Chapter 29
Caleb
As I walk through the halls of Mass General, everyone is cheering and congratulating me on a job well done for finally bringing the Stanley Cup home.
After a decade of losing streaks and almost wins, I can understand everyone’s excitement.
I put on a genuine smile, accepting their applause and pats on the back on my way to Jack’s room. But as soon as I walk inside, my smile drops off my face.
I would trade a million Stanley Cup trophies just for one more minute with my brother.
“Hey, Jack,” I try to put on a brave smile as I stare at his face. “How are you doing, big brother?”
Of course, he doesn’t respond, but the bit of color that is back on his cheeks comforts me somewhat.
“I have something for you,” I announce, pulling out the velvet box that has been weighing me down since it was given to me.
I open the box and stare at the Boston Guardians logo displayed on the top, surrounded by diamonds and other flashy gemstones. Usually, we only get our rings a little before the new season starts, but the powers that be in the NHL decided that Jack should have his earlier.
“We won, brother,” I say softly as I take his hand and place the ring on his finger. “We fucking won. And it was all because of you. You made us believe that we could do it. And we did. For you, Jack. We won for you, brother.”
Hot tears sting my eyes as I grab his hand, wishing he would wake up just so he could enjoy this moment with me.
Winning the cup without him was too bittersweet for words.
It was like a dream come true, yet I couldn’t fully enjoy it.
Not when he wasn’t there to experience it all with me.
“I hope you don’t intend to leave that ring on your brother’s finger. Someone might take it to make a fast buck,” I hear my mother say behind me.
Before I turn around, I wipe my tears with my sleeve so she doesn’t see me crying.
“Hi, Ma,” I say before standing up from my chair.
She smiles in greeting, her face surprisingly lacking the look of disdain that I’ve become accustomed to lately.
She walks over to me and sits down on the chair, grabbing Jack’s hand in hers.
“I… um… I’ll leave you alone. I’ll come back later,” I say, already halfway to the door.
“I can still remember the first time your father took you both to your first hockey game,” she says, halting my step. “You and Jack were so excited that you didn’t sleep a wink the night before,” she reminisces fondly. “And after the game, to your father’s dismay, you told everyone that one day you and Jack would win a Stanley Cup ring of your own. The Donovan brothers would be a household name and that all of Boston would know who you were because you would be the best hockey players this city had ever seen.”
“I… remember,” I stammer, shoving my hands into my pockets.
“I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Just a young boy’s pipe dream. But Jack took your words to heart. And after that day, he did everything in his power to make your dreams come true. And now… you’ve made his.”
I swallow the lump in my throat as she turns her head over to me, tears welling up in her eyes.
“He would be so proud of you, Caleb. So very proud of what you’ve accomplished,” she says with a sob. “And it pains me to say it, but he’d be so ashamed of me. So very ashamed of how I’ve treated you these past few months.”
“Don’t say that, Ma,” I croak, taking a step forward and grabbing one of her shoulders.
“Why not? It’s true.” She sobs. “I was so engulfed in my own grief that I blamed you for all of it. You… my baby boy. What kind of mother does that? Jack will never forgive me. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself.”
“It’s okay, Ma,” I reply, going to my haunches to be at her eye level. “You were hurting. I can understand that. I was hurting, too.”
She cups my face, stares into my eyes, and says, “Don’t make excuses for me, Caleb. I know how terrible I’ve been lately. You didn’t deserve it. I should have been on my knees, thanking God Almighty for being merciful enough to have spared the life of one son. Instead, I only focused on the misery of possibly losing the other. I’m so sorry, Caleb. So very, very sorry.”
Tears fall rapidly down our cheeks as I hug her, her body trembling with sorrow and grief.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s okay, Ma.”
“No, it’s not.” She shakes her head. “But you’ve always had a kind heart—just like your brother.” She cries.
I let her cry while my own troubled heart lightens at her words.
“I promise I’ll make up for all of it, Caleb. I promise.”
“There’s nothing to make up for. I’m just happy that you don’t hate me anymore.”
“Hate?” She pulls back in astonishment. “I could never hate you, Caleb. Never. Yes, I wanted to blame someone for what happened to Jack, but I could never hate you. You boys are my heart. My whole heart, Caleb. I love you dearly. I always will.”
“I love you too, Ma.” I sob, my tears freefalling now as I let her hug me.
We stay like that for what feels like forever, purging our grief, sorrow, and suffering, one tear at a time.
When we break from our hug, I look at my brother’s face and almost imagine a soft smile cresting his lips.
Today, I gave him a ring.
And in turn, he gave me back our mother.
Even in his slumber, he’s still watching over me.
And whether he wakes up or not, I doubt that will ever change.
After my heartfelt talk with my mother at the hospital, she offers to accompany me to Erin’s since she had already made plans with her to take the girls to the park in the afternoon.
I wasn’t looking forward to this part of my busy day, but now that Mom and I are on good terms again, I’m hopeful that Erin might forgive me, too.
These past couple of months with me not seeing her or the girls has been torture.
No matter how many times I call or text Erin, she refuses to talk to me. The only thing she allows is facetiming with Cara and Fiona at night before they go to bed. That’s it. That’s all I get. And even then, I know she’s cautiously listening, ensuring I don’t say anything that would upset the girls.
As if I would ever willingly do that to my nieces.
As Mom and I take the elevator to Jack’s penthouse apartment, I quickly text Roxie to tell her that I will be late getting home, frowning when she only replies with a quick okay paired with a heart emoji.
I’m unable to dwell on Roxie’s short text for too long as Erin opens the front door at that very moment, her sunny disposition instantly fading when she sees me standing next to my mom.
“Hello, sweetheart,” my mother greets, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “I hope you don’t mind that I invited Caleb to tag along with us today.”
“That all depends,” Erin says, crossing her arms over her large belly. “Are you going to be on your best behavior?”
“Aren’t I always?” I wiggle my brows at her.
“Hmm,” she hums suspiciously, eyeing me up and down.
“I’ll leave you two to talk things out,” my mom interjects. “Are the girls in their room?”
“Yes. I was just getting them dressed,” Erin explains, her scrutinizing gaze still on me.
“Then I’ll help them along while you two hash things out.” Mom throws me a tender smile before rushing inside to check on the girls.
“Can I come in, too?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I’m still trying to decide.” Erin taps her foot.
“Come on, E. Just let me in already.”
“Fine. Come on in. The girls will be happy to see their uncle anyway.”
“Not as happy as I’ll be to see them. I’ve been missing them like crazy.” I smile, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “I missed their mom, too.”
Her eyes soften at that.
“Yeah, well, I might have missed you a little bit as well.”
“Just a little bit?” I pretend to pout.
She rolls her eyes and laughs.
“I forgot how relentless you are. Don’t be all charming and sweet when I’m still mad at you.”
“I know, E. And that’s partially the reason why I wanted to see you today. I owe you an apology.”
Her brows hike up in surprise.
“You’re going to apologize? To me? You? Caleb Donovan is going to apologize for something he’s done? Did hell freeze over or something?”
“Yes, something like that,” I smirk before stepping inside.
I take a look around and see that everything is exactly as it was before, suddenly being reminded of how my best memories have happened here.
With Jack’s family.
With my family.
Maybe one day, Roxie and I will build a home like this one—a place where we can create memories together.
Not while she still has a room dedicated to her late husband, you’re not.
“Hey, are you okay?” Erin asks when my mood turns into melancholy.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie. “Before I forget, here. This is yours,” I say before giving her the velvet box that contains Jack’s Stanley Cup ring.
Her eyes sparkle with unshed tears when she looks inside.
“I already showed it to Jack,” I explain.
“You did? I’m sure he loved it.” She smiles, swiping a stray tear away from her cheek. “Thank you for bringing me this. And… thank you for the speech you gave after the win. I… it… really touched me.”
“You watched the game?” I ask, surprised.
“I’d never miss it. Just because I’m angry at you doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. You’re the brother I never had. You’re my family.”
“Shit, E. You’re going to make me cry. And Mom already made me cry like a little bitch before we got here.”
“I’m happy that you two have made amends. It wasn’t right of her to put the blame on you. You did nothing wrong.”
“Not true,” I reply, looking her in the eye. “I did the one thing I never dreamed I’d ever do—losing faith in my brother. You never stopped believing in him. And for that, I owe you an apology. You’re right. Jack is a fighter. And if there is any chance that he can return to you and the girls, then I know he’ll take it.”
“Now you’re the one who is going to make me cry,” she half-laughs, half-sobs.
I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head.
“Sorry I lost my way for a second. But I’m back now. Okay?”
She pulls back and looks at me with endearment in her eyes.
“You might be back, but you’re different somehow. Something’s changed. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Love will do that to a man.”
“Hold up! You’re in love? With who? Do I know her? When did this happen?” she starts darting out questions left and right.
“Ah, E. We’ve got so much to talk about.” I grin. “But first things first, I need to see my girls.”
After a long afternoon of pampering my nieces and making up for lost time with Erin and my mother, I’m ready to go home and get my Roxie fix.
But just as I park my car at her doorstep, my hackles rise when I see four strange men walking out of her house and into a large white van parked across her street.
The fuck?!
I use my key and rush inside, panic setting in as I call out her name, “Roxie! Where are you?!”
“I’m upstairs!” she yells back, easing the tension on my shoulders when I hear her sounding like her usual self.
Still, I’ll feel better when I see her for myself. The idea of four strange men just walking out of her house does not sit well with me.
I take the stairs two at a time , my frown deepening when I don’t find her.
“Are we playing hide and seek or something? Where are you, love?”
“I’m in the bedroom!” She giggles.
“I’m staring at our bedroom, and you’re not here.” I scowl, not liking this game one bit.
“I’m in the main bedroom, Caleb. Hurry! I want to show you something.”
My heart jackhammers away as I walk down the corridor to the one room that has always been off-limits. My heart is still rattling in its cage when I push the door wide open, only to reveal my woman wearing a dainty little tank top and paint-splattered coveralls, holding a paintbrush in her hands,
“What? What is this?” I ask, scanning the now empty room. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like? I’m going to paint the room, silly,” she explains with another giggle.
“I can see that,” I say, trying to push down the lump in my throat. “I… um… saw some men leave here just now.”
“Oh, you mean that movers? Yeah, I hired them to clear the room and give everything to a shelter.”
I want to tell her that the thought of her alone with four strangers is doing my head in, but unfortunately, right now, all I can concentrate on is that she’s emptied out this room—Gregg’s room.
“You gave everything away?” I ask, my voice sounding strange to my ears.
“I did.” She nods happily.
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
When I don’t reply, she drops the brush and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Because life is for the living. And you, Caleb Donovan, have breathed life back into me. I spent so many years in the dark, content in living in the shadows, until you brought color back into my world, and now… I can’t see myself living another day in a grayish existence. It’s time that I moved on from the past and started to live for my future. My future with you.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, craving to hear the words that I yearn for.
“I’m saying that I’m madly in love with you, and it’s time I showed you just how much.”
My heart doubles in size as she looks up at me with nothing but love in her eyes.
“You love me?”
“With all my heart,” she coos with a broad smile.
“You love me?” I ask again, picking her up by the waist, her legs instantly wrapping themselves around my waist.
“Yes!” she shouts in glee.
“You love me. You love me. You love me!” I start to shout, twirling her around.
“Put me down.” she giggles. “You’re going to get paint all over you.”
“Fuck the paint,” I growl. “You really love me?”
“I do. And I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to say it. If you want the truth, I think I fell in love with you that first day we met. I never told you this before, but that day at the hospital, when you bumped into me, I saw you later in the parking lot. That day, without you knowing it, your soul spoke to mine. I tried to resist its pull, but falling for you was inevitable. I couldn’t stop myself from loving you, even if I tried.”
I close my eyes and just let her words sink in.
“Say it again,” I beg, eyes shut.
“I love you,” she says softly, kissing my chin. “I love you,” she repeats, kissing my cheeks. “I love you,” she whispers, kissing my eyelids. “I’m in love with you, Caleb. Always and forever.”
“I fucking love you so much, Roxie. So goddamn much,” I growl before laying her down on the plastic sheeting on the floor, unbothered by the paint all over it.
“Then show me,” she provokes, pressing her pussy against my already half-mast cock.
Not having to be told twice, I spend the rest of the afternoon doing just that—loving her with every fiber of my being. With my body, my heart, and all of my soul.
And after we’re both spent, lying naked on the floor, with paint on our hair and body, I hold her tightly, vowing to spend the rest of my life making her as happy as she’s made me.
Always and forever.