31~ The Decision
I tiptoed inside my home like a robber, with Amayra in my arms. She was snoring and drool was sticking to her soft cheeks. I chuckled lightly and quickly went to my room as soon as the way was clear.
I don't know how my parents will react, provided that I didn't talk to them or Akriti about the issue earlier. Things were getting so complicated that it almost slipped from my mind to talk to Akriti about it. As for my parents, I had thought about telling them about Amayra after marriage.
"Why are you entering like a thief in your own house?", I heard my mother's stern voice and I almost panicked. Almost! But I maintained my calm and turned to face her. She gasped as soon as she saw my baby in my arms and asked, "Who is this pretty girl?"
"Umm mumma can I explain to you later? She's sleeping".
"Oh sure but I need a proper explanation", she exclaimed and I nodded with a sigh. Let's pray she doesn't burst or misunderstands me.
Laying Amayra on my bed, I covered her properly with a blanket and checked her temperature, it was still high.
All the time, my mother was standing at the door, waiting for my explanation. I never felt like this before, I was feeling like I messed up things so bad and disappointed my mom.
"She is Amayra", I said turning to face and she hummed, "And?"
"Umm mom, she's-she's an orphan. I really like her, I mean I love her like-
"You want to adopt her, don't you?", she asked, coming straight to the point and I nodded, looking down. I wasn't able to look in her eyes, I was feeling like a criminal. I felt her scrutinising gaze and then she asked, "Akriti agreed?"
I slowly looked in her eyes and shook my head, scared of her reaction. She casted a deadly look at me and then glanced at Amayra.
"Come outside, we need to talk", my mother commanded and marched out of my room.
Checking on Amayra for the last time, I followed my mother who had already summoned my father.
He was looking at me boringly and raised his eyebrows.
Before I could say anything, my mom started, "Your son is thinking of adopting a baby girl without talking to his fiancé. "
My father's jaw dropped open at the news and he cast an unbelievable look. I was getting really terrified now. Even though I didn't do anything wrong today, I still was feeling like I disappointed them and it was the only thing I feared.
Disappointing my parents is just like a nightmare to me. I can bear anything but them getting disappointed. I was always the obedient and studious boy, I never did anything that would make my parents feel sad or embarrassed but today, I think I really did something wrong, their faces say it.
"It's great that you have decided to give a baby a new life but Adhyay, son, you are getting married. You have to discuss your decisions with your better half", my dad calmly explained, his voice was despondent. I nodded.
"That's what I hate about you both! You never talk about your decisions, you never give your partner the chance to speak, don't you think she has the right to know?", my mother screeched, she was frustrated and angry. It was normal for them to react like that.
"What will Akriti think now? Is she even ready for another responsibility?
", she questioned me. I kept mum, not able to answer her.
I don't know if she'll agree. Heck! She's marrying me for her mother.
What was I thinking? That suddenly one day I'll tell her to adopt Amayra and she'll agree without any fuss?
And then we'll be a small perfect family?
"Adhyay, you should talk to her. What if she disagrees?
", my father calmly asked. I nodded silently, the thought was breaking me, my heart was paining.
I love both Akriti and Amayra dearly and choosing one of them is impossible.
If Akriti disagrees, I will have to leave my Amayra, my piece of heart.
She'll get adopted by some other parent but I wouldn't be normal after that.
And if I choose Amayra, I'll have to cancel my wedding, breaking all ties with Akriti and that would bruise me to no extent.
Already, these years were miserable without her and now that she's willingly taking steps, I don't want to let her go.
Choosing one of them is difficult, either way I'm losing a piece of my heart, ending up heartbroken.
"I'll talk to her tomorrow morning", I informed them in a low tone. My mother nodded in satisfaction and went to her room. My dad patted my shoulder and praised, "I'm proud of you. Don't worry about your mom, she'll come along. And Akriti, she will too but it will take time".
Time, I don't have time. Her mother's surgery is scheduled for next week and she wishes us to see us getting married before it. In just a week how will I convince Akriti about my undying love for both her and Amayra?
Disheartened by the realisation, I walked back into my room only to find Amayra tossing and turning on the bed in discomfort. I quickly picked her up and gently patted her back, trying to put her back in sleep. She coughed and fluttering open her small eyes, murmured my name.
I kissed her forehead and then cheeks to give her comfort.
She wrapped her tiny arms around my torso, and hid her soft face in my chest, taking a deep breath.
I ran my fingers in her hair, trying to give her relief.
She was in pain, I could feel that. Her body was burning in fever even though I fed her the medicine.
Even I had the same problem when I was young.
I was very susceptible to cold and every now and then I used to fall sick.
The irony was that not even the strongest doses of medicines gave me relief and I had to suffer with intense fever and body ache.
A smile made its way to my face when I remembered how mom used to take care of me, just like I'm doing for my baby.
Every night she would snuggle me in her welcoming embrace and whisper sweet words of comfort in my ears. She even used to feed me Kadha which she had learnt from dadi and forcefully fed me. As much as I hated that bitter drink, it would cure my throat pain and give me some relief.
When I saw that Amayra was in deep sleep, I slowly detached her from me, and tucked her on bed. She let out a deep sigh and snuggled to the pillow. I kissed her forehead and went to change into something comfortable, all the time thinking about my situation.
Akriti is understanding but will she give me a chance?
Will she agree to adopt Amayra? And if she does, then will she be able to give Amayra the love she deserves?
It's not easy for everyone to adopt a child and treat them like they would have treated their own baby.
In my eyes, Amayra will always be my daughter.
I feel as if she was always meant to be with me, but Akriti? I don't know about her.
I hesitantly dialled Akriti's number, wanting to lessen the burden I was feeling.
Heavy was all I felt. It was not because I had done something wrong but because I had hidden things from the woman I love.
She set aside her insecurities and was ready to step into this marriage, whatever it is but I hid such a huge decision from her, because I was scared that she would deny.
She picked the call after two rings and I heard her muttering, "I'm so sorry, I was in the kitchen"
I feel more suffocated now. I looked at Amayra and then I replied, "I need to tell you something"
"What's it?", she asked and I took a deep breath but instead heard a beep sound. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion and glanced at my mobile phone. The call was disrupted? Now? Urrgg! Why can't luck be on my side!
I tried calling her again but the call wouldn't just go.
Frustrated by the network, I fisted my hand and dropped the phone on the table.
Why don't my problems just end? My mother's reaction was unexpected and now I'm sceptical about Akriti's reaction.
Somehow, I was going to tell her but no! That damn network had to interfere!
I heard a knock on my door, breaking my thoughts. I opened the door slightly to find my mother with a tray in her hands, her expressions were still gruf.
"I brought food for her, she must be hungry", my mother explained formally and I nodded, opening the door. My mother entered my room and kept the tray on the bedside table.
"She's really pretty, it is such a pity that her parents left her", my mother sadly said and I nodded. No child deserves this.
I gently picked Amayra and tried to wake her up but she mumbled something, turned to the other side and slept again with her mouth open.
Patting her cheeks I said, "Amayra wake up, have your food"
She groaned and slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the surroundings. She intently looked at me as if she was confused and then at my mother.
"Who is she?", she asked, pointing at my mother. Mom looked at me, trying to say something but I replied, "my mumma"
Amayra shifted to look at me and mumbled, "Mumma? But I don't have a mumma Adhi"
My heart shattered hearing the longingness in her voice and I just held her closer to me. How much has she suffered? How could her parents leave her?
"Can I hold her?", I heard my mother ask. I nodded as she wiped her tears and smiled at Amayra, taking her in her arms. She made Amayra sit in her lap and caressed her hair.
"You don't have mumma, but you have your Adhi and now Adhi's mumma", mom said, making my heart bloom with happiness. She was accepting her, and now was welcoming Amayra.
Amayra innocently looked at her and then her lips curled into a beautiful smile, making me smile as well.
"Thanku Adhi ki mumma", Amayra said and hugged her. My mother glanced at me, her eyes getting watery because of the innocence of my Amayra. She doesn't deserve this pain, Amayra deserves a Princess treatment, being loved by her family.
Mom hugged her back and then kissed her whole face. Smiling, she fed her the porridge she had prepared for Amayra. I felt content, that at least mom was accepting her. Deciding to give them privacy, I went to the balcony, trying to call Akriti. It's now or never.
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