my usual type, both a little more demure than I’m used to.
Well, I can’t say that for sure about Jeannie, but she said she was nerdy so I have to think long and hard about what I’m looking for in a woman.
I’m not rushing to get serious with anyone but I definitely want to date—with more than just sex in mind.
I’ve been in Georgia for a couple of weeks, and I’ve already met two interesting women.
I don’t know what Jeannie looks like, so that’s concerning because looks are still important.
I don’t know that I could fall for someone I’m not even a little bit attracted to.
That’s the only part of this that worries me.
Jeannie is really easy to talk to, so I’m looking forward to getting to know her better.
Jayne, on the other hand, is kind of sassy and she’s cute.
Not traditionally beautiful, but she has a curvy body and an ample chest, both things I really like.
I’ve never been a big fan of women with glasses but somehow it works on her.
Her face is pretty, her hair a little wild, and the package as a whole is attractive. It’s just the rest that’s a question.
I guess I need to see her again.
I’m thinking about asking her to lunch or breakfast. Something casual and relatively quick, in case we don’t click as well as I thought we did.
Despite being anxious to try new things, I also need to be cautious.
Everything usually changes once they find out I’m a pro athlete, so I need to avoid that until we know each other better.
It’ll be relatively easy with Jeannie, but Jayne will undoubtedly ask what I do for a living by the end of the first date.
Which is why I’m hesitating.
But I also don’t want to ghost her.
She’s sweet. Nice to look at. A little sassy.
My plan was to go slow with dating, but now two interesting women have fallen into my lap.
“One day, one conversation, one date at a time,” West says when I tell him about it the next morning as he whips up protein pancakes. “You don’t have to choose right away. As long as you’re honest about not being exclusive, take your time. Have you ever been in a serious relationship as an adult?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I had a girlfriend in high school but that ended when my parents died and I took over raising Billie. After that, it was all about sex and partying when I had free time.”
“Okay, so you’ve sowed plenty of oats.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“And you think you’re ready for serious?”
“I think I’m ready to change past behaviors because the results weren’t all that great. And dating for more than just sex feels like a responsible place to start. Especially since we’re all going to be in the spotlight now because of the new team.”
“Right.” He nods, pouring batter onto a griddle.
“I’m just a little nervous about Jeannie, the one from Blind Love. I know this is going to make me sound like a jerk, but what if she’s just generally unattractive?”
“You’re going to have to think about that because it’s a possibility. And while we all would like to think we’re better than that, I don’t think it’s realistic. There has to be a physical connection in addition to personality and whatnot.”
“Am I jumping the gun?”
He chuckles. “A little. Have a few more conversations with her, then worry about what she looks like. She might be…I don’t know, a Jehovah Witness or something else with values that don’t align with yours.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you don’t share those beliefs, it’s going to be a problem going forward. ”
That’s something I hadn’t considered.
“I guess we need to get those questions out of the way early on,” I say. “Thanks for the reminder.”
“Any time. Now let’s eat.”
Part of me feels like I’m jumping into dating headfirst, which is impulsive behavior. The kind of behavior that could blow up in my face. But what’s the alternative? I don’t want to have perpetual one-night stands but going indefinitely without sex isn’t ideal either.
I’m going to have to think about that.