Chapter 28
Roxanne
I’m not a nervous person, per se.
I’m usually quite composed when facing stressful circumstances.
So, can someone please explain to me why coming to watch a simple hockey game fills me with so much dread that my palms won’t stop sweating?
As I step into the VIP room where all the major big wigs of the Boston Guardians come to attend games, I can’t help but feel like I’m a fish out of water.
No. That’s not the real reason for my anxiety.
I’m afraid that just by being here, I’m putting my whole livelihood in danger.
That somehow, someway, someone will look at my face and read all the secrets that I’ve been trying to keep hidden—the main one being my true feelings for the player wearing the number one on his jersey.
But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t show up for Caleb’s first game back on the Guardians.
He worked so hard to earn his place on the team. So very hard.
I needed him to know that I’d be here, cheering him on every step of the way.
And if, by chance, that means someone will eventually connect the dots that our relationship is far more personal than professional, then so be it.
In fact, if I didn’t think Trent would retaliate and kick Caleb off the team again, I would have marched into his office and told him myself.
That’s the only reason why I haven’t come clean to Trent yet.
But once the Stanley Cup is won, I’ll put on my big girl pants and confess what’s been happening under his nose all along. Trent won’t like that I deceived him, but hopefully, he’ll show me mercy and only fire me.
“Roxanne! Over here!” Piper waves me over, my apprehension easing somewhat when I see a familiar face within the crowd.
But hers isn’t the only one I recognize.
Nate’s wife, Charlotte, is far too memorable to forget. Looking like she just stepped out of a pin-up magazine, Charlotte is all smiles and happy to see me here.
However, it’s the fidgeting redhead standing behind Charlotte that grabs my attention. She looks like how I feel—nervous to the very core.
“Hi, Roxanne!” Piper says, offering me a surprising hug. “I’m so glad to see you here. Our boys need all the support they can get today.” she smiles. “You know Charlotte, right?”
“Yes, we’ve met. How are you?” I smile at the raven-haired beauty.
“Oh, as well as can be expected before any big game,” she jokes nervously. “Ask me again when the game ends.”
“I’m sure I’ll be too much of a nervous wreck myself to even remember to ask,” I laugh before placing my attention on the other woman in the trio.
“Hi. I’m Roxanne. Pleased to meet you.”
“Hi, I’m Becca,” the red-haired girl greets.
“Don’t you mean Rebekah,” Piper teases, elbowing Charlotte.
“My friends call me Becca.” Her cheeks redden. “Only my husband calls me Rebekah.”
“Oh, is he also on the team?”
“Actually, he owns the team,” Piper explains before Becca has a chance to.
Again, the poor girl’s cheeks turn a deeper shade of red.
“You mean—” I start, baffled.
“The one and only. Lawrence Preston III,” Lottie retorts, looking unhappy about her friend being married to Lawrence.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that Mr. Preston got engaged, much less got married.”
“Not many people do, isn’t that right, Rebekah ?” Piper interjects, wiggling her brows at her friend.
“I… um… if you don’t mind, I’m just going to grab something to drink,” Becca excuses herself, uncomfortable with the topic of her recent nuptials to the Boston Guardians’ owner.
“I’ll come with you,” Charlotte says, throwing Piper a menacing glower, to which Piper just shrugs off.
I watch the two women walk over to the table filled with food and refreshments at the end of the room while I remain rooted to my spot next to Piper.
“I feel like I’m missing something,” I say.
“Trust me, you’re not the only one,” Piper states, matter of fact, her gaze fixed on her two friends. “Becca used to be Lottie’s assistant at Love Moore agency. That was until Laurie supposedly swept her off her feet and married her a few weeks ago. I only found out myself not too long ago.”
I take that morsel of information and chew on it for a while. The Preston family is one of the oldest families in all of Boston. Their high prestige is only followed by their notoriety. I’m surprised that the media hasn’t gotten a hold of this information, especially after they made such a big deal about his return stateside.
“Lottie is still a bit sore about Becca marrying one of her clients unexpectedly. She adores Becca and feels that maybe Lauire might have coerced her into this marriage under false pretenses. I have to admit, I even think he married Becca for all the wrong reasons.”
“Wrong reasons?” I parrot.
“Money,” Piper says with a frown. “And a whole lot of it.”
I watch as Lottie says something consoling to Becca, placing a smile back on her face before they return to us.
“I didn’t know you were a hockey fan,” Piper says, moving away from the bit of gossip we were discussing.
“I’m just here for moral support.”
“And who are you supporting?” Piper asks with that same insinuating tone she used on Becca a few minutes ago. “Anyone special in mind?”
“I’m just here to support the team in general, of course,” I deflect the loaded question.
“Right. The team.” Piper winks.
Thankfully, when the music starts announcing the players are about to skate onto the rink, her attention is pulled off me and onto the players.
My heart jumps in my chest when I see Caleb skate towards the goalpost, lifting his head up in an effort to make eye contact with me. I know it’s impossible for him to see me up here, but I could swear I saw his sly grin making an appearance on his lips.
My heart is still fluttering away in my chest when I feel Piper lean in and whisper, “Before I forget, thank you for coming today. It means a lot to him that you’re here.”
“I… um… don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie.
“Yes, you do.” She grins, her crystal-blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “Don’t worry. I can keep a secret. Your man down there? Not so much.”
“What do you mean by that?” I ask nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up.
But before she’s able to answer me, the loud horn announces the start of the game, pulling her focus off me and onto the rink.
And sure enough, after a while, all my focus is pulled towards it, too.
I try to keep my expression as blank as possible. Still, it’s a challenging feat to accomplish when my heart is pounding in my chest as I watch Caleb standing strong in front of the net as the opposing team charges towards him.
The crowd roars as he dives to block a shot, his body stretching out in a perfect arc. My hands clasp together, almost in prayer, as I hold my breath, willing the puck to stay out of the net. When the puck ricochets off his pads and flies away from the goal, I let out a loud cheer, gaining another amused look from Piper. But I don’t care. I am bursting with too much pride to not show it.
And with each successful save he makes, the more I’m unable to contain my excitement.
I start jumping up and down, cheering at the top of my lungs, feeling exhilarated when Piper, Charlotte, and Becca start cheering with me.
As the game progresses, Caleb continues to make incredible saves, his focus unwavering and his reflexes sharp. Each time the puck comes towards him, my heart skips a beat, but each time he stops it, the strong feelings I have for him only seem to deepen.
When the final buzzer sounds, ending the game and announcing the Guardians as the victors, the whole crowd erupts in loud cheers.
I’ve never been a sports nut. But watching Caleb in his element, dominating the ice like he does, might make me a convert.
I’ve attended every match like a true hockey fan for the last eight weeks, wearing the number one white and green jersey. Caleb has been instrumental to the Guardians’ victories left and right. And now that we’ve come to the last match, I feel like I’m more nervous than he is.
“How are you so calm right now? Aren’t you the least bit nervous about tomorrow?” I ask, drawing circles on his bare chest with my finger.
“Not really,” he responds while running his fingers through my hair.
“You’re that confident that you will win?”
“No. I’m not confident at all. But I know the guys and I will do our very best tomorrow. That’s all I can hope for.”
I lift my head off his chest and look him in the eye.
“I’m surprised that you’re so calm about it,” I whisper in awe.
“It’s just a game, love. Nothing more,” he confides, his green eyes soft and inviting.
“But you love it.”
“You’re right. I do.”
“Then how can you be so nonchalant about it?” I ask, genuinely baffled by his calm demeanor.
“Do you want an honest answer?”
I nod.
“Okay. It took me a while, but I think I finally understand what Jack was always trying to tell me. Yes, I love playing for the Guardians, but hockey can’t be my only source of happiness. Life shouldn’t be about winning trophies. Life needs real moments. Sooner or later, the applause and cheers from the fans will fade, and if you don’t have something in your life that lifts you up in the same way, then you’re as good as screwed. A man needs meaning in his life. Purpose. Something tangible and real. Jack found his purpose with Erin and his girls. And that’s all he wanted for me, too. To find that thing that would bring permanent joy and light to my life.”
“And one day, you’ll find it too,” I say with conviction.
“That’s the thing, love. I already have. I found you,” he says, looking deep into my eyes. “I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention or not, but I love you, Roxie. Everything else is just noise. You’re the only thing that matters. Loving you is what I was meant to do.”
I open my mouth to say something in response, but he just shakes his head to silence me.
“It’s okay, Roxie. I know you can’t say it yet. Maybe you never will. I’ve made my peace with that. If half of your heart is all I’m entitled to, it’s enough. It’s… fucking everything.”
Sorrow and sadness wash over me at his words.
Here he is—this wonderful man—willing to give his heart to someone who he knew from the start could never fully give hers to him.
“Caleb—”
“Shh, love. No more talking tonight. How about we go to sleep, love? Tomorrow is a big day, and I want to start it with my head between your thighs,” he warns lightheartedly. “So get some rest, love. You’re going to need it more than me in the morning.” He laughs, placing a sweet, tender kiss on my lips.
But I don’t sleep that night.
Instead, I leave my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat call out my name in the dark.
The next day, everything feels like it’s happening in slow motion.
Going to the arena.
Meeting our friends at the VIP area.
And watching the Guardians dominate on the ice.
The other team never stood a chance.
As everyone cheers with utter elation, having finally won the Stanley Cup after a decade, Caleb lifts the trophy over his head with tears streaming down his eyes.
My own tears freefall as I watch the man I’m in love with make a passionate speech about his brother and how Jack would be so happy that his team and teammates finally got the recognition they so richly deserved.
Caleb has suffered through so much. So much.
I will not let him suffer anymore.
It’s time I closed the door on my past and took the first step into the future—one that I fully intend to walk through with Caleb at my side.