14. Chapter 14
Seren
I was minding my own business, pouring electrolytes into my water bottle when Evie breezed into the locker room.
“I love you, Seren!” she declared, with a grin the size of Texas.
“I don’t get that kind of appreciation,” Lola huffed, coming in behind her.
“Well,” Evie shot back, already halfway to her locker, “you didn’t have a baby two years ago, and then get our entire training schedule shifted to fit daycare drop-offs. I slept until seven this morning. Seven. Do you understand how life-changing that is?”
Lola paused, considering that for a second, then gave a slow nod. “Alright, yeah. I take it back. Seren, I love you too.”
A few of the girls laughed, the sound easy, rolling through the space as bags hit benches and lockers started opening.
“You’re welcome, I guess?” I never thought I’d be thanked for getting knocked up in my last year of college, but there’s a first for everything.
Lola snorted as she shoved her locker open with her hip. “I’m serious, though. I didn’t realize how brutal those six a.m. starts were until today”
“They’re still brutal. I am not a morning person,” Cassie said, pulling her training top over her vest.
Evie leaned against the lockers, watching me for a second, and that’s when I noticed her shirt that read ‘I hate margaritas (Just kidding, could you imagine?)’.
I cackled. “That shirt is amazing.”
“Right? My boyfriend hates them, but that will never stop me.” She smoothed it down, clearly attached to it. “My best friend Domenico always buys them for me when we go out; he understands my love.”
Lola fanned herself. “Your best friend is hotter than your boyfriend, by the way.”
Evie swatted at her without contact. “Oh hush, I’ll tell your girlfriend if you don’t stop that.”
“Maybe we should set Seren up with him?” Lola teased, but my face flamed. I hadn’t been with anyone since…I gulped down the reality of it being Derek and that long ago, and the heat intensified. I prayed no one noticed.
“What are we doing now?” I asked meekly.
“Setting you up with Evie’s hot Italian best friend.”
Before I could answer, Lola shoved a picture of Evie and the guy into my face. A social media profile littered with rugby, Evie, margs, and a cute kitten. The guy was hot, no denying that. Tan skin, and dark, messy hair… “He’s cute,” I said noncommittally.
“I’m sorry.” Evie flushed, quickly snatching Lola’s phone away. “You don’t have to date him, or anyone. Lola doesn’t have boundaries.”
I wasn’t going to, but I got the feeling that maybe Evie was also territorial over him. I’d never touch that anyway, girl code and all.
“I’m good,” I said, smiling.
“Did I see you with Ledger at the beach last week?” Cassie asked, casual as anything. My heart dropped so fast it made me feel unsteady, like I’d missed a step.
“Uh, probably,” I said, too quickly, my voice catching halfway as I cleared my throat. “We were all there.”
The words felt thin, like they didn’t quite cover what she was asking, or what she’d seen.
Because my body remembered it differently.
The way he’d stood too close. The way his voice had dropped just enough to make it feel like it was meant for me and me only. The feeling of his body against mine…Yeah, I remembered all of it with clarity.
His message “For now” had looped in my mind all weekend. It didn’t matter how many times I tried not to think about him, I wound up thinking about him all the same.
I reached for my water bottle just to have something to do.
“Relax,” Evie cooed. “Jake is a sweetie.”
“We’re friends, and it’s…uh, friendly.” Wow, say more, girlfriend.
Friendly didn’t feel like the right word for the way my body had reacted to him, or the way his voice had stayed with me long after he’d walked away.
Friendly didn’t linger.
Friendly didn’t make my body temperature skyrocket either.
That was all Jake.
And apparently, I sucked at wanting to be friendly.
***
Picking Cai up today was a dream experience because I didn’t start my day on the wrong foot.
Training had gone well—better than well, if I was honest—my legs holding up through drills, my lungs not burning the way they had that first week, my timing starting to click back into place like muscle memory.
I’d even caught Teddy’s nod across the field after a clean take and offload, which had settled something within me I hadn’t realized was still on edge.
I hadn’t managed to see Nate yet, but I’d call him later. Right now, a bath and early dinner was calling my name.
“Twuck,” Cai announced, pointing at absolutely nothing, then immediately switching tracks. “Snack. Juice. Nighty. Gamma.” Which reminded me, I needed to call my mom tonight and confirm the dates she would help with games in the season.
I huffed out a quiet laugh, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “You’ve got a lot to say today, huh?”
“Jakey!”
The word cracked out of him so suddenly it pulled my attention up without thinking, my eyes following the direction of his finger, and there he was.
Six-foot-four of bad decisions and easy charm, standing like he had nowhere else to be and all the time in the world.
Oh, and a small cut across his cheek from the other day that added to his rugged handsomeness. He was right about that.
“Hi, bestie.” He held out his fist, and Cai leaned forward in my arms to meet it, immediately opening his hand at the last second and smacking it instead. Jake recoiled like he’d been taken out. “Oh, you got me again. I never see it coming.”
Cai dissolved into delighted giggles, his whole body wiggling, and I had to tighten my hold on him to keep him from launching himself straight at Jake as we stood on the sidewalk.
Jake’s attention shifted, those light eyes landing on mine, the amusement easing into something very different. “Hey,” he said in a deeper tone that did unspeakable things to my control. “I missed you after training. I was going to drive you here, but you left too fast.”
“I had to rush. Spent too long in PT getting my hamstring worked on.”
The vibration of a hum seemed to leave his body and travel into mine, and I had no idea how that was physically possible since he wasn’t touching me, but he may as well have been.
“Yeah?” he said, softer now. “You good?”
I nodded, pretending not to notice the way his gaze lingered on my lips.
“Cheek feeling okay?” I asked.
“I had the best nurse patch me up. I think I might need her to do the same during games, too.”
I snorted a laugh. “Oh, really?”
He smiled so wide, the sides of his eyes crinkled and those dimples popped out, winking at me, like they knew I was blushing and swooning and all the things I hadn’t done in so long.
“I was also wondering if you wanted to do something friendly today?”
“I have Cai,” I replied automatically, putting him down, but keeping his hand firmly in mine.
“I know,” Jake said just as fast, like he’d expected that. His gaze flicked to Cai, softening more. “That’s not exactly a dealbreaker.”
He held out his fist out. “Right, little man?”
“Yay!” Cai squealed, immediately betraying me, smacking his hand into Jake’s with zero hesitation.
Jake grinned and glanced back at me. “See? Already outvoted.”
I had a feeling that would happen a lot where he was concerned, especially because the easiest way to hype up my child was to include him and smile or laugh, like he was the best thing to ever happen. Which he was, always, but Cai ate it up every time.
“Mommy, go!” Cai cried out.
Jake mumbled a laugh, stepping a little closer to me. “What do you say? Can we convince you to have some fun?”
Yes! my brain unhelpfully shouted, you could convince me to do anything with those dimples.
No! the logical part of me yelled, this was a bad idea because of Cai’s feelings.
Everything felt tangled. Because if Cai got attached to Jake, it wouldn’t stay simple; it wouldn’t sit neatly in the box I kept trying to force this into.
Kids didn’t do casual, they didn’t understand “just friends” or blurred lines or whatever this was supposed to be.
They just felt safe. And the second Cai decided Jake was someone who stayed, who showed up, who made him laugh like that… what happened if he didn’t?
What happened if I was wrong about this being nothing?
Because it wouldn’t just be me dealing with the fallout, brushing it off and pretending I’d expected it all along.
It would be explaining to my son why someone he liked wasn’t around anymore, why the easy, happy thing he’d started to trust had quietly disappeared.
I didn’t know if I could stomach being the reason that happened.
And the worst part was, I could hear how far ahead I’d already gone, building an ending that didn’t exist yet, trying to solve a problem we weren’t even close to having.
All I could think about was how Derek had asked “what about what you want?” What about me? I didn’t matter as much as Cai. He needed stability, and…suddenly my throat felt like it was lined with sandpaper as I tried to swallow.
“Oh no,” I whispered to myself, mortified at the emotion trying to work its way out of me. Jake caught it because he was standing so close, and immediately, his face dropped.
“Shi…oot,” he corrected with a glance at Cai. “Did I say something wrong? God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Are you…Do you need something, anything?”
I sniffed it all away, praying I wouldn’t start bawling over the hypothetical situations of mom guilt. “I’m fine. I’m just getting ahead of myself.”
Cai sang a song to himself, still linked to my hand. Jake stepped closer, lifting his hand to brush a strand of my hair behind my ear, and I found myself gazing up at him.
“If you’ve had a long day, I won’t be upset if you go home.” He laughed under his breath. “Well, I will, actually. I’ll go home and pout and probably text you all night.”
“Ugh.” I sniffed again as my chest warmed. “The worst.”
His smile shone brightly, and I don’t know how, but he made me feel like I wasn’t being ridiculous. “What do you say?”
“Okay,” I breathed out, letting myself have this.