Chapter 34
Teagan
It’s been a week since my brother found out about Quentin being the father of the baby. The longer I waited to tell him, the harder it was to figure out a way to tell him without him losing his mind.
But now that it’s out in the open, I feel so relieved that I don’t have to hide this major part of my life from him anymore. I’m already hiding enough.
I’m not sure how or if it’s possible, but I’m hoping somehow on this road trip they work things out. Because I won’t be able to handle the tension between them for the rest of our lives.
So despite feeling relieved, I’m sad too because I hate that Ian isn’t talking to me right now. We’ve never not talked. It was us against the world growing up. We were always there for one another, and it pains me to see him this hurt that I kept this from him.
A tear runs down my cheek, not even a surprise to me because it seems like all I do anymore is cry randomly since I found out I was pregnant.
It used to piss me off at first because I hate being emotional, but now I’ve started to accept it since I can’t control it.
And I must say, it’s freeing to let myself feel without guilt or embarrassment.
A knock on the front door has me quickly wiping my tears away as I shuffle to the entryway to answer it.
Standing on my tiptoes, I peek through the peephole and see Camille and Olivia on the doorstep.
I open the door, confused as to why they’re here.
“Hi,” I say cautiously. “Is everything okay?”
“Yup. We just wanted to see if we could come over and hang out?” Camille proposes with a smile. “If you’re not busy, of course.”
Honestly, they came at the perfect time.
I need this girl time. I would usually call my friends, but they’re both in the middle of their seasons and around the world, with Clara playing in Canada this week, and Kaya in New Zealand.
Besides, I don’t want to bother them with my drama while they’re busy working.
They probably wouldn’t care and would love to be there for me, but I feel like I’ve already put enough on their plates in the past few weeks.
Plus, Clara’s been working hard on planning this baby shower, adding to her busy schedule.
I have no idea what the plans are other than when and where, with Clara keeping everything a surprise.
The only thing keeping me from feeling bad about it is hearing how much fun she’s having planning everything.
“I would love that,” I reply, stepping back to welcome them inside.
“Hey, Coach,” Olivia says as she walks inside, then wraps her arms around me. “I can’t wait for the baby to be here.”
My heart clenches from the action as I hug her back, happy that she feels comfortable enough with me to do that.
“I’m excited too. I know you’ll be the best cousin,” I tell her as she pulls away from me.
“I will. I promise!” she says happily.
Olivia found out last week when I announced my pregnancy at work and to the world.
Since telling Ian was out of the way, and the fact that I’m starting to show no matter how much I try to hide it, I gave Nina the go ahead to publish the news on social media with a joint statement from Quentin and me.
She left out the personal details, simply saying that we were welcoming a child in the new year and that we were both excited to be parents.
Social media has been blowing up with congratulations from my fans, and even some of my past teammates. While some comments speculate that this is truthfully why I retired from the competition.
Gosh, I miss gymnastics. I miss competing and challenging myself.
And as much as I say I’m going to compete again, there’s a part of me that can’t help but wonder how the fuck I’m going to pull that off.
Before I learned I was pregnant, I could keep up with training and working on my skills.
But now it’s a safety risk for the baby, according to my doctor.
Which means it’s more time off, more time for skills to fade and my muscle strength to decrease. I’ve never had this much time off, and there’s so much unknown about what will happen once Blueberry’s here. What if my body won’t be able to come back to how it was before?
Olivia takes off into the living room and opens a cabinet under the TV, where a stack of coloring books and markers are stored.
“She knows what she’s doing,” I say with a chuckle as Camille and I take a seat on the couch.
“That she does. Quentin keeps a few of her favorite things here for whenever he watches her,” Camille comments, her eyes full of love as she looks at her daughter.
Olivia smiles happily and plops down onto the floor, getting situated with her book.
“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s always thinking of others,” I remark, my heart fluttering because I know exactly how caring he is. I’ve been on the receiving end of it for weeks now, enjoying every second of it.
“He’s really the best,” Camille replies as she tucks her long blonde hair behind her ear.
Her comment, while true, makes me wonder that since his care taking ways are a part of who he is, and if fatherhood is actually something he wants. Or is he doing this because it’s what he’s done his whole life?
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“And it’ll stay between us?”
“Always, I promise.”
“Is this the life your brother wanted? Like fatherhood, I mean? I know he’s been a caretaker all his life, so I guess I want to know, is this something he would’ve chosen naturally or is it just him dealing with the circumstance he’s in?”
It’s something that’s been in the back of mind, wondering if I cornered him into this life.
Camille doesn’t miss a beat, answering immediately. “It is without a doubt what he’s always wanted. Quentin loves being an uncle, but I know the last few years he’s been lonely. Especially after…well, maybe I shouldn’t—”
“He told me about that,” I tell her.
“So, yeah, especially after he thought he was going to have it once, and to have it all be fake really opened his eyes to what he wants in life. Quentin is the kind of guy that, yes, will take care of people with no questions asked, but I know my brother, and he’s doing this because he wants this.
That baby is going to be the center of his world. ”
Her words give me the validation I needed, knowing that I didn’t ruin his life somehow, despite his insistence that he’s excited to be a dad.
While this may not be the path we intentionally chose, I think it’s becoming the one we were supposed to be on.
“Blueberry is lucky to have him,” I reply softly, not missing the smile on Camille’s face as I say it.
She’s been nothing but so sweet to me, and I want to make sure she knows how grateful I am.
“I appreciate you being so welcoming. I know it’s not an ideal situation, but I’m happy your brother’s the one I’m doing it with. ”
“I’m glad this baby has two strong, loving, and kind parents. Even though I don’t know you well, I’m a good judge of character.” She winks, turning the serious conversation a little more light-hearted.
“Thank you.” I smile softly, a sense of comfort wrapping around me at how easy she is to talk to. Then I ask, “Can I get you two anything?” Not wanting to be a bad hostess.
“We’re good for now, thank you. But we may have to order dinner soon if that’s okay. I’m not the best cook.” She chuckles.
“That’s okay. Quentin made a bunch of meals for me to eat while he’s gone. There should be enough,” I assure her as I stand and make my way to the kitchen to see what I could take out to feed us later.
Camille follows, perching herself on a stool at the island as she asks, “Quentin made you food for the week?” Her tone is a mix of shocked and curious.
I pause with my hand on the fridge handle, turning to face her so I can see the look on her face. She’s got this cheeky smile going on with hearts in her eyes, making me relieved she’s not annoyed by that.
“Yeah, he didn’t want me to worry about cooking while he’s gone,” I reply, feeling my cheeks heat.
Camille squeals. “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard!”
It really is.
He made an entire two weeks’ worth of dinners and baked goods, some in the freezer to preserve their freshness. The fact that he’s made sure we would be taken care of while he’s away makes my heart skip a beat because it might be the sweetest thing someone’s ever done for me.
Between the playlist he made based on the music I like to this, he’s making it incredibly hard to remember what the word platonic means.