46. Fighting For Us
FIGHTING FOR US
WILL
After I showered, I’d lain down on the bed around midnight with the intention of reading one chapter and then giving in to the jet lag.
Instead, I’d pored over her words for hours.
She’s put our entire story into this book, leaving nothing out.
Every thought and feeling she’d had in the lead up to her leaving and the years after she disappeared is here for me to see.
It’s like reading her diary, and I’d feel bad about it if I didn’t know that she’d left it, expecting I’d devour every word.
It’s obviously a rough draft, full of errors and missing words, but that just makes the emotion behind it feel even more real. More raw.
I’d wanted to understand what was going through her head when she left, and although she’d told me when I asked, reading these words now… My heart hurts knowing just how much pain she was in. How much she’d kept hidden from me.
But it’s the final chapters that give me hope. The character in her story has seemingly abandoned the love interest once more, only for him to discover she’d gone to pack up her old life and was returning to him. The subtext is glaringly obvious, and relief floods through me.
It’s after six-thirty in the morning by the time I finish, and my mind is reeling too much to be able to fall asleep now. Remembering that Mary had said the opening times for breakfast was seven, I head down and order the full English breakfast, suddenly ravenous after my night of reading.
I’d seen Annie do that countless times over the years, but had never understood the drive to keep reading when you’re barely able to keep your eyes open.
I get it now, though. You just need to be really invested in the story.
When I’m done, I glance at my watch, deciding it’s late enough for me to go knock on her door. I wonder if she’s had an equally sleepless night, stressing over how I’d feel when I read her words.
Twenty minutes later, I stand outside the address that Tara had given me, looking up at the terrace house that must have been split into two apartments. It’s a nice street, filled with identical terrace houses that line either side of the street.
I’m glad that I hadn’t come here first before reading her words, as I would have surely worried that I had nothing to offer her when this is the sort of place she’s been living in without me.
Instead, I take the steps two at a time and knock on the door with a gold number one nailed to it.
A few moments later, I hear someone making their way towards the door, and hope I’ve got the right place. It can be a little hard to tell when every house looks the same.
A blond guy opens the door, and I look at the number again, confirming this is definitely the address Tara gave me.
“Um, hi. Does Annelisa live here?” I ask, wondering who this guy is .
“Yes. Oi, Lisa, there’s someone here for you!
” he hollers in a very thick British accent over his shoulder before turning towards me again.
“Sorry, mate, I was just on my way to work,” he says, nodding for me to step aside.
I move out of his way and he steps out before waving me inside.
“I’m guessing you’re the ex? Hope it goes okay for you in there, mate. ”
I don’t know if he’s using the word mate a lot because he knows I’m Australian or if that is just how he talks, but I nod and he wanders off down the street, whistling to himself.
I turn back to the door and see Annie standing at other end of the hallway, watching me closely.
“Hi,” she whispers as I close the door behind me.
“Hi,” I reply, my mind suddenly going blank.
I’d been trying to work out what to say to her, and thought I’d come up with the right words, but now, seeing her standing in the apartment she’s made a life in without me… nothing seems like it would be right.
“What are you doing in London, Will?” she asks after a moment, swaying slightly before placing a hand against the wall to steady herself.
I close the distance between us in two large steps, stopping so close that she has to look up to meet my gaze.
“Something I should have done seven years ago. I’m fighting for us,” I reply, using a finger to tilt her chin to keep her eyes on mine.
She scans my face for a moment. “Did you get the folder I left for you?” I nod, unable to find the words to say anything more. “And? Did you read it?”
I nod again, this time forcing the words to get past the lump in my throat. “Every single word.”
Her eyes widen. “You read all night? You never do that.”
I smile. “Turns out, I just never picked up the right book.”
Her expression shifts as her shoulders lower slightly, and I can see tears forming in her eyes. “And… What did you think? ”
I slide my hand further up to cradle her cheek, and she leans into it.
“I think I love you even more now than I did seven years ago.” She bites her lip as a tear spills over and slides down her cheek until I wipe it away with my thumb.
“How come you never told me any of that stuff these past few weeks?”
“Because I’ve always been better with the written word than telling people how I feel.”
Knowing that’s true, I nod while I continue to stroke her cheek with my thumb. “Is everything you wrote true? That’s how you really feel? Now, I mean?”
She nods. “Yes,” she whispers. And then she says the words I’ve been waiting to hear once more for seven years. “I love you. I always have. I wasn’t running away this time, I swear.”
Hope floods through me while I scan her face. “So the ending… You were really coming back here to pack up everything and come home?”
She reaches to stroke my cheek while she nods. “Yes,” she says, her voice cracking.
Unable to hold myself back any longer, I bring my lips to hers, pulling her in closer while I kiss her like she’s the cure for all my ails.
She sinks into the kiss, a little sigh escaping her lips as she wraps her arms around me, erasing all space between our bodies.
When this no longer feels like enough, I lift her off the ground, and she wraps her legs around my hips while I push her back against the wall, kissing my way down her neck as she lets out a little laugh.
“My other flatmate is still here. She’s just in the shower,” she says, sounding breathless.
I pull back slightly to look at her. “Well, I guess you’d better tell me where your bedroom is then, cause there are about a thousand things I want to do to you right now, and none of them include an audience.”
She grins. “Second door on the right.”
“Good. Hold on.” She clings to me while I walk us down the hall, planting a kiss below my ear. “Careful now. I don’t want to drop you.”
Her laugh against my skin sends a shiver down my spine. “I trust you not to let me fall.”
I make it into her room and kick the door shut behind me as my lips return to hers. She pulls herself even closer, squeezing her thighs while she runs a hand through my hair.
When I lower her down to sit on the edge of the bed, my eyes fall to the stack of boxes against the wall. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see moving boxes in my life.”
“Less talking, more kissing please,” she replies, reaching forward to lift my shirt.
I raise an eyebrow. “And that requires me removing my shirt?” I tease.
“No. It requires you being completely naked,” she says with a grin, shrugging. “I didn’t make the rules, I just follow them.”
I laugh and reach back to pull the shirt over my head with one hand, smirking when her eyes flare.
“You really know how to play to your strengths, don’t you? You know there are two things you do that make me want to climb you like a tree,” she says, swinging her legs around and raising onto her knees to wrap her arms around my neck.
“That I do. Take my shirt off one handed, and put my hand on the passenger headrest when I’m reversing. You’re so predictable,” I say with a grin before pressing my lips to the side of her neck.
“And you love it,” she says, arching her back.
“I love you,” I say.
“I love you, too. Now… I really need you to stop being a gentleman and have your way with me, fast. I’ve had an entire night of building this up in my head, and I’m likely to explode if you take much longer.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I reply, yanking her pyjama top over her head before grabbing the back of her legs and flipping her onto her back.
She lets out a shocked little laugh, smiling as she watches me kick my jeans and boxers off before bending to plant a kiss on her abdomen while I pull her pyjama bottoms and underwear off.
Lowering myself to cover her body, I begin kissing my way down her neck until I reach her breasts.
Running my tongue over one nipple, I pinch the other between my fingers and she lets out a breathy moan, rolling her head to the side.
I alternate between breasts for a while, sucking and nipping in all the places I know drive her crazy.
Eventually, I allow my hand to drift further south until I reach her clit.
She gasps when I circle it with my finger, before moving lower still.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you were ready to go,” I murmur against her skin, sliding my finger in and out of her while applying pressure to her clit with my thumb.
“Will,” she moans. “Please.”
Deciding to give her what she needs without tormenting her any longer, I move my hand faster, following her body’s cues until she comes, her hand covering her mouth to smother her cries.
So much of my past is tied to this woman, and as I watch her float back down to earth, my heart stutters when I realise that she’s my future as well.