Chapter 31
I’m relieved when the knock echoes throughout my apartment. After Eli told me he wasn’t relieved, I knew it wouldn’t take much of a nudge for one or both of us to cave. And the last thing we need is for Z to show up while we’re in the throes again.
Walking over to the door, pulling it open, I smile at my brother standing there.
“Why did I have to come?” Z sounds annoyed with me already.
I push him back by the chest as I step out the door, closing it behind me. “Okay, look, you need to see this, but you have to make me a promise first.”
He rolls his eyes, already annoyed with this and not knowing what’s happening.
“Promise not to freak out.”
He just looks down at me, even more annoyed.
“Zane…” I trail off, just staring at him.
“Fine. Fine. I won’t freak out.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Turning, I push the door back open.
“What did you do?” he asks as he steps into the room behind me. “Why is Eli here?” he quietly asks me.
“It’s not really so much what I did.” In another situation, it would bring a little light to the situation.
Eli doesn’t look at us, but just continues to stare down at the ground.
I’m not really sure what’s going through his head at the moment; maybe he’s just nervous to have all of this coming to light.
I know he’s aware of how Z will react, and maybe he assumes if he lets him process it before even looking at him, it’ll be better.
“What?” Z looks over at me, confused for a moment.
I see the exact moment it registers, and the anger comes across his face.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” He shouts it at me, at Eli; I’m not really sure who.
Taking a step back, he turns, looking at the door and shaking his head.
Spinning around quickly, he glares in my direction, only we’re both in his warpath at the moment.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” he shouts louder this time.
Seeing the red building on his face. I’m still not sure who exactly he’s talking to.
“Z…” I trail trying to get him to calm down. “You said you wouldn’t freak out.”
“That’s before I knew you were getting me over here to ambush me about fucking my — a cop.”
I know he was going to say my friend, but quickly changed it.
“Do you have any idea what kind of jeopardy that puts us all in?” I can see the conflicting feelings he has about Eli written on his face. Both of the things he said are true. “What fucking information did he try to get out of you?”
“Nothing, Z. Stop.” I put my hands up.
“No, Drew, how could you be so stupid?”
“Z.” Eli stands up from the couch, giving him a warning tone.
“Shut the fuck up!” he shouts back, pointing at him.
“No, you shut the fuck up and let her talk!” Eli shouts before calming his voice and finishing. “You’re being a fucking dick.”
I watch my brother’s nostrils flare and know I need to interfere. “Alright,” I step between them, placing my hands on my brother’s chest, “we’re going to establish the same rules we’ve had.” I glance over at Eli, who looks away. “Everyone gets a corner; you don’t leave that corner.”
“That makes no sense. Why would you need corners?” Z asks.
“To keep space.” I tell him, and I swear I see Eli flinch as if he’s been hit.
“What — why — what’s going on? Why would you need space if you’re fucking?”
“Because we’re not together…anymore.” Hurt lingers through Eli’s words as he speaks, leaning over and bracing his forearms against his thighs.
“Then why are you here?” he asks as I walk over to the chair I’ve been sitting in. Making sure there’s still plenty of room between Eli and me.
“I needed to explain.” Eli whispers, just staring at the ground in front of him.
“Explain what?”
“Why we broke up.”
It actually makes me laugh when he says it. “We didn’t break up.” I snap at him. “When you break up with someone, you actually tell the other person. You don’t —” I’m exclaiming when I catch the surprised look on Z’s face. Exhaling as if I’m trying to release all the anger.
“I already explained that.” His voice is so quiet as he looks at me. I can see the grief on his face, but I’m not even sure if I can believe him.
“It’s not what this is about.” I glance over at my brother and then back to Eli. “Show ‘em.”
“Show me what?” Z seems interested now, as he leans against the counter.
“Part of his explanation.” I don’t look back at Z, just continue to stare at Eli, trying to stuff down all my hurt, all my heartbreak.
Eli runs his hands over his face before reaching to his side and tossing it at Z, as if he’s just trying to get it out of the way.
Grabbing it, he looks at him confused as he grips the leather, opening it up, exposing the kutte, the patches… all of it.
Z mouth parts as the shock spreads over his face. “Where’d you get this from?” I can see him racking his brain, just as I did when he first showed it to me, trying to remember where Dad’s is as well as everyone else’s.
“Show him the rest.” I tell Eli, who glances over at me before sighing.
He pulls his shirt up.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Z mutters under his breath, the door slamming as he storms out.
Getting up, I’m running out the door after him.
“Z! Wait!” I shout as I run down the stairs, but the door is already swinging shut. Picking up my speed, I’m out the door and grabbing his arm as he tries to leave, as if I’m back to being 8. “Stop, he can prove he’s telling the truth.”
“How, Drew?” he snaps, stopping and turning towards me. “With the UV tattoo on his chest in Dad’s goddamn handwriting?”
“How’d you know?”
“He’s not the only one I’ve seen with it.” He rolls his eyes as he walks back towards his bike.
“So that proves it.”
“What does it prove, Drew?” he takes a couple of steps back over to me.
“That Dad trusted him to give it to him.”
“And that means what to me?” he shouts again, stepping closer.
“Dad’s been dead for nine years. People change.
You just wanna feel better about whose dick you rode.
” The disgust is written all over his face, and seeing Z this mad at me makes the little sister come out, cowering back.
Not that I think he’d ever hurt me, but always trying to make him proud.
“Don’t fucking talk to her like that!” Eli’s voice is demanding as he walks up.
“Oh, you fuck my sister, so now you get to tell me how to talk to her!?” he snaps back at Eli, stepping in closer.
“You’re taking out your anger on her and being an asshole. You’re pissed at me, leave her out of it.” Eli deadpans at him.
I hear flesh and bone connecting before it registers to me that he punched Eli. He stares down at him. “Stay the fuck away from my club. And stay the fuck away from my sister.”
“That’s just it!” I shout back at Z, his head snapping to look at me.
“The club always comes first.” His eyes widen.
“Sure, you were upset when you found out about us, but when you found out about your precious club, that’s what really pissed you off, that’s what made you leave.
” All the anger I’ve ever felt towards life, towards Z, hell, the anger I have towards Eli, and especially all the anger I have towards the club comes out in an instant.
He doesn’t answer me. He just blinks at me for a second before finishing the walk to his bike, opening the saddle bag, slamming the kutte inside before slamming the lid shut.
The engine revs as his tires peel out of the parking lot.
“Eli.” I exhale, looking over at him and sighing. “I’m sorry.” I whisper, kneeling down to him and turning his face.
“I’m fine.”
“No, let me clean it up.” I can tell he’s about to argue with me about it. “Please, it’s the least I can do.” Staring at him for a moment, I can’t let myself get sucked into this again.
“I think I got a sense of how pissed he is, but how mad are you about it all?”
I sigh, not wanting to admit to him. “Let me get your face to stop bleeding.” I whisper as I look down at his bleeding lip and the sporadic pebbles that are pressed into the side of his face.
Helping him up, we walk up the stairs and back into the apartment.
“If he shows back up and I’m up here, he’ll kill me.”
“He’s not coming back.”
“How do you know?”
“Cause I told him the hard truth that he hasn’t wanted to hear for 9 years.”
I don’t need to look at him to know the look he’s giving me.
“He dropped out of school and came back for me. But he wasn’t ever there. They both missed my graduation.”
“What?”
“Yeah, Zeke was on the road and couldn’t get back. And Z had gotten arrested, the entire club had gotten arrested. It’s just like every time a significant moment in my life happens, my brothers are too busy.”
He just sighs as he looks at me, his rich eyes drawing me in. I know breaking our space rule is dangerous, but after what just happened, after what Z just said to me, I need to feel him.
Lifting the cloth to his lip and gently trying to dab it. Getting the blood to stop before moving over and picking the couple of pieces of gravel out of his face.
“I’m sorry, I got you punched.” I can’t help but laugh a little as he stands up, glancing in the mirror.
“It’s cool. It’s been a while. I think I’d forgotten how hard he can hit.” Looking up at me, he smirks. “And I told you it was bound to happen.”
It makes me laugh as I meet his eyes. “Do you regret it?” I can’t help but ask him.
“Regret what?” He asks. “Us?”
Slowly, I nod my head.
He clears his throat, leaning in to me before hesitating. Feeling his breath on me for the first time in almost a year makes my heart flutter. “I need to get out of here.” He gasps as if he just realized what he’s about to let himself do, and regretting it before it happens.
I stand shocked as the door slams shut with his brisk exit.
“Oh, hell no,” I mutter and chase after him out of the building.
“Elias!” I’m shouting after him from across the parking lot. “You don’t get to walk away and not answer.”
He turns back towards me, smirking. “Do you?”
“Never.” I shake my head, fighting a smile from my face. “Now you have to answer.”
“I can’t.” He calls back to me.
“Why not?”