Chapter 5
DOVE
“What do you think?” I run my fingers through the beautiful black curls I’ve spent the past forty minutes perfecting for my client. “Do you like them? If they’re too tight for you, I can brush them out a little more, but not too much, and we’ll end up with waves.”
“Oh I love them!” Addison covers her face with her hands for a moment, then lifts her head and looks at me. “Thank you Dove. You always make me feel so beautiful!”
“It’s because you are beautiful,” I reply. “I just enhance what’s already there. I can’t make beauty.”
“Oh sure.” Addison rolls her eyes. “I like the blonde on you, by the way. I wish I could change my hair color as often as you.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Leaning close, we’re cheek to cheek as I eye her in the mirror. “Wigs.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Mhm. Much cheaper and easier on the hair.”
“Oh my god. Well, either way you look amazing!”
“Thank you.” With a soft laugh, I lean up and pat your shoulder. “Okay, if you’re satisfied with everything, just head to the till and Delilah will ring you up.”
“Thanks a bunch, seriously!” She blows a kiss at me as she stands and then hurries through the salon to the front desk where her presence draws Delilah out of her book.
I watch until the process starts and then sneak off to the back room for a break.
With coffee brewing on the counter, I rest against the table and scan through my phone.
Countless reminders have come through from my insurance already as well as emails from the hospital about Alex’s return visit to check on the care of his cast.
On top of that, another cop dropped by about the crash - a real one this time - and Social Services phoned, informing me of a meeting at the end of the week.
It’s a lot.
Too much.
My quiet little life stands on the verge of collapse and my only relief comes from the lack of any news about the people I killed.
Sleep has become a thing of the past over these past few days, but not because I took three lives.
That’s as easy as dyeing hair.
I worry for Alex. His face when I told him his friend had died scars my mind and keeps me awake through the long hours of the night, searching for a solution that fails to present itself.
I’m fighting another yawn when Mary shuffles into the room and flashes me a smile. “You alright, dear?”
“Yeah, fine.” I motion with my phone. “Just bills.”
“You sure?” Her eyes crinkle as she moves past me and takes over the coffee maker.
“Well… honestly?”
“When have I ever asked for anything but?”
“Paying Alex’s medical bills will clear out my savings. Everything I have. Normally, that would be okay and I would just start saving again, but what I did on my date?” My stomach tightens. “I’m exposed, Mary.”
She adds three lumps of sugar to her mug and glances over her shoulder. “I thought you were careful?”
“I was. I am. I always am. But I still did it and there’s always a risk someone will look deeper.
I’m hoping they won’t but I can’t keep Alex safe on hope.
So either… either I use my savings and pay those bills, and then wait here in fear for however long.
Or I take my money and run, risking debt collectors tracking me across the country. ”
“Do you regret what you did?” Mary switches out my cup for hers in the machine and then gently presses the coffee into my hands.
“Of course not. If I hadn’t done it then those people would have taken Alex on a date,” I murmur. “And he wouldn’t have come home. I don’t regret it.”
“I thought not.” She flashes me a warm smile. “Then all you need to do is take my savings.”
I lift my eyes from the dark liquid to her warm face. “What?”
“Take my savings and use that to pay for Alex’s treatment. Then take what you have and go. Be safe with your son. You know your world better than anyone, sweetheart. And I know you won’t settle if there’s even a drop of risk. So you take it and you go.”
“I-I can’t do that.”
“Yes you can!” She nods firmly. “I’ve lived my life. A good life. And being in yours? Watching that boy grow up into a fine but terrible teenager?” She laughs throatily. “You brought life back into this old woman’s soul when she was ready for the end. Let me repay you.”
It’s a kind offer.
Stunningly kind.
And it would be the answer to my problems. I could take the cash, pay my bills and then vanish with Alex to another State or even another country.
Staring into Mary’s kind eyes, my heart stutters and my refusal doesn’t change.
Living on the back of Mary’s savings will be harder to cope with than living with the trail of carnage I left in my youth.
“I can’t, Mary. I’m sorry. You’re too good to me and I could never live with myself if I took your money.”
Sadness floods Mary’s eyes as she nods slowly. “You can take a life but you can’t take an old woman’s money?”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be.” Her smile widens. “Your morals are why I love you so much. I just want to help you.”
“I know. I know.” Setting my cup aside, I draw her into a warm embrace and close my eyes. I’ll figure something else out.
I have to.
My key slips against the lock as I wrestle to get into my apartment.
The rest of my shift was as smooth as butter and my bed is calling, even if sleep will escape me for the umpteenth time.
No bright ideas ignited themselves in my mind while I worked, so the same troubles weigh my heart as I finally stumble inside, kick the door closed with my foot and lock it quickly.
“Alex?”
No response.
Tossing my keys onto the table by the door, I shed my coat and walk through my small apartment.
The lounge feeds into the kitchen through a swinging door and a short corridor splits into two, one leading to my room and the other to Alex’s.
His door’s closed and my heart lurches as I approach. Thankfully, a grunt rises from the other side when I knock on the door, so I let myself in.
“How are you, honey?”
Alex rests under a mound of blankets with his good arm curled tight around his pillow.
Red-rimmed eyes peer blearily at me and he half lifts his shoulder in a shrug as I approach.
“Have you eaten?”
He shakes his head.
“Showered?”
Another no.
“Does it still hurt?”
He fixes me with such a heavy, pained look that I almost can’t breathe as I perch on the edge of his bed.
“I’m sorry honey. I really am.”
“I don’t understand,” Alex sniffles, his voice deep and thick from crying. “He survived that car crash just to get mugged? Who would do that? Who would attack someone coming out of the hospital?”
“I don’t know, honey. There are some really terrible people in this world who prey on the weak. Michael… he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Tears glisten in Alex’s eyes and he sinks deeper into the pillows. “Is it my fault?” he asks me hoarsely.
Tension stabs at my chest. “Why would you think that?” I ask while stroking through his hair.
“That police man; the one who grabbed you in our room. He was angry, wasn’t he? He was saying all that stuff about dangerous people. Is that why Mike died?”
It’s not often that I’m tempted to tell Alex the truth about everything but when it crops up, it’s overwhelming.
Each time I tell myself keeping him in the dark is the safest way, there’s a voice deep in my soul that asks if that’s really the right way.
Would telling him the truth ease his pain about his best friend?
Doubtful.
Would understanding make it easier?
Maybe.
“It’s not your fault at all,” I assure him gently. “That man, that cop, he was just an arrogant prick and I’ve already lodged a complaint about him. He’ll get what’s coming to him, okay? But what happened to Mike was a tragic accident and not your fault at all, okay?”
Alex stares up at me with glistening eyes. Even as he nods, I get the heavy feeling that he doesn’t believe me.
“Listen. Why don’t you take a shower, okay? Remember to wrap your cast. I’ll order pizza and we can just pig out for the night. Does that sound good?”
He hesitates for a few seconds and then nods. “Okay.”
“Okay.” I lean down and kiss his warm forehead, then exit his room and wander into the kitchen.
Tears don’t come until I’m halfway through scrolling the pizza menu and the clunk of the shower echoes through the hallway.
My boy is in so much pain and there’s nothing I can do to make it better. I’ve lost my fair share of people.
Every member of my family was slaughtered and that pain still sits with me to this day.
It’s not gotten any better; it’s just easier to navigate.
I never wanted Alex to feel that pain and yet I’m powerless to stop it. Powerless to help him. It hurts, and for ten minutes I let myself cry over the sink.
Tears of exhaustion, of guilt and hopelessness.
They pour hot and fast down my cheeks until hunger cuts through my upset.
By the time I’ve ordered pizza, my heart is set.
We’re leaving.
I’ll risk the debt collectors being overzealous in their job to track me down. I’m taking Alex and after Mike’s funeral, we’re leaving. I’m getting as far away from New York as I can.
I should have left fifteen years ago, but back then it was smarter and safer to stay near the Mafia's epicentre because no one would look that close to home.
Not that anyone was looking for a dead woman, but if I were spotted on airport CCTV or at the docks, then my plan would crumble.
Now I want Alex as far away from this world as possible.
Twenty minutes later, a knock at the door signals the arrival of the pizza.
“Alex!” I call down to his room as I walk through the lounge. “Sort the plates for me, would you?”
A grumble of acceptance reaches my ears just as I reach the door, warming my chest with affection.
Unlocking the door, I haul it open and brace for the warm, cheesy scent of goodness.
But there’s no pizza there.
Just a man.
A tall man with short dark hair swept away from his forehead and a few strands sweeping down across his temple.
A man with olive skin, dark, honey-brown eyes and black ink peeking out from the collar of his crisp, white shirt.
A man so strikingly handsome that my core clenches at the sight of him at the same time as a pulse of cold dread blooms in my gut and sweeps up my chest like a flash freeze.
A man I know.
Felix.