Gavin
Chapter Sixteen
No matter how much I enjoyed finally crossing the line with Maizyn, it should’ve never happened.
I can’t keep doing this. She is with Atlas.
They are soulmates by the very definition of the word.
I don’t know why I keep trying to wedge myself where I don’t belong.
No, they haven't given me a reason to think I did anything that I wasn’t welcome to do, but I can’t fuck her like she is some random chick and then move on as if nothing happened.
Every moment around her feels heavier than a casual hookup ever has.
I am absolutely fucked, I know that. It doesn’t matter if I want her.
Nothing I want matters, ever. Someone else's feelings always take priority over my own. Is that what this is? Do I have actual feelings for her? The fact that I don’t know the answer makes this so much worse.
She deserves so much more than anything I could ever give her.
Plus, I am not stupid enough to believe she will ever leave Atlas for me.
I wouldn’t want that to happen either. They both deserve to be happy.
This can’t become anything, even if I want it to.
My mind is all over the place. I have never once thought about wanting a relationship with anyone, yet the very first person who has the power to change my mind is already dating my best friend.
If I have some kind of guardian angel, he is probably sitting somewhere laughing at my misfortune.
There is no way I will be getting any sleep tonight.
Instead of wasting time staring at the wall, I figure I should do something productive.
Grabbing my laptop from my bag, I bring it with me as I plop onto the bed.
I need to invest in a desk for the room so I can work in a more comfortable position.
Being hunched over the keyboard is far from ideal, but it works for the moment.
If it wasn’t such sensitive information, I would be happy to sit at the kitchen table.
That's something I can worry about later, though.
I open up my laptop and pull up the files Ramos gave me.
Maybe there is something I missed the first time.
I scroll through everything he gave me on Vin.
It’s nothing more than boring paperwork if you don’t know what you are looking for.
I pull up my Tor Browser and dig up whatever I can find on the LLC listed to any known alias for him.
Most of them are dead ends—your basic money laundering front.
Three of the LLCs wire money to and from two different shell companies, but I already knew that.
I do an internet search of his name just to see what all comes up.
The lack of information that I find is impressive.
There are a few pictures and news articles, but everything paints him like an outstanding citizen.
I exit out of the files. There is nothing in them that I haven’t already found.
I split my browser window, pulling up Wireshark.
I run the program on the first shell company to track any network traffic.
I switch to the offshore leaks database, looking for anything that may reveal the entity behind either of the shell companies and come up empty-handed.
Exiting out of that, I pull up vesselfinder.
I try to track any products coming and going from either company, but nothing suspicious stands out.
At least not as far as kidnapping goes. One company seems to be running all of his legal businesses, so I dismiss that one and turn all of my focus to the other shell company.
He’s good. I will give him that. I would have already figured it out if it was a normal white-collar crime. If it was simple embezzlement or money laundering alone, I would have been able to crack it by now, but this level of security means whatever he is hiding is way darker than that.
I was hoping I would find this the easy way, but I know Ramos wouldn’t have asked me to do this if it was easy. I need to be able to see the actual transactions. I need to be able to see where the money is coming and going to see if anything stands out.
I try to find any weakness in the firewall.
I run several different codes. None of them are able to find me a back door into the shell account.
I type in another line of code and instead of it prompting what I intended it to, my entire screen goes black.
Warning signals flash across the black background before they dissolve to the bottom of the screen, leaving a message behind.
The white block letters are impossible to ignore.
Stop Digging while you are ahead!
“No! No! No! No! Fuck!” My screen goes completely black after the message disappears from my screen.
I try rebooting my laptop, but it's no use. I toss my destroyed laptop across the room. It hits against the wall breaking to pieces. I here grumbling on the other side of the wall that sounds an awful lot like Atlas telling me to keep it down. The guilt sets in even though there is nothing I can do about it now. The laptop is fried. It’s not often I am beaten at my own game; it’s a sucky feeling for sure.
Whoever Vin has on his payroll probably encrypted a virus through the message and completely wiped all the internal coding from my laptop.
I guess that's what I get for not using a secure wireless internet connection.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
I know I covered my tracks. There is no way they tracked it back to me.
They may have hacked my laptop, but I don't think they know enough that I am actually at risk.
I am practically a ghost online. I keep all of my personal information and accounts on a completely separate laptop so nothing can be traced back to my real identity.
I am going to take the threat as a sign that I'm getting close to finding the information that I am looking for.
I need to talk to Ramos to give him an update. I also need a new computer.
Checking the time on my phone, realizing hours have already passed, I send Ramos a text saying we needed to talk.
It’s six in the morning; I don’t expect him to be up this early and there is no point in trying to get sleep now.
I might as well start my day but I'm going to need lots of coffee to survive it.
I quietly make my way to the kitchen. I don’t want to wake the other two up just because I am awake.
I go through the motions of preparing a pot of coffee, the movements practically robotic.
Fill the pot with water, dump the water into the back of the machine, replace the filter with a new one, fill it halfway with Maizyn’s favorite brand because it's the only kind Atlas will buy, press the start button and wait for the pot to brew. Don’t ask me when I learned her favorite coffee because I couldn’t tell you, it just happened.
Movement behind me catches my attention; I turn around to face Atlas.
I guess it’s better than seeing Maizyn after the dumb shit I said last night but I am not dumb enough to think Atlas isn’t going to say something about it.
I don’t blame him. I am surprised he didn’t kick me out last night, if I am being honest.
“You look like shit. Did you even sleep?” There is a hint of humor in his voice, but it doesn’t mask the concern twisted with it.
I let out a soft chuckle as I shake my head, “How nice of you to notice, Atlas. No. I didn’t sleep. Did you?”
“I got a few hours but not nearly as much sleep as I would have liked.” The exhaustion bleeds through his words, causing me to feel even worse.
I know his lack of sleep is my fault. I go back and forth in my head about how I want to start this conversation.
Nothing I come up with seems like it will have a good outcome.
Pretty sure I am the bad guy no matter how this conversation ends.
I can’t exactly say, "Sorry, I put my dick down your girl's throat; I didn’t mean to and it won't happen again.” That's not an apology; I also wouldn’t actually mean it.
That's the fucked up part about this. I would do it all over again.
How bad of a person does that make me? Maybe we can ignore this conversation completely.
“Uh, do you want a cup of coffee?” I ask the question hesitantly, hoping that engaging in a safe topic means we can avoid the elephant in the room.
“Yeah, man. I’ll take one.”
I grab two coffee mugs out of the cabinet and can’t help thinking about my first morning here.
All I wanted was a cup of coffee and was treated to an amazing show.
Damn it, I should not be thinking about that right now.
The coffee maker beeps, indicating that the pot is finally done brewing.
I pour coffee into both cups before handing Atlas his.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” I turn my back to him as I open the fridge to get the coffee creamer. “Want any creamer?”
He lets out a breathy exhale. “You know we need to talk, right? But yeah, I will take some creamer.”
My mouth goes dry and I force out a loud, awkward laugh that I definitely don’t feel.
I pour creamer into my coffee before handing it to him.
I stir my coffee way longer than I need to, avoiding eye contact with him as I answer.
“Yeah… I figured it was coming. I’m- I’m sorry.
I know I overstepped; I don’t know what I was thinking.
I should have gone back to my room. I swear it won’t happen again. ”
“That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what-”
“Answer me this. Were you the one to initiate any of it?”
“Well, no but-”
“But nothing, Gavin. Do you really think I would have a problem with it if I let it happen? I wouldn’t have let you move in and you still wouldn’t be here if Maizyn or I were not okay with everything.”