Chapter 16
Will worked late into the night and then left for his London office early the next morning without saying goodbye.
It was easy for me to forget that he had a career and responsibilities other than fighting off my personal death squad. Lying there in bed, knowing he was so far away…two hours by car, I thought more about the past few days. About our time in this room. About my grief. And his compassion.
While staying with me, holding me, he told me about his family and his business. His captivating voice took me through his stories, making me want more.
The lockdown in my head had kept me quiet, but I was still right there with him.
Will had gone to Oxford, earned his MBA, and co-founded a private equity firm with Ethan, where they held the top positions as active partners.
He’d described his company and how it functioned. He and Ethan focused on distinct aspects of the business, each leading their own management teams.
Ethan conducted research and sourced investors and specific investments while Will negotiated contracts, closed deals, and monitored portfolios. Ethan mastered building their network, but Will was the one who closed deals and had the CEO title.
Their system made complete sense to me, because I understood how Will could be commanding and yet charming at the same time when he wanted something.
He’d said with a wink that London’s financial community openly recognized him and Ethan as the youngest founders of one of its most successful private equity firms.
But their lives were so much more complex than that.
Their father, Richard Hastings, a government intelligence agent before his death, had trained his sons to be his private soldiers, making them mercenaries for hire while also insisting on exceptional education and their own source of income.
Ethan had completed his MBA at Oxford a few years before Will. Thomas had a master’s in mathematical finance and would soon join his brothers at The Hastings Group.
The brothers were all close.
“Boo!”
I jumped.
Lissie stuck her face into my room wearing a devilish little grin. She pushed the door open wider.
“Aunt Ellie, do you wanna come to my super-secret castle tour? Will said you feel better.”
She needed me, and I’d already let her down, leaving her with Will and his mother while I cowered inside my grief, inside my own darkness. I had to step it up.
“Yes, I do feel better today, and I definitely want to go on your tour. Come in and help me find something to wear.”
But instead of coming in, she abruptly pulled the door shut. Her giggles filled the corridor, and her footsteps quickened as she ran away from my room.
Mrs. Bates, the house manager, then pushed into the room with a young housemaid on her heels.
“I sent little Lissie away for now. Let’s get you up first, dear. It’s late, and you must be starving. William said you’d eat for us today.”
Her lilting Irish accent was hypnotic. She turned to her housemaid and went on.
“Lily, say hello to our new young lady of the house.”
“What? No, I’m not that,” I said.
I pulled the sheet under my chin. It still smelled like Will.
“I’ll come to the kitchen for breakfast with everyone else.”
“No need to come down, Ms. James. I brought you a tray.”
Lily had a small voice, her accent different than Will’s.
I corrected her.
“I’m Ellie. And I’ll still go down. What did Will tell you?”
Mrs. Bates stepped in.
“Don’t blame him, dear. I do things my way round here.”
Then she muttered to herself.
“It’s quite time one of the lads made a commitment. Lord knows Mary could use a daughter in this house.”
I put my hand on my forehead.
“But Mrs. Bates, this is really a bit much.”
She tossed my robe on the bed, eyeing the wine spill, making my cheeks get hot. Then she canted her head, and her eyes hit the bathroom door.
“Nothing I can’t fix. Now don’t mind us. Go on then.”
Mrs. Bates and Lily stepped out for a minute, and I threw on my robe and hurried to the bathroom.
When I came out, they’d already made the bed and spread dozens of white and blush-pink flowers around the room, some in crystal vases and some in vintage urns.
I tugged at a large white flower, plucking it loose from a cluster, and held it under my nose to inhale its rich fragrance.
Will hadn’t bothered with a card. But why would he?
With a sigh, I waltzed across the room to the window.
“English roses, dear. He’ll give you nothing but the best,” Mrs. Bates said.
She smiled when I met her eyes and then shut the door.
I also smiled, then an image of Will’s amazing body filled my head. But it wasn’t just his appearance that attracted me to him.
Something about the way he moved and the way he said my name had changed me, taken me to a carnal place inside myself that I never knew existed.
And when he came home from London, I would definitely have all of him.
I finished dressing and ate the toast and jam from the tray, sipped some coffee, and planned on finding Lissie. But before I made it out the door, a text message alert on my phone caught my attention.
I hadn’t looked at my phone for days.
There were seven voice messages and many text messages.
All from Jess and Josh.
I’d contacted the carrier to extend my coverage to England just before leaving the US, though Will cautioned me not to take any calls…to keep them safe, to keep us all safe.
I didn’t read the text messages, not yet, but I started on the voicemail. I wanted to hear Jess’s voice, to know how she’d been coping emotionally.
Jessica Johnson: “Hey, it’s me, and you’re scaring the hell out of me, Ells. Josh said you’re safe, but I need to hear it from you. You call me back, damn it.”
Josh Mendes: “I did some digging. I know who he is, which means I know where you are. I never thought—well, at least his resources are good, so he should be able to keep you safe. He fucking better.”
Josh Mendes: “Keep your eyes and ears open. You’re officially considered a potential suspect in the investigation now. I’ll do what I can to lead them in another direction, but you left me with nothing useful. Ask him if he can do something about that. Stay safe.”
Josh Mendes: “I miss you. Do you love him? Come home, Ellie. Just come back, and we’ll fix this.”
Jessica Johnson: “I know you would tell me to trust Josh. He says this is for the best, you being gone, that I should let go. But that’s bullshit. You’re my best friend…my…you’re my family. I can’t just pretend I’m okay with this. Damn you, Ells. And damn him.”
I didn’t go on and listen to the rest. I couldn’t bear to hear more of the pain I’d caused them, the pain in Jess’s voice.
Because to live, I had to hurt her. To live, I had to let the police consider me a suspect.
My stomach turned over. A knot swelled in my throat.
Feel the pain, I reminded myself.
The sensation of being trapped in a cold place hit me, then my anger took over, heating me from the inside out.
I threw my fucking phone at the wall.