CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MASON
The break should’ve helped.
It didn’t.
Five minutes of noise and movement just made it worse because now everything had reset except the part in my head that refused to.
Rowan was still in the room.
Caleb still behind her.
And I still couldn’t stop noticing it.
“Reed,” Jace muttered as we stood near the back of the room. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“What thing.”
“The one where you look like you’re about to make a bad decision.”
“I’m not.”
He laughed under his breath. “You always say that right before you do.”
I didn’t answer.
Because Coach was calling us back in.
“Settle down,” he said. “Last segment.”
We sat.
Same seats.
Same arrangement.
Except nothing felt the same anymore.
Rowan was one row in front again.
Caleb behind her.
Me behind and slightly to the side.
Too close.
Not close enough.
That gap was starting to feel like something I could measure.
Film started again.
Coach talked.
I heard none of it properly.
Because Rowan shifted her chair slightly backward.
Small movement.
Unintentional.
But it changed everything.
The back of her chair touched my knee.
Barely.
Accident.
Probably.
But it didn’t move away.
Neither did I.
That was the problem.
Jace noticed instantly beside me.
His head tilted slightly. “Oh no.”
I didn’t respond.
Because I was already aware.
Her chair.
My knee.
Neither of us moving.
The room suddenly felt quieter even though nothing changed.
Caleb leaned forward slightly again, his voice low.
“Rowan,” he said. “You writing everything or just pretending to?”
She didn’t turn.
“Both,” she said.
Simple.
Flat.
Controlled.
That made something tighten in my chest again.
Because she didn’t sound affected by anything in the room.
Except she was sitting inches from me and didn’t move away.
Coach paused the film.
“Focus,” he said sharply. “Reed, you’re late on transition recognition.”
“I know.”
“You don’t look like you do.”
I nodded once.
Didn’t speak.
Because I was still aware of her chair against me.
Still not moving mine.
Neither of us acknowledging it.
That was worse than if she had pulled away.
Because it meant we were both aware and choosing not to fix it.
That was new.
That was dangerous in a way I didn’t fully understand yet.
Rowan
I felt it before I decided what it meant.
Something behind me.
Not pressure.
Not obvious.
Just contact.
Small.
Accidental.
Probably.
My chair had shifted back slightly without me noticing.
And now—
there was something against it.
I didn’t turn.
Because I knew if I did, I’d make it real.
Caleb was still talking behind me.
Coach was still speaking.
Film still running.
But none of that mattered for a second.
Because Mason was there.
Close enough that I didn’t need to see him to know.
I adjusted my pen slightly.
Pretended nothing had changed.
But my back didn’t move the chair forward.
Neither did his knee move away.
That should’ve been normal.
It wasn’t.
“Rowan,” Caleb whispered. “You good?”
“Yes.”
Short.
Too short.
He hesitated. “You seem tense.”
“I’m fine.”
But I wasn’t.
Not because of him.
Because of the space behind me that wasn’t space anymore.
Mason
Her chair was still there.
Still touching.
Still not moving.
I could’ve shifted.
I didn’t.
That was the part I didn’t like.
Not the contact.
The fact I didn’t correct it.
Jace leaned slightly toward me again. “You realise you’re both doing this on purpose now, right?”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s the problem.”
Coach clapped once.
“Break,” he said again. “Last five before we wrap.”
Noise returned.
People shifted.
Chairs moved.
Except ours didn’t immediately.
Rowan stood first.
Her chair moved away from mine as she did.
That gap hit harder than the contact.
Because now it was gone.
And I noticed that too.
She didn’t look back when she left her seat.
Just stood and walked forward slightly to adjust her bag.
Normal.
Controlled.
Like nothing had happened.
But I knew it had.
Even if it was small.
Especially because it was small.
Rowan
I should’ve moved faster.
I didn’t.
Because I could feel it as I stood.
The space behind me changing the second I moved forward.
The contact breaking.
The absence replacing it.
That was worse.
I adjusted my bag strap.
Didn’t look back.
Because I didn’t need to.
I already knew he was still there.
Still aware.
Still not saying anything.
Caleb walked beside me as we left the row.
“You coming after this?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
But I wasn’t listening properly.
Because I could still feel the space behind me.
Even when it was gone.
Mason
She left first.
That was fine.
Except it wasn’t.
Because the moment she stood up, everything reset except me.
Jace watched me pack up slowly.
“You’re cooked,” he said again.
I didn’t respond.
Because I was still thinking about a chair.
And how something that small shouldn’t have stayed with me this long.
But it did.
And I didn’t like what that meant.
Not yet.
Not fully.
But enough to know it was changing something.