19. Andrei
Andrei
T he more I see how happy small things make Blair, I get angrier and angrier with the majority of the people around her.
Demanding she be respected shouldn’t make her so happy. She should expect it. She shouldn’t be so pleased whenever I make my appreciation for her known. And she definitely shouldn’t light up from within whenever I give her my undivided attention, like she’s unused to being cared about.
I’ve made it my goal to make her so happy that she’ll never have to accept anything less than what she deserves again.
After the near disaster that was dinner with Mila, I figured she’d be pissed at me, but the way she slipped into my arms that night, curling close and wrapping herself around me like she didn’t want any space between us, erased any lingering doubt over what I did.
I promised her that this week we’d have a more relaxing time together. I wasn’t sure if she’d like this, but the grin on her face tells me she’s having the time of her life as she checks out every shelf in this little used bookstore.
Blair darts down another aisle, laughing as she pulls me along by my hand. She doesn’t have to, but I cling to her hand anyway. If she let go, I’d still be right behind her, carrying the stack of worn paperbacks she’s selected.
She crouches in front of another stack of books, running her finger along the cracked spines as she inspects every title lined up in their tidy rows.
When her pile of books grew tall enough that it began to wobble in her hands, I took it from her so she’s be free to select as many as she wants.
“I knew you like reading, but I think I underestimated just how much,” I say as I take another book from her as she slips it off the shelf. There’s a line between her brows whenever she reads the blurb on the back, and I can’t help but smile at it.
“Books are reliable,” she replies distractedly as she puts the book back on the shelf. “They don’t change for me, and I can’t do anything to change them. I like knowing that I have no choice but to get immersed and go with the flow, you know?”
I can’t say that I do, but I hum anyway, helping her stand.
“Are you looking for anything specific?”
“No. Just… looking for something that speaks to me, I guess.” She eyes the pile of books tucked under my arm and huffs. “Or maybe I should call it quits for now.” I shift so that she can’t see them anymore.
“Don’t stop on my account. I’ve got nowhere else to be.”
In truth, I could watch her do this for days. She’s so careful when she picks something, and despite what she said, it’s like she knows exactly what she wants to read, only picking the books that tick every one of her secret boxes.
She hesitates, looking in the direction of the single cashier toward the front of the store.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to take up the whole night with this.”
“Take your time. I’m never going to complain about you enjoying yourself.” She takes a moment, cheeks pink, before she nods, resuming her idle wandering among the stacks.
She rarely takes time for herself, always looking after Niko or worrying about the many things that are outside of her control.
I’ll gladly encourage her to forget it all for a bit.
Watching the joy on her face while she looks around eases a rope around my chest, allowing me to breathe a little easier.
“If you’d like to do something else next week, just let me know, and we’ll do it.”
She looks at me out of the corner of her eye for a moment, considering. Then she shakes her head and turns back to the books.
“What?”
“I was just thinking that I haven’t been to the museum in a while. But I’d feel bad going without Niko, and going with a toddler is a little bit like a field trip to hell, so I don’t want to subject you to it.”
I almost laugh. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just… When we go, I want to look at the exhibits, you know?
Read about the gems in their collection, take my time looking at the dioramas, that sort of thing.
Before I moved here with Daniil, going to the museum was one of my favorite things to do in my spare time.
And you know how Niko is.” She shrugs, looking unbothered.
“He gets to the giant T. rex, loses his mind, and immediately wants to run to the dinosaurs. It’s the only thing he wants to see.
Which is fine, but I can only look at the same bones so many times before I get bored. ”
“Would it be easier if I were there with you guys? That way, when Niko gets bored, I can entertain him while you take your time.” She blinks slowly, a smile breaking across her face, and with it any of the restraint I’ve held in my heart leaves.
Fuck, how did Daniil deny her anything when she smiles like that? It’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ll do anything to make sure I see that smile as much as I can for as long as I possibly can.
It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Are you sure? Because Niko can be a lot. And when there’s a promise of dinosaurs around, he’s almost unbearable.”
“Any time.”
I’ll do anything to see her and Niko happy. Even if I hadn’t promised as much to Daniil, I’d do it for myself. And for them. They deserve it, and I want to be the cause of their happiness. I want them to think of me and smile because they like having me around.
I cradle her careful joy in my chest the whole way home, protecting it like a candle in a windstorm. I let it keep me warm when she reaches out to hold my hand as I drive.
And when I get home and see that the front door is open before I even stop the car, I know that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it safe .
At a glance, the house is dark, but there’s a boot print outlined by the splintered wood near the lock. A quick look around doesn’t show any strange cars on the street, but it’s dark, and I know better than to assume that there isn’t anyone watching.
Blair moves to open her door, oblivious that anything is out of place.
“Wait for me,” I order, reaching across her to pull my gun out of the glove compartment, checking that it’s loaded and flicking off the safety before I’m even out of the car.
“What’s going on?” she asks as I open her door and pull her behind me, grabbing her hand and looping it through my belt at the back of my jeans. “Andrei?”
I don’t want to worry her, but I don’t have any other option right now.
“The door’s been kicked in. I need to make sure whoever did it isn’t still in the house.”
Her stress is immediately apparent, and it makes me more determined to kill whoever’s responsible for this.
“I need you to hold on right here”—I tighten my hand around her wrist, jostling her hand until she clenches it closed—“and stay right on me until I say otherwise, okay?”
She nods, looking scared, but I can’t worry about that right now.
She presses herself firmly against my back as I move cautiously through the house, sweeping each room and shadowed corner until I’m able to assure myself there isn’t an immediate threat.
Everything looks exactly as it should, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can hear Blair’s hitched breaths behind me as she tries not to cry .
My jaw aches from how hard I’m grinding my teeth.
We make it to her bedroom— our bedroom, the one I’ve thought of as ours since the first time I slept there.
Stepping cautiously into the room, I find the first sign that someone’s been inside in the form of a note in the center of the bed, cutting mindlessly through the red dotting the edges of my vision.
Stop hiding her.
I don’t recognize the blocky handwriting, but only one man would be stupid enough to pull off a stunt like this.
Pavel’s more than hammered his point home just by showing up here, and he’s done nothing but leave me with very few choices in how I can move forward.
I check the rest of the house before I relax, wrapping my arms around Blair while she shakes against my chest. She was strong as we moved from room to room, but that strength is gone as I try to soothe her, rubbing a hand along her back while I try to form a plan.
I can’t let her stay here tonight. Niko’s already at Mila’s but he can’t come back tonight, either.
Beyond fixing the door and undoing whatever the fuck he did to disable the security system, I still need to sweep the place for any gifts that Pavel might have left behind.
I wouldn’t put it past the fucker to try to plant bugs or cameras if he thought it’d give him an edge.
My condo isn’t a great option, but it’ll do for a night.
“C’mon,” I say, pulling away just enough to look at her terrified eyes. “Let’s pack a bag. We’ll stay somewhere else until I can get this place cleaned up and fix the door. ”
“I hate that fucking door,” she sniffles, making me chuckle. “Daniil said we had to get a black one so it’d match the neighborhood, but what good did that do? Someone still came and broke it.”
I pause, but only for a moment. If she wants to focus on the damaged door, then that’s what we’ll do until I’m able to get her settled in at my place.
“What color did you want it to be?”
“Blue. Or yellow, maybe. Something fun.”
“I’ll go to the store tomorrow and pick out a white one that’s ready to be painted. When you’re ready, you can pick whatever color you want.” She sniffs once and nods, pulling away and heading toward the closet.
She’s quiet until we get to my condo, looking around the space while I put her bag in my bedroom. Her arms are wrapped around her torso when I come back, and I guide her to the couch.
There isn’t much to look at here, so I don’t bother with a tour. Before we got married, my condo was nothing but a place to sleep, eat, and maybe make a phone call or two. It was fine then, but now that I’ve actually lived in a home, it seems empty.
The fridge looks blank without Niko’s paintings stuck to it. The coffee table looks wrong without stacks of books placed haphazardly on it. The whole place looks like a showroom, not a place where someone lives.