44. Chapter 44 #2
His eyebrows lifted, like he hadn’t expected me to say it that plainly. He looked between me and Cai, and his lips pressed tightly together. I wasn’t sure what was going through his head, but I could guess.
A beat of silence passed between us.
“Listen, I’m not trying to replace you here.”
He scoffed loud enough that Cai’s little hand flinched on my chest. Derek clocked the movement and his eyebrows drew together as he took a deep breath. “Right.”
“I don’t know what your plan was coming here, but as long as Seren wants me here, I’ll be by her side.”
He nodded, though didn’t look at me.
“Seren and Cai mean a lot to me,” I said, holding his gaze. “And all my cards are on the table.” He didn’t need to know everything, but enough to let him know that I’m serious about them.
Like he was forcing himself to keep a lid on whatever his first instinct had been, he exhaled slowly through his nose. “She’s…” He stopped himself, jaw tightening like he’d almost said something he wasn’t sure he could back up. “We’ve got history.”
It could’ve sounded like a challenge, but I wasn’t going to delve into their shared history. Not when I very much planned to be their future.
“I don’t need you to like it,” I said firmly.
“I probably wouldn’t, if I were you. But I’m not playing house because it feels good for five minutes.
I know what it is to be temporary in people’s lives, Derek.
” My throat tightened, but I held his gaze anyway.
“I wouldn’t do that to him.” I looked down at the little boy still wrapped around me, feeling a tug I never wanted to lose. “Or to her.”
“Does Seren know all of this?”
His question caught me off guard, but I tried not to let it show. We’d been interrupted at her place, and now…
“That’s not your concern. All you need to know is, like I said, I’m not trying to replace you. I want this to be an easy relationship for everyone involved. Especially Seren. She deserves to have something that’s easy for her.”
His head tilted. “And that’s you?”
“Yeah.” I held his gaze, full backing myself for once. “It is.”
The silence that followed wasn’t hostile. It wasn’t warm either. It was two men standing in the same storm, trying to figure out if they were supposed to be enemies or just simply two men who loved the same people.
Before anything more was said, Seren came back and sat beside me, putting a pin in that conversation for now.
Derek stood. “Are you good if I take Cai back to my place?”
Seren nodded mindlessly, then leaned in to kiss the side of her son’s head. “Text me when you’re settled.”
I had no doubt he would, given how involved he loved to keep her still.
I pressed a kiss to Cai’s forehead right before Derek scooped him up, soothing him as he grumbled. “I’ll bring him back tomorrow,” he said to her.
Seren deflated against me, watching as he walked away with Cai tucked against him, and I ran my hand over her hair, hoping I could soothe some of her worries.
My lungs inhaled a full breath with her in my arms, replacing the warmth Cai had left behind. I kissed the top of her head, keeping my mouth there, letting my heartbeat settle against her. “I’m sorry we’re here, but I’m glad I’m here with you,” I whispered.
Her hands came up to fist into my shirt. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Lean on me,” I whispered. “As much as you need.”
***
The next twenty-four hours became a blur of hospital corridors, vending machine coffees, and trying to make sure Cai’s world still felt steady while everything else around us had cracked open.
Nate’s intubation was removed after he responded to the basic commands with doctors, but he was super sleepy and out of it most of the time.
The doctors said it was normal for him to be out of it, especially with the pain medication and trauma, his body needed rest, but it didn’t stop the knot that lived permanently in my chest.
Seren had barely slept since we got here.
Half the time she forgot to eat unless somebody physically handed her food, and the only reason I’d left the hospital tonight was because I wanted to shoulder some of the worry I knew she carried where Cai was concerned.
He needed routine. Baths. Stories. Sleep.
And I wasn’t prepared to see her split herself any farther than she already was.
Between her parents, me and Derek, we were all on shift at any moment.
Connor stayed with Seren today, her parents went to Nate’s to shower and reset, while I took Cai home to grab his overnight bag before meeting Derek.
I pulled up outside Seren’s place and glanced in the rear-view mirror. Cai was strapped into the car seat, kicking his little sneakers against the seat rhythmically, his favorite blue toy truck dangling upside down in his fist.
“My house?” he asked as we parked.
“Yeah, buddy,” I said, cutting the engine. “But we’re gonna see Daddy. You get a sleepover tonight.”
“Daddy house?”
“Yep. We’re headed there once we get your bag.”
The second I opened the back door, he reached for me with both hands. I lifted him from the car seat and settled him against my hip while he pressed the toy truck into the side of my cheek.
“Truck kiss.”
“Oh, wow. Lucky me.”
He giggled. “Jakey love truck. My love Jakey.”
My heart still wasn’t used to that. “I love you too, little man.”
Inside the apartment, I packed his overnight bag while Cai followed me around, rambling nonsense about trucks and crackers and Uncle Nighty sleeping. Every now and then, he’d stop and ask for his mom, and every time I told him she was with Uncle Connor helping Uncle Nate get better.
I hated how normal that answer was starting to sound.
By the time we headed back downstairs, Cai had managed to wedge himself under my arm while carrying one shoe in his hand and absolutely refusing to let me help.
“You do it then,” I muttered, watching him aggressively Velcro the straps together completely wrong.
“Did it.”
“You’re so smart.”
When we made it downstairs and reached my truck again. Derek was already there, leaning against his SUV.
“Daddy!” Cai squealed, jumping up and down in my arms.
Derek’s entire face changed instantly. It hit me again sometimes how much Cai looked like him around the eyes.
“Hey, monster,” Derek greeted as he crossed toward us.
Cai practically launched himself at him, and Derek caught him easily, pressing a kiss to the side of his head while Cai immediately started telling him about absolutely nothing and everything. We both stared and nodded along.
“How’s Nate doing?” he asked.
“He’s still not been awake much, but docs say its normal for his body to need rest.”
He hummed in response as I passed him the overnight bag, then opened the back door again to unclip the car seat.
Derek blinked. “You sure you don’t mind me taking it?”
“Yeah.” I hefted it up. “We can switch it back tomorrow.”
There was a pause before Derek nodded once. “I’ve been meaning to get one; I just haven’t yet with everything going on.”
I clicked the seat into the back of his SUV and tightened the straps automatically. I’m sure he knew what to do, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
Derek looked over at me while Cai climbed into the seat, shouting, “Bye, Jakey truck!”
A small smile pulled at Derek’s mouth.
Things between us had been…different since the hospital. Not perfect. Probably never would be. Maybe because, for the first time, he realized I wasn’t trying to take his place. And maybe because I finally understood that him loving Cai didn’t threaten the fact I did too.
“Thanks, man,” Derek said quietly.
There was genuine gratitude in his voice, and it caught me off guard. My eyebrows shot to my hairline, but I schooled my expression. I didn’t want Cai to pick up on anything. “Yeah, no worries.”
Then Cai started yelling, and the moment broke apart.
Derek huffed a laugh before climbing into the driver’s seat. “I’ll bring him back tomorrow afternoon.”
“Take your time,” I said. “We’ll probably still be at the hospital.”
His expression sobered slightly at that, but he nodded. “Tell Seren I’ll check in later.”
“I will.”
Cai smacked his hand against the window dramatically the second Derek started the engine. “Bye, Jakey!”
I grinned despite everything and waved back. “Bye, buddy.”
***
Today was day three, and this morning, the doctors had reduced Nate’s pain relief because they wanted to give him the chance to show he was ready for the second surgery to fix his leg.
Seren had been curled up in the chair beside his bed when I got there, still wearing yesterday’s hoodie, her hair piled messily on top of her head. She looked exhausted in that deep way that sleep couldn’t fix. But she was so beautiful still.
“You should go stretch your legs,” I told her.
Her eyes stayed on Nate. “I’m fine.”
“Baby.”
Her eyes flicked to mine, cheek resting on the top of her knee as she inhaled deeply.
“I don’t want him to be alone.”
“He won’t be.” I moved closer, resting my hand lightly against the back of her neck. “I’ll stay with him.”
She hesitated, chewing the inside of her cheek while looking at her brother like she physically couldn’t make herself leave him. Then, finally, she stood slowly from the chair.
“Call me if anything changes.”
“I will.”
“And if he wakes up—”
“I’ll call.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
She nodded and turned, albeit reluctantly, and disappeared through the door.
Now, I had ten minutes alone with my best friend. Seeing him here, helpless, wasn’t something my brain processed very well. His leg was in some kind of brace, locked in place, looking gnarly as fuck.
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on my thighs.
“I know you can’t hear me, or maybe you can and you’re faking it, but in movies when people are in hospital beds, they always talk to them. So here I am, talking to you.”
God, this was too much. My entire chest felt like it was going to cave in at the sight of him laying there, propped up like a puppet. He’d hate this fuss.