Chapter 9
While Finn and Ben were having a tricky conversation in the dog-walking field, back in reception, Jade and Sarah were having a heated discussion about their hen night.
It wasn’t the first discussion they’d had and Jade had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. While they’d agreed on pretty much everything when it came to their joint wedding, their joint hen night was proving much more difficult.
Jade had always known it would be like this. They were diametrically opposed on what constituted a good night out, and their ideas of the perfect hen night couldn’t have been more different.
Sarah’s top choice was a weekend in Ibiza and Jade’s was a quiet meal out with friends.
They’d had that discussion a while ago.
‘I can’t think of anything worse than getting off our faces in Ibiza for two days, and besides, I can’t leave the sanctuary.’
‘Well, I can’t think of anything worse than sitting in some tediously dull restaurant eating soggy spaghetti.’
‘We wouldn’t be going anywhere that does soggy spaghetti.’
‘And we wouldn’t have to get off our faces in Ibiza.’
They’d both laughed back then, knowing there must be a compromise somewhere in the middle, but even though their hen night was now barely a month away, they’d decided it would be one week before the wedding, they still hadn’t firmed up on what they were actually going to do.
Now, Jade frowned as she chewed the top of her pen. She was sitting behind the reception desk and Sarah was sitting in the guest chair opposite.
‘I think I’ve found the perfect solution,’ Sarah announced, getting out her phone and scrolling through screens. ‘It’s a bit quirky but it’s not too out there.’ She raised her eyebrows and smirked.
‘Does it involve naked men and Prosecco?’
‘How did you know that?’ Sarah shot her a look of mock surprise.
‘Because I know you.’ Jade smirked back. ‘I told you it can’t involve strippers. Finn’s mum will be there. Not to mention Dawn, and Ursula.’
‘Bridie’s Irish,’ Sarah retorted, as if this explained everything. ‘I’m sure she’d love to see a nice fit bloke in the buff.’
‘Well, Dawn and Ursula are both pensioners. They won’t be interested.’
‘I bet they will. There’s no age limit on wanting to look at fit young men in the buff.’ She fanned her face. ‘Thank the lord.’
Jade thought she was probably right about that, even though it still struck her as a bit weird. ‘We’d hate it if the guys did it,’ she pointed out. ‘I mean if they were out ogling naked young women a week before they married us.’
‘I wouldn’t mind. It’s going to be the last chance they get.’ Sarah grinned. ‘Any other objections?’
‘I suppose not.’
‘Anyway, it’s not a stripper.’
‘So why are we even having this conversation?’
‘Because they are naked. And it does involve Prosecco. But it’s very tasteful, I promise.’ She held out her phone. ‘Have a look before you say no, out of hand.’
Jade took the phone and looked at it suspiciously.
‘A naked butler?’
‘A naked mixologist.’
‘What’s the difference?’
‘A butler would be serving our drinks in the buff. As in wandering around with no kit on. I can see you might not be up for that. But this one’s just making them.
Shaking up cocktails, you know.’ She grinned and stood up and mimed a shaking action with her hands and circled her hips.
‘Shaking it all about.’ Then she widened her eyes. ‘Are you seeing what I’m seeing?’
Jade laughed despite herself as she looked at the screen filled by a gorgeous muscle-bound hunk in an apron with a tattoo of a snake on his right pec. ‘You’re incorrigible.’
‘I know. It’s one of the reasons you love me. So what do you think?’
‘Where’s the venue?’
‘We can pick our own. They don’t supply a venue. Mike’s got a room out the back of the Red Lion that he hires out for open mics to the local poetry group. I’m sure he’d let us have that cheap if he could supply the drinks.’
‘Yes, he probably would.’
‘I get the impression you’re still not keen.
’ Sarah folded her arms. ‘So… do you have any other ideas? A telly supper and an early night, maybe? A bat watch walk down by the river? Forest bathing and a gong bath at midnight maybe?’ She clicked her tongue.
‘We’re going to have to decide soon or we won’t be having a hen night. ’
Temporarily at a loss for an answer because she didn’t have any other ideas, Jade scrolled through Sarah’s phone. ‘This crowd do craft-making workshops too,’ she said, playing for time.
‘Craft making! What, you mean like basket weaving? Are you telling me you fancy weaving a basket on your actual hen night?’
She looked so astounded that Jade giggled. ‘They also do life drawing. That’s naked, isn’t it? That would be right up your street – staring at a naked man while sipping Prosecco.’
‘Let me see that.’ Sarah grabbed her phone from Jade’s hands.
‘Oh my God. You’re right. That could be excellent fun.
And it counts as culture. It’s art, isn’t it.
We could learn about drawing. Think of the talent they might have – I mean, we might have.
’ She scrolled through the images of women with pencils in their hands, sitting at easels and sketching naked male figures.
‘This is perfect. Well done, darling. I think we’ve cracked it. ’
Her face was so lit up that Jade looked at her suspiciously. She had a sneaking suspicion that she’d just been played. Sarah had probably known about the life drawing option all along.
Oh well, it didn’t matter. At least they’d finally come to an agreement. A horrible thought struck her. ‘Hey, you don’t think we’ve left it too late, do you? It says here they get booked up months ahead.’
‘Nope, they’re not booked up. I messaged them to check the date.’
So her suspicions were right then. ‘You’ve already booked it, haven’t you?’
‘I might have made a provisional booking.’ Sarah looked slightly flushed. ‘Do you want me to cancel it?’
‘No, I don’t. And you’re right, it’s the kind of thing all ages will enjoy. Aiden’s Kate will love it too. Is there a set number of people that can go?’
‘It’s small groups, I think, because they provide the art materials. And we are a small group, aren’t we?’ She counted on her fingers. ‘Last time I looked it was you, me, Bridie, Dawn, Ursula, Aiden’s Kate, Claire and Emma from school and Dorrie if she’s up for it.’
Dorrie, Finn’s stepmother, was the oldest in the hen party – she was nearly seventy – but she was young at heart and completely unshockable. Jade was pretty sure she’d be up for some life drawing, hen party or no hen party.
Sarah went on. ‘They also give you a bit of tuition, but it’s not supposed to be taken too seriously.
And you can have party games at the end.
’ Sarah shot her a look. ‘That could be fun. And you can decide whether your model is naked or just semi-naked – you know, if you were worried about them getting – um – cold. Mike’s back room might get a bit nippy. ’
They both laughed again and Jade got up. ‘I’ll make us some coffee. I’m really glad that’s sorted. Did you book Mike’s back room too?’
‘Provisionally.’ Sarah winked. ‘He’s giving it to us for nothing, on condition that we buy all the drinks from him and we don’t get too lairy.’
‘Us? Lairy?’ Jade shook her head. ‘As if.’
Finn laughed when Jade told him about their hen party arrangements much later that day.
It was nine thirty and Ben had just gone up to bed with Chocko hot on his heels. He was always exhausted after a few hours at Duck Pond Rescue. They both turned a blind eye to the fact Jade didn’t encourage dogs to sleep in bedrooms.
‘So we might soon have another artist in the family?’ Finn gave Jade an enquiring look. ‘Should I be worried you’ll be muscling in on my market?’
‘I thought your market was landscapes.’ Jade blushed despite herself.
She was beginning to think she must be a prude, because despite her earlier bravado with Sarah, she did still feel a bit embarrassed about the prospect of drawing naked men.
‘You don’t mind me doing life drawing, do you? ’ she asked him, suddenly worried.
‘Do I mind the love of my life ogling a naked man that isn’t me? Should I mind?’ His grey eyes were cool and Jade felt her cheeks flushing brighter.
‘I don’t have to do it. We can do something else. I’ll get Sarah to cancel.’
Finn put a hand on her arm. ‘I’m winding you up. Of course I don’t want you to cancel. Anyway, it’s art, isn’t it? Nudity for the sake of art’s fine.’
‘Is it?’ Jade smiled at him.
He leaned in for a kiss. ‘Have you told Dorrie? She’ll be delighted. Although I’m not so sure about what my old man will say. Him and his stiff upper lip.’
‘No, that’s true. I won’t put the hen night arrangements on the family WhatsApp group then, just in case she wants to keep it a secret.’
She squeezed his hand. ‘I’m getting excited now. Are you?’
‘I am. And we’re not having a stripper for our stag night, before you ask. At least I don’t think we are. None of my stags have arranged it. I can’t speak for Callum though.’
Jade laughed. ‘You can do what you like, Finn. I don’t mind. How did it go with Ben today? Did you speak to him about the fight?’
Finn told her what had happened and Jade listened with interest and some concern to the story of the fight and the swear words. ‘We should probably get rid of that list before Ben learns any more. I’ll tell Sarah.’
When Finn mentioned that Ben had actually been the instigator of the fight, she frowned.
‘That’s not good. You should probably tell Sarah about that too.
But I can see how it happened. It’s partly lack of knowledge, isn’t it?
On both sides, I mean. Ben not knowing about the latest leaps in science and Niall not knowing the facts of country life.
It would be really good if we could get Ben to invite Niall over here for a visit.
And then he could see for himself that chickens lay eggs – if he’s lucky he might even get to see it in action. ’
‘That’s a great idea, but I can’t see Ben being too keen.’
‘It’s worth asking Sarah about, though. Maybe Ben could bring his friend Darren over too. There must be a way we could engineer that. Maybe even a school trip. Then the whole class could come.’
‘That sounds like a possibility. I’m guessing schools must still do days out. And it’s a cheap option, isn’t it? They’d just need a minibus and a couple of helpers.’
‘It would be fun,’ Jade said. ‘A whole class of eight-year-old boys rampaging through Duck Pond Rescue all yelling Victorian insults at each other.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘What’s not to like?’
Finn bit his lip. ‘Good point. Are you sure?’
‘No, but it’s for a good cause. I’m all for teaching kids the facts of country life, which presumably is the last thing they bother looking at on their smartphones.’
He kissed her. ‘That’s one of the things I love about you.’
‘My gullibility.’
‘Your generosity and kindness.’
‘It’s just as much for the animals as it is for the children,’ Jade pointed out. ‘So don’t go thinking I’m going soft in my old age. Besides, some of the mothers might want to rehome a dog or give us a donation. It’s good PR.’
‘It’s also time for bed,’ Finn said. ‘We can discuss this some more tomorrow.’
But the next day something happened that blew all thoughts of Victorian insults and school visits out of everyone’s mind.