Chapter 12
twelve
. . .
There’s not a second that’s gone by where I haven’t thought about our last text exchange. Jasmine says it’s because I’m a horny little bitch, and although she might have a valid point, I think it’s deeper than that. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this good. Happy is an understatement.
I feel alive.
Even if this goes absolutely nowhere, or doesn’t end well at all, I’m ready. Fear is no longer in the back of my mind. Exploring feels incredible. It’s freeing and healing. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities in life because I was afraid of the unknown.
It’s always held me back, and for once, I’m finally learning to let go.
As soon as I get to my apartment, I shoot Lucien a quick text that I’m home.
The sun is setting outside my window, creating a warm and welcoming ambiance in my bedroom.
Ready for a shower, I take off my glasses and set them onto my antique, wooden dresser beside my bed, catching my reflection in the matching mirror. Damn, I’m glowing.
Who knew giving up control could be so much fun?
Once I’m finished drying myself off after my shower, I put on some comfy pjs and hop into bed. As soon as I open my laptop, my phone begins to ring.
“Hi, Luce,” I answer happily.
“Hi, love. Did you have a good rest of your day?” he asks.
“Yeah, it was good. Glad I have tomorrow off, though.”
“Mmm.”
“How about you? How was your day?” I ask.
“It was good,” he replies softly, letting out a short lived laugh. “Kaelum cracks me up. He had me learn those dances with him in the parking lot for over four hours.”
“All for the content,” I laugh back.
“We have four other videos we can post, which is nice.”
Draping a blanket over my shoulders, I lie down, putting the phone on speaker and placing it beside me on the bed. “That’s awesome.”
“Yup.”
Small talk. That’s exactly what this is. It’s like we’re both avoiding the elephant in the room. Undeniable sexual tension, and maybe, just maybe, some slight feels.
“Hey, Nora?” he questions, his voice trailing off.
Without wasting another second, I beat him to the chase.
“There’s something going on between us, isn’t there?” I ask.
“Without a doubt,” he offers immediately.
Taking in a long breath, I snuggle deeper into my blanket. “Platonic,” I lie.
“At first, yeah,” he answers. “But now, I’m not so sure.”
“Me, either,” I admit.
“I can’t stop fucking thinking about you,” he reveals. “No matter how much I try, I can’t get you out of my head. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and my last thought before bed.”
Time seems to slow, and a part of me wonders if I’m suddenly floating above my bed. Hearing him say that leaves me ecstatic. With a racing heart, my lips part in an attempt to speak, but it’s a struggle to find the right words.
What are words, again?
I grin cheekily.
“Fuck, I like you,” he lets out, his voice raspy and sharp. “Really like you. I want you, in every sense of the word. Should I shut up?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “Keep telling me how you feel.”
“You sure about that, princess?” he asks, carefully. “Because once I do, there’s no going back.”
“I don’t want to go back,” I say sincerely. “Tell me you want me again.”
“I fucking want you, Nora. Hell, I want to do things to your body that have never been done before. I don’t want to go another second without knowing what it’s like to have the taste of you on my tongue.”
My breathing hitches, and my body tingles. He has a way with words. I’m enjoying every second of his dirty, romantic mouth.
“I know I probably sound like a psychopath, but baby, I need you the same way fire needs oxygen… the way stars need gravity. I’m fucking orbiting you at this point.”
“Don’t stop,” I urge.
“I don’t plan on it,” he tells me. “I’m sick over you. Completely folded. It’s over for me, Nora. If you told me to fuck off tomorrow, I would never get over you. You’d live rent free in my mind forever. Do you get that?”
“I do now,” I answer, a tingling sensation spreading throughout my entire body. Sheer desperation… heat. “I have a pretty big crush on you, too.”
“You can’t see my face right now, but I’m cheesing real hard.”
From the mental image, a shy giggle manages to escape me.
“I know we’ve been heavy on the spice, and you’re fucking stunning, but I don’t just want you for your body. You have the biggest heart and kindest eyes. You make me smile and laugh all the time. Any man you give the chance to is one lucky guy.”
My heart feels so full. “I wish we still lived near each other,” I murmur, memories of college flooding back to me. “Distance sucks. I miss spending time with you in person.”
“I could make that work,” he teases, although I know there’s some truth behind his words. “Fuck. This is hell. I want to hold you so bad.”
“I’ve been imagining what being touched by you feels like,” I confess.
“Yeah? You want my hands all over you?”
“So badly.”
“The things I dream of doing to you,” he says under his breath. “I want to make you feel so good.”
“Nobody has ever cared about my pleasure.”
“That’s crazy. I only care about making you feel good. My own needs can go to hell.”
Holy pleasure dom. He wasn’t lying.
“Whatever you want, Nora, you can have. Do whatever you want with me. I’d let you ruin my life, willingly. Actually, I’d be fucking honored to be ruined by you.”
Did I spill water on the sheets, or is that me? He’s definitely my type of man. Give me all the yearning.
“I don’t want to ruin you. I want to make you feel good, too,” I say flirtatiously.
“Fuck, I’m hard just thinking about having you in my bed.”
“Are you going to do something about it?”
“I don’t think you understand,” he says slowly. “I don’t care about getting myself off. I want to get you off.”
Fucking hell.
I squirm, my breathing quickening.
“I want to make you come so hard you’re on the verge of black out,” he adds in, his voice low. Primal. “I want to show you what real intimacy looks like. Study every inch of your body.”
“Do it then,” I dare him, stirring beneath the sheets, clenching my thighs tightly.
He chuckles subtly. “Yeah?”
“Yes. Show me that you’re not all talk.”
He pauses for a beat. “Just making sure I heard you clearly… you want me to come over?”
My jaw drops. Wait… do I? That’s not even possible. He lives all the way across the country.
“When?” he practically begs. “When, Nora?”
A man pleading to come over just to make me come? Am I dreaming?
“You’re serious,” I point out, caught a bit off guard. “How would that even work?”
“By plane. Car. I mean, I could hop on my fucking bike. It would take me a bit, but I’d get there.”
“You’re insane,” I laugh softly. “I’m not sure if I’d be ready for that yet. It’s been a while since someone has seen me naked.”
“Maybe if you saw someone else naked first, it would take off the edge,” he suggests, his voice low.
My stomach flips over, and I bite my lip, stifling a sharp breath.
He stays quiet.
It’s my move, now.
“Are you offering to undress for me?” I ask, softly.
“Would it help?”
A giddy smile plays at my face. “I mean, I’m not sure.”
“Don’t worry. I’d never send you any unsolicited dick pics.”
“Such a gentleman,” I reply teasingly. “But with you, it would be solicited.”
“Oh?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave. “You want a photo, love? All you had to do was ask.”
“Are you going to want one, too?” I ask, slightly nervous.
“Want one, yes, but I don’t expect anything in return. We’ll just take it slow and you do what’s comfortable for you. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say.
There’s an unexpected ping from my phone. My heart races with anticipation. Oddly enough, as nervous as I am, I’m also excited. When I click on the message, a photo pops up on my screen. He’s lying in bed, and the room is dark, the neon glow from his gaming area creating just enough light.
A hushed giggle leaves me. “Nice gaming set up,” I say.
“Sorry. I joke too much.”
“I don’t mind the edging.”
“Good, because I love imagining you squirming.”
Oh, I’m squirming alright.
Ping.
The moment I look at the photo, my jaw drops instantly, a warm blush settling on my face.
Grey sweatpants are hung loosely on his hips, and poking out through the hem is the thick, rosy head of his cock.
My mouth begins to water as I take in the huge outline of his erection through the material of his pants.
Good lord.
Suddenly I find myself wondering what he tastes like.
“You there, princess?” he questions.
“Uh, yeah, I’m still here,” I reply, zooming in on the tip.
“Does that suffice, or do you want more?”
“I want more,” I blurt out unthinkingly.
“Mmm. Needy little thing.”
Tightly pressing my lips together, I look away, covering my blushed face with sweaty hands. God, my body feels like a furnace right now.
“I have a better idea,” he lets out. “How about we switch this to a video call?”
Holy shit.
“Okay,” I say, trying to sound calm and collected, although I’m mentally screaming.
“Unless you’d rather not,” he points out.
Without hesitation, I accept the video call. At first, it’s his face, and he’s smirking deviously. I turn my camera off immediately to hide my reactions. I really don’t need him to catch me drooling.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Ready.”
He flips the camera around, giving me the same image of the photo. The moment his tattooed arm and hand comes into view, and pulls down his pants, I let out an audible gasp, ending the call abruptly.
Not moving an inch, wide eyed, I stare down where I’ve tossed my phone on the bed in silence with a hammering heart.
Ping.
Lucien
You good, princess?
Me
Yeah
Lucien
Wanna try that again?
Me
Yes please
When I answer the video call, he’s in the same position.
“Sorry about that,” I say, nonchalantly.
“All good. Something on your mind?”
Yeah.
That’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. He’s fucking huge. Actually, huge isn’t even the right word. It’s impressive, much bigger than my sex toy. He’s thick, long, and veiny, pressed up against his belly.
My eyes widen as I catch a glint of something on the underside of his shaft.
Oh my fucking fuck.
“It’s pierced?” I gasp, surprised.