Chapter 11 - Shane
After Hyacinth flees the room, I sit in the sudden silence, feeling almost as shell-shocked as if I just survived a disaster or car crash.
I lean forward on the table and put my head in my hands, rubbing my scalp. I feel like an asshole for saying that to Hyacinth, and I know I could have delivered it much better—but so far, it’s the only thing we know for sure that is supposed to work in coaxing out a witch’s powers.
What if she said yes? Would we be tangled together on this table right now?
Details threaten to invade my head, and I get up quickly, refusing to let myself dwell on it. I can only hope that we find a different way to break the curse—and that I haven’t absolutely doomed all of us by bringing Hyacinth here.
Tentatively, I creep down the hallway, stopping by her door and listening intently. I immediately notice that my ears aren’t as sharp as they used to be, and I can’t even hear her breathing on the other side.
I touch the door lightly, wanting to open it and check on her, even if all I do is confirm she’s safely inside. The idea of invading her privacy and scaring her dominates that urge, though, so I end up turning away and creeping back up the hall.
When I reach my own room, I feel wrung out and exhausted. I sit on the edge of the bed, seeing nothing but problems stretching out in every direction.
I’ve never felt so lost. For the first time in my life, I truly don’t know what to do.
My body begins to ache, and I collapse on the bed, letting myself relax. I don’t expect sleep to come with my mind churning so hard, but my thoughts begin to blur, and when the dark wave of unconsciousness comes, I’m grateful for it.
***
The first shred of dawn light wakes me, and I sit up immediately, scowling at the window where the faint silver glow peeks through the curtains.
It’s like my anxiety awakened with the rising sun. Even worse, I feel like I didn’t sleep at all.
When I get up to change my clothes, I’m truly alarmed by the weakness in my body. It takes effort to pull out the drawers of my dresser, and my feet feel too heavy to lift.
Am I just tired, or is this the curse?
The thought frightens me so much, I violently turn my mind away from it and go straight down to the kitchen to put on some coffee. My stomach is bubbling like a poisoned potion, but I know I have to eat, so I choke down a piece of dry toast.
As the sun finally begins to reach a decent hour, I go down the hall to Hyacinth’s room and knock lightly on the door.
“Hello? Hyacinth?”
“Go away!” she snaps.
“I just want to know if you’re okay.”
“I’m not. Thanks for asking.”
“Look, we should talk,” I say, exasperated. “I’ve made coffee—why don’t you just come out and have breakfast with me?”
“You’ll have to forgive me if I decline your offer,” she replies. Her voice sounds hoarse, as if she’s been crying. “But I have a previous engagement.”
Even though I feel awkward as fuck, I chuckle a little, hoping it was a joke.
“Seriously, come out and have some coffee,” I say. “I’m sorry for last night. I really was just repeating what the other alphas told me.”
There is silence for a moment, and I can hear her breathing and her light footsteps as she gets closer to the door.
“I don’t know what to believe,” she says. “All I know is I am not ready to come out and talk to you.”
Sighing, I rest my head against the door, feeling a new type of pain and frustration piling on top of everything else. “Fine,” I mutter, knowing my voice is coming out harsh, but unable to stop it. “Come out when you’re ready, then.”
As I return to the kitchen, I see my phone buzzing on the table and pick it up. There’s a string of messages from the infirmary, as expected, and a couple from work.
I haven’t shown my face at work for a couple of days. It’s surprising they haven’t said something before this. I am the boss, though, so maybe they don’t really care.
I tap my finger on the edge of my phone thoughtfully, an idea teasing my mind. Before I can question it too much, I text Sadie and ask her if she can come talk to Hyacinth and bring Trina as well. Sadie replies with an affirmative and adds that she’s on her way.
I’m sitting miserably at the table, sipping my coffee, when I hear the girls come in. I call out to them without getting up, and the second they enter the room, they look at me in shock.
“Shane, is everything okay?” Sadie asks, hurrying over to me. “Did something happen?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Nothing new, anyway. I’m just feeling the effects of the curse, and I had a nasty fight with Hyacinth last night.”
“Oh?” Trina asks. “What about?”
“I told her… about… You know. How your magic was activated.”
“Oh,” Trina replies.
“Oh,” Sadie affirms. “That’ll do it. Why don’t you head out—I’m sure you’ve got things to do today—and we’ll stay for a bit and try to talk to her.”
“That would be great,” I say. “Is Rhys at work?”
“Yes, he’s in the shop today.”
“Okay, cool,” I reply. “Thank you, Sadie.”
I head out, desperate to get out of the house. Even though work is the last place I’ve wanted to be lately, today it feels like a welcome escape.
***
When I pull into the shared parking lot between my parts shop and Rhys’s work shed, I see Rhys and Owen standing out back. After I park my car, I go over to join them.
“Shane,” Rhys says, looking over at my car, then at me. “How can you own a parts store and drive an absolute heap like that?”
I shrug. “You’re the whiz at taking them apart and putting them together. The parts mean nothing to me—they’re just numbers on a page.”
“And don’t argue about that,” Owen says to Rhys. “Your chop shop was in serious trouble before Shane took over the retail aspect of it.”
“I just like fixing them,” Rhys says defensively. “I don’t give a good goddamn if a custom muffler is supposed to cost three hundred—I need the right part for the job.”
Owen laughs. When I don’t join in, both of them finally look at me properly.
“Oh,” Rhys says. “You told her, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” I sigh.
“It didn’t go well?” Owen asks.
I shake my head.
“You don’t have to be here,” Rhys says, giving my shoulder a gentle shake. “We can handle your shop as well as ours.”
“Yeah, I know,” I reply. “I just need to distract myself for a bit before I go to the infirmary.”
My friends look away, and I know both of them are suffering a heavy dose of guilt that my pack is swiftly going down the drain while theirs are fully healed.
They aren’t, though. And if it doesn’t work out with Hyacinth, everything could get flipped upside down. All of us are still in danger.
“So… how is it? With Hyacinth?” Owen asks carefully.
“I asked the girls to go over to the house,” I reply. “They’re with her now. I’m just hoping we can make peace at this point.”
“I understand,” Rhys says. “Is there anything I can do?”
I shake my head. “No. Nothing I can think of. I’ll let you know, though.”
We go our separate ways, and once I get in the office, I’m able to lose myself in numbers and stock-taking for a few hours. When the day begins to draw to a close, a cold, tight feeling seeps through me, and I start to wonder how many people died today.
It was cowardly coming here. But I just couldn’t stand another day in that hospital, feeling helpless. My presence there does nothing, anyway. Whatever hope I bring is quickly washed away by even more despair.
I say goodbye to my workers and walk out to my car, my focus on getting to the infirmary and what I might find when I get there.
I won’t be able to avoid this again. I will be stuck here, or with Hyacinth, until we break this thing.
That thought shocks me, an icy chill cascading through my blood and making my skin prickle.
What if we don’t break it? What happens then?
Even though I knew theoretically what would happen, I never thought about it practically.
My mind is suddenly full of people dying, one after the other, dropping so fast that we don’t have time to bury them.
My own strength would wane, and I’d be powerless as the sickness wiped out all three packs and eventually reached the elders.
And what then? Would the girls be alright, or would they die, too?
As I pull up at the infirmary, the thought strikes me with a ring of truth. The witches would live. I know next to nothing about magic and curses, but it just feels right that Lynette’s curse would wipe out every wolf and leave her witches alive.
And at their full strength—awakened by us! This thing is a twisted fucking clusterfuck, that’s for sure.
When I enter the infirmary, I see hope blooming on everyone’s faces, and it makes me feel worse than I have all day.
I have nothing to give them. All my people look to me like I’ve got the answers and I’m going to save them—and I have nothing.
At first, I try to avoid the beds of the sick and move supplies with some of the others. Eventually, though, we’re done with the heavy lifting and the only jobs left to do involve changing sheets, administering drugs, and talking to the patients.
Seeing hope on the faces of the ill is far worse than seeing it on the others. They light up as I approach, most of them grabbing my hand with desperate fear. One older lady with long silvery hair refuses to let me go, and I’m forced to sit beside her.
“Alpha—you’re here! I knew you’d come. We’ll be better soon, won’t we? You have it all under control?”
“Yes,” I say, my voice smooth and confident. “I have a plan, and it’s all coming along. Don’t worry about a thing.”
Liar. You fucking liar.
“I knew it,” she replies, laying back and relaxing. “I knew you would. I don’t mind so much for myself—but my grandson, he’s in here, too. It won’t be much longer, will it? You’ll fix us?”
“I will,” I promise her, meaning it even as I feel like an absolute fraud. “Don’t worry about a thing. Your grandson will be home before you know it.”
“That’s… wonderful…” she murmurs, drifting off to sleep as her strength wanes.
I step away from her bed, relieved that I won’t have to lie to her further, and stagger outside to gulp in breaths of fresh air.
I look out across the nearby park and the woods on the other side of it.
I can barely see the details of the trees or hear the scurrying sounds of prey animals in the leaves.
How does it start? Do we die slowly, one by one? Or all at once?
My chest suddenly tightens, and I know I’m going to slide into a panic attack if I don’t keep moving. Turning back towards the door, I realize I just can’t go back in there. I head for my car instead.
Sitting behind the wheel, I watch the sun sink towards the horizon. As hard as I try to think of a solution, all I manage to do is give myself a headache. Finally, I realize the truth.
I don’t believe this is going to work. Even if Hyacinth is the right one, and we consummate… I don’t think it’s going to cure us! That’s why I’ve been freaking out so hard!
Anger sparks in my chest. I welcome it, because it’s more useful than despair. I start the car and slam it into gear, eager to get home.
I need to talk to the girls and find out if there’s been any progress with Hyacinth. We have to do something to avert this disaster—or prepare for the absolute worst if we can’t.