Chapter 6
SIX
LEE
“When did you meet my daddy?” Bennie asked Stella around a mouthful of mushroom pizza.
Stella’s mouth curved in a wistful smile when she found my gaze.
“A long time ago. We were kids,” Stella told Bennie.
“A kid like me?” Bennie’s brows drew together.
“A little older, baby girl,” I said. “We were all teenagers in high school when I met Stella and her brother.”
“Oh,” Bennie said, nodding as she took a chomp out of her pizza, holding it by the crust with both hands. “I’m only friends with one of the boys in my class. The rest are all gross.”
I chuckled at the disgusted crinkle in her nose.
“Boys can be gross.” Stella nodded. “My big brother was super gross when we were little. He once tried to eat oatmeal with his hands,” Stella said in a loud whisper.
“His hands?” Bennie’s brows climbed up to her forehead.
“I never knew that.” I had to laugh. “How old was he?”
“Old enough that it was ridiculous,” she said on a sigh. “My mother wasn’t moving fast enough, and back then, peanut butter oatmeal was his favorite thing.” She shook her head. “It hadn’t occurred to him to get up from the table and grab a spoon from the drawer, so he dug his hand into the bowl.”
“But oatmeal is hot. I have to use a big spoon and blow on it first,” Bennie said, her eyes still wide and fascinated. “Did he get into trouble?”
“Yes. Luckily, our mom caught him before it glopped all over his school uniform and made us late. My mom was furious, and my dad couldn’t stop laughing.”
Bennie giggled, giving Stella a wide grin even though her mouth was full.
“I hope he’s not doing that overseas,” I joked.
“No,” Stella said on a laugh. “When I visited the last time, he was a master with chopsticks. My nephew tried to show me the right way, but I kept fumbling.” She pursed her lips at Bennie. “So I just used a fork.”
“Grown-up boys aren’t so gross. Like Nate.”
Stella bit back a smile.
“I know all the players, but Nate is the best one,” Bennie went on. “He found a whistle so I can help the team practice, and he gave me his jersey.”
Stella’s lips twitched as my daughter straightened in her seat.
“His jersey, huh? Sounds official,” Stella said, arching a brow.
“Well, not the jersey he wears at the game.” Bennie put down her pizza. “He told me he has copies, and since I was his girl, I could have one.”
I covered my eyes when Stella burst out laughing.
“Well, that’s very nice of Nate,” Stella said.
“That is more official than he usually is with women,” I said, standing to pick up the pizza box off the table. “But remember, you’re my girl first.” I bent to kiss the top of Bennie’s head.
“Of course, Daddy,” Bennie said, her tiny fingers grasping the hem of my T-shirt. “Don’t be sad. I have time for both of you.”
A laugh escaped me before I could help it.
“Thank you, I appreciate that.” I pointed to the pizza on her plate. “Eat.”
Bennie was a slow eater, but she’d been too busy chewing Stella’s ear off to chew on her dinner, working on the same slice for the past twenty minutes. I’d let her ramble, relieved that she’d taken to Stella so well.
Bennie knew her aunt and uncle were moving away and that her grandmother would be close but not live in our house anymore, but it hadn’t sunk in yet. I hoped the novelty of Stella moving in with us would distract her from missing them too much, at least at the beginning.
It was distracting me already.
All I could think about was that asshole shoving his fist into Stella’s face and what could have happened to her if her neighbors hadn’t called the police. I meant what I’d said; I would have flown out to Ohio without hesitation to help her so she wouldn’t have had to go through all that alone.
She’d be safe here. We had nosy neighbors too, but in a good way, and they’d watch over them both while I was on the road with the Bats. Stella moving in with us was an unexpected but perfect—at least for the moment—solution for both of us.
The only snag was that moment between us after she’d told me what her ex had done, when I was out of my seat and kneeling in front of her before I knew what I was doing.
We had a lot of history that had bonded us together, but this was different.
It was more than history that had drawn me to her, to the point that across the table hadn’t been close enough.
I couldn’t get the way she’d looked back at me out of my head. Her golden eyes, wide and glossy as they held mine, giving away all that shame and fear she’d tried to brush off with her words.
My gaze had landed on her mouth again, and pressing my lips to hers to make it all better had been an intrusive but potent thought.
One that had confused me ever since.
After Bennie finally finished one slice of pizza, she jumped out of her seat and yanked Stella’s hand until she stood.
“Want to see my room?” Bennie asked.
“Absolutely,” she said, almost stumbling as Bennie pulled her toward the staircase.
“Easy. Let’s not make Stella fall,” I called after her as she stomped up the stairs.
“Wow,” Stella said as she stepped inside. “I love it. I’m guessing you like pink,” she said as she looked over her shoulder at Bennie.
“I love pink. And purple since that’s the Bats’ color,” she said, pointing to Nate’s jersey hanging on the doorknob.
My family had painted every inch of Bennie’s room pink when we’d moved in to match her old room in our apartment, even finding matching molding and new pink lamps.
When we’d had to switch her from a toddler bed to a twin, she’d insisted on a pink headboard.
The entire room looked like it had been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol, but my daughter loved it and requested more pink every day.
“This was Debbie’s old room,” I said, coming up behind them. “The stars on the ceiling that we couldn’t peel off still glow.”
“Yes, it’s so cool,” my daughter gushed as she rummaged through one of the drawers in her toy box.
“Can I give you a makeover, Stella?” Bennie asked, her hands clasped under her chin.
“The Bennet Orrico makeover is a rite of passage here,” I told Stella. “I’ve had a few.”
“His hair is too short for any clips.” Bennie peered up at me, tapping her chin. “But your hair is longer now, so maybe I could—”
“Focus on Stella,” I said, sneaking Stella a grin. “You can always make me over.”
“Okay, sit,” Bennie said, pointing to the floor.
“She means business,” Stella quipped as she settled herself onto the carpet and crossed her legs under her.
“You should see her at Bats’ practice,” I scoffed.
“Your hair is so long and beautiful,” Bennie said with a gasp, taking a piece between her fingers. “A hair tie will ruin it.”
I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms as Bennie fussed over Stella.
When I’d first met Stella in the group, her hair had been even longer.
It had fallen in front of her face like a shield she was hiding behind.
Now, it cascaded down her back in waves, almost reaching her waist as Bennie made her tip her head back.
Beautiful, just like my daughter had said.
“A headband would be better,” Bennie said, pulling me out of my memories as she searched through the drawer.
“Okay, I found three,” she finally said, breathless. More hair fell out of her ponytail, making us both laugh as she blew it out of her eyes.
“I found two with flowers and one with bows. I didn’t know which one would look the best, so I took them all.” Bennie plopped herself next to Stella on the floor and set the headbands in front of her.
“Turn around. We have a lot to do.”
“Turn around, please,” I prompted, arching a brow when she lifted her head.
“Sorry, Daddy. Please, Stella, turn around.”
Stella swiveled around so Bennie could set one of the headbands on Stella’s head. Petals from the large flowers drooped over it, probably from being handled so much and living at the bottom of my daughter’s messy drawer.
“Look, you’re so pretty!”
Stella craned her neck to me, holding the headband in place.
“I can’t see it. How does it look?” Stella’s smile was wide and genuine, as if she enjoyed Bennie’s beauty torture, her light eyes shining as they found mine.
“Great,” I said with a rasp, clearing my throat as soon as I caught it.
My mother was right; Stella had been pretty all her life, and now she was breathtaking. And watching her light up while playing with my daughter got me right in the chest like a sucker punch.
“I’ll let you ladies get to it. If anyone needs me, I’ll be cleaning up.”
“Bye, Daddy,” Bennie said without looking back. Stella gave me a smile and a shrug as Bennie switched the headband off Stella’s head for another one.
I trudged down the stairs, my legs heavy, and I couldn’t take in a full breath, the usual angry knot coiling in my stomach when the what-ifs would run through my brain.
Katie was missing all of this. She hadn’t known our daughter as anything more than a toddler, and there was so much more to Bennie now. They’d both missed out on each other, and I hated that with every cell in my body.
But my daughter didn’t know any better. She’d laugh and play with her aunt and a new friend, and she’d never felt like she missed out on anything because she didn’t remember having a mother.
I both hated that she didn’t feel Katie’s loss now and how it would hit her when she grew older and needed her mother.
My father had been my best friend, and losing him had devastated me enough to never be fully over it, but I’d still welcome the memories that would hit me at random moments.
They’d snuck in when I’d taught my daughter how to tie her shoes like he’d patiently shown me, or when a young son and father at the stadium reminded me of us at all those Yankees games.
They’d hurt at first, but they were gifts, immortal pieces of the man who would always be painful to miss.
Bennie had none of that. She had been spared the pain of losing her mother but was also cheated of the joy of remembering her.
It both relieved and infuriated me.