Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Eigh t
Thayne
M y foot accelerates on the gas pedal as I drive through the town, attempting to comprehend the last message I got from Mack.
MACK: I found Elijah. Meet me at the station.
I make a ten minute drive in three, my tires screeching at me as I park between two bays, wasting no time in hopping out and barging my way into the sheriff's office.
“Where’s my brother?”
“Thayne, now listen. Hey!”
I barge past reception and catch the closing door before me, colliding straight with my brother who holds me firmly at arm's length.
“Relax.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Mack.” I snap. “Tell me where he is.”
“Hey. You can’t bulldoze into my place of work like this. It’s not a good look Thayne. If we’re doing this we have to do this on my terms. Mine.”
I grudgingly follow him quietly into the next room. A suffocating aroma of freshly dried paint is all I can process before Mack moves out of my eyeshot.
Through the bars of the cell sits a slouched Elijah, but he hasn’t seen me yet. He hums a familiar tune that I recognise as Emberli’s stolen song. He doesn’t look guilty. He doesn’t look at all troubled.
Standing in front of him is Emberli, her arms are folded over her chest and the look of gloominess shadows her.
Her head spins to me and she sighs. “Hey.”
“Hey. We should talk.” I move over to her and she takes a step back.
“Not now.”
I don’t follow through on heading towards her, she has every right to be mad at me.
I hear a laugh from Elijah. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Grow up, Elijah.” Emberli sighs.
“You’re still a bore, I see.”
Shooting my hand out, I grasp his shirt in my fist as I pull him against the bars, anger coursing through my veins for all the people he’s hurt and gotten away with it.
In him, I see my dad, hurting whoever he wants just because he can and eager to avoid the consequences of his own actions.
“Don’t even think about talking to her. You don’t deserve to talk to her.”
“Maybe I need to remind you since you’ve both been playing happy families. But that child in there is mine.” He says smugly, nodding his head at Emberli’s stomach.
“Like hell he is.” Emberli replies. “You’re going away for a long time, Elijah.”
“You’re crazy, Emberli.”
“No. No. You made me this way. You made me crazy. I second guess peoples’ intentions with me every time that they’re nice because of you. I can’t communicate properly because of you. I am constantly reminded of how you treated me and I don’t think that will ever go away. I will not let you do the same to him. ”
“You can’t take him from me. There are rules.”
“And I’ll break every single one of them if it means it keeps you away from them.” I spit at him.
“Aw, Daddy Thayne to the rescue. Under that big coat of protection, we all know that you’re terrified to lose those you care about. Such a shame about Mae.”
He had some nerve bringing up Mae after what he did to her.
“You know she called for you, right?”
“He’s lying, Thayne.” Mack says from behind me.
“Am I? She was on the pavement and she was screaming your name.” Elijah clicks his tongue at me and my heart begins to beat irregularly. Suddenly I can’t think straight. I only think of the night Mae died. I could have been there and how I could have saved her like I could have saved my mom and my dad.
“We’ve got his confession. Let him rot.” Mack reminds me.
My knuckles begin to turn white at the grasp I hold on him and I let go, taking pleasure in watching him stumble as far away from me as he can.
Good. He should be scared.
“Rot? Do you know who I am? Emberli! Hey! Don’t fucking walk away from me!”
I lunge forward to grab him again, but he only laughs at the bars that protect him. “You can have that slut, Thayne. I don’t want her.”
“Leave it, Thayne.” Emberli’s voice rings in my ears and I hesitate, turning around to her. She looks all but amused and she spins on her heels, marching outside.
“Go. I got this.” With confirmation from my brother, I track down Emberli before she gets too far.
“Hey! Wait a sec.”
“Thayne, I’m tired. Okay?”
“I know. I should have told you the truth about Mae and I’m sorry.”
“It’s not just about Mae.”
“Okay.” I nod. “What else? Talk to me. ”
“Do you honestly think that you’re able to love my son?”
I frown. “Where is this coming from?”
“What if he looks like Elijah? What will you do then?”
“Love him. I love…”
“You can’t promise that. I saw the hatred in your eyes when you looked at Elijah.”
“Emberli, I would never hate the baby.”
“You hated me. When I first came into town, you hated me.”
“I did not hate you.”
Her eyes find me guilty and she shakes her head. “I don’t want you to hate him, Thayne.”
A tear strolls down her cheek and I hate it. I hate seeing her cry. But she’s raised her walls around her again and I can’t seem to get through to her. There’s no way in.
“I could never hate him. I could never hate you.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Her voice is raised and her emotions heightened as her fists ball beside her.
“I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear because it’s not true.”
Her lips quiver and she looks away, her voice as cold as ice as she says, “I think I need more time. I think I need to leave.”
***
The next few days are torture.
I’d tried to give Emberli the space she needed but not seeing her, not even being in the same county as her, was driving me insane and I’d been wallowing in my sorrows ever since.
“Willow…”
“Get the fuck out of my way Ryker. Right now.”
It’s a matter of seconds before my little sister storms into the living room of my cabin. An infuriated expression cloaks her face, her eyes glisten with a mixture of disappointment and fury.
“Why are you still sitting here?”
“Not right now, Wills.”
“No. We’re doing this right fucking now.” She stands in front of the television with her hands on her hips. “Why are you still sitting here?”
After a few seconds of silence, she speaks again. “I’ll tell you why you’re still sitting here.” I hear Ryker murmur her name but she doesn’t take any notice of him, her attention remains solely on how pathetic I look as I sit here.
“Because you refused to open yourself up to a woman that was prepared to put up with you and your shit. And she made you feel things that you haven’t felt before. Now you’re afraid because now she’s gone because you didn’t tell her about Mae.”
My head shoots up. “This isn’t about Mae.”
“This has everything to do with Mae!” Willow yells. “God I’m so pissed at you right now for fucking this up. You love her, Thayne. We can all see it. I’m more mad that you’re sitting here instead of going after her.”
“There is nothing I can say or do that is going to make this any better.”
“That.” She points at me. “That attitude is what lets you down. I love you, Thayne. But you’re a fucking idiot if you think that can’t do attitude is going to get you anywhere in life, and every minute you sit here, you lose her. Mae is dead, Thayne. You can’t live in the past anymore, especially when the future's right in front of you.”
Willow was right. Of course she was.
Fuck. I love her.
I love Emberli and that little boy she carries inside of her with every fiber of my being and I’m terrified I’ve ruined something special.
“What am I going to do?” I mumble .
“Get up off your sorry ass and go and fix this.”
Right .
“Do you know where she is?” I grab my jacket and shrug it on. I had to make this right. I couldn’t let Emberli go.
I thought that I was beyond repair long ago, yet she somehow managed to change that, and bring me back to life with her smiles and was hellbent on showing me that love wasn’t a scary thing that could disappear, it was also beautiful. And that was why I couldn’t let her go.
“I’ll send you the address.” I brush past her until she calls my name. I turn and her hardened eyes meet mine. “Fix this.”
She didn’t have to tell me again.
I headed straight for my truck, slamming it into reverse.
All the way there I pray that she’ll still be there. I’ve never been a religious person. I’ve suffered too many unjustifiable losses to believe in it. But I do believe someone up there sent Emberli to me, whether it was my mother or Mae herself. I believed someone knew that I needed Emberli and her little boy who I love so much. And like a remedy for a heartache, Emberli opens the door the next morning, eyes widening when she sees me.
“Thayne?”
Emberli
“Thayne?”
He stands there filling my doorway, clothes drenched with rain and his chest heavy as he tries to catch his breath like he’s spent the last hour running.
“What are you doing here?”
“You.” He doesn’t even hesitate.
“What? ”
“Everyone was at breakfast as usual, normal times, normal food and normal… my point is, you were missing, Emberli. And I hated every fucking second of it. You belong with me. You once asked me what got me through the hard days and what got me up in the morning. I’m saying it’s you.”
I suck in a sharp breath at his revelation just as he closes the distance between us and shakes his head.
“It’s always been you.”
I let out a breath before glancing behind me, my mom and sister both have shocked expressions on their faces.
I hold up my index finger to them before closing the door behind me and I fold my arms over my chest.
“Thayne, look…”
“Let me finish. Please.” He pleads and I nod, letting him step closer to me and under the shelter.
I loved home, but I didn’t love its constant rain.
In Shadow Peaks’ it rarely rained, it was one small thing I loved so much about that town.
“Mae was my best friend and I was so angry at the world when Elijah took her from me. He was drunk that night when he left the ranch and everyone told him not to drive home. I told him myself I’d drive him, but when I came back from the bathroom, he’d gone. I remember Mack calling me and telling me that Mae had been taken to hospital. Elijah took her there, said it was all his fault, that he hit her. They’d tried to treat her wounds at the hospital but they couldn’t save her. She died that night and Elijah took off. I could have seen her. I could have been by her side but I chose to go after Elijah. I will not let my anger for him ruin what I have with you.”
I pull Thayne into my chest, wrapping my arms around him as he sobs. I’d never seen him like this.
So open. Vulnerable.
There isn’t a side to Thayne I don’t love.
I love him and all the baggage that comes with him. There isn’t a part of him I’m not truly and undoubtedly infatuated with .
“You couldn’t have done anything.” I tell him, desperately trying to be the strong one out of the two of us and clinging onto the bravery I needed to have for him. “It’s not your fault, Thayne. It’s not your fault.”
When we eventually pull apart, he stares at me. Puffy red-eyed and pools of sadness within them.
I want to save him from all of his pain.
“I’ve never been good at opening up to people, Emberli. And I should have opened up to you. I didn’t know how and I know that’s no excuse and whatever you decide, I understand. But I want you to know that I have never loved anyone the way I love you and that little boy inside of you. You have made me feel things that I never thought I’d feel and now I know what it feels to be loved by you, nothing will ever be the same again. I love you, Emberli Taylor. And I’m sorry if I’ve done a fucking awful job of showing it. But if you let me, I’ll make it up to you. I swear I will and…”
“Thayne.”
“And I love you so goddamn much. I love the way you cry every single time Mufasa dies in The Lion King. I love the way that you can’t speak to anyone before six in the morning unless you’ve had three decaf coffees. I love the way you care for my family. I love the way you’re so nervous about this baby even though you’re going to be an amazing mom. I love your voice. I love your smile. I love you, trouble. Forever.”
“I love you too.” My mission to not cry failed, and he kisses my tears away frantically as he holds me. He’s perfect and I don’t think I’d ever deserve him the way he’s so sure I do.
But he’s as much mine as I am his.
And I can’t wait for the rest of our lives together.
“Not to ruin this incredibly cute moment that mom and I have not been eavesdropping on one bit, but would you guys like to come in for lunch?” My sister's head pokes through the front door with a stupidly large grin on her face and I turn to Thayne.
“I’d love lunch. ”
“Have you even slept?” I ask him.
“Nope. Needed to get to you.”
“I wasn’t going anywhere. I never was. I just needed time.”
“I know baby.” His lips collide with my own, his hand scoping the back of my neck as he holds it gently, combing his fingers through my hair with his free hand. The kiss is desperate and hungry, but also slow and passionate.
It’s everything I knew it would be.
The feeling of his lips on mine linger even when he pulls apart, laughing at the gagging behind him that belongs to my younger siblings.
I stand cleaning the dishes with my mom and Buck after lunch, Thayne and my dad sit in the living room with Ebony. They all laugh about something that floods into the hallway. I’m relieved that my dad and him get on so well.
Up until Thayne, I believed that no one I dated would ever be good enough for me in my dad’s eyes. For some reason, he always thought I deserved better. But hearing the two of them laugh in the other room fills me with happiness.
I’m finally happy.
My mom loves Thayne already. I’m pretty sure she decided on that at the baby shower.
“Is dessert ready yet?” Buck sighs.
“Not yet. Go and grab the empty glasses from the table.” With a huge huff, my brother reminds me just how fast he’s growing up. The unsettling feeling lingers in the pit of my stomach when he returns with them, planting a kiss on mom’s cheek as he does.
“Are you going back with Thayne?” Buck asks me as he reaches up on his tip-toes, kissing my cheek as well. I’m hesitant to answer at first.
“Because I like him. A lot more than Elijah.”
My mom chuckles as she empties the sink, grabbing another dishcloth. “God Em, you’ve never been quick at drying the dishes, have you?”
I roll my eyes before turning back to Buck. “I think I might go back with him. Is that okay?”
“It’s perfectly okay.” Mom smiles reassuringly.
“Yeah.” Buck nods. “We just want you to be happy.”
I glance through the door at Thayne and nod. “I am.”