Chapter 11 Stella
ELEVEN
STELLA
“Come on, Bennie. You’ve been eating that waffle for the past fifteen minutes. What do you say we get ready for school?”
Bennie let out a defeated sigh, her shoulders drooping as she pushed away from the table. This girl was so dramatic, and I already loved her for it.
“Maybe I should stay with you today.”
“Are you feeling okay?” I smoothed her hair off her forehead, trying to feel if she was warm. I hadn’t planned on a sick kid on my first day, but I pushed a smile across my lips to hide the panic churning in my stomach.
“In case you get confused and you want me to show you how to work stuff.” She draped her hand over mine, her crystal-blue eyes narrowed. “I should stay home and help you.”
I laughed, relieved for the moment. She was a cute little conniver.
“Daddy already showed me how to work everything. You can help me with anything he forgot when you come home.”
Her mouth twisted as she squinted up at me.
“Are you sure you want to take that chance?”
“I’ll be fine, kiddo,” I told her, trying and failing to hold back a laugh. “But I appreciate your offer to help.” I led her over to the stairs. “You don’t want me to get in trouble with your dad if I let you stay home when you’re not sick, right?”
“Right,” Bennie said, letting go of another deep sigh as she trudged up the stairs.
“Do you know how to do braids?” she asked me as she stomped up the stairs. “Aunt Deb could make me a braid ponytail.”
“I do. I had to do something with all this hair, right?”
She laughed when I flipped my hair over my shoulder.
“I know how to do all kinds too, but today, I’ll keep it simple. Save the complicated braids for makeover night.”
I gathered Bennie’s school uniform as she brushed her teeth. I’d gotten up extra early to go over everything Lee had told me so our first morning would go off without a hitch, and so far, it was going well.
Other than whatever had been going on with Lee before he left.
Something had felt off, and I’d tried to believe him when he said that he was just prepping for the road trip. He seemed to be in a rush to leave, but then I almost had to push him out the door.
I wanted to prove to him that he had nothing to worry about while he was away, and I’d taken the odd vibes from him this morning as doubts.
“Okay, Stella! I’m clean and ready for my braid now.”
I flicked my wrist to check my watch before grabbing a brush. School was a fifteen-minute walk away, and we had a little less than an hour before she had to be there—just enough time to show off a little.
I made two side braids and twisted them into a high ponytail. This had been my mother’s go-to hairstyle for me as a kid, fancy enough to satisfy me and keep my hair out of my face for most of the day.
“How’s this?” I asked Bennie as I turned her toward the mirror.
She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.
“Good?” I asked her, hoping that was a good gasp since I didn’t have a lot of time to undo it.
“This is so perfect. Everyone is going to want my braids.” My heart swelled when she turned her head back and forth. “Can we do this every day?”
“If you get up early enough and actually eat your breakfast.” I helped her button her shirt and slide her plaid jumper over her head.
“This is going to be so great,” she whispered, filling me with almost enough relief to quiet the nerves that had gotten me up before sunrise.
Crafting decent braids didn’t make me a nanny expert, but I’d gladly take the good start and soak in any praise I could get.
“Did Daddy tell you what time I get out?” Bennie asked me as we approached the school doors.
“Yes, 2:25.” I crouched in front of her. “And I will be right here waiting for you.” I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. “How about a selfie? I’ll send it to your dad and let him know that we got to school on time with no problems.”
Bennie looped her arm around my neck as I snapped our picture.
“Daddy gets lonely without me. He would like a picture of me.”
How could Lee think he was a terrible father? Bennie knew beyond any doubt that she was loved, no matter what tragic history she had or how terrible Lee felt for all the recent changes in her life. Maybe I could help him see that while I was here.
I gave her a quick hug before she hustled inside, sending Lee the photo even though he hadn’t landed yet.
I wasn’t sure if proving myself as a good babysitter or my need to please Lee in general had made me a needy validation sponge, but I’d try not to focus on any of my chronic issues on my first day.
“Hey, Stella, is it?”
I turned to a pretty blond woman, beaming at me as if we were old friends.
I’d worn yoga pants and a zip-up hoodie to take Bennie to school, but this woman’s outfit was more athleisure than sweats.
Her hair and makeup were perfect despite the early hour, her full pink lips turned up as she came closer.
“I’m Lorraine. My daughter is in the same class as Bennie,” she said, holding out her French-manicured hand. “Lee said that a friend of his would be taking care of Bennie for the season while he was on the road.”
“Nice to meet you, Lorraine,” I said, taking her hand. “This is my first official day.”
“Glad to see it went well,” she said, her smile wide but a little saccharine. Maybe I was just jealous that she looked like she’d walked out of a magazine, while I dressed like I was hitting the gym after drop-off.
“Me too. Bennie is an amazing kid.”
“She is. I keep asking Lee to schedule a playdate with my Flora, but that poor man is always working.”
“He’s very busy with the team,” I said.
Debbie had been Bennie’s usual babysitter and had only worked part time while Bennie was in school, so why couldn’t Lorraine just ask her for a playdate?
When Lorraine glanced up and down my body as if she were sizing me up, I had my probable answer.
“I’m glad you were able to help him. I know the last time he picked up Bennie from school, he said that he didn’t know what his sister’s moving away meant as far as staying with the Bats, but I’m glad he worked things out. Be such a shame for them to move.”
I fought an eye roll. A hot single widowed dad with a little girl had to be catnip for single moms or anyone who saw Lee with his daughter. I’d located that viral shot he’d told me about of him holding Bennie, his biceps straining against the sleeves of his polo shirt as he cradled her close.
I’d saved it to my phone for the cuteness of the photo—and maybe the raw daddy sex appeal, but only a little. At least that’s what I told myself whenever I’d pull it up on my screen.
I wondered if he knew the hot commodity he was for women…or if he did know and indulged. My gut said no since he still held on to a ton of grief and guilt over losing Katie.
But Lee was also human with basic needs, if he ever stopped beating himself up to notice them.
I would bet Lorraine would happily help him with any voids he needed to fill, playdates or otherwise.
Why did that bother me?
I knew why, and that reason had never done me any good back when Lee had fallen in love with Katie, and it definitely wouldn’t help now.
I’d made a promise to myself to move on from this lifelong Lee affliction, and getting pissed at whatever his personal life was or could be was more wasted time. I had a job to do and an obligation to fulfill. Who Lee played with was none of my concern.
“I’ll talk to Bennie after pickup about a playdate, so you don’t have to worry about when Lee is home. It was great to meet you.”
“Oh, no worries. I can ask Lee when I see him again. And yes, same.” Her smile was tight as she shifted away.
I hid my grin while I turned up the block. I wasn’t anything to Lee other than a friend and babysitter, but throwing in the word home, reminding her that I was living with Lee, regardless of our status, gave me a triumphant pep in my step as I headed back to Lee’s house.
My phone buzzed in my purse while I climbed up the outside steps.
Lee
Nice shot, even though you already set me up for failure. I can barely do a ponytail, never mind a twisty braid thing like that.
Stella
It’s not that complicated. I could teach you if you want to learn.
Stella
Everything went well, other than Bennie offering to stay home and help me in case you forgot to show me anything.
Lee
My girl is always thinking a step ahead. And I had no doubt that it would go well. I really appreciate this.
Stella
What did I say about thanking me again?
Lee
Easy, tiger. Just saying.
Stella
You landed super early.
Lee
No, I just activated the plane Wi-Fi. In case you needed something.
Stella
So this is the confidence both of you had in me? That I’d forget stuff on my first morning.
Lee
No, not at all. I wanted to be available in case there was something I forgot to tell you. Bennie wasn’t all wrong.
Stella
Bennie said she’s sad because you’re lonely without her. She thinks that because you’re an incredible dad.
Lee
I’ll try to take your word for it.
Stella
I met Lorraine this morning. I felt like she was looking me over a little.
Lee
Good, maybe she’ll try to make a playdate with you instead.
My wide grin made my cheeks ache.
Stella
I offered. She didn’t seem interested. I can’t wait to meet all the other mothers waiting to play with you.
Lee
Cute. But she’s the only one.
Stella
That you know of. Come on, you’re single mom catnip.
Lee
Am I now?
Stella
You have a mirror. Although, considering the messy beard and long hair, maybe you don’t look in it much.
Lee
Ouch, way to butter me up and then hit below the belt. Maybe this is the look I’m going for. Messy enough to be sexy so I can go viral like Silas and not have to work.
Two women walking down the block craned their necks around when I burst out laughing.
Stella
I did find that viral shot, Dr. DILF. Dreams can come true.
Just not any of mine.
I leaned against the railing, let down from the little high. I could have dreams; I just had to redirect them.
After having them fixate on one thing, or one man, for so long, that would take time. Especially when, for the next few months, I’d live in said man’s house and be entwined in his life.
Lee
Well, enjoy it, I guess.
Stella
Have a safe rest of the flight. Sorry for texting so early.
Lee
I told you. Text all you want. Anytime about anything.
I stuffed my phone back in my bag. Maybe I’d go for a long walk and explore the neighborhood before I had to get Bennie from school. The less time I had to stay alone in a space that felt and smelled like Lee, the more I could work on redirecting or, at least, distracting.
“Stella!”
I recognized Diane’s voice as she waved from the bottom of the stoop.
“Sorry for the intrusion,” she said, holding up a plastic container of what looked like some kind of baked good. “I wanted to stop by and introduce you to my husband, Jimmy.”
I made my way back down the stairs, smiling at them both, although Jimmy’s mouth didn’t move. As boisterous as his wife was, Jimmy stood and stared, his scrutiny more obvious without Diane’s bubbly chatter.
He wore a black jogging suit, his salt-and-pepper hair buzzed on the sides with the top slicked back, his dark eyes focused on mine.
“Nice to meet you.” I offered my hand.
“Nice to meet you too,” he said, his voice low but softer than I expected it to be.
“I tried to time it right for when you’d be back from school if you didn’t make any stops. I made some blueberry muffins and thought you could use the extra for breakfast this week. Bennie loves my muffins.”
“That sounds amazing. Thank you,” I said, taking the still-warm container from her hands. If she brought food every time she wanted to spy on me, I was all for it. The poor lady would be disappointed by the lack of juicy stuff to watch.
“Listen,” Jimmy said, bending as he leaned closer. “Lee told me about the trouble you had. I want you to know that nothing gets past me on this block. I’ll make sure when Lee’s not around, no one bothers you. Okay?”
His tone was both menacing yet comforting, like a big teddy bear letting out a growl.
“Oh,” I managed to say, caught off guard both by their surprise visit and what Jimmy had said. I’d have to ask Lee what exactly he’d told them about my “trouble.”
“Thank you,” I said, a little breathless. “For the muffins and for…that. Nothing should happen, but I appreciate it.”
“Of course nothing will happen,” Diane said, patting my shoulder. “Enjoy these and let us know if you need anything else.”
“Anything,” Jimmy repeated, pointing his finger at me before Diane pulled him away. “Come see me at the shop.”
Jimmy reminded me of my uncles on my mother’s side, who always “knew a guy” and would say “don’t worry about it” after they did you a favor.
Life had taken a huge and weird shift over the last couple of months. I’d gone from living off room service and rest stops to fresh muffins from my new neighbors. Or Lee’s neighbors, as this was an extended stay, not home.
But as strange as it still seemed, it felt like exactly where I was supposed to be.