Chapter Twenty
Billie
The first night Carter and I slept together was amazing, so amazing in fact that in the month since then, we haven’t spent a single night apart from one another. Whether it’s in his bed or mine, we end the day with sex and snuggles before we both slip into the sweetest slumber either of us have ever had. At least, it’s been the sweetest for me. From the contented look on Carter’s face when we wake up every morning, it’s safe to assume he feels the same way. He is my new favorite body pillow, and I’m already used to his presence not only in my bed, but also in my heart. The desire to spill my feelings is hard to resist, but I do it every day because even though I’m pretty sure I’m in love with Carter, I still have no idea of what I’m supposed to do with my life.
The party planning didn’t pan out, and since then no other ideas have really come to me. I enjoy working at Hodgepodge. Each day brings a new set of people to chat with and steer around the store, helping them find exactly what they need or didn’t know they wanted until I showed it to them. It also allows me to explore my more creative side by talking with the artisans and always keeping an eye out for new and exciting items that the store might want to showcase. As much as I love my time there, it’s not exactly what I went to school for and if my parents weren’t already disappointed in me for getting so off track in life, they certainly would be if I wasted the education they paid for. Maybe they would just be happy that you’re happy.
The thought springs to mind just as Maya returns from her lunch break, a bag from the local craft supply store dangling from one hand. No doubt it’s full of more yarn for her to create baby booties and stuffed animals with for her crochet business. Ever since the beginning of August when JJ started going to preschool and I’ve gotten the hang of things at the shop, she’s been spending more of her time on her own thing and doing quite well if the sheer number of orders she’s been fulfilling are any indication. As she bounces over to the front counter, a grin comes over her face when she sees me. “Hello,” she says cheerily. Her smile is so bright it almost hurts to look at it, but it’s impossible not to return it either.
“Welcome back,” I tell her. Grabbing the bag, I peek inside and chuckle at the multiple skeins of yarn that confirm my earlier suspicions. “I can see that your lunch break was productive.”
Maya laughs and starts to unpack her purchase. “Very . ” Brown, black, and white yarn is pulled out along with other smaller items that she will use to make something spectacular that I have no name for. “I’m starting on two pairs of brown bear booties with matching stuffies today for a couple who is expecting twins. How cute will that be?”
“So cute,” I agree. Picking up the brown, I run my hand over the soft fabric and smile at the thought of asking Maya to make booties for my own baby someday. When I picture my future child, they have moss green eyes just like their dad’s, but that won’t become a reality if I don’t get my act together. When my eyes move up to hers, she smiles knowingly at me but says nothing. I’m not sure what her brother has told her about us, but it’s clear that she knows something is going on. Still, I’m glad she’s not commenting on it. Unlike the yarn that is meticulously wrapped and orderly, my thoughts and feelings are a tangled mess. Maya’s expression is the exact opposite, full of confidence and a certainty of self I can only imagine having. “You look happy.”
The emotion is practically radiating from her every pore as her smile grows. “I am happy,” she states matter-of-factly. Her eyes study mine for a moment before she speaks again. “Are you?”
The question has me immediately thinking about Carter and my mouth pulls at the sides. Spending time with him makes me happy, working here with him at the store makes me happy, but when I start to think about my professional future, the question draws a blank and makes me feel a little less sure about everything else in my life. My shoulder lifts as I struggle to answer the question. “I don’t know. Maybe?” The words sound so stupid when I say them aloud. I am beyond privileged to be in the position I am, spending time with an amazing guy while working a job that is satisfying and living in a great town. Anyone else would probably answer with a resounding Yes, but I can’t get past my own jumbled thoughts to say it.
Maya comes around the counter and pulls me into a hug. She smells like apple pie and my stomach growls at the thought of having a slice. She chuckles at the sound and pulls back, but not before giving me a pointed look. “Well, you either are or you are really spectacular at faking it, but I don’t think you’re that good of an actress. No offense.”
“None taken,” I admit. My heart feels happy, but my mind is another story, so the answer to her question is still a bit of an unknown.
I look over at Maya to see her eyes narrowing at me slightly. “Have I thanked you for your help at the shop? I know you had a rough couple of days in the beginning, but you have been invaluable. In fact, the only person I’ve seen run things as well as you have is my mom.” Maya’s eyes get a little glassy, but she blinks away the tears that threaten. “They would have loved you, you know? My parents.”
“Carter said the same thing,” I confess. The amount of happiness that brought me is immeasurable. That he thinks his parents would not only approve, but love me, makes me feel a sense of belonging that I’ve been missing outside of my own family.
She nods like this isn’t news to her and simply smiles at me. “Well, he’s a pretty smart guy, and for whatever it’s worth, I’ve never seen him happier than I have since you showed up.”
My heart soars at her words, but I’m not sure what to say in return, so I stand there and nod dumbly. All of this information is helping to clear away the mess in my head, but not entirely. The back door opens and at the sound of heavy footsteps, we both turn to see Carter striding in carrying a toy box. My heart nearly beats out of my chest with excitement at seeing him, but the thought that he deserves more than a woman with a giant question mark where her future is concerned creeps in and dampens it slightly.
As he strides closer, I can see the color of his eyes is slightly more jade than evergreen today, and I wonder if it isn’t the happiness Maya mentioned broadcasting out through them. “Good afternoon, ladies,” he says. He nods at his sister before leaning down and kissing my temple. We haven’t really discussed public displays of affection, but I find that I don’t mind the modest show of how he feels, even if it does have his sister looking at the two of us like we’re a pair of adorable puppies.
“Aww,” she coos, snatching her yarn up and dumping it into her bag. “I’m going to go take my afternoon coffee break.”
Carter lifts a brow at her. “Didn’t you just take your lunch?”
Maya scoffs as she makes her way toward the door. “Part-owner’s prerogative.” After sticking her tongue out at her brother like the mature twenty-something she is, she smiles at me and saunters out the door.
“Well, that wasn’t at all obvious,” Cater mutters. “But now that we’re alone, I can do this.” When Carter’s soft lips brush against mine, all my thoughts melt away in favor of sinking into the bliss that is his kiss. For someone who proclaimed to need to practice dating, he sure as hell didn’t need to practice this, or anything really. He just needed a confidence boost, and I am happy to have provided it. Carter pulls back and opens his mouth to say something, but the shop bell rings out again. “Did you forget something?” he asks, but when his eyes move toward the door, they widen as an apologetic look crosses his face.
My gaze follows his to find a beautiful, red-headed woman coming inside. She breezes past the display cases on her way over to the counter, her eyes lighting up when she sees Carter. Her red bow of a mouth turns up into a smile for him as she ignores me almost entirely. “Hello again.” Her melodic voice rings out as she gives Carter an obvious once over. “I didn’t forget anything, but it’s been a while since I stopped in and thought I would see if you have anything I might be interested in. Remember me?”
Carter smiles politely and nods. “Um, it was Ms. Montgomery, right?” She nods and his eyes come together in thought. “Did you want to take a look around? Billie can guide you through the store if you’d like. She knows this place better than I do now.” My chest squeezes with happiness at his words as well as the look of absolute pride on his face.
The woman ignores me and his question in favor of batting her eyelashes at him, leaning over the counter in a suggestive manner that would make a lot of men stand up and take notice, but not Carter. He only has eyes for me which is both a relief and a bit of a problem since technically we aren’t even seeing each other and I’m supposed to be helping him get ready for the dating world, one that includes the woman that is practically throwing herself at him right now. “No. Today I’m just browsing, but I absolutely love the work you did on my stools. I can’t stop admiring the craftsmanship.” Her eyes flick to me dismissively for a moment before moving back to Carter. “Have you given any more thought to private lessons? I’m still very interested.”
Woodworking lessons aren’t what she’s interested in, that much is obvious. Jealousy and possession rocket through me, and while I would love to reach up on my toes and kiss Carter, staking my claim for this woman to see, I know I have no right to do that. For his part, if Carter is affected at all by her glaring attempts to flirt with him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he moves closer to me and shakes his head at her. “Sorry, no. There are still too many safety issues involved.”
The disinterest in his tone speaks to another reason why he’s saying no, but the woman doesn’t seem to pick up on it. Undeterred, the redhead presses on. “Well, maybe you could just talk to me about it over a cup of coffee or something instead.” She ignores his brushing her off and leans further across the counter, her boobs practically spilling from her top, and I make a mental note to disinfect the surface the minute she leaves. “It could be fun.”
Carter smiles tightly at her. “Thanks, but the shop keeps me pretty busy.” He steps back toward the office. “Speaking of which, I should get back to work. Enjoy your browsing.”
“Thanks,” she calls. Her face is pinched as he walks into the small office and shuts the door. With one last glance at me, the redhead marches from the shop without looking at another item.
Glaring at her back as she walks out, the moment the store is empty again, I spin on my heel and open the office door. Carter is inside, sitting on the chair with his hands clasped. “Is she gone?”
“Yes,” I admit, though the jealousy I felt still lingers like a bad cough. “Why did you brush her off?” Even though it kills me to think so, he should be jumping at the chance to go out on dates now that he’s more confident.
Carter frowns and stands from his seat. “What are you talking about?”
“She asked you out.” I gesture towards the store and sigh. “What has all this practice been for if you don’t accept offers for coffee from beautiful women who are obviously interested in you?”
His frown deepens, but he says nothing as he steps closer, his woodsy scent wafting over me and making me momentarily light-headed. Closing my eyes, I relish the feel of it, wondering if it might be for the last time. Maybe my prodding will have him rethinking his rejection of the buxom redhead and I’ll be alone again. The thought makes me nauseated, but the feel of his calloused hands grabbing mine causes it to disappear. “Look at me, Billie.” One eye squints open and he shakes my hands until I open both entirely. “Hear me when I say this. What we have been doing has never been just practice for me. You have never been just practice.” He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly as his eyes bore into mine. “You’re so much more than that.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod. It hasn’t really felt like just practice to me either, but I’m not sure I’m ready to admit that yet. Carter’s eyes narrow at me before he leans down and kisses my forehead. “I can see you still need some convincing.”
“Carter—” I start, but stop when I don’t know what to say.
He smiles and kisses my lips briefly before he walks toward the door. “I’m going back to work, but be prepared because I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow, Biliyana Kochev . A very real date . ”
With those parting words, he’s out the door. As I’m left standing in the office like a dork with no idea what just occurred, two things happen. One, I have the feeling that things between the two of us just escalated and I’m going to need to figure my shit out sooner rather than later. And two, I can’t stop smiling.