CHAPTER NINETEEN
ROWAN
I told myself I wasn’t going back to the arena that day.
That lasted until I was halfway through deleting notes I wasn’t actually reading.
Serena didn’t even look up when I grabbed my bag.
“You’re going,” she said.
“No.”
“You are.”
“I said no.”
She finally looked at me. Smirked. “You’re going because you’re bored, or because you want to see if he’s there.”
“I don’t want to see anyone.”
“Sure.”
I left before she could say anything else.
Which was basically an answer anyway.
The arena felt louder today.
Not because anything changed.
Because I noticed more.
I stood near the entrance longer than I needed to, watching people come and go like I was deciding whether I belonged there.
That was new.
I didn’t like it.
Then I saw him.
Mason.
Court side.
Not playing yet.
Just standing with Jace and Niko, towel over his shoulder, listening to something Coach was saying.
Normal.
Except I stopped anyway.
Which was worse.
Because I didn’t mean to.
Caleb arrived beside me a few seconds later.
“You made it,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t sound convinced when you said it earlier.”
“I was busy.”
He nodded like he didn’t fully believe that but didn’t push.
We walked in together.
And I felt it immediately.
Not eyes.
Not attention.
Something quieter.
Awareness.
Mason saw me almost instantly.
I didn’t look back right away.
I should’ve.
I did anyway.
Our eyes met.
He didn’t smile.
Didn’t react.
Just held it for a second too long before looking away.
Like he’d already decided something.
That bothered me more than it should’ve.
Mason
I saw her before I wanted to.
That was becoming a pattern.
She was at the entrance with Caleb.
Again.
Close enough that it didn’t look like anything.
Far enough that it still did.
Jace followed my gaze instantly.
“Oh,” he said softly. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re staring.”
“I’m not.”
He laughed. “Sure.”
Coach called us over.
We started warmups.
I tried to lock in.
It worked.
For about thirty seconds.
Then I looked up again.
She was still there.
Same spot.
Different posture now.
Arms crossed slightly.
Watching.
Not me.
Everything.
Which somehow felt worse.
Because it meant I wasn’t the only thing in her head.
That shouldn’t have mattered.
It did.
Rowan
I wasn’t watching him.
I was watching the court.
That was the lie.
But I kept noticing him anyway.
Not in the way I used to.
This was different.
More… automatic.
Like my attention drifted there without asking me.
Caleb leaned slightly toward me. “You want to sit closer?”
“No.”
He nodded.
Didn’t question it.
That was the problem with Caleb.
He didn’t force things.
Which made everything feel more obvious when I didn’t choose him.
Mason
Warmups ended.
Coach split us into half-court sets.
I moved.
Ran plays.
Passed.
Clean.
Better.
But not fully there.
Because she was still there.
Still watching.
Still not reacting like she used to.
That shift was what kept pulling me off balance.
Jace finally said it mid-break.
“You’re not even trying to hide it now.”
“Hide what.”
He looked at me like I was stupid. “This.”
I didn’t answer.
Because I didn’t know what “this” was anymore.
Rowan
It happened during break.
Not planned.
Not dramatic.
Just movement.
I went to step down toward the court exit to grab water.
Caleb said something behind me.
I didn’t hear it properly.
Because Mason was walking the opposite direction at the same time.
And the space between us collapsed without warning.
Not fully.
Just enough.
We crossed paths near the sideline.
Too close.
Too fast to avoid naturally.
My shoulder brushed his arm.
Barely.
Accident.
Probably.
But neither of us moved away immediately.
That was the problem.
For half a second too long—
we just stayed like that.
Then I stepped past him first.
Too quickly.
Like it meant nothing.
It didn’t feel like nothing.
Mason
It wasn’t planned.
I wasn’t even thinking.
Just walking.
Then she was there.
And suddenly the space wasn’t empty anymore.
Her shoulder hit my arm lightly as she passed.
Small.
Accidental.
But I stopped for a fraction longer than I should’ve.
Jace saw it immediately.
Of course he did.
“Oh my God,” he muttered. “You’re actually doomed.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
I turned back toward the court.
She didn’t look back.
That should’ve been fine.
It wasn’t.
Because now I knew what her proximity felt like.
And I didn’t like that I noticed it so easily.
Rowan
I didn’t turn around.
I wanted to.
That was the annoying part.
Instead I kept walking.
Caleb caught up beside me.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
But I wasn’t paying attention.
Because I could still feel it.
Where I’d brushed past him.
Like my body remembered something my mind hadn’t agreed to yet.
And that was new.
That was worse.