Chapter 10
ten
. . .
Saturday
One of the perks of having a long distance friend with benefits is not having to worry about morning breath.
Even though I do occasionally miss the feeling of waking up snuggled in someone’s arms, it’s still nice to be greeted by Lucien’s face.
There’s nothing better than a good pixelated embrace to start my day.
Intimacy and technology are the two things I never thought would pair well together, and now I’m eating my words. Even though all I can hear is his soft breathing and the gentle rustling of his sheets, his presence is more than enough.
He’s all the way across the country and yet I still feel so connected to him, the perfect blend of distance and closeness. I don’t think many people understand how much of a blessing it is to have long-distance friendships. For the most part, I speak to my gaming friends more than my local ones.
At some point, though, the game became secondary.
I’d get online and smile when I saw their usernames pop up.
Over time, I found myself logging on just to hear their voices.
Since meeting in college, the three of us have always had an intense connection, even when no romantic feelings were involved at the start—just playful banter.
But after my breakup, things changed. Even with their busy careers, Kaelum and Lucien were there for me in dark times.
They listened to me cry at night and to all my venting.
They knew gaming for me was no longer just a hobby, but also a coping mechanism.
Quiet, lonely nights in my room turned into chaotic, exciting conversations and virtual hangouts.
I started laughing and having fun again.
They encouraged and supported me in my journey of healing and reinventing myself. The best friends I’ve ever had lived all the way across the country, yet they were always there, cheering me on. Even though they always made sure to respect our friendship, over time we became closer.
Friendly flirting turned into real flirting. Compliments turned into real attraction.
I’ve had a feeling over the last few months that things were slightly different than before, but it wasn’t until exploring with Lucien that I realized beneath the playful banter…real feelings could be there.
With a quiet yawn, I stretch out my arms and grab my glasses from the nightstand. He’s still sound asleep, so I put myself on mute and make my way to the kitchen.
“Morning,” Jasmine says energetically, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
“Morning,” I reply, placing my phone onto the counter face down.
She gestures to it with a slight nod. “The two of them still snoozing away?”
“Just Lucien.”
A devious smirk plays at the corner of her lips. “Late night?” she accuses, wiggling her brows.
“Very.”
She grabs a mug from the cabinet and fills it with coffee, sliding it across the kitchen island. “Any new exciting updates?”
“Oh, nothing too exciting or anything,” I reply playfully.
“Oh my god. You liar,” she whispers, frantically eyeing my phone.
“I’m muted.”
“Fuck this coffee. I want some tea to start my morning off right.”
Rolling my eyes, I hop on the stool and take a small sip of my coffee when, unexpectedly, my phone pings. I pick it up and swipe the video call off to the side, then open the new text message from Kaelum.
Kaelum
Missed you last night
Me
I missed you too
Kaelum
You two lovebirds were in a private call, weren’t you?
Shifting in my seat, I take in a small breath, my eyes darting to the minimized square of my video call with Lucien. I don’t know how much to divulge to Kaelum about what’s going on with Lucien and I. At this point, I’m not even fully sure.
There are definitely feelings present for Lucien.
Looking back at the last year, I guess it’s safe to say I’ve always kind of had a thing for him, I was just too nervous to admit it to myself.
It’s also safe to say that beneath the flirty, playful banter with Kaelum, I’ve had some underlying feelings for him, too.
Having a crush on two people at once isn’t something I’m used to.
All I know is that it feels weird to lie to him.
Me
I’m not sure how to explain
Kaelum
Don't feel weird about it or anything
I passed out right after the stream at my desk
Me
You goober
I figured that's what happened when I didn’t hear from you
“Kaelum is so sweet,” I tell Jasmine, setting my phone back on the counter.
“Yeah, he really is. Now back to Lucien,” Jasmine says impatiently.
“He controlled the sex toy he got for me while he was streaming,” I tell her abruptly.
“Oh my fucking god!”
“I know! It was amazing,” I exclaim. “Then, afterwards, I asked him how many spicy phone sessions he had booked for this weekend, just to get an idea.”
“What did he say?” she begs.
“None. He canceled them.”
“Called it!” she exclaims, slamming her fist on the counter and smiling from ear to ear.
“That’s not all, though...” I announce, the suspense nearly killing me.
Her eyes widen with anticipation.
“He told me during all the sessions with me, he’s never acted on it,” I tell her. “Until last night.”
She softly screeches, jaw dropped. “He did it with you?”
“Yeah, and it was hot as hell. I was dying.”
“Fuck yes! See! I fucking told you. He’s down bad for you, Nor.”
“I mean I wouldn’t go that far,” I reply nonchalantly.
“Whatever, babe,” she sighs. “Live in delulu land all you want, but it’s obvious he’s waiting for the green light from you.”
“Green light for what?”
“To make shit real.”
Pondering what she said, I wrap my hand around my mug, admiring the warmth. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to make things awkward.”
“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. He’s probably just being respectful and waiting for you to make the first move,” she points out.
“Maybe,” I murmur, the steam from the coffee fogging up my glasses briefly. “I hate looking stupid. I’m conflicted.”
“You like him. Don’t you?”
Without saying a word, I nod.
“Good. He’ll be blowing your back out soon enough!”
“You’re insane,” I laugh, scooting back from the counter.
“Yeah, yeah.”
My phone pings, and my heart leaps. A smile claims my face as I glance down at the screen
Kaelum
I want you to be happy
Me
You’re sweet
I want you to be happy, too
Kaelum
Gonna shower now
Enjoy Luce’s snoring
Me
Talk later!
“I have to get ready for work,” I say dismissively, clenching my thighs as I walk away.
Shit. I hope she’s right.
Lucien still appears to be sleeping when I enter the bathroom.
Placing my phone on the bathroom vanity, I pull my shirt over my head and start up the shower.
The hot water feels warm on my skin and I let myself get lost in the steam.
Once I’m finished washing my hair, the feeling of the soap slick on my skin makes my gaze lock on the showerhead.
The detachable showerhead. How brutally tempting.
Ha.
No.
Don’t you fucking dare, Nora. Stop thinking about what Jasmine mentioned earlier. Lucien will not be blowing your back out, at least not anytime soon. An unsteady bookshelf falling onto me at work would be a more likely cause of a back injury.
“Mmm,” Lucien says sleepily, his voice soft and raspy.
Wrapping a towel around myself, I grin. “Good morning,” I say, ensuring the screen of my phone is face down.
“Morning, love.”
Why are some men’s sleepy voices so damn attractive?
“You sound very awake,” he notes.
“Someone called out, so I picked up a shift,” I explain, running a brush through my hair.
“Mm. You get your iced coffee yet?”
“Jasmine made some hot coffee.”
“But you hate hot coffee,” he declares.
“Saving money, I guess.”
He chuckles. “It’ll be there in fifteen.”
“Lucien!” I playfully scold, fighting a laugh. “You keep buying me coffees.”
“Bare minimum, Nora,” he chuckles. “Let me spend my money on you.”
“Crazy.”
“For you,” he adds.
“Thanks, Luce.”
“You were in my dream.”
“Oh?” I ask, arching a brow.
“You were on the back of my bike. I can still feel how tight your arms were wrapped around me,” he explains with a contented sigh. “It was nice.”
“That sounds really nice.”
“I’ll let you finish getting ready,” he says, sitting upright in bed and rubbing his eyes. “Kae and I are filming some videos today.”
“Biker ones, I hope?” I inquire. “Give the people what they’ve been begging for.”
“Yeah. Everyone seems to go crazy for the silly, dancing biker vids these days.”
“Your last ones went viral,” I point out. “Got you guys a ton of new followers.”
“True.”
“Be safe.”
“Always. Have a good day, love. Call me after?”
“Sounds good.”
With a smile, I end the call, imagining myself on the back of Lucien’s bike.