Chapter 26
Ashley
Confused, I sit up, torn from sleep. At first, I can’t understand what the sound is, and only a moment later do I realize it’s my phone. It buzzes like crazy, stops, and starts its dance again.
Outside, the night is still gray; dawn is just breaking.
The screen displays Ryker’s name. Before he can hang up again, I answer the call.
“Hi,” I say softly, even though I’m alone. Last night, Zoe mentioned she had urgent business in town, and before I could ask her what was going on, she disappeared through the apartment door.
“Ash—” Ryker’s voice is equally quiet, but I sense some tension.
Goosebumps cover my skin.
“What’s wrong, Ryker?” Despite my best efforts, I can’t control the fear in my voice.
There’s silence on the other end of the line, and then I hear his pain-filled whisper, “I need you, Ash.”
Ryker’s a tough guy. What he has revealed to me about his life is only a fraction of it, and he only opens up to a select few as he builds trust. He’s a complex guy with a complicated past.
For a man like Ryker, to admit he needs something or someone is a huge step. That’s why his words alone make me jump out of bed and look for clothes to throw on.
“Where are you? I’m on my way.” My voice trembles with emotion.
I forget about my other issues in a second, about the fact that after Aisling’s phone call, I doubted his sincerity. Maybe he’s not telling me everything, but I don’t doubt his good intentions toward me.
His pain resonates deep within me. “I’m outside.”
I throw my leggings on the floor again and head for the door. When I open it, my mouth drops in surprise.
Looking at him, I move the phone away from my ear. My gaze runs over his silhouette leaning against the doorframe. He looks fine. There’s no blood, which I expected, nor any bullet holes. He doesn’t look injured.
And then my gaze reaches his face. At first glance, everything’s fine, but his eyes tell a whole other story. He’s not hiding how he feels. Like an open book, because he wants it that way. The pain I’d heard in his voice a moment earlier is painted in raw colors in his eyes.
Without a word, I grab his hand and pull him into the apartment. He doesn’t resist but continues to stare.
Pushing the door shut, I hide us in the semi-darkness. “What’s going on? Are you hurt? Say something.”
“No, baby. I’m not hurt. Not physically anyway,” he tells me, taking a step closer.
He lets go of my hand to touch my cheek. Stroking it with his thumb makes my heart beat even faster.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He shakes his head in return and leans down to brush my forehead with his lips.
“Not today. I didn’t want to wake you, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.
My legs brought me here on their own. You’re the home I have to return to, the harbor I have to dock at.
Nothing can calm me down. There’s no escape from my madness.
Only the thought of you... I need you. I need you more than my next breath. ”
Why does it hurt so much?
I don’t think it’s—
My brow furrows as the answer surfaces in my mind.
“I’m here, Ryker. I’m here for you. Tell me what you need from me, and I’ll give it to you,” I whisper.
His eyes soften, and the first glimmer of warmth appears in them. “You make it damn hard not to fall in love with you, you know? What am I saying? That train left a long time ago, and I’m standing here waiting for you on the platform.”
“Ry—”
“Today. I need to forget about today. I need you, baby, to regain my faith that tomorrow can be different. I want to feel that the world can still be good, even if just for a moment.”
Faith. Even if it’s illusory, it can turn a docile kitten into a mighty lion.
I can give him the oblivion he so desperately needs from me.
I grab his hand again and pull him to my bedroom. Glancing over my shoulder, I notice a spark of desire lighting up inside him.
When we reach the bed, I slowly pull his sweatshirt up and help him take it off over his head. I breathe in his expensive cologne, which works on me like an aphrodisiac. This scent will haunt me for the rest of my days.
Next is his T-shirt. Standing still, he lets me do whatever comes to mind. Lets me take the control he loves and needs so much. It means a lot.
I watch Ryker’s chest rise and fall faster and faster, and the artery in his neck pulse harder. Leaning down, I run my tongue over it. It tastes unique. And combined with the intense scent...
My lashes droop, and I run my tongue over the same spot again.
Tilting his head back, Ryker makes it easier for me to reach him.
My lips fall on his neck, and I start kissing him, resting my hands on his abs.
My fingertips wander over the soft skin and hard muscle ridges.
Goosebumps appear on his skin, and when I come across more sensitive areas, he shudders.
When I move my hands to his back, I dig my fingers into it. His hardness presses against my stomach. It doesn’t take much to get him hard. And once kissing him isn’t enough, I bite down on the muscles of his collarbone. The reward is a moan that has nothing to do with pain.
My lips find his next, and I bite hard. He immediately responds with the same hunger I have. That’s how it is with us. Only with him. I’ve never felt anything like this before.
Ryker’s arms wrap around me and pull me close with force. My sensitive body is aware of everything, every contour, every hardness, every softness of his skin.
One of his hands slides down my back and finds its place on the nape of my neck. Tilting my head back gives him better access to my lips. His hot tongue slides into my mouth, and everything hits me at once: how much I want him, how much he attracts me, how I can’t stop thinking about him.
The fact that it’s too late for me not to fall in love with him too.
A deep moan escapes Ryker as he bites my lower lip. With his left hand, he squeezes my ass. And when I brush against his erection, my lower belly tingles. Even though it’s still not enough, it’s not about me right now.
I take a small step back, and Ryker gazes in surprise from under his half-closed eyelids. My gesture has more than one meaning when my legs buckle and I fall to my knees in front of him.
I’ve never done this to any man before. Watching him from this new position, I hope he can see in my eyes what my lips can’t say.
Raising my hands, I grab the waistband of his pants and unzip them. The pants fall to his ankles, and he kicks them aside.
Now, he’s wearing absolutely nothing else. He stands completely naked, aroused, vulnerable. He’s masculine with all those swollen veins, beautiful in that raw way.
“Ash…” Ryker groans as though I’m inflicting a new kind of pain on him. “You really don’t have to do this, but please stop looking like that because I’m going to come just from the way you’re doing it.”
My lips curves. “I don’t have to. I want to. Want this.”
“Then take it. Open your luscious lips and swallow it.”
Once again, I run my tongue over my chapped lips, rise to my knees, and close my mouth over his crown.
This alone is so fucking exciting that I use my fingers to unbutton the shirt I slept in. I have to get everything off me.
I start caressing Rykers with just my lips and tongue, without using my hands. Rising and falling on my knees, I hope I’m doing it right. Seconds later, he confirms it with a loud moan and words. “Jesus Christ, Ash. You have no fucking idea how it feels. You’re like heaven and hell wrapped in one.”
Just humming makes him even more turned on.
“The vibrations of your throat—yes, just like that. Don’t stop, baby. Touch yourself while you work me into oblivion.”
My shirt’s already on the floor, and with one hand I play with my breasts while the other grips the base of his cock. With a confidence foreign to me, I synchronize the movement of my hand with my mouth, and he rewards me with more curses, calling on God and repeating my name over and over.
I slide my hand from my breasts to the elastic of my shorts, lower, between my legs. Everything is so slick from the unbearable arousal, hot and sticky. I’m already wet just because I’m pleasuring this big guy with my mouth.
Who would have thought?
I barely notice when Ryker’s hand tangles in my hair and starts stroking me, praising me as he does so.
“You’re such a good girl. You’re so fucking hot, and you’re all mine. I’ll kill anyone who dares to even think about taking you away from me. God, Ash. You’re so fucking unreal.”
He knows exactly what these words do to me.
I moan, moving my hips to the rhythm of my fingertips caressing my clit. I’m sure we’ll both come in a moment.
I suck hard, and my hand is massaging his heavy balls.
“Fuck, I’m about to come. Ash—Get up, little one.”
My eyes open, not understanding what he wants from me. I blink, his cock in my mouth and my hand inside my panties.
“Don’t look at me like that. It feels fucking incredible, but I have to find my way home now. Next time, I’ll paint a pattern on your breasts with my cum and feed it to you.”
Ryker catches himself and pulls out of my mouth.
“So I’m not completely hopeless in this?”
This time it’s Ryker who blinks in surprise. “Who told you that bullshit?” Anger appears in his voice.
“I—did I say that out loud?”
He grabs me under the arms and puts me on my shaky legs. “Definitely. Who was it?”
“No one. It’s just that I’ve never—”
“Impossible,” he cuts me off, smiling wide and showing a row of white teeth. “Am I your… first?”
“The only thing missing is for you to pound your chest with pride.” And he doesn’t stop smiling. “Ryker!” I playfully slap his shoulder, then cover my face with my hands in embarrassment. “I’ve never wanted to do that before.”
“My Little Killer,” he purrs and pulls my hands away. His eyes sparkle. “I’m proud because I have a reason to be. It’s an honor for me?”
“An honor? I’m sure at least a hundred women before me could do it better.”
“You’re wrong. None of them could give me the pleasure you give me because none of them understood me or held my heart in their hands.”
Is he saying that he loves me? This big, bad, dark, murderous man is saying something so romantic?
Warmth envelops me after his words. This is a big step for me, and I’m proud that I took it with him.
“Now let me prove how much your pleasure means to me.” With these words, he pushes me lightly onto the bed. “Lie on your stomach and hold on tight.”
At first, our lovemaking is slow and full of passion. Ryker lavishes me with praise, telling me I’m beautiful, sexy, and unlike anyone else. How perfect we are for each other.
Then he picks up the pace, thrusting into me like his mission is to ruin me for all other men. And he’s damn right. He’s doing it. Undeniably.
When our worlds explode and merge together, reaching their peak, he repeats my name in ecstasy. I welcome the weight of his body. And when he leans in, he whispers in my ear, “One day. One day I’ll marry you.”
It takes a few more hours before we both collapse from exhaustion. I stare at his muscular back as he breathes peacefully in sleep. I gave him what he needed so badly. Oblivion. That morning, I gave him all of myself and hoped that, in all of this, we wouldn’t crash on the rocks.
It made me vulnerable... but with him, that vulnerability wasn’t fear; it was a choice.
I’m almost drifting off when a text message notification pops up. I reach for the phone, but it’s not mine. It’s Ryker’s. Still, I see a notification from an unknown number on the screen.
I shouldn’t look, but I can’t resist. Something inside me is already screaming...
Unknown
Tomorrow, 11 p.m. at the warehouse, 178 Ocean Road. Ashley can’t know about this.
One second can change everything.
Aisling pops into my head, and doubts arise in my heart once again.
Her voice echoes in my head louder than ever: “He’s not telling you the truth.”
Am I so stupid that he deceived me?
Am I so blind that I gave my heart away, and it was a mistake?
What are you playing at, Ryker?