17. Dex’s Big, Fat Mouth
Chapter seventeen
Dex’s Big, Fat Mouth
Dex
“Unholy shit,” Rusty said.
“I knew Cya was rich,” Gem said, “but I didn’t realize they were this rich.”
One of his many hands waved at the grand mansion rising before them, and Dex nodded his agreement. He’d also underestimated just how wealthy Cya’s family was, but good gods, their house—and even calling it a house felt like an insult—was fancy.
Behind wrought-iron gates, a gravel driveway led to a two-story mansion made of white stone, with a fancy marble fountain in front, surrounded by flowers and landscaping.
A four car garage connected to the left side, one door open to reveal the dark sedan Hemersyn always drove to pick Cya up from school.
“Unholy shit,” Rusty repeated, and Dex nodded again.
“Hmm, I’ve seen better,” Enfys—Rusty’s Lepid friend—said in a light Sloth accent, her orange wings opening and closing lazily.
“What? When?” Gem demanded.
“You do realize rich people are a sex worker’s biggest clientele base, right?” Rusty said.
Gem squeaked and shot a worried glance at Dex’s sister. “Shh, don’t talk about sex work in front of impressionable ears. No offense, Enfys.”
Since Jasmyn was too busy gaping at Cya’s house, Dex waved off Gem’s concern. “She’s Deaf, remember? She can’t hear you.”
Gem slumped in relief. “Right.”
“Sorry, Dex’s mom,” Rusty said, causing Dex’s mother to laugh.
“We don’t disparage any type of employment in my house,” she said with a pat to Jasmyn’s head. “And call me Ellyn.”
“Your mom’s so cool,” Gem whispered, and Dex nodded.
“Yeah, she’s the best.”
He grinned as his mom reached behind Jasmyn to drag her thumb down the side of his neck. Her eyes were tired from another long week, but her responding smile was as lovely as ever.
“Well, are we just gonna stand here and stare?” Enfys asked, lower hands on her hips as her upper arms crossed over her flat torso.
She wore a pair of shorts, the zipper and button open to display the bikini bottoms underneath, and a mesh shirt that showed off the matching bikini top.
Gem was dressed similarly, although he didn’t wear a shirt to cover his high-neck bikini top.
They both had belly button rings, Gem’s a studded jewel, Enfy’s a dangling, sparkly thing that gleamed in the sunlight.
Honestly, they were both hot, but the air of confidence and sex appeal Enfys wore confused Dex’s hormones.
On one hand, she was hella intimidating with her dark, compound eyes and sharp, predatory grin.
On the other, Dex had a feeling she would rock his shit in ways that would change his life forever.
Or kill him. Probably kill him.
Hips swinging, Enfys strode confidently to the button beside the gate, strappy heels clicking against the pavement, and pushed it. There was a buzz, then the speaker crackled to life with Hemersyn’s voice.
“Vysov residence.”
“Hemersyn, my man!” Dex called before Enfys could speak.
The Avia chuckled, then the speaker fell silent and the gate opened with an electric whirr.
“Do you think this gravel is expensive too?” Dex asked as he carefully stepped onto the driveway.
“I’m pretty sure the air we’re breathing is expensive,” Gem whispered.
“Don’t be judgy,” Dex’s mom scolded them all. “I can’t imagine Cya can help how rich their parents are.”
“And trust me,” Enfys purred with a seductive smile and a playful flip of her black, shoulder-length hair, “with what these rich folk get up to, you stop being intimidated real fast. They’re all freaks.”
Jasmyn giggled, having paid enough attention to read the Lepid’s lips, and Enfys shot her a wink. Then she lifted a hand and signed, “Don’t tell your mom I said that.”
Surprise and delight lit up Jasmyn’s face. “You sign?”
“A little,” Enfys responded as they moved as a group toward the entrance ramp leading to the front double doors made of dark wood. “I have a”—she hesitated, glancing at Dex, then his mom—“friend who is HoH.”
As they walked up the front ramp, the double doors opened, revealing Hemersyn dressed more casually than Dex had ever seen him.
He wore a white polo shirt and khaki shorts, the neutral colors offset by the bright reds, yellows, and oranges of his plumage.
The tips of the feathers around his face and on his crest were graying out, betraying his age.
“Welcome,” he said with a warm smile. “Please, come in.”
They entered in reverent silence, like they were standing in an ancient cathedral instead of a modern house.
Everything was shiny and made of light stone or dark wood.
Jeweled chandeliers hung from the ceiling, old oil paintings decorated the walls, and tall, skinny tables lined the halls, displaying vases and sculptures that probably cost more than Dex’s yearly salary.
“Don’t touch anything,” Dex told his sister at the same time his mom signed the same thing.
Jasmyn scowled at them both but, eventually, nodded her agreement.
The grand entry hall was beautiful, but it was cold and echoey. A mausoleum, not a home.
“Oh, hello,” Cya said from the top of the grand staircase—er, rampcase? “How wonderful that you’re here.”
All thoughts of crypts and intimidating wealth and Enfys rocking his shit fled Dex’s mind as Cya slithered down the ramp, jewelry chiming with their graceful movements.
They wore a purple sarong fastened in a knot at their left hip, the fabric loose and fluttering, and just the tiniest, stringiest bikini top on their chest.
For the first time, Dex could actually make out their boobs, though they were so small he wondered if he could even call them boobs. They wouldn’t even fill his hands, not that he was imagining cupping their breasts or anything. Definitely not that.
Delicate chains draped their arms from the golden cuffs on their biceps to the bands just under their elbows.
Another circled their waist where their bronze skin melted into the first smattering of scales, the links of the chain connected to the emerald gemstone in their belly button.
They’d lined their eyes with coal and dusted their lids with glitter, and when they met Dex’s gaze, the crests of their cheeks darkened a shade.
“Hi,” they said, nerves making their voice tremble slightly.
“Hey. Hi. ’Sup… my dude,” Dex said, and a wrinkle formed between Cya’s eyes. “You, uh, you look, like, kaboom”—he pantomimed an explosion—“and your house. It’s, like, whoa! You know?”
They cocked their head. “What?”
“It’s like a museum in here,” he said, pointing to the vases and sculptures. “I’m surprised you don’t have any of those signs, saying, ‘Do Not Touch!’ Ha ha ha.”
He swallowed the awkward laugh, internally facepalming. What was wrong with him? Cya had always been hot, so why was it turning him into a crazy person now?
“Oh, I didn’t think signs were necessary.” Cya cast Hemersyn a worried look. “But please, don’t actually touch anything. My mother will be quite cross if she comes home and one of her prized vases is broken.”
“For sure. No prob-lay-mo, cap-ee-tan.” Dex saluted them. “Museum rules, everybody. Look, but don’t touch. Which is, honestly, a great rule for life too. Shouldn’t go around touching people without express consent.”
Cya was frowning now, like they were having trouble following his train of thought.
“What is happening?” Gem whispered in Rusty’s ear.
“I don’t know exactly,” Rusty whispered back.
“Kinda wish I had some popcorn, though,” Enfys added.
“Dex, sweetie,” his mom said.
“Shall we adjourn to the veranda?” Hemersyn offered.
“Oh my gods, gross!” Jasmyn signed. “I can smell your boner.”
“I gotta talk to my sister right now in private!” Dex cried, making Cya jump at his sudden volume.
Grabbing Jasmyn by the wrist, he hauled her back outside before she said anything else horribly embarrassing. Behind him, he heard Cya stammer out a greeting to everyone else, followed by a, “Mrs. Triever, I presume? It’s wonderful to meet you. Dex has told me a lot about you.”
Outside, Dex dragged his sister out of view. “Dude, you can’t just—”
“You have a boner for Cya,” she accused.
“I do not,” he lied.
“Um, tell that to your reeking scent glands.”
“I can’t control my scent glands.”
“Or your raging boner, apparently.”
“Stop saying boner!”
“B. O. N. E. R,” she spelled out. “That’s what you have. For Cya.”
Technically, he wasn’t actually hard right now, even if he easily could have been, but the implications were the same. “Okay, fine! Yes, I like Cya.”
Jasmyn grinned triumphantly. “I knew it. You were all, ‘we’re just friends,’ but I knew you were simping.”
“We are just friends, even if I’m simping, because I don’t think Cya’s into me like that.”
Her dubious expression was, honestly, pretty validating, until she said, “Oh my gods, why are boys so dumb?”
“You need to be chill about this, okay? And stop yelling about my boner in front of our mom. Just be cool, okay?”
He added extra emphasis to his signs, and Jasmyn nodded. “Okay. I’ll be cool. Just try and keep your uncontrollable lust in check. You’re my brother, and smelling your boner is low-key traumatizing.”
“You’re such a brat!”
She flashed him the sign for asshole, and he flipped her his middle finger.
“Is everything okay?” Glyma asked from behind him, and Dex jumped and whirled around.
The Succubus stood at the bottom of the ramp beside Quin, Willow, and Krul. Toni and Jude were walking up the driveway with Oliver and Liel, Abi and Yve trailing a few feet behind them.
“Yeah, everything’s cool,” Dex said as he quickly introduced everyone to his sister. “Jasmyn and I were just talking about how she can’t touch anything inside. Museum rules.”
“Right,” Glyma said as she ushered her pregnant wife through the front doors.
Dex waited until everyone had gone inside before he turned back to Jasmyn. “Be cool.”
Rolling her eyes, she nodded and trudged past him. He scrubbed a hand between his ears before sitting his cap backwards on his head. He followed his sister back inside, stopping when he found Cya still at the entrance, as if they were waiting for him.