Chapter 30
THEO
“I love you,” I murmured against Simon’s lips, smiling down at him. I’d slept over in his childhood bedroom before—we’d shared this bed before—but it still felt new and exciting as I straddled him under the covers, sheets rustling as I moved, the whole house still except for the two of us.
“You said,” Simon teased, eyes glinting in the light of the duck-shaped bedside lamp.
I had said. I’d said it probably three dozen times in the past four hours.
Saying it once had triggered an addiction I’d never feel the need to give up.
Even if it didn’t make me deliriously happy to hear myself say those words aloud to the only person I’d ever really wanted to say them to, the way it made Simon look at me would’ve been enough.
“You sure?” I asked, smile widening. My face hurt from the amount of smiling I’d done since I arrived here, but I didn’t plan on stopping.
“Gosh, now that you mention it…” Simon smiled just as wide back at me. Neither of us had been able to stop.
“I’d better say it again.” I ran my fingers through his hair, eager to touch as much of him as I could without feeling as though I was stealing something. “I love you.”
“I’m not gonna get tired of that, for the record.” Simon grinned up at me. I ran my hand down to trace the shape of it on his lips. “I love you, too,” he added, pressing a kiss to the pad of my thumb as I brushed it over his mouth.
I bent down to kiss him, wriggling down to settle firmly on his hips. We’d both already stripped down to t-shirts and underwear for bed, which meant I could feel the effect this was having on him.
I wanted him. Needed him, if he’d have me, as final confirmation this was all okay. That it was real.
“Simon,” I murmured against his lips. “Can we…?”
“I don’t have… anything, here,” he said, apologetic.
I kissed him again, long and slow, rolling my hips so he could feel how I was reacting to being close to him.
“Desperate as I am for you to spend hours making love to me,” I said, pausing to press kisses to the corner of his mouth, his chin, the line of his jaw, all the way to his ear. “I just want you to touch me tonight.”
Simon made a low, happy sound. My breath hitched as his hand curled around the back of my thigh, warm, dry palm sliding along the sensitive skin there, sending tingles of pleasure to the base of my spine.
“Exactly like that.”
He’d barely touched me and I was already breathless. Getting to be with Simon, for real, was going to ruin me for everyone else. Permanently.
That was fine. He was what I’d always wanted, and now that I had him, I was never, ever letting him go.
I caught his lips again, grinding down against him, feeling him hot and hard against me. He gasped into my mouth, fingers tightening on my thigh, his other hand stroking up over my ribs.
“I want, uh,” I pulled back to look him in the eyes, face hot. “You. In my mouth. If that’s…”
“You don’t—”
“I know,” I interrupted. If I’d thought about it for a second, I could’ve predicted that was exactly what he’d say. You don’t have to. “Will you respect me less if I tell you I really, really like sucking dick and I’ve spent a lot of time imagining sucking yours?”
Simon’s eyes widened. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips before vanishing again. “Obviously not,” he said. “But, really?”
I grinned down at him, rolling my hips again as I leaned in for another kiss.
“Really,” I murmured, rubbing our noses together.
“Really, really. I used to, uh. When we were watching movies together on the couch and you let me snuggle up to you? I used to imagine just… sliding to my knees and sucking you off. Or, God.” I paused, fingers tightening in the blankets as I ground down against him, so turned on by the thought of what I was planning to do that I couldn’t stop myself.
“When we used to study together, in the library, late at night? I used to jerk off afterward, imagining crawling under the desk and getting my mouth on you. You couldn’t stop me without getting us both kicked out and maybe expelled, so you’d just…
go with it. I wouldn’t have done it, obviously,” I added, pulling back to look Simon in the eyes. “But I liked thinking about it.”
Simon wet his lips again, eyes glinting as he looked over my face, pupils blown as wide as they’d go. “That’s…”
“Weird?”
“Hot,” Simon spoke over me. “So hot.”
The spilt second of tension in the pit of my stomach unspooled all at once, laughter replacing it. Of course he thought it was hot. Simon was perfect.
I surged forward to kiss him, tugging on his lower lip with my teeth, grinding against him as I trailed my hands down his body, over his t-shirt and then up under it, splaying them over his skin.
“You’re hot,” I murmured, pushing his shirt up to expose his stomach as I crawled my way down.
Simon gasped as I mouthed over the spot just under his ribs, squirming. He was ticklish, and I’d taken advantage of that many, many times before. Tonight, though, I had other plans.
“Shh,” I whispered against his skin. “Can’t let your parents hear.”
We were both adults, and I had no doubt they knew what we were up to whether they could hear it or not, but I liked the idea of this being our little secret, this time. No audience. As though we were nineteen again and sneaking around because we still thought we had to.
Simon raised a hand to his mouth, biting down on his thumb.
I grinned against his skin, scraping my teeth down to his hip as I curled a hand around it, pinning him to the mattress.
I knew he’d be careful with me. He’d stop me rather than risk hurting me, but I liked the fantasy that he might not be able to control himself because he wanted me that badly.
Besides, I did not want to stop. The salt of his skin under my tongue made my mouth water, and I knew it’d be even better when I got my lips wrapped around his cock, all that soft skin and heat and the sharp taste of precome spilling over my tongue.
It was always good, but Simon was going to ruin me.
I was going to let him.
I kept my eyes on his face as I nuzzled my way lower, watching it flush, pupils blown, teeth digging into his thumb as I licked a stripe next to his belly button. He whimpered as I sank my teeth in below it, sucking a mouthful of flesh hard enough to leave a bruise.
Maybe I should’ve asked, but Simon was mine. His paintball bruises had faded now. I wanted to leave a few fresh ones of my own.
I smiled against his skin as I mouthed my way to the crease of his thigh, nuzzling through the multi-colored polka dot print fabric of his underwear.
His hot, hard cock brushed against my cheek, and I rubbed against it, turning my head to mouth at him.
Simon whimpered again, stifled but still loud enough for me to hear.
Smirking, I hooked my thumb into his waistband and eased it down.
My tongue darted out to wet my lips as his cock sprang free, thick as I remembered, dark with blood, a glistening smear of precome coating the head.
Pulling his underwear down to tangle around his knees, I pressed my face to his stomach again, mouthing at the sensitive skin there just to hear him hiss and make him squirm.
The clean salt of his skin was addictive under my tongue, coating my lips.
I could’ve licked him from head to toe for hours and been thrilled about it.
Not nearly as thrilled as I was going to be about getting him in my mouth. In just a few more minutes, when he was ready to beg.
I wouldn’t make him. I just liked the idea of him being on the verge of it.
Happy sounds vibrated in my throat as I mouthed at the inside of his thighs, nipping in a few places to leave a scattering of smaller bruises where he’d feel them every time he moved. If I got this right, Simon would spend the rest of the weekend half-hard thinking about me and my mouth.
Then I’d make sure he spent the week thinking about me, and the rest of the month, year, decade… our lives, however long that was.
I wasn’t going to lose Simon. He wouldn’t let me.
He made a frustrated sound as I made it to his knee, thighs parting further as I pushed his underwear out of the way. I pressed a kiss to the side of his knee, letting my tongue linger against his skin while I met his gaze again under lowered lashes.
“Fuck,” he breathed, thumb still between his teeth. “Do you have any idea what you look like?”
I did, actually. I knew I looked good like this. That was the point.
I grinned at him before licking a stripe up the inside of his thigh, burying my nose in the crease again, breathing him in. The scent of him made my cock throb, a hot, urgent pulse of want. I’d waited long enough.
“Theo,” Simon whispered, trembling fingers brushing the shell of my ear.
I pushed my head into them as I shifted, hovering over his hard length. My mouth watered at the sight of the pearly bead of precome welling up at the head, and before I’d made a conscious decision to do it, I bent down to lap it up with the flat of my tongue.
Simon made a wounded sound, muffled by his thumb again, and something in me snapped. I had to have him in my mouth, right now.
He whimpered as I licked my way up the underside of his cock, swirling my tongue around the head before sealing my lips around it. A spurt of precome, hot and salty and Simon, smeared over my palate, making me swallow around him.
“Oh fuck, Theo,” Simon muttered. His fingers threaded gingerly into my hair, barely skimming my scalp. Careful not to hurt me.
I’d show him how I liked my hair pulled next time. Right now, I didn’t want to pull back to speak.
I closed my eyes as I took him further, moaning around him as he nudged the back of my throat. My gag reflex was long gone, and the stretch in my jaw made me shiver with arousal. He felt so fucking good. Of course he did. This was Simon.
He was made for me.