Chapter 31 #2
The smirk shifts to a cocky expression. He doesn’t even wince as the cut opens, small droplets of blood peeking through. He walks back over to me. I’m stuck in a daze as I stand, not being able to move. Not being able to take my eyes off him.
A gasp leaves me as he grips the back of my neck, slamming his lips down onto mine.
My hearts in my throat as I kiss him back, gripping onto his shirt and pulling him in closer to me.
His tongue snaking its way into my mouth.
The emotion wells up inside me as the moment wraps me up, passion bubbling up through my body.
Slowing our kiss, he pulls back first as his hand lingers on my neck.
My eyes open to his dark ones staring back.
There’s a hint of happiness in them as he looks back at me.
“Cause Sketch, you may not be ready to forgive me, but we’re not done yet.
” He doesn’t wait for me to respond before he struts back across the parking lot, pushes his head inside the helmet, kicks over the bike, and starts it.
When he looks up at me, I can’t see anything except for the helmet, but I can’t move from the spot, fighting with myself to keep my goddamn mouth shut.
Lifting the visor, I can see the seriousness in his eyes as he motions, pointing to himself, and then holds up 2 fingers.
Me too.
As if he could read my mind, and how I wanted to tell him I love him.
I can’t move as he revs the engine and moves out of the parking lot. Feeling the weight of everything, wanting to change my mind, wanting to tell him to stay, wanting to forgive him.
But I’m still mad at him, and I know as soon as the lust-haze dissipates with the distance, the anger will be back.
The longer I stand on the sidewalk, watching him, the feeling that I’m being watched creeps through me.
Glancing around, I see the culprit as I recognize the bike sitting in the neighboring parking lot. My brother looks at me before backing out the bike and then riding across the street and back into the lot for my building.
“I guess I was wrong.” I mutter to myself.
He kicks over the bike and walks the couple of steps back to me.
“I’m sorry.”
Cutting my eyes at him. “I’m not the only one you should apologize to.”
“Oh, I’m not sorry for that.” He points in the direction Eli rode off in. “You’re right. I didn’t know what I was doing… with any of it. You were still a kid; you needed —”
“Stop, I didn’t need another parent. I’ve only ever needed you to be my brother and to be there for me.”
He nods his head, and I swear I think I see a slight tear in his eye.
“They raised us to be okay without them, and as long as we lean on each other when we need it, nothing can break us. The problem is that somewhere along the way we forgot that part.” I pause, both of us nodding.
“But I’m okay. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve had my heart broken, but because of the way they raised us, I’m okay. ”
“You have her strength.” He smiles as he tells me.
“The thing is, if she would’ve lived, I don’t think she would’ve been okay.”
“You’re right, it would have broken her.” He shakes his head. “Love makes you act in ways you never thought you could.”
“I know.” I whisper.
It’s almost comical when Z looks back in the direction that Eli drove off in.
“Don’t be mad at him forever; let him explain.”
He turns, looking at me, and I can still see the anger all over his face. “How do you think Dad would feel about this?”
It almost makes me laugh as I nod my head. “I know he’d be okay with it.”
“How?” he snips out at me.
“Odi et amo.” I whisper.
“What?” he pauses.
Z expression changes as he looks back at me.
“It’s what his tattoo says, the ink was to show you guys that he was telling the truth, but the words were for me.”
“Did he tell you why he kept it a secret?”
“He did. He told me everything.” I nod along.
“And what was it?”
“Na uh, that’s between you two. You wanna find out why, you talk to him.”
“You forgive him for whatever it is he did. I’m still not exactly sure what, and honestly, I’m pretty sure it’s best if I never know.”
“Not yet.” I pause, looking back at him. “But I will.”
He laughs as he hugs me tightly. Before letting go, he walks back over to his bike, pausing as he gets up to it, and turning back towards me. “Do you know why he lived with us through the last year of school?”
“No,” I shake my head.
“His dad got really mean when he drank. Eli showed up at the house one night, late as hell, fucked up; you’d already gone to bed.
Mom tried to get him to go to the hospital, but he refused.
So obviously, she called Dan. Mom’s running between Eli’s room and Dad because Dad’s seeing red.
He’s saying how he’s gonna kill him with his bare fucking hands. ”
My eyes widen the further he goes into the story.
“Mom finally has Dad calmed down when Dan tells them how bad it was, that he was asleep, but he was obviously concussed, so we needed to wake him up every few hours. None of us even saw Dad leave. We heard the truck start, and all 4 of us said, ‘Aw, fuck’.”
“What’d he do?”
“I don’t know; he never told us exactly.
He was gone for 2 days. When he came back, he was covered in blood.
He said that he told him to leave town and that if he ever heard of him contacting his son again, he would finish what he started.
Mom went the next day and told his mom to sign a power of attorney, and they paid off her house. ”
“Why?”
“Cause she would only do it for a price. Mom threatened to get the police involved, but she told her to do it. She didn’t care.”
“She sold her son?”
“You may want to listen to your own advice.” Nodding his head. “We all have complicated emotions when it comes to our parents.” He turns back towards the bike before hesitating and looking back. “Just don’t tell him I said all that.”
“I thought you didn’t like it?”
“Oh, I don’t.” He shakes his head. “But if he makes you happy, that’s something I have to deal with.
As much as I may hate it, I can learn to accept a lot of things if it means you being happy.
” He reaches over, pulling me in for a hug, his voice lowering as he finishes.
“That’s why I walked out when I did.” Pulling back, he looks at me, his hands still on my shoulders.
“It’s not that the club means more. Quite the opposite.
For you, I’d force myself to look past any anger I have about the situation, if it means you’re happy and being treated well.
I’ll learn to live around him. As much as I hate him, I know he’ll treat you well. ”
“You’re such a damn liar.” I laugh.
“What?”
“I was there when you showed up at his house drunk off your ass and in tears.”
“What?” he looks nervously around.
“I hid in the bedroom. You showed up there because you needed your friend. And when he called you for help because he needed a friend. You showed up as well.”
His eyes look at me as they seem to register something.
“Do you think you really hate him? Or are you hurt because you thought you were getting your friend back and now you’re not sure if it’s genuine?”
“That’s… uh… that’s a good point.” He nods his head.
“How do you know?”
He doesn’t respond, just gives me a questioning look.
“You said he makes me happy; how do you know?”
“I just watched the two of you together. Even upstairs, I could tell. If he didn’t make you happy and if you weren’t in love with him, you wouldn’t look at each other the way you both do, and you wouldn’t care this much.”
“Are you gonna scare him?”
He doesn’t answer me; just a large smile spreads across his face, “I won’t do anything.”
“No.” I laugh out loud. “Don’t let Zeke…”