Chapter 8
Noah
Ithought I had my shit together by the time she came out of the bathroom.
I’d let her go in there, while I used paper towels and hand soap from the wet bar at the far corner of the office to get cleaned up.
I knew she wouldn’t stay in the bathroom long.
The expression on her face when we’d finally pulled away from each other at the door said she was ready to bolt.
I couldn’t let her do that without ensuring that she was okay, so I needed to play it cool when she came out so this situation wouldn’t get any crazier than it already had.
But when she stepped out and closed the door behind her, but didn’t move after that, my mouth went dry.
How in the fuck could she be even sexier?
Easy, Serra gave the freshly fucked look a new name.
And even though I hadn’t bent her ass over this desk and pounded into her the way I wanted to, the release I supplied was now a very good look on her.
Her sandals were wedge heels tonight, but still high as fuck and made her bare legs look absolutely amazing. And that little black dress was every bit as delectable as I’d glimpsed seconds after Rock had tapped me on the shoulder while I was talking with a few regulars at their table.
“Your girl’s here lookin’ for you,” he’d said, and I’d immediately been on guard.
He had better not be playing about Traneeka’s simple ass. She’d finally bought a clue and moved the hell on by the time I’d come back from helping with the liquor shipment. But just as I’d been about to say that, I followed Rock’s gaze to Serra.
Timmy was grinning in her face like he was ready to toss her over his shoulder and carry her back to his place.
Over my dead body! I’d moved through the crowds of people either standing near the stage or around tables that overflowed with their friends.
By the time I’d gotten to them I’d wanted to punch Timmy in the throat for daring to speak to her, but the second she looked at me, that storm inside of me had calmed. Just as it always did.
“I need to say this to you,” she spoke. “Then I’m going to leave.”
The steadiness of her tone mixed with the grave look in her eyes kept me silent. I leaned my ass against the desk and pushed my hands into my pockets. Hopefully that would keep me from crossing this room and pulling her into my arms again. The urge to touch her was potent. When I nodded, she began.
“You were right.” She inhaled and released the breath slowly.
“When we first met, I told you I wasn’t looking for anything long-term.
I said my focus was on school and eventually becoming a lawyer.
I was all about fulfilling my daddy’s dream at the time.
” A corner of her mouth lifted in a glib smile.
She had one hand resting on the small purse at her hip. I hadn’t even noticed she had it crossed over her body all this time. The other hand was at her side, but I glimpsed her fingers moving nervously.
“You didn’t want any strings either. We were just going to enjoy our time together for as long as it lasted. And we did that, we were doing that,” she said, this time staring at me imploringly.
I nodded, to let her know that I was following.
I had no idea where this conversation was going, so I didn’t want to speak.
The day I’d showed up at her dorm, we had plans to grab pizza and go bowling with friends.
After that we would’ve most likely ended up at my apartment because we had more privacy there.
Not for one minute had I expected the conversation that came when I got there or how devastated I would feel by the time I left.
So, no, this time I was keeping my mouth shut until I knew how this was going to play out.
She lifted a hand and pushed her hair back behind one ear.
I loved this style on her. It spoke to how much she’d matured and grown into what could sometimes be a high-profile career.
Camy would call it a blunt cut. I know this because I’d had the displeasure of being at her house—the one left to her, Del, and Lance by their parents—with Del, working on some of the repairs that were needed while she was there with her friends.
Camy, Rylan, and Portia were an inseparable trio now and they loved their spa and salon days.
“I never lied to you,” she said. “It’s important that you know everything I said or did when we were together was with total honesty. I wanted to be with you.” That last sentence was spoken so softly I barely heard it. “I wanted to love you.”
And I had wanted her love, more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life before or since.
Then, as if relieved or resigned to getting that out of the way, she squared her shoulders and cleared her throat. “But my father and brothers didn’t think that was a good idea.”
The ball of rage that had formed in the pit of my stomach at seeing Timmy standing so close to her a short while ago was nothing in comparison to the fury that began to brew at her words.
“Sawyer came to see me that morning and swore he’d make life miserable for you and I couldn’t let that happen.” She shook her head as if saying the words were somehow physically painful. “I’m not offering excuses, Noah. I’m just clearing the air once and for all.”
My mind whirled with memories and pain ripped fresh and new through my soul.
I had walked into her apartment late that afternoon, ready to see my girl. To touch and kiss on her the way I always did because I was incapable of keeping my hands off her whenever we were near. So, the minute the door was closed behind me, I went in for a hug, but Serra had backed away.
“I need to know where this is going,” she said, her tone serious.
I frowned. “We’re going to get pizza and bowling. At least that’s what you said Chandler and Marlee wanted to do.” Her roommate wasn’t there so I’d assumed her and her boyfriend were meeting us at the pizza place.
She shook her head. The tips of the long corn rows she had draped over her shoulders moved slightly. “I mean you and me. Where is this thing between us going?”
The subject had taken me totally off guard and it took a minute for me to gather my bearings. “I…well, I thought we were having fun.”
A bark of laughter shot from her. It wasn’t cheerful at all. “That’s it? The things I let you do to my body, the things I do to your body. They’re all just for fun? Wow! I mean, you could go online and pay for fun pussy, Noah. Why bother with me?”
“Whoa. Hold the fuck up! Where is all this coming from?” Because now I was getting pissed. If I’d done something, said something, I needed her to put that shit out there so I could correct it. But these curveballs she was tossing at me were pissing me off.
“It’s coming from the fact that we’ll be graduating in a few months and then what?
I’ll go off to law school and you’ll do what?
Run back to your hometown? Or get into your car and drive off into the sunset?
What are your plans, Noah? For the future and for us?
” She was shouting, which was unlike her.
In the nine months we’d been a couple we’d had maybe two serious arguments and neither time had she raised her voice.
Serra was a born lawyer, her wit and words could slice down any defense I ever came up with in seconds.
She’d never needed to raise her voice to bring me to my knees.
“You know I said I wasn’t sure where I’d land career-wise, that’s why I enrolled in the general studies program. And you also know I’m not planning on going back to Providence,” I told her.
“But what I don’t know is where I fit into your open plans,” she shot back.
“Serra, baby, where is all this coming from?” I took a step toward her and she immediately stepped back. She actually winced when she moved like she thought I would what, hit her?
I shook my head, confusion giving way to irritation that was bound to push me into a place I did not want to go to with her. “Okay,” I said, dragging a hand down my face. “Let’s just take a breath. If you want to talk about our future, cool, let’s sit down and talk this out.”
“No!” she shouted. “It’s too late for the calm conversations. We’ve had so many of those, Noah. Late nights after watching movies or having sex. Early mornings while lying in your bed. In your car parked somewhere.” She waved a hand at those words like she couldn’t understand why we’d done that.
But she did understand. We laughed about it on more than one occasion.
We had cellphones, her dorm room, my apartment, any number of places or ways in which we could communicate, but sometimes those spur of the moment conversations started while we were in the car, were best finished there as well.
It had never mattered to me as long as we were together.
“If you can’t make the promises I need, Noah, then you can just go now.” That was her closing argument. It was spoken with a somber finality that left room for very little deliberation.
Still, I blinked and asked, “What the hell are you saying?” Because it had better not be what I thought it was. She had better not be sending me on my way after I’d opened up to her, laid my soul at her feet, and prayed she would be gentle with its frayed edges.
“I’m saying that this is the part of the game where I show my cards and if you don’t have anything in your hand to continue to compete, then you fold and walk away.”
The analogy ran back to the many nights we’d played poker with Marlee and Chandler because both Marlee and Serra knew how to play that game from the free game apps offered on their phones.
Neither of them knew how to play Spades, which was me and Chandler’s preference.
So, we’d done as guys often do, and given the girls their way.