16
Sasha
Once a month, Liv and I have a girls’ night. It’s sad to admit, but it’s the one thing I look forward to every month. It’s even sadder to admit that it’s the only time I ever had any real fun.
Then Conor happened.
We’ve decided to keep our relationship going for a couple more weeks. We thought it would look weird if we suddenly broke up right after the party. It was actually Conor who decided it, not me. Plus, neither of us want to give the media any more reasons to dig into us than they already have.
People are starting to find out who I am.
All they had before was a photo but now, they have my name.
It doesn’t take a genius to do a little internet stalking and find out everything about me.
I’ve already received messages after messages, mostly from women, telling me that Conor and I won’t last. I’m not his usual type.
If you ever split up, give him my number.
It’s ridiculous. Conor has turned all my accounts to private, but that doesn’t stop the comments from flooding his own posts.
I hate it. The comments are degrading, humiliating, women hating on women because what?
They’re jealous? But I hate myself even more because no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from reading them.
And what happens when the fall out eventually comes? It’ll be everywhere. Every news outlet, every social media account, every person with an opinion will have something to say. Will the messages and comments stop or will they get worse? That’s terrifying to even think about.
The only good thing about all of this is that Conor has slowly started to become one of my best friends without me even realizing it. At least I know when this is all over, I’ll still have that with him.
I was still embarrassed about what happened the night of the engagement party when I woke up the next morning, but Conor and I talked it through. Somehow, after that conversation, things between us have been better than ever. I didn’t even know that was possible.
I’m meeting Olivia at a bar not far from my apartment.
It’s the same one we went to when she and Josh first became a couple.
It’s also the same one where I felt like smashing the place apart because I saw Conor kissing some random girl.
It was worse, because I was there with Max.
I try not to read too much into that, especially now.
It’ll add to the list of complications that’s already going on right now and I think I have enough of those.
“Hey!” I call out when I see Olivia sitting at a booth tucked beside the dance floor.
“Hey, babe.” She jumps up to hug me when I reach the table.
After that painfully awkward dinner with us and the boys, I thought Olivia would be off with me for a while.
Instead, we were completely back to normal the next day.
That’s how our friendship works and I love it.
I can always count on her to have my back.
“I invited Charlie. I hope that was okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” Right on cue, Charlie drops into the seat beside me, slamming a tray of drinks onto the table.
“Okay, so I thought we’d start off the evening right with tequila shots.” Liv and I both grimace. Tequila was our drink of choice during our college days and to say we have the fear would be an understatement. “What?”
Olivia and I exchange a look before we burst out laughing, all the memories are our drunken nights out flooding back. “I’ll have one shot but that’s it.”
“God, you're both so boring.” Charlie whines but there’s a smile playing on her lips. The three of us lift a shot, clink our glasses together and down them. “That’s so much worse than I remember.” I choke out while Liv and Charlie laugh.
“So,” Olivia starts, eyeing me with a smirk, “how’s things with Conor?”
“Oh my God, that’s right!” Charlie shouts, earning the attention of people surrounding us.
“Emm, things are going good.” I tell them. Heat rises up my cheeks and Olivia’s smirk grows. “What?”
“Nothing.” She looks away, but I know that expression.
I told Olivia about the kiss at the party because she wouldn’t stop interrogating me.
It took a lot of convincing on her part, and by that, I mean she pinned me down and tickled me until I told her what happened.
I did not tell her about before or after the party though.
I don’t know if she would judge me or be pissed at me, but I couldn’t deal with her thoughts on the situation as well as my own.
Thankfully the kiss was enough information for her to satisfy her. She thinks that’s the reason for my wild eyes and heated cheeks any time Conor’s name is mentioned and I would like to keep it that way.
“So tell me,” Charlie says, turning towards me, “how did you manage to pin him down?”
“Why, Charlotte?” A deep voice says from behind us. “Are you looking for tips?” Charlie’s face instantly changes from her happy smile to glaring daggers at the man behind me. I spin around, seeing Christian Knight with Josh.
“What are you doing here?” Liv asks, jumping out of her seat and pulling Josh into a deep, toe-curling kiss. It’s cute that they’ve been together for so long and still want to rip each other’s clothes off anytime they’re in the same room. It makes me feel nauseous and horny all at the same time.
“Aunt Dee wanted to take Bella for the night so we decided to surprise you.” Josh says once he pries himself off his girlfriend.
“Did you have to bring him?” Charlie asks snidely, her glare never straying from Christian.
“I’m getting a drink.” Christian turns and stalks off towards the bar.
I look at Charlie. “What was all that about?”
She throws back another shot before answering. “Long story short, he’s an asshole.” She sighs, pushing herself out of the booth. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
She walks towards the toilets but her gaze keeps snagging on the bar. Interesting.
I glance around. I’m the only one here. Where the hell did Liv and Josh go? Horny bastards. I just hope they went to a different bathroom than Josh’s sister did. That would be traumatizing. I need a drink just thinking about it.
I make my way to the bar and order a sex on the beach.
They are the ultimate cocktail and no one can change my mind on that.
I reach into my bag for my purse, but a male voice stops me, “I’ve got it.
” I look up into the most devastatingly beautiful blue eyes.
“Hey, Angel.” Conor leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek before grabbing my drink in one hand and my hand in the other, leading me back to our booth.
“Thank you.”
The second we sit at the booth again, Conor pulls me onto his lap, wraps his arms around my waist and brushes his lips against the bare skin at my neck. Goosebumps race across my arms, followed by a shiver that runs straight down my spine.
He’s never touched me like this before. The most physical we’ve gotten is that kiss at the party last week.
This feels different though, more natural.
More intimate. And my mind immediately starts spinning.
I need him to stop. I’m getting mixed signals and it’s all getting too confusing. It’s all an act, Sash.
Charlie comes back to the table with a faraway look in her eyes. She’s staring at us but I don't think she’s really looking at us. I wiggle out of Conor’s tight grasp. “What’s wrong?” I ask, reaching for her hand but she quickly pulls it away. “Charlie?”
“I, umm…” She blinks in quick succession. “I think I need to get my ears bleached.” A laugh bubbles up my throat before I can stop it.
“Josh and Liv?” I manage between laughs.
“Don’t remind me!” She snaps. She’s in shock, but this is fucking hilarious.
“Don’t worry, girl. We’ve all been there.”
“Captain.” She mutters. “Disgusting.”
Conor chuckles behind me, his hot breath fanning across my neck.
Oh no, my tummy did the thing. I need to move.
Being this close to this man is dangerous.
“Come dance with me.” He whispers against my ear.
His voice sounds like sin. Dark and tempting.
Why can I never say no to him? I guess I’ll just have to repent later.
When we get onto the dance floor, Conor pulls me against him. Our bodies are pressed together, his hand resting at the bottom of my back while I circle mine around his neck.
“You know,” I say, trying desperately to keep the jealousy out of my voice, “the last time I was in this bar, you were dancing with another woman like this.”
“Oh yeah?” His mouth quirks up in a smile. “If I remember correctly, you were dancing with Max the same way, just two steps beside me.”
“I didn't think you noticed me.” I admit in a small voice.
“Like I said before, I’ve always noticed you.” I rest my head against his chest. And just like at the party last week, this feels right. Too right. “Can I admit something?” He asks. I tilt my head up to look at him. “I was doing it to make you jealous.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “No you weren't."
“Yes I was.” His eyes hold mine. “I saw you watching and I wanted you to feel something.”
“But you kissed her. That was an ‘I want to fuck you kiss’.”
Conor leans down, his mouth brushing against my ear. “I was pretending I was kissing you.” He whispers.
My breath catches in my throat. Conor reaches up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear before resting his forehead against mine as we sway to the music. Two more songs pass before he speaks again. “Can I kiss you now?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Why?”
“Well, people have been watching us since we started dancing.” He says softly, his gaze bouncing between my eyes and my lips. “They might find it weird if I don’t kiss my girlfriend.” He studies my face, reading every ounce of hesitation, “You kissed me last week. What’s different this time?
Because last week wasn’t about you. Not at first anyway.
I had kissed him to make Max jealous, but somewhere along the way, Max seemed to disappear and Conor was the only one I could see.
That’s why this time is different, because I don’t want to kiss him to feed others the narrative that we’re together. I want to kiss him because it’s him.
“Okay.” I whisper, my heart pounding so violently in my chest that it physically hurts.
Conor’s face inches closer, close enough that I can feel his breath against my lips. Just before his lips touch mine, a wicked smirk spreads across his face. “Can I grab your ass too?”
A laugh escapes me before I can stop it. “Oh shut up.” I grab the front of his shirt, yank him the rest of the way towards me and crash my lips against his.
His hold on me tightens as his lips move against mine. I used to think the movies were talking shit when they said fireworks explode when you kiss someone but now, with the stars dancing behind my closed eyelids, I can't help but wonder if it’s true as Conor sweeps his tongue along mine.
This kiss is a whole lot more than our last one. More fire, more touching, more need.
His hand slowly moves up my body, leaving a hot trail of fire underneath my skin.
His fingers snake through my hair, tilting my head back for better access.
God, this man is a good kisser. I’m starting to hate myself for not doing this sooner.
And I'm also starting to hate every other woman who has felt what this man can do.
My phone in the back pocket of my jeans vibrates. The sudden sensation shocks me out of this heavenly trance.
Conor rests his forehead against mine again, both of us breathing heavily. “You think that was convincing enough?” He asks, breaking the silence between us.
I giggle before answering, “If we were a couple of horny teenagers, then yeah I think it was.”
My phone vibrates again and again. “Seems like someone really wants to talk to you.” Conor pulls his forehead away from mine, but his eyes never leave my face.
I can't help but stare at his swollen, pink lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again.
I feel alive. More alive than I've felt in years.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, eyeing the screen.
Liam<3: Hi
Liam<3: Whatcha up to?
Liam<3: I'm bored.
Liam<3: You know how you said I could come visit soon?
Me: Hey. I'm out with Liv. Is everything okay?
Liam<3: Is Livvy still with that douchebag?
I burst out laughing. I show Conor the text and he laughs too. “Liam has been crushing on Liv since he was like five.”
“Poor kid is just waiting for his chance.”
“He’ll be waiting for a while.”
Me: Yes she is.
Me: And he's not a douchebag. I actually think you'd love him.
Liam<3: Funny.
Liam<3: Why don’t you live with Max anymore?
Oh shit. My stomach drops. How the hell did he find out?
Me: Who told you that?
The three little dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.
“What’s wrong?” Conor asks, noticing the change in my expression. I don’t answer him though.
Liam<3: His new girlfriend.
My blood runs cold.
“Sash, what is it?” I barely hear him. My fingers move like rapid fire as they fly across the screen.
Me: What are you talking about?
Liam<3: I'm at your apartment.
My heart stops as I stare at the screen. No. No, no, no. I read the message again, convinced I’ve somehow read it wrong.
I watch as the typing bubble appears and disappears again. What the fuck is he doing? My pulse pounds in my ears.
Then another message comes through.
Liam<3: Well Max's apartment.
I stop breathing. I stop thinking. I can’t even begin to process the words staring back at me.
Max’s apartment. The place I lived with Max. The place where I’m technically still supposed to be living because I didn’t want to tell my little brother the truth.
Shit.