Chapter 14 - Caleb
We’ve been living together for more than a week, and despite time passing, I’m still nowhere closer to understanding Lila than I was that night.
The night she gave in just like I had, letting me touch her, taste her, and breathe her in like I’ve been dying to.
I finally felt her beneath me, almost like she never stopped wanting me.
It felt perfect, but maybe that was the problem.
Because now, she’s pulling back again, cautious and guarded as if us sleeping together never happened, as if she regrets every second of it.
I hate that coldness, but I also know I can’t be the same wolf I used to be. I can’t push her or make her uncomfortable.
So, I remind myself every day that patience is strength. It’s the one thing that might actually keep her around instead of breaking away when she has the chance.
Even when I wake up and the other side of the bed is cold without her pressed against me. Even when her absence feels like a bruise while the tether between us aches for that space to be closed.
It always feels like I’m searching for her warmth and her scent, but at the very least, she gives me pieces of herself, regardless of how small.
Whether it’s a glance during breakfast, a hesitant response when I tease her, or the moments when she almost forgets she’s supposed to be angry at me. I cling to those pieces, yet the wall always comes back up anyway.
I deserve it, but I’m greedy enough to want more anyway.
The transition from public service to Alpha has been easier with them, thankfully. I’ve been spending so much time with them that I haven’t had the time to feel alone after spending years with my comrades.
Of course, Lila doesn’t make it easy, but she doesn’t outright shove me away either. And Astrid has the most contagious laugh I’ve ever heard.
It doesn’t matter where I go in the house or what I’m doing; if she sees me, then she follows me. She rambles on about this and that as if she has known me since the day she was born.
While in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast, Astrid holds up a carved wolf that my mother received as a gift from another pack member when her pregnancy with me was announced, and she smiles.
“He looks like you,” she says, grinning.
I lift a brow at her. “Is that so?”
She nods like it’s obvious. “He’s grumpy.”
Even if she doesn’t mean to let it slip, I catch as Lila snorts from the next room over.
Playfully, I narrow my eyes at Astrid. “Did your mother teach you to say that?”
She looks up at me like I could never do anything wrong, then puts a hand against her forehead in exasperation, like I said the most ridiculous thing, and giggles. “No!”
Despite my amusement, something twists in my chest.
There have been moments when I swear even the smallest movements of hers mirror the things I do. Like the way she frowns while she’s concentrating, or how the faint dimples appear in her cheeks when she smiles really wide.
Even her hair, yet her eyes are the one thing that throws me off.
They look just like Lila’s. Green like the pines and filled with that same softness. Still, that’s expected. Whether she was mine or someone else’s…
But I shut the thought down quickly every time. It’s ridiculous, and it’s dangerous.
Having dark hair isn’t uncommon around here, and it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for her father to have the same.
Besides, Lila told me herself that it was someone else. Regardless of my suspicions, I have to trust her and remind myself that it’s likely just the bond drawing me to both of them. Given how dear Astrid is to her mother, it only makes sense for me to feel the same.
Later in the day, I’m just leaving the cafe after handling some pack business with Varic when Jack finds me. Corners me is more like it.
“Caleb,” he calls out, catching up as I reach my truck. “Got a minute?”
Despite holding the tray of drinks and a box of pastries for the girls, I set them on the seat and nod, already bracing myself. He hasn’t exactly been the bearer of good news lately.
“Yeah, sure,” I say, remembering that protecting the pack is my job, first and foremost. “What happened?”
He hesitates, startled by the fact that I know when he’s about to deliver me less-than-ideal news.
“Is it that bad?”
Jack shifts a bit uncomfortably on his feet, looking away for a moment before meeting my gaze again. “Nothing with Wraith Peak. But some of the pack members have been talking… and they’re still not entirely sold on your new bond. Or Lila.”
Without hesitation, cold anger flashes through me. I narrow my eyes at him.
“Who?”
He just barely flinches at the growled word, more instinct than anything, and he shakes his head.
“It doesn’t matter. People talk, and they think you chose her out of nowhere, and without any real reason.
They don’t understand it, and they hardly had the time to get to know her. It happened too quickly.”
It takes everything in my power not to lash out. Clenching my jaw, I force back the way my rage pushes at the seams, ready to tear into anyone who even looks at her wrong.
“They’ve had her entire life to get to know her, but nobody did. Instead, she was ostracized and belittled, and I know I’m guilty of it too,” I utter, reigning myself in as well as I can. “Regardless, she’s my mate, and she’s their Luna whether they like it or not.”
“I know,” he says, raising his hands in defense. “And I’m not saying they’re planning on rebelling because of it. I just thought you should be aware of what’s being said. Some are questioning if she’s strong enough for this, and if she’s willing to actually stand beside you.”
My jaw clenches hard enough to ache.
The whole thing isn’t just unfair, it’s insulting—both to her and to me.
To think, after the ceremony and everything, and they’re still directing this at Lila. At the woman I…
I push back the rest of that thought, annoyed by the ache in my chest that comes with it.
Jack looks me over carefully, as if gauging how to handle me. “You okay?”
“No,” I mutter honestly before shaking it off. “But I will be, and the others will come to accept her. I don’t care how, but they will.”
He seems to sit with that for a moment, then he grins. “That they will. Now go home and clear your head before you decide to make an example of me.”
“It’s never too late,” I say half-heartedly, earning a chuckle from him as we part ways.
Jack’s right. I need to be home and with them.
***
Walking through the door, the smell of lingering sweetness mixed with Lila’s addictive scent hits me hard enough to knock the tension out of my shoulders.
Box of desserts in hand, I glance over to see multiple containers of cookies sitting on the countertop. They beat me to it, it seems.
Something about that kicks up even more longing inside me. The smell of vanilla and melted chocolate makes the place actually feel like home. Really, I know it’s the two of them.
Astrid spots me, and just as I manage to put the box down along with the drinks, she comes barreling towards me, all smiles and endless energy.
“You’re home!”
“I am,” I chuckle, catching her mid-run and lifting her easily. I lift an accusatory brow at her. “How come you already look taller than you did this morning?”
She giggles, settled in my arms. “Mama said it’s because of the bread and cookies I eat.”
With a hum of amusement, I give her stomach a light poke. “Careful. You’ll turn into bread soon.”
Not believing me for even a second, she just laughs as I set her back down again before running off, busy with whatever she had been playing with on the floor. I watch as she goes, amused at the way she tears through the house like a little storm on legs.
Before, that fact might’ve irritated me. But now, it’s endearing. It makes the place feel more alive than it ever has.
My fury from earlier dissipates at the sight of Lila sitting on the couch with a dusting of flour still on her shoulder. Despite myself, I smile to myself.
She looks beautiful, even if she doesn’t know it. Even if she wouldn’t allow me to say the words out loud.
Then, glancing between me and the box of desserts on the counter, she lifts a brow. “It’s going to look like a bakery in here.”
I shrug and step closer. “Might as well add it to the collection.” Taking in the exhaustion in her eyes, I grin. “Rough day?”
Her expression turns deadpan. “Why, because Astrid convinced me we needed to bake three dozen cookies before noon? No, it was a perfectly normal day.”
At that, I huff out a laugh and lean against the back of the armchair. “Fair enough. You hungry?”
“For something other than dessert? Starving.”
“Good. We can order in. Your pick.”
Lila looks surprised by that, but she doesn’t refuse. Instead, she considers the offer, and her lips twitch in the slightest smile.
A subtle warmth settles in my chest then.
The iciness is still there, but in a way, it doesn’t feel quite as cold as it did yesterday. Even if I still have a long way to go, I can work with that.
From a young age, I was taught how to be patient, and in the military, I learned how to master it. Progress doesn’t happen overnight, regardless of how badly I want it to, especially with something as precarious and fragile as this.
The complicated tangle I’ve found myself caught up in with Lila is no different, and for her, I’ll wait as long as it takes.