Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
JAMISON
This situation with Dori is going to kill me. My nerves spike, and my heart jumps over a few beats as soon as I see her lurking next to Hunter’s door.
Just when I think I’m safe and in control, something happens that puts me right back at square one.
Dori’s eyes widen, and she trips over herself. “Shit. I think I’m going to faint.”
I grab her by the arms. “Let me help you to a place where you can sit.”
She nods and I lead her to Hailey’s desk chair. Dori takes a second to catch her breath.
Hunter opens his door and peers out. “Is everything okay out here?”
Dori stares blankly his way. He looks in my direction and I shrug. He glares at me like he suspects something, but whatever. He shakes his head and goes out of sight as he closes the door.
There’s got to be a way for Dori not to cause this intense reaction in me every time I have to deal with her. She makes my blood race .
As I try to relax, I calm her down. “Why are you hanging out in front of Hunter’s door.”
She shakes her head. “I’m fine. You can go do whatever you were here to do.”
“You’re practically hyperventilating. I’m not leaving you.”
“I was a little light-headed, but that has passed.” She rises to her feet. “What are you doing up here?”
“I needed to grab some paper out of the copy room.” I glance over my shoulder to that area.
She shrugs at my explanation and walks toward her office. She never tells me why she was standing in front of Hunter’s door.
At this point, I don’t care. He’s not my problem anymore.
I’m glad I’m home now, but I still have a lot on my mind.
A message beeps on my phone. I glance at the screen.
Lauren: I got your message. We can talk when I feel like it.
I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands and groan. I know not to engage with her when she’s in a bad mood, so I don’t respond. The light at the end of the tunnel is near.
Just a few more things to deal with, then I can go to Dori and try to work it out. I just hope I can let myself go there again. This last time she hurt me was brutal.
My chest tightens just remembering that night. It would be easy to walk away if I didn’t love her. And truthfully, I don’t want to stop. This might be our only chance to see where we could take our relationship.
There’s a knock on the front door, so I leave my upper-level office and hop down the stairs from my second floor. I peek through the peephole and find Dori pacing back and forth in front of my closed door.
I pull it open while I try to stop my accelerated pulse. “Dori, what are you doing here?”
“Can I come in? I need to talk to you about a few things.” She’s wearing Christmas-colored plaid leggings, a pink cropped sweater with little red hearts all over it, and black Ugg boots.
It’s a horrible outfit, making it impossible not to laugh. “Please, come in.”
“Why are you laughing at me?” She steps in as I move aside.
I shut the door behind her. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
She toes off her boots and scowls. “For your information, it’s not nice to make fun of someone. You have no idea what I went through that made me have to wear this outfit. Besides, it’s not that bad.”
That makes me laugh harder. “You look like a Christmas outfit and a Valentine’s Day ensemble had a baby. Mix that with your red hair and I don’t know what to make of it.”
She glances over her outfit and then back at me.
A second passes and she laughs along with me. “It’s an embarrassing story, but at least we’re starting this off with humor.”
“Tell me why you’re here and we can discuss your fashion choices later.” I run my hand over my mouth to hold back another fit of laughter.
“Thanks for letting me in.” She glances up the stairs to where my office is. “How did I not notice you had a second level the last time I was here?”
“It’s always been there, so I don’t know how you missed it. I was just up there and left the lights on, so that could be why.” I step out of the foyer. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Sure. You’ll have to take me on a tour of your place when we’re done.” She strides over to the bottom of the stairs and my heart leaps out of my chest.
“What do you want to drink?” I holler to her to move her attention away from the upstairs.
We won’t be taking a tour up there. She can’t explore that part of my apartment until we’ve had a considerable discussion. We’re far from where that can occur, so it will have to wait.
“What do you have?” She steps away and strolls my way.
“Anything you want.”
“Then I’d love an eggnog.” She joins me, snickering under her breath.
She’s in an awfully good mood.
“Yeah, I don’t have eggnog, so can I offer you something else?” I go to the end of my kitchen and into my simple bar area.
“Wine if you have it.”
“Wine it is. Red or white?”
“Red sounds good since it’s cold outside.” Her gaze sweeps around my kitchen. “I don’t remember your place being so spacious and modern. Did you have work done?”
“No. It’s always looked like this.” I take the wine out and meet her at the center island. “You weren’t here that long the last time you were here, so maybe it didn’t register.”
“Yeah, that must be it. It’s a beautiful setup.” She leans her hip against the counter and faces me.
“I don't think you came over to talk about my decor, so tell me why you’re here.”
“The last time you and I talked, you said we could start working on our friendship. Lately, it feels like you don’t want to talk to me unless it concerns work.” She moves her thick auburn hair over one of her shoulders.
Jesus, she’s beautiful even in the worst outfit ever.
“We’ve been busy. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you. I just haven’t had a lot of time.” I finish opening the wine and turn to get two glasses.
“But you had enough time to go to dinner with Ava Aldridge.”
“How do you know about that?” My heart skips a beat as I place the glasses down and fill them.
“I overheard her and Isabella exchanging words this morning. It got brought up, and I happened to be in the hallway.” She shrugs like she’s unfazed, but her sad green eyes give her away.
It upset her that I was out with Ava. I shouldn’t revel in Dori’s unhappiness, but I feel justified.
She’s hurt me more times than I can count by flaunting other men in my face. So yeah, I guess I’m still a little angry with her.
I nod. “So that’s what you were doing when I found you eavesdropping.”
“It happened before you found me. And I wasn’t eavesdropping. I was getting ready to speak with Hunter after my meeting with Jonah, but I heard them arguing. That’s something different altogether.”
I hand her a drink and she takes it, bringing it to her lips. She sips on it while I get mine.
“Did you get any good tidbits?” I smirk and hold out my glass for her to toast with me.
“Oh, sorry. I already took a sip, but cheers.” She taps her glass with mine. “I don’t want to talk about Ava and Hunter right now. I want to talk about other things.”
“I’m all ears.” I move to the other side of the island and pull out two stools. “Take a seat.”
She sits next to me. “If we’re going to start building a friendship, I want to be able to talk to you about things that aren’t work related.”
“What exactly are you looking for, Dori?”
“I don’t know, but why haven’t we been talking? ”
“We’ve been busy at work. The holidays are right around the corner, and I’m still working on getting over what happened.”
Her shoulders slump. “I said I was sorry. Please try to forgive me for being so hurtful.”
“I am, but I won’t force this. And I’m definitely not going down another path with you when you’re still with Hunter. We can be friends, but not the kind of friends who hang out. It’s too hard.”
I study her beautiful face, and once again, I have the urge to lean over and kiss her. Needing the space, I get up and grab some crackers out of the cabinet.
She follows me around my kitchen with her gaze. “I understand what you’re saying, but I want to be able to do things together. You go to dinner with Melanie and Ava. Why can’t we do that?”
“If you don’t know the difference between me going to dinner with them and going to dinner with you, then you don’t understand me at all.” I continue to scour the kitchen for snacks.
She pauses for a moment, seeming to consider what I said as she takes another sip of wine. “You should know I’m not with Hunter.”
I stop what I’m doing. “How did that happen?”
At least he’s keeping his end of the bargain so far. I didn’t think he would be able to do it.
“I told him I needed time apart. All he and I can do is hang out in a private place. There’s a ton of romantic pressure, and I don’t like it.”
“I can’t say I blame you.”
She twists off the stool and comes to my side. “I miss you, Jami.”
“Dori… I can’t do this.”
“What? We’re talking and working things out so we can be friends again.” She says one thing, but her eyes are begging me to kiss her.
My pulse accelerates and my chest suddenly tightens. I’m about to grab her and force her against the counter while I make out with her and taste her sweet mouth. Instead, I swallow and step aside.
“We are friends. We’ll always be friends.” I open the refrigerator and grab some cheese.
She turns her body while leaning on the counter. “Is that all it will ever be? Friends that say hi as they pass each other in the hall?”
“Jesus Christ, Dori. A month ago, we were so close to being something more. It got destroyed in one night. I don’t know how you expect me to go from that to whatever it is you’re asking me for right now.”
“But things can change if you want them to.”
I toss the cheese on the island and shake my head. “I don’t work like you do. My feelings don’t ebb and flow like the ocean tide.”
Her posture softens as she glances down. She sags like a dying flower trying to hang on for one more day. “I guess I finally broke us.”
Seeing her look so hopeless makes my insides clamp down. Most of me wants to take her in my arms and tell her we’ll be fine, but I’m still grieving.
If I hold her, all my pain will resurface and I’ll seek comfort in her arms. It’ll confuse the fuck out of both of us.
“Look, we’re not broken. It’s just that I’m still working through what happened. Like I said to you that day, losing our baby hurt me too. You don’t know how much I wanted…” Unexpected turmoil gets caught in my throat.
I swallow it and retreat to the family room. I sit on my sofa and stare at the floor while running my hands over my face.
The morning Aiden and I entered her loft, and she was in bed with Hunter, takes center stage in my head. Remembering what she did the night before causes bile to churn in my stomach.
Fuck, if she puts me through something like that ever again, it would bury me alive. The worst part is I can’t walk away from her. She has my soul in her hands and I’ll forever be at her mercy.
The cushion dips as she sits next to me and runs her warm hand over my back. “I’ll never be able to apologize enough for what I did to you. There’s no excuse in the world for it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I stay bent over because if I sit up, I’ll let her ease my pain any way she wants.
“We need to or else we’ll never get through it. You’ll end up putting walls up so high, I’ll never be able to get over them.” Her hand moves to the far side of my back and she leans in as she hugs me.
I sink into it and allow her to give it to me. If I’m being honest, I need it more than anything. Since the day we found out she was pregnant, I haven’t had any form of physical interaction with a woman. I’m starving for it.
As she hugs me, my agony starts to break away. Maybe we can find our way back to a place where we trust each other.
It’s where I’ve been trying to get to since she came to my office and wanted to clear the air. I want it, but we have a long way to go before we get there.
I sit straight and turn to her. “My walls aren’t up high, Dori. If anything, they’re too low.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I need to get my wine. Do you want yours?” I stand to get away from her.
One more second and I would’ve been on top of her, stripping her bare of her ridiculous outfit.
“Sure. I’ll even help you put together some appetizers.” She stands and shimmies her way into the kitchen. “Bet you didn’t expect to have a dinner companion tonight. Did you? ”
She’s being playful, pushing a forgiveness button in me. I smile and take in all her beauty.
This is when I find her the most attractive. She lets down all her defenses and relaxes into who she is at her core. My eyes shine her way, soaking up every inch of her.
I love her so fucking much it hurts.
I sigh. “It’s too bad you carry so much on your shoulders.”
Her brow creases. “What does that mean?”
“When you let yourself be who you are right now, you radiate like the sun.” I cringe at myself the moment I say it.
Yes, I heard how cheesy it sounded. It just came out of my mouth.
She blushes and tucks her hair behind her ear. “Even in my Christmas and Valentine’s Day had sex outfit?”
“Honestly, your clothes are the cherry on top. Everything about you right now is what makes you so beautiful.” My chest heats and I need air fast.
She takes my breath away. Our eyes connect and fire sparks between us. The room becomes engulfed in flames in a flash.
Her eyes ignite with lust. “Do you remember when you said you wondered if I tasted like cherries?”
Fucking cherries.
My knees almost buckle, and my dick instantly starts to get hard. I clear my throat because there’s a ball of desire choking me. I turn away and focus on making appetizers.
I keep my gaze away from her because I was about to take her in my kitchen two seconds ago. “Yes. I was trying to get under your skin. Don’t be mad about it. I was being ornery because you had picked Hunter.”
“I’m not mad about it. If anything, I haven’t stopped thinking about it.” She slinks to my side.
Her soft lavender and vanilla scent circles around us. I have one second before I snap.
The room’s a raging wildfire out of control. My heart hammers against my chest. If I look at her, I’m burning embers, soon to be ash.
I try to change the subject to gain some control. “Well, we didn’t end up using them in that part of the app, so maybe there’s another place we can find to use them.”
That’s it. Talk about the app.
It’s safe and not filled with sexual tension. It’s the only way I’ll make it out of this situation intact.
“I don’t want to talk about work.” She slides her hand up my arm and to the back of my neck. “Jami, look at me.”
I turn and gaze into her soul-gripping eyes. “Dori, this is a bad idea.”
“Why? Give me one good reason why I should stop pursuing you.” She doesn’t move. “Is that what you want? If it is, I’ll stop and leave you alone.”
“You know that’s not the case.”
“Then relax and let this happen.”
Her face turns red and her breathing kicks into high gear. I give up. She’s fire and her flames set me ablaze.
There’s no getting away from this beautiful temptress. I’m a lost cause, and now she’s going to make sure I know she’s in charge.
Her lusty eyes shine. “I want this, Jami, and so do you. Why try to deny it?”