Chapter 10 Penn
Penn
What the ever-loving fuck am I supposed to do now?
Jay just tried to abort our whole fake fiancé plan mid-mission, but there’s Dylan—smug grin, standing there in the foyer like he’s front-row for my humiliation. He’s waiting for us to admit something ugly, something he can chew on later.
Yeah, no. Not happening.
“Now that we’re all here…” I loop an arm around Jaylynn, dragging her closer in a way that’s only partially for show.
I drop a smile down at her, and catch the uneasy wobble in her lips before she covers it with a quick inhale.
I give her a squeeze, a silent I’ve got you.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet,” I joke with a laugh.
“My feet are cold because it’s freezing outside.” Quick, clever, and exactly why she’s dangerous in this game. She tilts toward me. “But not about us.”
“Good.” I dip my head and kiss her, slow enough for the room to go quiet, long enough for Dylan’s smirk to falter. When I lift my head, she’s looking at me like I’ve just promised her the moon.
“How about in there?” I nod toward the living room.
“Perfect,” she breathes, and I guide her in. The Christmas tree dominates the corner, tall and decked with homemade ornaments and twinkling lights. I’ve never regretted not having a tree growing up, but this one…this one tugs at something buried deep. Excitement, maybe. Longing. Happiness.
Belonging?
Nope. Not for me. This is still pretend.
“Jaylynn and I have an announcement.” My voice cuts through the hum of conversation.
Her mother gasps, covering her mouth like she’s reading my mind, and maybe she is.
For half a second, my gut tightens with the old instinct that she’s going to shut me down.
That she’ll see I’m just a guy who punches for a living and tell me her daughter deserves more.
But the confusion on her face gives way to something warm. Hopeful, even.
I deliberately keep my eyes off Dylan. I don’t need to see his reaction to know he’s about two seconds from grinding his molars to dust.
“Babe,” I say, handing Jaylynn the floor.
“We’re engaged,” she blurts. Squeals of joy erupt like someone’s just scored in overtime. “We didn’t have time for a ring,” she rushes on. “It was all so fast.” Then she turns to me, eyes shining. “And magical.”
“I didn’t even know you two knew each other that well,” Will says, glancing between us.
“We got close when I lived in Boston,” she says. “Then the move, long distance, and—”
“And the second I saw her again at the inn,” I add, pressing a hand to my chest, “The heart knew what it wanted, and my knee knew to bend.”
“You got down on one knee? That’s so sweet,” Katy sighs, smacking Conrad’s arm when he rolls his eyes.
“It was romantic,” Jay says with a swoony little look that does the strangest things to my insides. I catch Dylan’s careful, narrowed gaze on her, and my jaw tightens.
“We’re going to pick a ring out together after the holidays,” she announces. “It was all just so fast, and we need to think about Christmas first.”
Sloane extends her hand. “Oh, Jaylynn, you have to go to Tiffany’s. That’s where mine’s from.”
“It’s gorgeous,” Jay says sincerely, examining the diamond. For a flicker of a moment, I wonder if she’s picturing Dylan’s ring on her hand. And from the way Dylan’s eyes sharpen, yeah, that asshole is suddenly far more interested in my fiancée than he should be.
My fiancée.
Fake or not, that’s a no-go.
“Dylan,” I say, and his attention snaps to me.
It’s not the time for it, but I find myself saying, “You play hockey, right?”
He straightens like I just challenged him for alpha status in the room. “Yeah. You don’t grow up in Snowberry without playing. I’m a goalie.”
I might not be able to put him through the boards here, but at the rink? Oh, I can. Sure, it’ll feed the stereotype that I’m just the enforcer, but watching him bounce off the glass might just be worth it. Although, we’re playing on a pond. Maybe I’ll shove him into a snowbank.
Everyone is looking at me, no doubt wondering about the strange shift in conversation but I couldn’t help myself. “Great, we’re having a fun game with the kids tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there,” he assures me as Judy pulls Jay in for a hug, then drags me into it too, squeezing me with a warmth I don’t know how to process.
“Congratulations,” she says, eyes bright with a dreamlike essence. “We could use a wedding in Snowberry,” she says. “The country club is a perfect venue. That’s where your dad and I got married, and your brothers.”
“Thanks, Mom. No plans yet,” Jay says quickly. “Not sure if we’d get married here in Snowberry Falls.”
“Just putting it out there,” Judy replies with a glint in her eye like she’s already planning a country club wedding. “I’m looking forward to helping no matter what you decide.”
And there’s that guilt again, right between my ribs. Damn.
“We might actually have a winter wedding,” I add, just to help Jaylynn out, and gasps of outrage fill the room.
Alrighty then.
“I think this wonderful announcement calls for champagne,” Will announces.
Good, because suddenly I could use a drink. Or ten.
Wait, did he say wonderful, or am I hearing things?
“Or coffee,” Jaylynn says, glancing at Dylan.
“I know how much you love my coffee,” she adds sweetly, as everyone looks at her with the same confusion as they just looked at me when I mentioned the hockey game.
But I know what she’s up to. I bite back a smile as she grins at me.
We really are on the same page here and there’s a part of me that likes having secrets with her.
“Come help me, son,” Will says firmly, and my insides tighten.
Dammit. Is this going to be a lecture about being a good man, a good husband…
maybe even a father? Honestly, I could use a good lecture, because when it comes down to it, what the hell do I know about any of those things? I don’t even know my damn father.
As we walk, I scramble for something to say, but Will fills the silence. “How’s Elaine?”
Great. We’re going there—the unconventional way I was raised—and maybe that’s enough for him to want his daughter far away from me.
“She’s doing well,” I say. “I’d love for her to move to Boston, be closer. I worry about her.”
He gives me a warm, fatherly smile. “Soon enough she’ll be family.” My pulse kicks harder. Jesus, what the hell are Jaylynn and I doing? How can we deceive these nice people? He winks. “But just so you know, we all keep an eye on her anyway.”
My heart jumps. “You do?”
“Don’t be so surprised, son. This is a small town. We look out for our own.”
“That’s… really nice, Coach. Uh, I mean, Will.
” When I really think about it, he’s right.
It is a small town, and during my high school and Providence Grizzlies years, he did look out for me.
But suddenly that gives me pause. Was he responsible for the hamper baskets that miraculously landed on our steps at Christmas?
What about the new skates he ‘found’ at an estate sale, two towns over? New skates that were exactly my size.
Why has it taken me so damn long to put that together?
You’re dense, obviously.
“You’ll both come for Christmas dinner.” A statement, not a question. With a nod, he walks behind the bar, opening the fridge to pull out a bottle of champagne.
“I can ask her. We usually have a quiet Christmas at her place, but… cats,” I add with a cringe.
“Yes, yes. I heard she turned one of the rooms into a cat sanctuary.”
“My room,” I clarify.
Another wink. “Not like you needed it. Not with you staying in the peppermint room.”
Holy crap, this man is tuned in. Despite being a grown man and Jaylynn and I both being consenting adults, heat creeps up my neck.
Then… he turns serious.
I brace.
“Penn,” he says, setting the champagne on the counter, “You were always a good kid. Grew into a good man. I’ve always liked you.”
I wait for the but.
Instead, he reaches for the crystal glasses hanging overhead, sets two on the counter, pops the cork with a quiet pop, and pours a splash into each. He slides one toward me. We clink. Sip.
“Do you have any idea why I waited so long to send you up?”
“No,” I say quickly. But in the back of my mind, I always knew.
I clear my throat. “I wasn’t good enough,” I finally admit.
What I don’t say is how hard I worked to be what they wanted and how difficult it was to always be the guy left behind.
That I was—am—too afraid to do more. If I do exactly what is expected of me, play the game they want me to play, then I won’t be sent back. My value lies in what’s expected of me.
Will’s gaze doesn’t budge. “You were good enough a long time ago. But knowing it yourself? That’s the difference. There’s doing the job… and then there’s believing you can do more than the job.”
A knot tightens in my chest. “I’ve always done what was asked of me.”
“You’ve always fought for your team. That’s true.” His tone softens. “I was waiting for you to fight for you.”
I blink at him. “Fight for me?”
He leans in just slightly, voice low. “She saw it before any of us.” The way he says it—measured, deliberate—settles somewhere deep, but I can’t quite untangle the meaning.
I’m about to ask him what the hell he’s talking about when Judy sweeps over like a snowstorm. “Champagne!” she calls, breaking the moment as she pulls down more glasses
Will’s face shifts back to proud dad mode, but his words… Yeah, those stay lodged under my skin, louder than the holiday cheer bouncing off the walls.
A hand slides around my waist, and I glance left to find Jaylynn moving in close. Her eyes meet mine, the silent question there. Are you okay?
Am I okay?
Hell if I know.
For a guy who spends most of his life alone, this is… a lot. But I don’t hate it. The lying, though. Yeah, that part still itches under my skin.
I tug her closer and press a kiss to her forehead, right before Dylan “accidentally” bumps me, nearly spilling my champagne.
“Oh, sorry,” he says, with all the sincerity of a cat knocking a glass off a counter.
Once everyone has a drink, Will raises his. “To Jaylynn and Penn.”
“To Jaylynn and Penn,” Uncle Jack parrots, then leans toward Jay like he’s about to kiss her.
I slide in between them like a human Zamboni.
She gives me a I can handle this look, but as long as she’s with me, she doesn’t have to.
And tomorrow, at the game? I’ll be handling—man-handling—the douchebag who’s standing too close to my girl as he ignores his.
Chatter fills the room, and Dylan’s watching us again. I bend and kiss my fiancée, my silent way of telling him to fuck right off.
Judy and Katy sweep in with trays of hors d’oeuvres, and while everyone eats, Jaylynn slips her hand into mine and tugs me away.
As she leads me up the stairs, I grin. “Are we going to your bedroom?”
“Yes.”
“Is it still a shrine, and filled with all your old stuffed animals?”
“Yes again.”
I lower my voice. “Are we going to do it?”
She grins at me. “Would you like to?”
“Yes.”
She laughs. “As much as I’d like that too, no. My aunt and uncle are staying in my room.”
“Then why are we sneaking away?”
“I didn’t pack enough clothes. I need to grab some more.”
“Sexy ones?”
“Do you ever stop?”
“Do you want me to?”
“No, fiancé. I don’t.”
We step into her childhood bedroom and I glance around. “Nice.”
“Not much has changed,” she says, dropping onto the bed with a frown. “It’s like they kept it exactly the same because they knew I’d be a failure in Boston.”
“Babe, no,” I murmur, dropping to my knees in front of her. I push her knees apart, sliding into the space between. Her lashes flutter as I cup her face. “You made a mistake. It happens. You’ll get back on your feet. I know you will.”
She gives a half-shrug, not fully buying it.
“You’re killing it with the festival.” I brush my thumb over her face, as I admire everything about her. “Running it like the boss bitch you are.”
“Boss bitch?” she laughs.
“I don’t know what I’m saying.” I hang my head in shame. “Me, being here between your legs like this? The blood flow situation is… compromised.”
Her fingers thread through my hair. “We fooled them, huh?” she murmurs.
I nod in agreement, and taking note of the guilt threading its way through my body, I exhale and say, “We did.” My thoughts go to Dylan, the main reason we’re doing this. “I love how fast your announcement wiped the smug look off that asshole’s face.”
“Yeah, I liked that too,” she says quietly.
“I like your family, Jay.”
“Me too.” She tilts her head. “Wait, Dad didn’t lecture you, did he?”
He did. Or… something. I’m not sure yet. I need to sit with his words.
She saw it before any of us.
Who the hell is she?
“Can’t remember,” I lie, angling toward her lips. “No blood, remember?”
“Right,” she breathes, and I kiss her like I mean it. Maybe… I do.
When I pull back, she smirks. “You said you were confident I’d get back on my feet. While I believe you, maybe I’d like to not be on them right now.”
I stand and walk to the door.
“Where are you going?” she asks, then gasps when I shut it and twist the lock.
“To get you, my sweet fiancée…” I take two steps and give her shoulder a gentle shove. As she falls onto the bed, I say, “…off your feet.”
“But…” She pauses and points. “Downstairs.”
I chuckle, and pop the button on her jeans. “Yeah, that’s exactly where I’m going, babe.”