Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Bellcolor
B ar said that lust is a sin and passion is the source of hellfire, but as his mesmerizing eyes stare at me, piercing straight into me, all I can see in the blue and green is fire. Does he really and truly believe that? Because if so, I can see his system of beliefs collapsing one piece at a time.
I wasn’t lying, I wanted to feel that I mattered for a change. My whole life, every decision was made for me, every fucking day of my life was run by a schedule that wasn’t mine, and from the moment I took my own life I’ve felt that I ceased to exist. There was just the expectation that I’d evaporate and clear my pitiful existence away to make room for Lilith. The only times I felt that someone was seeing me was when Bar looked at me. He may despise me, I know I’m nothing more than damned to him, a purpose to fulfill, but recognition was and is still there. In his eyes, his body, the hot air his lips exhale.
“If you see me, then take me.”
“It’s forbidden. You’re my forbidden fruit. It would be fatal.” I see him deliberating. My blood’s boiling as his eyes wander over me. “Then taste me. Just a little harmless taste…”
His eyes flash. Embers ignite. I take off his coat. His pupils expand with anticipation. I slowly spread my legs and lean back.
If he sees me in the role of the villain, then I’ll play the part. Either way, I’ve got mere hours left in this world. No time for remorse. It’s time to take everything he’ll agree to give me.
“Fuck…” he blurts out between the heavy panting his silent lungs produce.
My blood is hot, my skin is burning. If his gaze alone scorches me, what might his touch do to me?
I sit before him, spread out, offering myself, but he still refuses to be tempted. I run a single finger between my folds, then raise it to his lips.
“Just a little taste…”
His eyes hover over my body. He runs his tongue over his lips, and that’s all it takes to defrost him out of his petrified position, and he pounces on me like I’m his last meal. His lips are on my breasts, licking and sucking my nipples, and I grunt like we’re the last two people on Earth.
“Oh God!” My groans encourage him and he aggressively grasps my thighs. I gladly accept the pain of his touch. He licks my skin savagely, like a wild beast in the throes of madness. How the hell could he believe anything happening here was bad? I’ve never felt so alive, so needed. Part of something powerful, like finally understanding there’s meaning to my life. I arch my back as he bites my nipple, and the moans my throat produces sound like a prayer I send skywards. Because who else could create such pure sensation if not for the king of the holy ones? “God in Heaven,” I whine as his lips brush down my belly more ravenously than I knew was possible. Sharp pulses of need whip between my legs and I swim in the ocean of desire Bar is drowning me in.
I’ve finally jumped into the water. I’ve decided to live.
I’m lost, surrendering to his touch. For a moment I think I’m losing my grip on the land of Adam, as his lips meet my pussy and a scream erupts from the darkest, most hidden places in me. “Oh God!” I arch my back, my head rolls back, and I grunt as he sucks on my pulsing clit, throbbing just for him, throbbing just because of him. “Bar… Bar…” I praise his name and writhe in sensual intoxication as he uses my body as he pleases.
“Fuck, you’re so sweet, my personal forbidden fruit,” he grunts into my most private place, which I’ve given to him willingly, and my whole being trembles.
If this is Hell, how is it I feel so ascended? If I reach out, could I almost touch the clouds and make my way to the gates of his promised Garden of Eden? The pressure in my lower belly increases. The Promised Land is galloping towards me and I give myself over in absolute surrender. Fireworks on speed, like the fucking Fourth of July, explode before my eyes and blur my vision as Bar licks me lustfully. My body is pulled upwards and plummets back down to the ground. My chest rises and falls wildly, my blood roils and butterflies flutter in my stomach.
Bar runs his tongue over my vagina, lapping at the evidence my desire. He lies next to me, hissing curses, mainly aimed at himself, and my body is drawn to his like a magnet. He falls silent at once and pulls me close. I want to say so many things, but my throat won’t make a sound. What do you say when you taste life just before you part ways with it?
And how can I tell him that after everything he’s awoken in me, I don’t want to part ways with it anymore?
God help me. I already acknowledge my sins but now I’ve entrapped Bar too. I have no remorse, because for the first time in my life I dare to want more, even more than what Bar has given me.