Chapter 17 #2
A pang cracked through my chest. Her words had hit hard, destroying my earlier mood. “Um, I’m sorry, Julian.” I kissed the back of his hand. We’d been living in this fantasy world where we’d shoved all reality aside.
“Yeah, I know.” He wound an arm around my shoulders and leaned against me, resting his cheek on my shoulder. In a croak, he said, “I don’t want you to lose your parents because of me.”
What was he saying? “But I can’t lose you either, Julian.” With my heart aching, I nuzzled the side of his head. “I won’t lose you, and if my parents don’t understand, then I’ll deal with it.”
“I should probably go.” He lifted his head and stood. With a sigh, he said, “Walk me to the door?”
“Of course.” Snatching his hand, I led him to the front door. Margot had ruined the entire evening. If only she’d told the truth about her plans. Then we might have spent another evening at Julian’s and…fuck it. We had to face reality.
As we approached the door, Julian turned to me. “Alex, I’m sorry the evening fell apart.” He brushed a lock of hair from my face. “I’ll look for a solution with the team.” He offered a sad grin. “We have Hopkins and Jarvis on our side. I’m sure they’d help any way they can.”
“They will. Those two are solid.” But what the hell would I tell my parents? “I’ll, uh, I’ll speak with my sister. She’s not close-minded like my parents. Maybe she can help me with them.” I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “She’s still at home. Her season doesn’t start until mid-November.”
“Okay.” He threw his arms around me, giving me a fierce hug. “I can’t lose you either. Not now.”
The ache in my heart lessened. It would be a long night. I already knew I wouldn’t sleep. After breaking the hug, I kissed him one last time. “Goodnight, Julian.”
“Goodnight.” He left for his car.
I had to speak with Tanya. After thinking all night about solutions, it was clear I’d need her advice and support.
After the gym and working with our trainer on my wrist, I sat on the couch at home with my phone in my hand.
My wrist had improved, and I didn’t need the brace anymore.
With any luck, I’d start playing next week and would only miss one week of the regular season.
We’d have our home opener tomorrow night against Vegas, and then we’d hit the road.
I’d spend my afternoon and evening with the team, reviewing footage and mentally preparing for the start of our season. Would I have time to see Julian?
I called Tanya’s number and set the phone on speaker, glancing out the open patio doors into the backyard, bathed in late afternoon sun and shadows.
“Anno, Lyosha.” She chuckled. “How’s the wrist? I saw an injury sidelined you.”
“Oh, it’s…better.” I held up my wrist and twisted slightly. I couldn’t do that a week ago. The pain was almost gone. I should make some small talk first. Was I putting off the inevitable? Probably. “How are things at home? Is Mom fattening you up?” I let out a soft snort.
“She’s trying.” She huffed an exhale. “But I’m spending more time in the gym doing my interval training. I want to be in top shape this year before camp starts.”
“Oh, good for you.” Her dedication to the sport rivaled mine. I took a calming breath as my chest squeezed. I should get this over with. “Hey, I need to talk about something serious with you.” She’d accept me. Hell, she had queer teammates too.
“Okay? What’s going on? Are they trading you? The injury isn’t that bad, is it?” she asked.
“No, nothing like that.” Except they might if my secret with Julian came to light. “It’s on a personal level.” Nausea balled in my gut, and my hands trembled. Fuck, this was hard, and it was only my sister. How would I ever tell my parents?
“Lyosha, talk to me. I’m here.”
“Are you sitting down?” Way to stall some more. I clenched my teeth, willing my pulse to slow the fuck down.
“No, I’m walking through the park,” she said. “Shit, I see a bench. I’ll sit.”
Thank God she wasn’t at home. I didn’t need Mama overhearing us, and I hadn’t thought to ask if she were home. “Okay, remember when I told you I was working with the owner’s son, Julian?”
“Yes. I looked him up. He sounds like a handful.” She chuckled.
Oh, he was a handful, all right. With my voice shaking, I said, “Well, turns out I’m…uh, I’m queer and I’ve fallen for him. I, I think...” My eyes stung and my vision blurred. Where had these emotions come from?
“Bo-zhe moy, Bratishka. You’re finally admitting this to me?” She cooed, “Vsyo khorosho. Don’t you worry, it’s all right.”
With a sniffle, I wiped my eyes. Her support for me never wavered. Not for anything. She offered me safety, unlike anyone else. “Spasibo, Sestryonka.” Wait, finally admitting? “What did you mean—”
“I’ve wondered for a while now, Lyosha. You’ve only had one girlfriend, and you were never very, how shall I say it? Affectionate with her.” She giggled.
“Oh, Margot.” Damn, somehow I’d hidden my sexuality from Mason, but not my sister. “I never told you, but she’s staying with me right now. Well, she’s moving out next week.”
“She is? Why?”
“She found a job here and needed temporary housing while she searched for an apartment. Well, she found one.” Her befriending and moving in with Stephanie seemed quite convenient.
Had she befriended her because she worked with my team?
I picked at a fold in my joggers. “She caught us together last night, me and Julian.”
“Ah, so now you’re telling me about it today? Is she threatening you?” Lowering her voice, she said, “I never liked that girl. I think she only saw dollar signs with you.”
I shook my head. Mama hadn’t liked her either, and I’d heard this before but had never believed them. Maybe it was true? “She’s not threatening me. In fact, she promised to keep my relationship with Julian a secret.”
“Okay.” She scoffed a chuckle. “Then why are you suddenly coming out to me the day after?”
“Because she brought up some good points. She’s in public relations, you know.” With a sigh, I shifted on the couch. “I’m traveling with Julian for games, and it’s hard not to show how we feel for each other. If we’re caught by the media, they’d blast our relationship all over the sports news and—”
“Papa would see it and murder you.” She chuckled. “This is tough, Lyosha. I’m glad I’m not in your position.”
“Not helpful.” I scoffed a laugh. “Listen, I’ll need your help. My goal is to tell them beforehand in case something happens. How do you suppose they’ll take it?” I held my breath.
“Mama will cry, and Papa will be angry. Furious, even,” she said.
“I really don’t know beyond that. But I believe given enough time, they’ll at least tolerate it, maybe even accept it.
” She inhaled. “I have some friends who are a lesbian couple and live together. They have religious parents, and the parents know the truth but insist on believing they’re just roommates and best friends.
Maybe this is how Mama and Papa will settle it in their minds? ”
Could I live with that? Could Julian? It wasn’t the end of the world. “Okay.” I nodded. “I don’t know when I’ll find the courage to do this, but when I do, will you back me up?”
“You know I will. I’ll do my best to talk some sense into them.” She scoffed. “Hell, I’ll even force them to PFLAG meetings if they’ll go.”
I snickered. “You know Papa will never do that.” He was the most stubborn man I’d ever met and viewed anything remotely resembling therapy as weak.
“No, but Mama might,” she said. “Just do me a favor and warn me before you do it? ‘Cause you know the first thing they’ll do is call me and ask me if I knew about it already.” She chuckled.
“Sure, I’ll warn you.” How long could I put this off? I pursed my lips. “I’ll wait until I have a few games under my belt and then maybe I’ll do it.”
“Okay. Just don’t get caught with your pants down, literally, before then.” A soft giggle escaped her. “And Lyosha? I’ve seen his picture online. He’s a handsome man.”
Warmth swirled around my heart. “Yeah, he’s feisty too.” My thoughts returned to his reaction to Margot last night. “Anyway, thanks for your support, and I’ll speak with you soon. Say hello to Mama and Papa for me.”
“I will. Poka, Lyosha.”
“Poka, Tanya.” I ended the call. The next few weeks, I’d have to find my strength. But I’d need to coordinate with Julian and my agent before coming out.