Chapter 27
Ashley
Until I climb into the car, I just can’t settle down.
I’m trying to trust Ryker, believe in his good intentions, and not overthink things. I really am. But the seed of doubt has been planted, and with every passing hour, something I can’t predict is growing. I doubt everything I know.
Ryker doesn’t mention the meeting referred to in the message. He doesn’t mention the conversation with my father Aisling told me about. Not a word about why he was such a mess that night.
Doubts and secrets are piling up, and that’s never a good sign.
As Shadow, I should know better.
For a moment, I allow myself to just be Ash, the girl who wants to believe in happy endings. I forget about Shadow, who knows all the dark and ugly sides of life.
By not telling Ryker about my talk with Aisling, I’m a hypocrite.
What if? is running through my head. What if I’m really wrong about him?
What if making me feel something is simply a game or has a specific purpose?
Maybe he just wants to get to my dad? Perhaps I shouldn’t have trusted him? What if...
I don’t want to label him as a traitor right away. But if I’m to continue believing him, I need to see the truth with my own eyes. For once, I won’t trust any words—only facts.
That’s why, on the day of the meeting, I get into a rental car and drive to that godforsaken warehouse on Ocean Road.
It’s in the middle of nowhere, perfect for a secret meeting.
Although it’s not very sensible, I park on a wooded side road and walk to the warehouse.
I would rather not risk anyone seeing me.
I have no problem getting into the warehouse, which isn’t fenced off. There’s no one guarding the place.
Going around the building, I notice that all the windows are painted over. The white paint has yellowed with time, but I can still see a little light shining through. It doesn’t help much.
At the third window, the paint has been scraped a little off the glass. Bringing my face as close as possible, I peer through the small gap.
A dim light illuminates two men standing in the middle of the space. My mouth opens in surprise, not believing what I see.
But actually, I do believe it. Now I believe it.
Ryker doesn’t look like a winner or my father’s loyal dog. He looks more like someone caught in the middle of a minefield—tense, ready to strike, but far from relieved.
In a way I’ve used many times, I move along the walls until I find the back door and use my magic tools.
A moment later, I’m inside, following the voices. I stay in the shadows, finding a spot where I can not only see the two of them but also hear them well.
“It’s in her best interest. The threat that follows us—I don’t want that for her,” says the man. I see him up close for the first time, though I don’t see anything familiar in him. Nothing that would be visible on my face.
My father. Standing so close to me, and yet...
My heart pounds, and hands are starting to sweat. I don’t quite understand why because after all, he’s a total stranger. We don’t know each other, and I know almost nothing about him.
A mix of emotions hits me like a wave. Relief mixes with anger, interest with a thirst for revenge, and on top of that, a pile of questions.
My hands clench into fists.
“She’s strong and can take care of herself. Don’t you think it’s her decision?” Ryker’s eyebrows rise.
“Of course, she can take care of herself. She’s my blood.”
Ryker shakes his head.
“But we both know that this is bigger than you or me. What does the Pact want?”
“What do you think, Charles?”
My father’s gaze falls on the dirty cement floor. “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you? Will you?”
Ryker slowly takes out his gun. The click of it being reloaded is deafening, and when he raises it, aiming at my father’s chest, I can barely breathe.
But my father does nothing, doesn’t even move a finger. They stand a few feet apart, and he seems… resigned.
My man doesn’t look like he’s enjoying this. Like he’s getting any satisfaction out of it. More like... he’s carrying out a sentence he didn’t write.
“I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to take you to the red room. Someone very rich and very powerful wants to get their hands dirty with your blood.”
My instincts prove stronger than me. Without hesitation, I step out of the shadows.
I move slowly toward them.
Ryker keeps his eyes on my father, whose head turns my way.
“Lower your weapon, Ryker,” I order, swallowing hard, not sure what to expect.
“My Little Killer.” He hums and smiles. “Why am I not surprised? Have you been following me?”
Charles keeps his eyes on me, step by step, until I’m almost between them. Ryker’s gun immediately drops, his gray eyes find mine, and he knows.
Reading me comes so easily to him. “You saw the message.”
“I saw the notification. An oversight on your part.”
“I’m not the one who wanted to keep this meeting a secret.”
Feeling betrayed, I turn to the other man.
Charles is a head taller than me, with short brown hair already sprinkled with gray and thick eyebrows. His jaw is clean-shaven despite the late hour. Under his left eye, there’s a small scar, possibly from a knife cut.
But I was wrong; we have something in common. His eyes are vibrant green, just like mine.
“Ashley,” he breathes. He opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. His shoulders, stiff a moment ago, suddenly slump. The look in his eyes softens, and features relax.
All the questions evaporate from my head. Over the years, I’ve gathered so many that I don’t know where to start. How can you lock up over twenty years of your life in them?
This thought sobers me up, and I quickly approach him. Punching him in the chest over and over, I keep asking. He doesn’t move an inch. Lets me take it out on him.
“Where the fuck have you been all these years? Why didn’t you want us?
Do you know what hell you put us through?
Where were you when Mom was dying, unable to cope with her grief over you?
Where were you when she was injecting poison into her veins?
What were you doing when I was fighting for every day of our lives?
When I was desperate and doing everything I could to feed my sister?
When I had to be a parent for both of us? ”
At some point, tears flow down my face, and my father pulls me into a firm embrace. He holds me close, allowing me to release what has built up over all these years. It’s not enough. Doesn’t he understand that?
My breathing is shallow and ragged. My heart is racing, and my emotions are giving me a pounding headache. I’m so thankful for his embrace; I’d completely fall apart without it.
Terrified by my own actions, I collapse into sobs. I’m creating a spectacle, and I no longer care. I let all the darkness and struggle of my past pour out of me in a flood of tears.
Finally, I give in and wrap my arms around my father’s waist.
“Shhh...” he soothes, stroking my head like I’m a little girl. “I’m sorry. So fucking sorry... For everything. I didn’t know. I had no idea. I’m so sorry, my child.”
“It was so hard for us.” My words are muffled as I bury my face in his shirt. “You left us. Mom left us to fend for ourselves. I was so damn tired of fighting for me and Zoe.”
Hands fall on my shoulders, gently pushing me away. He stares at my face, searching for something.
“Who’s Zoe?”
I blink, confused. “You don’t know who Zoe is? Your younger daughter.”
“I—I only have one child. You.”
“But—how? Mom—” The gears in my head turn. For as long as I can remember, there were two of us, and then three. Zoe’s my sister, and I assumed... But the fact is, Mom never wanted to talk about Dad, and she never said we had the same father. Still, I ask weakly, “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Your mother and I—the last time I saw her, she was pregnant.”
Stepping back, I can’t detect even a hint that he’s being dishonest.
So Zoe’s father is someone else. It changes nothing, though, because she’s my sister no matter who her biological father is.
“Mom never wanted to talk about you. Why did you leave us?”
Confusion is written all over his face. Frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair and looks down at his feet.
“It’s a long story, but I didn’t see any other way.
My world differed from your mother’s. I had to protect both you and her.
They would have destroyed you, and I was helpless, young, and stupid.
My parents—they had plans for me, and there was no way I could have an illegitimate child or a wife from what they considered a lower social status.
It didn’t fit into the political career they had planned for me.
When my brother spilled the beans and my mother found out about you, she gave me a choice.
I could leave you on my own, or my father would do it for me.
Knowing what he was capable of I couldn’t let that happen. ”
“So you just gave up because you didn’t have the balls to fight for us?” I take a few steps back. Ryker must have moved closer, because I suddenly feel the warmth of his body behind me.
My father’s gaze meets mine.
“The plan was to come back for you once everything settled down and I regained control of my life. I couldn’t do it earlier because Mom was monitoring you. At least for a while. And then you disappeared.”
“Don’t bullshit me; you couldn’t find us.
You could have at least tried,” I growl.
“You can’t convince me you couldn’t get one fucking address all these years.
You’re a politician; you had power and connections.
Do you know how many times we moved because my mother couldn’t pay the rent?
Do you know how many times I fell asleep hungry next to Zoe?
Even an anonymous transfer. An unsigned letter. Anything. Why didn’t you do anything?”
Three breaths, that’s how long the silence lasts before he answers. And then my heart breaks again.