16 #3
She looked away, and I dragged both hands through my hair. “Do your parents know I’m coming to Thanksgiving?”
Silence filled the kitchen.
“Do they?”
“They know I’m seeing you.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“They aren’t ready.”
“I don’t care.”
“I do!” Her voice cracked through the apartment. “I care, Ryan. They are my parents.”
“And I’m your man, mamacita. Figure out what the fuck you want.”
“I want you.”
“Then stop asking me to wait until everybody else gets comfortable with it.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know.” My voice dropped. “That’s why this fucking hurts.”
Charm stopped moving. I stared at her for a long moment before telling her the thing I had been waiting to share since I got home.
“I have a game the Saturday after Thanksgiving.”
Her brow furrowed. “I know.”
“You know I have a game. You don’t know what game.”
She went still.
“There are scouts coming.”
Her eyes widened. “Ryan.”
“Real scouts, Charm. People who can change my life and hand me everything I have fought to achieve.”
“That’s huge.”
“It’s a big fucking deal.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I wanted enough time to actually be here with you when I did.” A humorless laugh left me as I gestured around the apartment. “Then Easton blew shit up, Aura needed you, everybody needed something, and I kept thinking I would wait another day.”
My voice roughened. “I want everyone there.”
Charm kept her eyes on mine.
“Briggs, Rider, Cade, Bliss, Easton, and Aura if they get their fucking shit together.” I paused. “I want you there.”
Her lower lip trembled.
“I want you in the stands as my girl. My girlfriend. I want every person in that arena to know exactly who I’m looking for when I come off the ice.”
“Ryan—”
“I want us to tell people. I want to walk into that arena knowing everybody understands that I chose you and you chose me.”
“And now you think I won’t?”
“I’m fucking scared to ask.”
The confession silenced her.
I hated saying it, but I made myself finish. “I don’t know whether your father gets to decide if you’re still mine by Thanksgiving.”
“He doesn’t.”
“Then prove it.”
Her face crumpled.
I stepped closer without touching her. “You need to decide before I invest any more of my heart in this.”
The sentence nearly killed me on the way out, but it hit her like a slap. She physically recoiled, and my chest tightened so hard that I had to force my next breath.
“That’s cruel.”
“No.”
“Yes, it is.”
“It’s honest.”
“I have done nothing but try.”
“I have watched you tear yourself apart trying to keep everybody happy except yourself.”
“You think this is easy for me?”
“I think it’s hard as fuck.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Because nobody else will!” My voice cracked through the room.
Charm froze. I pulled in a breath and forced my volume lower.
“Everybody keeps giving you more time because they love you. Aura, Bliss, and me. We keep telling you it’s okay, that you’ll get there, that you can take another step or another month.”
I pointed toward her.
“Meanwhile, you’re twenty-three years old and letting two people decide whether the man you sleep with, study with, fucking cry to, and call when you’re scared is acceptable enough to exist in your life.”
Her face looked stricken. I hated what my words did to her, but she needed to hear them.
I struck the heel of my hand against the center of my chest, hard enough that the sound cracked through the room with my voice.
“El hombre que te folla hasta dejarte sin sentido con mi nombre en tus labios.”
My hand remained pressed to my chest while I stared at her, knowing she didn’t understand a fucking word of the Spanish.
“Me, Charm. The man who fucks you senseless with my name on your lips.”
Her lips trembled as recognition moved through her face. “What do you want me to do?”
“Tell me what happened at the dinner.”
Her mouth closed.
“?Dímelo!”
She looked at the floor.
“Charm, for fuck’s sake, tell me already.”
“They knew.”
The anger left me so quickly that it felt like falling. “What?”
Her voice shook. “They already knew about you.”
“Since when?”
“The fair.”
My jaw tightened.
“One of Daddy’s colleagues has a son at KFU. He saw us.”
“They knew since the fucking fair?”
She nodded.
“And said nothing?”
“They thought it would pass.”
A slow laugh left me. “They thought I was a phase.”
Charm wiped her face. “My mother laughed when I told her I was bringing my boyfriend to Thanksgiving.”
Every muscle in my body went rigid. “She laughed?”
“She thought I was joking.”
“What else?”
Charm shook her head.
“Dímelo,” I repeated, lowering my voice.
“They took me outside.”
I didn’t move.
“She said you were beneath me.”
The apartment fell silent as something inside my chest went very cold.
Charm kept talking now that she had started. “My dad said you weren’t my future. They said you had no foundation. My mother brought up your reputation, and Daddy said you were dangerous.”
I looked away because if I kept watching her, I was going to say something I couldn’t take back.
“I told them you had a degree. I told them Klein loved you and that they didn’t know anything about you.”
My teeth clenched. My degree shouldn’t have mattered. Klein’s approval shouldn’t have been the piece that made me worthy of sitting at their table.
“And?”
“My mother said it didn’t change what she thought.”
I nodded slowly. “Pendejos.”
“Ryan.”
“No.” I looked back at her. “Don’t fucking defend them right now.”
“I’m not.”
“You have been defending them for weeks.”
“They’re my parents.”
“And they called me beneath you.”
Her tears came harder. “I know.”
“They called me dangerous without meeting me.”
“I know.”
“They decided I had no fucking foundation because I wasn’t born with theirs.”
“I know!” Her shout broke. “I know, Ryan.”
The fight drained out of her. She didn’t collapse completely, but her shoulders folded inward as though keeping herself upright required more strength than she had left.
“They keep apologizing,” she said, her voice wrecked. “My mom calls and says she was emotional. My dad says they were blindsided. Then they say they want to give you a chance, and I start hoping they mean it.”
I stayed quiet.
“Then one of them says something else. It’s never as bad as what they said at dinner, but it’s enough.” She pressed both hands over her face. “I’m tired.”
That reached me.