Atlas #4
Atlas remains quiet, rising from his seat to step closer to us.
It infuriates me further that he is back to refusing to talk.
I am fighting with too many emotions at once while he sits there like a statue.
I can’t be the only one fighting for answers here.
My frustrations get the best of me and I call him out on his bullshit.
“Are you actually going to say something, Atlas? She almost killed herself and you really have nothing to say about it?”
“It’s not like that, Gavin. I can’t fight with her about this. I can’t fight with her at all.”
“Why the hell not? Why am I the only one fighting?”
“You don’t understand. She went through all of that because of me.
Because I got mad and made her feel like shit, she left.
That argument was almost the reason I lost her.
” His voice cracks, causing him to pause before he continues.
“Trevor never would’ve had the chance for everything he did to her if I had been better.
I can’t bring myself to let any situation like that happen again.
What if I fight with her again and she leaves?
Then what are we going to do?” His words hold the same torment I’m feeling.
“I get it, I do. But that doesn’t mean you let her play fast and loose with her life, Atlas! That’s a sure way for her to do exactly what she almost did!” My chest heaves with both fear and anger at my best friend and his refusal to try and keep our girl safe, even if that is from herself.
Atlas pulls on his hair, kicking the chair across the room in what I guess is either frustration or anger at my words. “I know…” All the anger seems to bleed out of him as he turns back to face Maizyn. His eyes are red and watery. “Why did you do it, Chaos?”
She looks away from us as if contemplating her answer.
If I am honest, I am a little surprised she didn’t jump in and stop our argument.
I watch her fingers move, twirling the ends of her hair.
The silence stretches for a moment, almost to the point where it becomes uncomfortable.
I almost think she isn’t going to answer.
She lets out a long, shaky exhale, visibly bracing herself before finally speaking without looking at us.
“Turns out I will kill to protect both of you, even if it's myself.”
“I would have killed Trevor to save you, but someone beat me to it.” There is a bit of humor in Atlas’ voice. His mouth is twitching as he tries to get her to look up at us.
“It suddenly dawns on me that we never actually talked about why I did it. I wasn’t originally going to kill Trevor. I was going to call the cops and tell them what he did, let them handle it.”
The attempt at a topic change is subtle but I catch it.
I could steer it back on track if I wasn’t actually interested in knowing what actually happened that day.
It’s been on my mind ever since I helped Ramos clean up the scene for her.
“What changed?” I turn, pulling my leg up onto the bed in order to focus on her explanation.
Atlas walks across the room and picks up his chair from where it landed, pulling it close, dropping into it, and grasping at her hand.
Taking the cue, I take hold of her other hand, interlacing our fingers.
I squeeze gently to silently show my support.
“He tried to get under my skin. Telling me that Atlas wasn't who I thought he was.
None of that really mattered; most of it just confused me because he kept saying he was not letting Atlas take me from him again.
Without my memories, I didn't know what that even meant. I wasn't going to kill him just for what he did to me. I thought rotting in jail would be a better punishment for him, but then he threatened Atlas, and I snapped. When he said he was going to kill Atlas, I saw red. My body moved on its own accord; the next thing I knew, my knife was in his neck. I couldn’t let him live and risk something bad happening.”
“I still don’t understand why you would risk getting killed for us.” Atlas shakes his head in disbelief.
“That's simple, I love you both more than I love myself.”
“Wait, you love me?” My voice wavers slightly.
“How could I not?” She says it with conviction, not showing a hint of doubt in her words.
My heart swells in my chest. How can this beautiful person love someone like me?
I lean over the bed, careful not to hurt her as I crash my lips to hers.
The kiss breathes life into me, gluing together parts of me I didn’t even know were broken.
I pull back just far enough to whisper against her lips. “I love you, too.”
I finally break the kiss completely before standing from the bed to retrieve the chair Atlas kicked.
Atlas kisses her as soon as I vacate the spot.
I know this is hard for Atlas too, given everything they have already been through.
I place the chair back where it belongs and take a seat, Atlas ending his kiss to her at the same time.
He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to tame the wild strands this time.
“Let's all try to get some sleep.” He sounds exhausted.
Maizyn nods her head while I grunt in response. If we get to take Maizyn home tomorrow, we are going to need all the sleep we can get.