Chapter 8
Hope
They had made it to the safehouse in the middle of Corentre, and yet, their arrival in Thyria had been an absolute failure. A bloody massacre. They had killed dozens if not hundreds of the Cardinal Queen’s flying pets, but that meant nothing at all.
The Queen, wherever she was—probably on Hope’s own throne, the Organ Mandor throne—was untouched, alive, still breathing.
Sasha and Brendon hadn’t survived, and many courtrades of their navia had stayed there to fight for their lives. Or more accurately, to fight for their deaths with dignity. If any of them managed to survive or somehow escape that army of sangins, it would be a Cardinal’s miracle.
It was a terribly sour feeling, to be in a safe place while knowing others still fought for their survival.
It was wrong. So wrong. And yet, staying there and leaving both panom and courtrade societies without their leaders was stupid.
Did this soul-eating guilt come with the post?
Was she meant to learn to live with this?
Because if that was the case, there was a long way to go until she made her peace with it.
Good thing she was used to living in a constant war for survival.
Since they had arrived at the apartment, Ciaran hadn’t left her side, his firm hand on the small of her back.
Stevian, Ciaran’s grandfather, had the palm of his hand forming a semicircle that resembled the crescent shape of Llunal’s mark and their courtrade magic.
His whispers were inaudible, but Hope managed to hear him repeating, over and over, “May the stars not hinder their darkness. May Llunal shade them all.” He left the room amidst whispers and prayers, leaving Ciaran and Hope alone.
She bit her bottom lip and turned to Ciaran, lowering her head until it was against his chest.
“What have we done?” she whispered, her words leaving her mouth before she could rein them in. At least she didn’t ask the full question roaming her mind: what had they allowed to happen?
They were responsible for these people. Their people believed in them, to the point of giving their lives for their cause. Their armies were giving them their lives, and what had they offered them instead? Their deaths.
Where had they gone wrong? How could it all have gone so fast, so wrong?
Was their love the cause of things being missed?
The root of distractions, of lack of planning, dooming them to this outcome?
After her mother died at the hands of her past love, Hope had always been wary of love as the most dangerous weakness.
When she looked at Ciaran, she didn’t see a weakness now, though. She saw—she felt—strength. Strength that could change worlds, strength that could fight and win any battle, strength that united, formed, created.
Looking at today’s events, though, there wasn’t anything created, and there was a lot destroyed. Was this feeling of might and power an illusion, then? Was it all a trick, proof of the danger of love? Was love, as she had always learned to believe, the most dangerous weapon Fate could wield?
She inhaled deeply, and Ciaran held her tightly in his arms. “We did what we could. We did what we had to do,” he said against her hair.
She didn’t need to say it hadn’t been enough. They both knew exactly how far from enough it had been.
“We have to do something. Soon. We can’t hide forever.
We hid when my father was chasing us because we thought we needed the Fifth Power to kill him.
Now Jake, Ayla, and I have the Fifth, and he is dead.
We are not hiding again, Ciaran. We just can’t,” she said, shaking her head against his firm chest before stepping back to look at him.
She could get lost in the deepness of his dark blue eyes.
“I will not hide. I would rather die than hide. A life hiding from whatever Fate wants to throw at us is not a life worth living.”
His metallic hand stroked her cheek, and he put a strand of hair that had escaped her braids behind her ear. The cool touch against her skin sent a trail of warmth towards the middle of her chest. “We will not hide, Hope. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
She leaned in, yearning to get lost in him and the safety he provided her. She had never felt such safety before. The metal ring of his bottom lip made contact with her top lip before their mouths collided, and the softness of his lips on hers and the taste of his tongue was unnaturally pleasant.
She held the sides of his head as she separated herself enough to say quickly, “I need you, Ciaran. I need you so much.”
His blue eyes glinted, and the hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He looked down at the black patterns inked on his biological arm and at the top of his chest.
“I often wonder how I survived centuries without you, Hope. The gods and their inks made me wait for you, reminding me you would come, reminding me to be patient. My dreams of you kept me alive. When I didn’t want to continue, when nothing seemed of worth, then another ink would mark me, reminding me it was a matter of time.
Countless times I struggled to believe my wait wouldn’t be forever.
” He swallowed, leaning in until his forehead touched hers, a trail of shadows slowly spinning around their bodies.
“And here you are, Hope. My dreams and my hopes come true. My meaning and my world, the reason to keep breathing, the reason to keep fighting. I need you, Hope. You are the light I never knew I needed in the night I’ve always lived in. ”
“You are the love of my life, Ciaran,” she promised, red sparks of her magic leaving her fingers as they answered the call of his shadows, intertwining with them.
She felt his night and pine scent shouting home in every pore, in every cell.
“Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Never,” he swore.
“I love you more than I ever believed was possible to love.” A tear full of emotions roamed freely down her cheek.
He chuckled softly. “You continuously prove me wrong, too, my strong, precious beauty. It’s only fair I challenge your beliefs now and then too.”
Ciaran dried the tear with his metallic finger before gently kissing the spot where it had disappeared from. “We will not hide, Hope.”
“We will not. We will stop this nonsense. We will find a way for people to live in peace.”
“We will.”