Chapter 19
PAIGE
…twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two.
Paige finishes her count of Remi’s freckles and restarts. She can’t explain it, but there’s something so relaxing about it. Remi’s arm is currently draped across Paige’s back, and she really has to pee, but she refuses to move.
Remi needs the sleep. Plus she looks so content and peaceful, Paige can’t stomach waking her up.
After Remi’s shower last night, she insisted on hearing how dinner with Paige’s parents went.
But the second Paige was done telling her, she was adamant they lie down.
Yesterday was emotional for Remi, and she was visibly exhausted.
Crossing her legs to calm down her bladder, Paige restarts her count of Remi’s freckles. She’s halfway through when Remi stirs, rolling backward. Paige takes the opportunity to ease herself free and slide out of bed.
Remi’s still sound asleep when she’s done in the bathroom, so she pads into the kitchen to cook breakfast. Bacon sizzles on the pan as Paige cracks eggs into a bowl.
“Mmm, this smells good,” a raspy voice murmurs against Paige’s ear before strong arms curl around her waist. Paige leans back into Remi’s warm chest and tilts her head for Remi to plant a soft kiss to her cheek.
“I was hoping to be done before you woke up.”
“Of course you were.” Remi chuckles.
Paige hands her a piece of bacon from the paper-lined plate beside the stove. Extra crispy just the way Remi likes it.
“Thank you, Princess.” She leans against the counter, openly staring as Paige continues cooking. “Why’re you so perfect?”
“I’m definitely not, but thank you.” Paige finishes pulling the last of the bacon from the pan and flicks the burner off.
“No, seriously,” Remi says. “Like, I understand ‘nobody’s perfect blah blah blah,’ but you”—she steps toward Paige and sets her hands on her hips—“are perfect to me.”
Paige softens. “You are to me, too, baby.”
Remi smiles, then grows somber. “Can I tell you something?”
There’s a seriousness to her tone that has Paige taking Remi’s hand and leading her to the couch. The French toast can wait.
Once they’re settled in, legs tucked under their bodies facing one another, Paige reaches for Remi’s hand. “What do you want to tell me?”
“Last night I had to confront something I was lying to myself about.” Remi takes a deep breath. “I’ve always said I have bad taste in women, but I’m finally admitting it’s more than that. I pursued the wrong women intentionally, because I was self-sabotaging.”
Paige squeezes Remi’s hand, her heart pinching.
“I didn’t think I deserved to fall in love again. Why should I get to be happy when Anna can’t be?”
Remi looks away, concentrating on her breathing. Paige takes Remi’s free hand in hers.
“I always went after women who were emotionally unavailable. Not over their ex. In love with their best friend. Straight. Or … so I assumed.” The corner of her mouth twitches.
“I’ve had a crush on you long before we talked for the first time.
You knocked the air from my lungs the first day you walked into the gym.
I let myself feel those things because I thought there was no chance anything would come from it—I thought you were straight. ”
Paige lets out a small, surprised laugh. She thought she was straight too.
Until Remi.
“I’m really glad I let myself develop feelings for you,” she whispers.
Paige couldn’t be more thankful Remi did.
“Summers are hard for me. Too much downtime really messes with my head. That’s why I like to work at the summer camp or I jam pack my schedule. It helps, because, usually, July seventeenth … it’s something I’m hyper aware of.
“I started this summer off the same way, keeping myself busy with climbing and cooking. But being here—with you—it didn’t feel like a distraction. It feels like where I’m supposed to be. It feels like what I want the rest of my life to look like.
“Paige, you make me feel things I’d never thought I’d ever feel again. You give me butterflies. You make me all warm and gooey inside. You make me smile and laugh. You make me feel seen, understood, and accepted.
“You … you make me feel safe. I didn’t know how badly I needed that. You … You’re my home.”
Tears well in Remi’s eyes. Paige wants to pull her girlfriend into her arms, but she can tell she’s not done, so she waits.
“Paige, you are everything I never knew I needed. I love you.”
Paige grins. Finally. She’s been waiting weeks to say these three little words. Almost slipping multiple times.
“I love you too.”
“Really?”
“Of course!” Paige laughs breathlessly and pulls Remi’s face to hers so she can kiss her. Their lips collide with an intensity that takes her breath away. Their mouths attempt to say what their words cannot.
Paige is panting as she pulls back. Resting her forehead to Remi’s, she wants a turn telling Remi how she feels.
“I think I started to fall for you the first day we met. You told off a random dude because you could tell he was bothering a complete stranger,” Paige says. “You don’t know how much that meant to me.”
Remi smiles wryly. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
Paige laughs. “I know you would.” She strokes her thumb over the back of Remi’s hand.
“You’ve made me feel things I never knew were possible.
I’ve spent most of my life wondering if I was broken because, no matter how hard I tried, I never experienced half of what romance books and movies talked about.
“And then you came along. You also gave me butterflies. You made my insides feel warm and gooey too. I’ve realized I had feelings for you for a long time, but it was the night you helped me land the dynos that I knew it was more than that.” She looks up into Remi’s eyes.
“I never would’ve had the courage to face my fear of heights head-on if it wasn’t for you. You see me in a way no one ever has. You believe in me so much it makes me feel unstoppable. You push me in all the right ways, all while you stand quietly and patiently at my side, supporting me.
“You make me feel brave. So, yes, of course I’m in love with you. You’re my home too.”
Remi’s smile is contagious, and Paige mirrors it as she curls into Remi’s side. Strong arms tighten around her. Remi kisses the top of her head.
“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?” Paige asks.
“I want to fill you in more on the details of last night, but I can do that after we eat. All I can smell is the bacon, and my stomach is growling.”
Laughing, Paige says, “Oh, good. I think I accidentally left the griddle on, and I’m not trying to set the kitchen on fire.”
“Oh, please don’t.” Remi intertwines their fingers and then pulls her hand up to kiss the back of it.
“Especially not before you get the chance to officially move in one day.” Paige winks, playing it off like she’s teasing, but also being a tiny bit serious.
“If I get to wake up to a home-cooked breakfast every morning, I’ll move in tomorrow.”
“Do I have to be the one to cook it? Because I do manage a little inn—you may have heard of it?—that prepares a fresh breakfast every day, and I can make that happen.”
“Well, shit. I’m sold.”
Paige laughs before Remi pulls her in for a kiss. Her hands are on Paige’s hips. Paige’s fingers curl into her hair.
They’re both smiling as they pull apart.
Paige thought she knew what it meant to be in love, but now she knows she never once came close before.
Not until Remi.