Chapter 17
PAIGE
Remi is twenty minutes late. While being punctual isn’t one of her strengths, it’s unusual for her to be running this behind and especially without hearing from her.
She also knows how important tonight is to Paige.
Is Remi getting cold feet?
Did something happen to her?
“Are we waiting on someone?” her dad, James, asks, startling Paige from her thoughts.
He pushes his hands into the front pockets of his dark jeans.
Even when he was involved in the day-to-day at the inn, he had a relaxed definition of business casual.
Now he’s fully leaned into the laid-back look as his days are occupied by golfing and watching sports with his buddies.
Paige’s gaze flicks to the hostess stand and back to the parking lot. Her mom studies her in a way that makes her skin itch.
“Um so ye—” she starts, when her phone vibrates. Paige lets out an involuntary sigh of relief, then frowns when it’s not Remi’s name on her screen, but Elena’s.
Remi and Paige have hung out with Elena more over the past couple of weeks—sometimes going on double dates and other times having rom-com movie nights with just Elena—but, while Paige considers her a friend, they don’t call each other.
Oh, my god.
Is Remi okay?
Paige’s heart drops to her belly. She barely tells her parents she has to take the call before she’s fleeing outside.
“Elena?” she asks, voice laced with panic.
“Hey, Paige,” Elena says. Her tone is a little uneasy, and it makes Paige’s pulse skyrocket.
“What happened? Is Remi okay?” Paige can’t see the people who make up the small crowd standing outside the restaurant. They are blurs of color that she pushes her way through. She’s halfway to her car, prepared to drive to the hospital or wherever Remi may be.
“Don’t worry. Remi is safe!” Elena sounds a little brighter, trying to reassure Paige. It’s not working. “So …” she says. “Something did happen. Remi’s not going to be able to make it tonight.”
“What do you mean? What happened? Can I talk to her?”
Elena pauses a beat. “Remi will explain. She’s okay … physically. It’s just … She’ll tell you more tomorrow. Is there any way you can reschedule with your parents?”
“We’re already at the restaurant.” Paige rubs her forehead, thinking. She guesses she doesn’t technically have to come out to them tonight.
“Shit. I’m sorry. Remi would be there if she could.”
“And you’re sure she’s okay?” Paige asks. Her heart rate still hasn’t returned to normal levels.
“I got her, Paige,” Elena says. “Enjoy your dinner. I have to go, okay?”
“Okay,” Paige says, because what else can she say? She can’t demand Elena tell her what’s going on or insist she have Remi call her.
Elena hangs up, but Paige wishes she could call her back. The conversation has her more confused than she was at the start. Groaning, Paige sags against the hood of her car.
She doesn’t know what’s going on with Remi, but it’s worrisome that she didn’t reach out herself. At least Elena said she’s okay. Or … wait. She said she will be. As in, she’s not currently okay?
Screw it.
Paige dials Remi. The phone rings and rings before her voicemail picks up. Paige’s eyes fall shut, and she hangs up without leaving a message.
A text comes in from her mom.
Mom:
Everything okay?
Not even close.
But there’s nothing she can do to help.
Reluctantly, Paige pushes off her car and heads back inside.
* * *
Paige brushes aside some lettuce and stabs a crouton. Her appetite disappeared, but she’s doing her best to pretend. Her parents’ conversation is a distant hum as her mom, Julia, updates them on the latest drama Paige’s sister has found herself in the center of.
Discreetly, Paige taps her phone screen to make sure she hasn’t missed a text or call from Remi. For the hundredth time since sitting down in the booth, there are no new notifications. Paige suppresses a sigh and continues picking at her salad.
“So, Paige?” Julia says. “Paige?”
She glances up. “Sorry. What?”
Her mom wipes her mouth with her napkin, then tucks a strand of wavy blonde hair behind her ear. “You said there was something you wanted to talk to us about tonight. I was asking you what it is.”
“Oh. Um.” Shit. Both her parents look at her expectantly. James pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
It never crossed Paige’s mind that Remi wouldn’t be here, so she’s not mentally prepared to come out to them alone. With their full attention focused on her, she starts to squirm.
But, also, Paige is tired of this secret looming over her head. Remi or no Remi. She needs to tell them.
“Mom. Dad. I, um … I’m in a relationship.”
“As long as it’s not with that Tyler joker,” James grumbles and reaches for his pint glass.
Julia elbows him in the side. “What?” he mouths. She shushes him and turns to Paige. “What’s their name?”
She doesn’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the lack of gender or the warm way her mom smiles encouragingly, but Paige says it. “Her name is Remi.”
Her dad pauses, the glass hovering an inch from his mouth. A beat passes, then he takes a long pull. Julia’s smile only softens. She looks almost … proud?
“Is that … are you okay with that?” Paige asks, unsure exactly why she does. She doesn’t need their permission or blessing and will continue to date Remi even if they don’t give it, but still. The words are out.
“Does she make you happy?” her mom asks.
The corner of Paige’s mouth tilts up. “She does. Very much.”
“Then that’s all that matters, sweetheart.” She glances at her husband. “Right?”
He shrugs. “I’m just glad it’s not one of your exes. What was that other bonehead’s name? Steve?” He makes a sound of disgust. “I’ll say the same thing to her I’d say to any guy you date: Treat her with nothing but kindness and respect, and we’re square.”
The tightness in Paige’s chest loosens. “Thank you, but I don’t plan on dating guys again—I mean, I hope I don’t have to date anyone again—but, if I did, it … it wouldn’t be men.”
James nods slowly.
“Thank you for telling us.” Julia leans forward. “Now, when do we get to meet her?”
“Soon,” Paige says, hoping that’s the truth.
“Good. You two make such an adorable couple.”
“Thank you. We—wait. How would—?”
Julia covers her mouth with the tips of her fingers. “Whoops.”
Brows furrowed, Paige turns to her dad.
“Don’t look at me.” He takes another sip of his beer.
“Okay, so I maybe saw you two a couple weeks ago.”
“You did?” Paige gapes. “Where? When?”
“I was walking up to your front door when I spotted you two through the window. You were on the couch … kissing.”
Paige’s eyes widen as heat creeps into her cheeks. She covers her face with her hands. How did she never consider that possibility? Remi is right. She needs to be careful how often she leaves all her damn curtains open.
“Oh, god,” she grumbles.
James frowns. “I hope you both were decent.”
“Dad!”
He snorts, and Julia rolls her eyes, as unamused as Paige is. “Of course they were,” she says.
Paige flushes, very aware of how heated their couch makeout sessions can get and that it’s not out of the realm of possibility that her mother could’ve stumbled onto a very indecent scene.
“Okay, so why didn’t you say anything?” Paige asks, wanting to stir the conversation away from her sex life. “You said this was weeks ago?”
“The internet told me not to,” she says.
“The internet?”
Julia nods. “I don’t think I reacted the best when Kennedy told us, and I wanted to make sure I did it right this time.”
Paige’s heart clenches. “Oh, Mom.”
“The internet says you should always wait for your child to bring it up first—that way they aren’t pressured to come out before they’re ready.” She shrugs a little sheepishly. “I tried to drop hints, but I don’t think they worked.”
Damn. Now all the sudden interest in Paige’s evening and weekend plans makes sense. Not that her mom wasn’t interested in her life before, but the recent questions felt more pointed, and she always left out gender when she asked who Paige has been spending time with.
“Can I ask how long you two have been together?” Julia asks.
Paige gives them a condensed version of the truth.
How they started fake dating in April, the wedding was in May, but they didn’t make their relationship official until June.
It’s currently July, so it’s technically only been a month, but that doesn’t feel accurate.
Paige has been slowly falling for Remi since the first day they climbed together five months ago.
Her parents listen, nodding and smiling in the appropriate places, but when she’s done, her mom looks sad. Her face is drawn, and her shoulders are slumped.
“Mom?” Paige asks.
“I’m sorry, Paige, I … that I didn’t make you feel comfortable enough you could tell me—could tell us.”
Her dad nods his agreement.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” Julia says.
Paige takes a beat.
“Thank you,” she whispers, then gives them both a tight-lipped smile. “Honestly, I was afraid you wouldn’t accept it like how you don’t accept me not wanting to have children.”
“Oh, I researched that too.” Julia sits straighter.
James flashes Paige a knowing smirk that almost makes her smile.
“Lesbians can have children. I even found a couple sperm banks that you could—”
“Julia,” her dad scolds at the same time Paige groans, “Mom.”
“We’re eating,” James says. Their main course arrived halfway through her fake dating explanation. James stabs a spear of asparagus.
Paige bites her lip, resisting the urge to laugh. “Mom, it’s not about my sexuality—I know queer women can have kids—I just don’t want to. Never have, never will.”
Julia takes a second to process, her brows dipping together. “Fine, but I still think you should be open to the possibility you’ll change your mind.”
Paige rolls her eyes, but there’s no heat behind it.
“Just agree so she doesn’t say ‘sperm’ again,” James whispers with a glance over his shoulder to ensure he wasn’t overheard.
Julia slaps his shoulder, then says to Paige, “I do accept your sexuality. In case that’s not clear, sweetheart. I love you, and support you, and care about your happiness more than anything.”
“Thank you, Mom. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
“Ditto,” James says. “Now, tell me, is Remi a basketball fan?”
Paige laughs. “Sorry, but I don’t think so.”
He harrumphs. “Damn.”
“She’s really into college football though.”
“Which team?”
“Michigan. Duh.”
James’s grin stretches from ear to ear. He points his fork at Paige. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
She smiles and reaches for her drink.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Julia asks when she catches Paige checking her phone for any missed notifications.
“I’m not actually sure what’s going on with Remi tonight,” Paige admits. She tells them about her phone call with Elena. “I know something big happened, but I just want to know she’s okay.”
Julia picks up her silverware for the first time since their conversation started. “Could something have happened to a family member?”
“Maybe? I don’t know.”
“Well, I hope not,” Julia says, then cuts into her steak. “I’m sure you’ll hear from her soon, sweetheart.”
Paige pushes broccoli around her plate. “I hope so.”
“Well, my goodness, this is so exciting,” Julia says. “I can’t wait to meet her. Your first girlfriend. You know I always thought …”
She continues talking, but her voice fades out as Paige’s mind snags on the words ‘first girlfriend.’ The clues slot into place, and she snatches her phone off the table, pulling up Instagram.
She’s never looked before, but she bets if she goes far back enough, she’ll find it on either Remi or Elena’s profile.
Remi told Paige the date once, but she can’t remember it now. Only that it was a Friday in July. Paige feels like crap for not doing a better job of remembering something so big.
“Sweetheart?” Julia distantly asks.
There it is!
On Remi’s page. A photo from 2017 of Anna’s gravestone.
Briefly, Paige spots a blanket with a basket and food spread across it in the bottom corner.
Paige ignores that and zooms in to read the date.
July 17th, 2015. It only takes a moment to double-check today’s date.
She’s expecting to see it’s the seventeenth, so it makes her pause when she sees the eighteen staring back at her.
Paige’s lips twist, thinking about everything that happened yesterday. Remi didn’t mention Anna, but didn’t she once tell Paige that she and Elena like visiting Anna at her grave every year on the anniversary? Why didn’t she go? Is that why she’s so upset tonight?
Paige isn’t sure.
But she does know one thing.
She needs to talk to Elena.