17
Conor
I’ve never seen Sasha look as panicked as she did at the bar. I honestly can’t blame her.
Her fourteen-year-old brother travelled from New York to Florida on his own without telling anyone. That's what we’ve gathered from the phone call Sasha had with him while we were running down the street to her old apartment.
“I can’t believe he did that!” Sasha shouts, tears streaming down her cheeks. “That was so reckless. Did he not fucking think about everything that could have went wrong?”
We slow to a walk as we approach the apartment building, both of us struggling to catch our breath.
“Some people with ADHD can be really impulsive and make bad decisions without thinking it through first.”
Sasha stops walking, turning to face me. “How do you know that?”
“I, umm…” Fuck! “After you told me about Liam, I did some research.” Her eyes immediately soften, some of her fear and anger rushing out of her at my statement.
Guilt punches me straight in the chest. Why did I not just tell her the truth?
Fuck, I’m an asshole. I’ve spent so long hiding my diagnosis that the lie just slipped out without a second thought. See? Impulsive and bad decisions!
“I haven't heard from my parents.” She says, walking towards the entrance again. “Do you think they even know he’s gone?”
“I don’t know, Angel. It’s what, a twenty-two hour bus ride from New York to here? They should know he’s gone by now.”
“Then why didn't they call me?” She snaps, the words coming out harsher than she intended. She immediately winces. “I’m sorry. Let’s just go in and get him.”
We take the elevator to the sixth floor in silence. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, so I say nothing at all. When the elevator doors ping open, Sasha storms down the hallway and starts hammering on Max’s door.
The second the door swings open, Liam is there. Sasha visibly relaxes and pulls her little brother into her arms so tightly I’m surprised he can even breathe. I say little brother but he actually towers over his sister.
Max is standing in the open doorway watching Sasha with a look I recognize immediately. Regret. Maybe even awe. He lost the right to look at her like that when he fucked it all up between them and he needs to stop before I pummel him.
It still baffles me how anyone would cheat on this woman. She’s incredible. Smart, sassy, funny, and beautiful. She’s everything I could ask for in a partner and more. Stupid fucker. He has lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and I bet he’s only realizing that now.
He wouldn’t need to come sniffing back around Sasha again. I’ll cut off his balls and shove them down his throat if he even tries. What if she wants him to though? She wouldn’t, would she? No, I know she wouldn't. This asshat hurt her too much, she would never go back to him. I think.
Sasha finally pulls away from Liam, placing her hands on his face and looking him up and down. “You’re not hurt, are you?”
“Relax, Sashabear, I’m fine.” I chuckle at the nickname drawing the attention of both him and Max. Liam’s eyes widen. “Holy shit!” He practically shoves Sasha out of the way, moving in front of me. “You’re Conor Matthews.”
“Language!” Sasha snaps, rolling her eyes.
I grin and stick my hand out for him to shake. “Nice to finally meet you, Liam.”
“Sash, did you hear that?” He looks at his sister like I’ve just announced that I personally invented oxygen. “Conor Matthews knows my name!”
I glance at Sasha. She’s holding back a smile. Then, my eyes then travel to Max whose face is so twisted it looks like he’s severely constipated. I almost laugh. I bet he never got this reaction from Liam when he and Sasha were dating. Loser.
“Come on, let's go home.” Sash says, pushing Liam’s back so he walks towards the elevator. “Thank you, Max.” She calls behind her, not even sparing him a second glance and for some reason, a sense of pride fills my chest.
We leave the building and start walking towards Sasha’s place, with Liam talking my ear off the whole way. I was exactly like him when I was younger… Never knew when to shut the hell up.
“I love you, Conor Matthews.”
“You’re so cool, Conor Matthews.”
“Can I get a picture or an autograph, Conor Matthews?”
It’s laughable how he can’t just say my first or last name. He has to use both each time.
“You know you can just call him Conor, right?” Sasha says from beside me.
“Really?” Liam looks towards me with wide eyes again. “I can?”
“Yeah, buddy, you can.”
“Sasha! Did you hear that? Conor Matthews called me buddy.” I burst out laughing. This is so entertaining. Sure, I’ve had kids excited to meet me before, but never with this much enthusiasm. “This is the best day of my life.” He lets out a happy sigh.
We’re almost back at Sasha’s when Liam stops walking. “Wait a minute.” He points between Sash and me. “Why are you two together?”
“You’re seriously only noticing that now?” Sasha asks.
“Well, yeah. I’ve been distracted.” He says, his hand waving in my direction.
“Unbelievable.” Sash mutters, walking on ahead of us.
“Don’t think we’re not having a talk about all of this when we get home.
” She calls over her shoulder, marching faster up the street.
She needs a minute to herself, I get that, so me and Liam stay behind.
She was worried sick about him as soon as she got that text.
Her emotions are running wild right now and Liam not seeming to care about what he’s done is driving her insane.
“Your sister was really worried about you, you know?” I say to Liam when Sasha is out of earshot.
“Why?”
I stare at him. Surely he’s not that clueless. “Because you’re only a kid and you travelled across the country by yourself without telling anyone.”
“I’m fine though. She worries too much.”
“I don't know about that.” I tell him, “If I was her and you were my brother, I think I'd be a hell of a lot more worried and a hell of a lot more angry right now.” Liam looks up with big round eyes, realization finally coming to him. I hate that I was the one to make him understand and not his sister, but it’s good that someone can. “Just apologize to her, okay?”
“Yeah, alright.” He hangs his head in shame.
“Good.”
We get back to Sasha’s place five minutes later and Liam is already back to his normal, hyper self. “I’m gonna let you two talk. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I tell Sasha, leaning over to plant a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
“Oh my God. Conor Matthews just kissed you!” Liam shouts.
Sasha glares at her little brother but all I can do is laugh.
“Get in there. Now.” Her voice has that unmistakable ‘don’t fuck with me right now’ tone.
He does as he’s told, rambling under his breath that this has been the best day ever.
Granted it’s only been about thirty minutes and that makes me laugh even more.
“I’m sorry about him.” Sash says, running her hands down her face. “He can be a lot.”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind.” Her gaze softens at my words.
God, I wanna kiss her again. It was stupid of me to ask her for a kiss because now I never want to stop kissing her.
I knew after that last kiss that if it happened again, I wouldn’t be able to get enough and now look at me, ready to get on my knees and beg her to kiss me again.
Her gaze travels to my lips and hers twitches, fighting back a smile.
She takes her bottom lip between her teeth, biting down hard. My entire body goes still.
“You can stay if you want to.” I can see her pulse racing on her slender neck, her eyes flaring, her body leaning closer to mine.
Fuck, I want to. I would love nothing more than to stay here with her, but I can’t. “Not tonight.” I step closer until there’s barely any space left between us. Her chest brushes against mine every time she breathes. Eyes up, Matthews. “I just think he would listen better if I wasn’t there.”
“Yeah, okay.” She says on a breathy whisper, those deep brown eyes staring into my own.
I take her face in my hands, tilting her head up.
“Goodnight, beautiful.” I lean down, placing a quick kiss on her forehead this time and pull myself away.
It would be so easy to pin her against that door and take her lips again.
To kiss her until neither of us remember why we ever tried to keep this thing simple.
But I force myself to walk away and I don’t look back. Because if I do, I’ll turn around, and I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to leave a second time. I am so fucking gone for this woman. And I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to pretend I’m not.
Rejecting her at the party was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. She told me she wanted me and I said no. Not because I didn’t want her. God, I wanted her too much. That was the problem.
The need to bend her over against the bathroom sink, kneel on the floor and taste her pussy was so fucking strong. The need to carry her back to the bed and fuck her until she screamed my name was all I could think about.
I hate myself for turning her down. But, I would have hated myself even more if we’d gone there and she woke up the next morning with regrets. I said no for my own ego, but also for her. She was drunk and I wasn’t taking advantage of that.
Once I have this woman, I want it to be because she chose me. Without any hesitation and with no regrets. And someday she will. I know it. Because the moment she does, I already know one thing for certain.
I’m never letting her go.