Chapter 4
FELIX
“Are you sure this is wise?” Toph, my ever-reliant driver, glides his gloved hands around the steering wheel as we drive through towering iron gates and begin the winding drive up toward the Salamose Estate.
“As if he has a choice,” snorts Reese from the back seat. He lounges back against the cushions and presses his head into the headrest while gazing out of the window. “Can you imagine the shit storm if he doesn’t turn up?”
“It’s fine,” I reply, lightly drumming my fingers against my thigh. “Caterina likes me. This is just business.”
“She likes you because she can use you,” Toph points out with a slight sting of bitterness in his tone. “Everyone can see that you don’t need her. Everything you’ve done? It’s been on your own back, Felix. You’d be doing so much more if you didn’t hand the best deals off to her.”
“I don’t hand the best deals off,” I reply, lifting my gaze from the intricate pattern on the dash and glancing at Toph’s face. “We work together. That’s what a partnership is all about.”
“A partnership works both ways,” Reese remarks. “What does she do for you?”
“She pays me enough to keep useless lumps like you around,” I shoot back.
Reese grunts and kicks the back of my seat. “I’m serious, Boss. The deal with the Rustovs? They came to you and you handed that golden goose to her. The weapons deal with the Cartel? You had that in the bag and yet somehow she’s reaping the benefits.”
“Her power grows because of you,” Toph agrees. “ And you’d be ten times bigger without her.”
A pulse of irritation worms under my ribs and I swallow hard.
They speak from a place of concern, I’ve known that for a long time, but that doesn’t stop the irritation that piques as if they’re undermining my own decisions.
“Enough,” I snap, bringing silence to the car as the vast Salamone Manor comes into view. “What’s good for the Salamones is good for everyone, including us. And if you’re not careful, the wrong people will hear you dismissing the Dona and I won’t be able to save you, understand?”
A murmur of discontent bounces between Toph and Reese before they finally voice their agreement.
“Yes, Boss.”
“Good. Not another word.” I climb out before Toph has brought the car to a full standstill and stride up the white stone steps to a black front door that swings open before I’m even halfway up.
For years, we’ve flourished under Salamone leadership and to an outsider, it certainly looks like a lot of what I do is simply taken by Caterina, but she’s more than just a Dona to me.
She’s been through more than enough in our lives that helping her flourish, and by extension, flourishing myself, is what I’m meant to do.
“She’s in the study,” announces her doorman as I reach the top of the steps.
I brush past him and follow the familiar winding hallways past the kitchen and libraries to the study Caterina calls home.
In all my years, these hallways have never changed. I ran these same carpets as a child, clung to these same statues, and dirtied the same walls with my little hands.
It’s like walking through a time capsule which always leaves a slight unsettling weight on my shoulders.
Reaching her office, I knock twice.
“Enter!” calls an elegant voice, sweet as always yet rough at the edges from age.
Opening the door, the lingering cloud of her overbearingly floral perfume hits me in the back of the throat like a punch.
That scent is just as familiar as these hallways and I smile as I enter.
“Caterina?”
She stands in the middle of the room, a head shorter than me, with her crisp, white curls perfectly smoothed and pinned to the top of her head with extravagant gold pins.
Clad in an emerald green dress that tucks in at her waist and flows down her legs like liquid, she’s the picture of elegance with an even sweeter smile to match.
At a glance, no one would ever know she has a higher body count than even me.
“Felix?” She spins to face me and clasps her hands together under her chin, her thickly lined eyes sparkling even in the deep-set wrinkles warming her face. “Oh darling! It’s so good to see you!”
Caterina rushes toward me in an instant and clutches at my hand with both of hers.
One quickly rises to my silk tie and she grips it, then jerks me down to her level to plant a slightly sticky kiss on my cheek. “Come in, come in!”
“How are you?”
“Fine, fine.” She waves me away and loops her arm through mine, then she guides me back to where she was standing and casts her other hand in a wide arc. “What do you think? Does it look good here?”
So distracted by her, I failed to notice the new painting hanging in her office.
A full frontal nude portrait of herself stretched elegantly over one of the gold couches in the conservatory.
If it were any other woman, I’d be able to admire it but I can only spare the painting a brief glance before the uncomfortable knot in my gut tightens.
“It’s a statement.”
“You’re not looking at it,” Caterina insists, tightening her grip on my arm. “Don’t you think it’s beautiful?”
I glance again.
As beautiful as the piece is, there’s something very awkward about staring at the naked body of your best friend’s mother. “Beautiful, yes. The painter did a fantastic job.”
“Of course he did,” Caterina beams. “Look at what he had to work with.”
“You are divine, Caterina, it is true.” I meet her sharp gaze and a prickle of warmth streaks down my spine.
“And yet you cannot admire me?” She cocks her head and one long, sparkling earring trails across her shoulder. “Does the female form intimidate you?”
“Not at all.”
“Then is it me?” She presses her hand against her chest as she leans in to me. “Am I too old for you?”
Caterina, as sweet as she seems, is the sharpest blade in the drawer.
Her sweetness is merely a mask for the dark bitterness that exists underneath, and one wrong move will make me her target.
“It’s not that either,” I reply, patting her hand and stepping back until we’re no longer torso to torso. “You know that to me, you will always be Nico’s mother. Nothing more.”
Whatever anger at my rejection could brew beneath the surface is immediately quelled by the onslaught of grief that overtakes her.
Her face crumples and her gaze drops to the floor.
“Yes,” she says heavily, briefly squeezing my elbow.
“I suppose that is true. What I would give for my son to be here with us now.” A final squeeze and she steps away from me, swaying back and forth as she heads for the couch resting across from the fireplace.
“I have more money than I’ll ever be able to count, men who would kill for me just with a glance, more businesses than anyone before me.
I’m the most powerful woman in New York… ”
She makes it to the couch and sinks down onto the cushions.
“And none of it can bring my baby back.”
Fifteen years isn’t enough to dull the pain of loss, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.
When someone is part of your life from as young as you can remember, that bond stays with you and aches like an open flame when it’s ripped apart for no reason.
“I miss him too. Every day.” Following her, I choose the seat angled across from her to spare any further awkward advances. As many as there are, I can’t hold it against her.
She’s as lonely as she is dangerous.
“Sometimes I find myself expecting to see him come home,” Caterina murmurs as she leans back. “Even after all these years. The back door in the kitchen has this creak that I always associate with him sneaking back in after breaking one of my rules. How pathetic is that?”
“It’s not pathetic.” My heart squeezes. “There are a couple of songs I can’t listen to because of him, because back then it was his ringtone.
Not like now.” I glance down at my joined hands resting between my knees.
“Now my phone’s on silent and vibrate because if I hear a tone, I’ll think it’s him. ”
“How did we make it this far?” Her voice clogs with emotion and she gazes into the fireplace. “How did we crawl this far without him?”
I follow her gaze into the flames and fight the lump forming in my throat. I have no answer. I lost Nico and three days later I lost Dove, the love of my life. In a life surrounded by death, it’s somehow ten times worse when that death turns up on your own doorstep.
“We lost a lot back then,” I murmur. “Nico. The entire Healy clan were slaughtered.” Murdered in their own home and Dove along with them.
The pain of losing Nico pales in comparison to the agony of losing Dove.
I’d never believed in fate or soulmates until I laid eyes on her one night at a party and knew instantly there would never be anyone else in the world better for me than her.
And I lost her.
All these years growing the Donizetti family in the wake of my father’s passing, making myself stronger, richer, and more powerful; it’s all just for show because the emptiness she left with me has never been filled.
“The Healy clan,” Caterina mutters and her tone is much sharper as if the mention of them dried up all the present grief in her heart. “I wish they’d died slower.”
My eyes rip from the fire and lock onto her. “Excuse me?”
Her eyes narrow faintly. “You know we weren’t on the best of terms. I’m not glad they’re dead, don’t get me wrong. As you know, I was in the process of working out a deal with them but the mess they left me with?” She pouts slightly. “I can’t help but wish they’d died slower.”
My face must betray my disbelief at her words because as quickly as she was tearing up about Nico, she’s smiling brightly. “You know how I hate cleaning up other people’s messes.”
“Yes,” I nod slowly. “I’m aware.”
“Speaking of—.” Caterina’s suddenly on her feet and busy at the drinks trolley resting near her desk. In a clatter of crystal and glass, she pours two Vodka’s and returns to my side with a smile as she offers me a glass.
I take it and don’t drink.
“The Russian deal should be closing soon. That’s why I called you here.
I’m mostly caught up dealing with this new Triad that’s appeared in Brooklyn.
I thought they were trying to get a foothold, but a little birdie told me they’ve been operating in secret for long enough that simply burning down their sweatshops won’t be enough to remove them.
That requires my focus. I don’t need those little rats undermining me. ”
“So you need me to finish the deal with the Russians?” I raise the glass to my lips and sip as Caterina returns to the couch.
“Yes, exactly. I mostly need you to make a presence in their territory, remind them who they are dealing with and remove any hints that I’m a woman to be screwed with. You can do that for me, darling, can’t you?”
Caterina bats her eyes at me like she’s still in her thirties.
“I’ll make my presence felt.”
“Thank you darling. Aren’t you just a peach?” She gazes at me with a warmer, heavy-lidded look and sighs. “Oh, if I were fifteen years younger.”
“That wouldn’t change anything, remember?”
“Of course.” She sighs deeply. “Nico.”
Suddenly, Caterina’s phone, resting on the glass side table beside her, lights up and vibrates furiously on the glass. She glances at it and smiles widely. “Luckily, I’m off the market anyway.”
She definitely doesn’t act like someone off the market.
“I have a hot young thing that keeps me on my toes, darling, so don’t worry about me being lonely. Just worry that you’re missing out.” Her smile turns coy as she answers and presses the phone to her ear.
This is not a conversation I want to overhear so with a smile, I set my glass aside and stand. “Thank you for meeting me, Caterina. I should go.”
“What?!” She bolts upright on the couch, her face twisting with such rage that the wrinkles on her face deepen into caverns and her eyes bulge out of their sockets.
“You better be fucking lying to me because if this is true, I will personally cut off your fucking balls, grill them and feed them to my dogs, do you hear me?!”
A flinch rolls across my shoulders while concern blooms in my stomach. Leaving is no longer an option.
“No,” Caterina wails. “No, no, you’re lying! You’re lying!”
“What’s happening?”
The phone slips from her hand and lands on her lap. “He’s dead,” she wails. “He’s dead!”
“Who’s dead, Caterina?” My heart suddenly pounds as the familiarity of her tears and yelling drags me right back to that night fifteen years ago. I crash down onto the sofa next to her and she clutches at my arms.
“My man!” she wails. “He’s been murdered!” Tears well on her lashes and pour down her cheeks, taking streaks of her mascara with them. “Dead!” She wails again and then her jaw jerks to the side, then she grits her teeth as she glares at me.
“Fuck the Russians. You get out there, Felix. You get out there and you bring me the head of the fucker who killed him!”