Chapter 24
Penn
It’s Christmas Eve, and the guys keep calling, their voices upbeat, inviting me over tomorrow for dinner, promising food, beer, and distraction.
I know what they’re doing and appreciate it, but no.
I can’t go. Not after what I did. I’d rather stay curled up in my bed, staring at the ceiling, hating myself for the spectacle I made at the festival.
For hurting the one person I swore I’d protect.
There’s no universe where Jaylynn deserved that. Yeah, sure, Dylan deserved to get decked for slashing her tires—among other things—but not at Jaylynn’s expense. Not at the cost of her reputation, her dream, her faith in me.
My phone pings again, lighting up with familiar names.
There’s only one person I want to talk to, only one person I want to beg forgiveness from.
Jaylynn. I want to tell her I’m sorry a thousand times, in every language I can think of, until she believes me.
But I’m too afraid to call, too afraid of what she’ll say to me.
And maybe… maybe Dylan was right.
The thought slices through me like a blade.
Maybe she really does deserve better. Someone who isn’t a coward on the ice.
Someone who isn’t defined by his fists and his failures.
They call me the enforcer, but I have more than brute force in me—I know I do.
Still, the Bucks never wanted that from me.
They wanted the hits, the penalties, the chaos.
And if I try to be more, if I push for a role beyond that and fail?
What then? Sent down to the Grizzlies? Cut? Forgotten?
But the truth is… that wouldn’t even feel like rock bottom anymore.
Because losing Jaylynn? That was it. That was the lowest I could fall.
But what do I have to lose now? Maybe I should go to Coach. Maybe I should demand the chance to be more, to prove I can be more. It won’t bring Jaylynn back, but at least it would honor the way she saw me—like I was worth something. Like I wasn’t just fists and fury.
She wanted me to believe in myself. She told me I was more. But no one else ever has—not my team, not my coaches. Not even my own damn parents. I’ve spent my whole life following the rules, thinking that would make me enough. Look where that got me.
The buzzer jolts me out of my dark thoughts. Someone’s at my building. I roll over, pull my pillow over my face, and groan. Whoever it is, I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to see anyone.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz.
“Go away,” I mutter into the pillow, even though they can’t hear me from the street.
It can’t be Elaine—she called earlier, and I talked to her before I left Snowberry. She wouldn’t come all this way, not on Christmas Eve.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Jesus Christ. Whoever it is, they’re relentless. I throw my pillow across the room, shove myself upright, and stomp over to the intercom, ready to tear into them. My finger slams the button. “What?”
There’s a beat of silence. Then a familiar voice. “Hey, Penn. It’s Will.”
My heart stops. Will. As in Coach Quinn. As in Jaylynn’s father.
What the hell is he doing in Boston? On Christmas Eve? He should be at home with his family, not standing outside my building. Unless… oh God. Unless I ruined Christmas for him, too.
Perfect. My gift of screwing up keeps on giving.
I hesitate, a hundred scenarios running through my head. Maybe he’s here to tear into me, to finish what Dylan started. Maybe he’s here to punch me in the face and call it justice. And the worst part? I’d let him. I’d take every hit. I deserve it.
I press the buzzer to let him in and back away from the door, my stomach in knots.
The elevator dings down the hall a few minutes later, echoing like a death knell in the silence of my apartment. My chest tightens as the doors slide open. I take a step back, bracing myself. For anger. For judgment. For the blow I probably have coming.
Because if anyone has the right to make me pay for what I did to Jaylynn, it’s her father.
“Coach,” I say automatically, my voice rough, and I edge back a step as he closes the door behind him.
“It’s Will, remember.”
My throat tightens. Will. Not Coach. Not Mr. Quinn. Just Will. The way he insisted I call him when things between Jaylynn and me felt real, felt permanent. But things aren’t real anymore, are they? She’s gone. I lost her. So, I shake my head, bitter.
“Since Jaylynn and I aren’t together anymore, I figured I should probably go back to calling you Coach. Especially since I’m pretty sure you’re here to kick my ass.”
To my surprise, he chuckles—low, genuine—and shakes his head.
“No?” I ask, confused.
“Have a seat, son.”
Son.
The word detonates in my chest.
It should be comforting, but it feels like someone tearing the bandage off a wound I’ve been trying to ignore.
All I can think about is never earning that word again.
Never being his son-in-law. Never sitting at their table with Jaylynn at my side, pretending I belong in their world.
The ache scrapes me raw, leaves me hollow.
My legs give out and I stumble back, dropping into the couch. My apartment looks like a disaster zone—takeout boxes, empty bottles, the kind of mess that screams loser. I can practically feel his disappointment crawling over the walls. Some role model for his daughter. Some catch.
The first words tumble out before I can stop them. “I’m sorry.”
His eyes soften. “I know you are.”
“I never meant to hurt her,” I rush on, the words thick with guilt. “God, that’s the last thing I ever wanted. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I blew it. I humiliated her. I’m sure she hates me.”
Will leans forward slightly, his voice steady but sure. “No, son. She doesn’t hate you.”
The word son again. My throat closes around it.
“In fact…” He lets a slow smile creep over his face, then deliberately lets the sentence dangle, unfinished.
“In fact, what?” My heart’s hammering so hard I can hear it in my ears.
“I’ll let her tell you that herself.”
“Tell me what?” My voice cracks.
“Why don’t you come back to Snowberry with me and find out.” He glances at his watch. “If we leave now, and I speed just a little, we can be there in time to watch the Grinch before bed. It’s Christmas Eve tradition.”
I shoot to my feet so fast I nearly trip over a pizza box.
“You’ve got to be kidding me?” My laugh is almost hysterical.
“After what I did? I ruined everything. I traumatized a crowd of kids. Ruined Jay’s career.
” I can barely force the next words out; they taste so bitter. “She deserves better than me.”
Will doesn’t flinch. He just arches a brow. “You think she’s better off with Dylan?”
“Fuck no.” The answer tears out of me before I can stop it.
The thought alone makes bile rise in my throat.
Will tilts his head, the tiniest flicker of a smile tugging at his mouth, and I cringe, running a hand through my hair.
“Sorry,” I mutter, heat crawling up my neck.
“Didn’t mean to swear.” But the truth is, every ounce of me meant it. Jaylynn with Dylan? Over my dead body.
“I need to tell you something, Penn. Can you please sit?”
The seriousness in his tone knocks the wind out of me, and I sink back onto the couch, my chest tight. “What?”
“Jaylynn always came to the rink with me. She loved watching practices.”
I swallow hard, already feeling where this is going. “Yeah. I saw her there sometimes.”
“She liked watching you.”
The words sting with disbelief. “Me? Really? Why?”
“Because she saw something in you. Skills you didn’t think anyone noticed.
When you were out there alone, running drills, pushing yourself after everyone else left, she quietly watched.
She told me to give you a chance, told me that once you got your shot at the big league, you’d show the world what you were really made of.
” He folds his hands together, his voice steady, certain.
“Penn, she’s the reason you were called up.
She’s the one who always believed in you. ”
Tears burn hot behind my eyes, and I squeeze them shut, pressing my palms into my face. She believed in me. Not because she wanted bragging rights or because she needed me to be some star for her benefit. She believed in me for me. She saw value in me when I couldn’t find any myself.
Jesus.
As if reading the avalanche of thoughts in my head, Will leans forward.
“She doesn’t want you to change positions because of her.
She wants it because she wants you to live up to your full potential.
Just like you want her to live up to hers.
People who love each other… that’s what they do.
They see more in you than you see in yourself, and they push you toward it. ”
I drag in a ragged breath and work to calm my chaotic thoughts.
I was always enough for her—but she wanted more for me. For me.
My throat is raw when I whisper, “And look what I did with that. Look how I repaid her.”
“What you did…” Will says firmly, but kindly, “…was protect her. Defend her. Yeah, decking Santa in front of the kids wasn’t exactly your proudest moment. But between you and me?” His mouth quirks. “If you hadn’t done it, I would have.”
My head jerks up, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.” His smile fades as his expression turns somber. He shifts in his seat, his gaze never leaving mine. “I hope I’m not overstepping here, but… I noticed Jaylynn didn’t have a ring.”
The words slice me open with guilt. Fuck, if he didn’t hate me before, he’s going to now. “Will—”
He raises a hand. “It’s okay. I know everything.”
Fuck.
“I’m so sorry. Jay came up with this plan. We never meant to deceive anyone.” My voice drops. “Did she tell you? Did she tell everyone?” I’m not sure why I’m worried about everyone hating me for this, they already hate me for ruining Christmas.
He shakes his head slowly. “No. She’s not really talking much at all right now. I only had my suspicions. You just confirmed them.”
“Jesus,” I groan, scrubbing a hand down my face. “I just confessed without even meaning to. You’re a sneaky son of a bitch.”
Will laughs, and then reaches into his pocket. When he pulls out a small velvet box, my chest seizes.
“What’s that?” I rasp.
He opens it, revealing a delicate diamond that catches the light, glowing like it’s carrying the weight of generations.
“Uh, Coach. I mean Will. I appreciate the gesture, but you’re not my type.”
That gets a belly laugh out of him, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
“This was her grandmother’s ring. Jaylynn always loved it.
We’ve kept it put away, waiting for the right time.
And I thought…” He pushes the box toward me, his voice steady.
“…this is my way of giving you my approval, Penn. You’re the son-in-law I’ve always wanted. ”
My head jerks back as my heart thumps wildly. “Are you kidding me? After everything I’ve done?”
“Yes,” he says simply. “After everything. After watching you stand up for my daughter, after seeing how deeply you care for her, after the way you’ve fought—sometimes poorly, sometimes too hard—but always for her.” He pauses, his eyes piercing mine. “Especially after seeing how much you love her.”
The truth rips out of me, raw and unstoppable. “I do love her,” I choke, tears spilling hot down my face. I bend forward, elbows braced on my knees, face buried in my hands.
Will’s voice softens, full of quiet conviction. “Then you need to tell her.”
“She’s not going to talk to me,” I say, muffled by my palms, every ounce of me terrified of the rejection I deserve.
“Penn.”
I lift my head slowly. He’s watching me with a kind of patience and hope that feels like a lifeline.
“There’s only one way to find out.”
For most of my life, I’ve been too much of a coward to try—to step out of line, to risk failure, to push past what others expected of me. But right now, failure isn’t an option. Not when it comes to Jaylynn. If there was ever a time to fight, it’s now.
I wipe my face, stand on shaky legs, and nod. “Let’s go.”