Chapter 22
Another month of weekend sleepovers with Juniper has passed. Another month of falling deeper into her endless sapphire eyes. Another month closer to our inevitable end.
One month until I leave. I’m not ready.
I’ve fallen in love with the ranch, the endless Montana skies, the scenic mountains, and the people here.
I try not to think about it.
I’ve finally worked up the nerve to have a conversation with Mr. Calhoun about Athena. I asked him if he’d be willing to meet with me this morning after I get the new group settled, and he agreed.
I don’t know why this has me so nervous. The worst he can do is say no—he’s not going to fire me for asking if I can buy a horse—and if he says no, I’ll keep looking.
Even if the thought of leaving Athena is upsetting. She and I have bonded. We have a mutual understanding of each other, and I know she’d be a great barrel horse. I just need to take the time to train her.
After I’ve left the new group in the care of Kathy to be shown their cabins, I head to the office building. I have to wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans twice in the five-minute walk because I’m so nervous.
After knocking and being told to enter, I press my shoulders back, straightening my spine. I need to approach this with confidence.
He’s sitting at the computer, with thick black glasses perched on his nose. “Howdy, Addison, take a seat. What can I do for you today? Everything okay?”
I perch on the chair across from him. “Everything is fine. I was hoping to talk to you about something a bit more… personal. If that’s okay."
He takes his glasses off, folding them and putting them in the hardshell case on the desk before he leans forward. “Is this about my daughter?”
“Wh-what? No. Why would you think it was about Juniper?”
I can’t get a read on his expression. His mouth is set in a firm line, brows furrowed, fingers interlaced in front of him on the desk.
Is he mad? What does he know? Did Juniper say something? I didn’t think she’d tell anyone about us, but she’s a lot closer to her parents than I am to mine, so maybe she did. I know her mom suspects something.
Mr. Calhoun chuckles. “I may be pushing sixty and wear glasses, but I’m observant. But I’m guessing from the look on your face that’s not what you’re here for. Marj says it’s none of my business anyway, so go ahead.”
I try to wrap my head around what he’s saying. I want to dive deeper into what he means, but I know if I don’t ask him about Athena right now, I’ll lose my nerve.
“It’s about Athena, sir. As you know, I’ve been riding her all summer, and she and I have formed quite the bond.
I’m not sure if you’re aware that I lost my horse about two years ago and haven’t been racing because I haven’t found a horse I connect with the way I did with her.
I’ve been saving and looking for one and—”
“And you found that in Athena.”
“Yes. I was hoping you would consider selling her to me. I think she’d be a natural when it comes to barrel racing. She just needs a little training.”
Mr. Calhoun leans back in his chair and rubs his mustache.
“You know, when we buy horses, our intention is to let them live out the rest of their lives on the ranch. I know not every horse is meant for the trails, like Honeysuckle, but every one of them deserves a safe, comfortable, happy home. We rarely sell them or rehome them. Where will you go after this summer?”
“The woman who taught me how to race has a training facility. She’s always begging me to come help her train, but… I haven’t felt ready to, until now.”
He makes a sound of understanding. “And what’s changed?
Your daughter. The ranch. Athena.
“I think riding Athena and learning that I can connect with another horse has helped heal the parts of me that broke when my horse died. I had closed myself off to the possibility of competing, but I think I’m ready to try.
There’s something about Forget Me Not Ranch that’s helped put me back together again. ”
“Ya know, I’ve seen you compete. You’ve got a natural talent for racing, and I think with the right horse, you’ll bump right back up the ranks. But I won’t sell Athena to you.”
My heart sinks, but I try not to let it show. I give him a nod, curling my fists against the rough denim of my jeans so I can hold myself together. “I understand.”
“I won’t sell Athena to you, because I want to give her to you. Think of it as a bonus for all the hard work you’ve put in this summer.”
“Are you serious right now? I-I can’t just take a horse. I have the money, I promise I can pay.”
“I have no doubt about that, but it’s no good to me. I can see a bond between a horse and a human, and what you and Athena have is special. Just make sure you invite me to your first competition. I’d love to come see you two in action and cheer you on from the stands.”
I sniff away the pesky tears of joy trying to break free. I’m not a crier, but I’m overwhelmed with so many emotions. Gratitude, relief, and a bit of hesitation. I can’t invite him to a competition, right? That would be weird considering he’s my boss, and I’m fucking his daughter in secret.
“Of course. Yes. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Mr. Calhoun.”
Maybe Juniper would come with him.
No, she said it herself. The night we met was extremely out of character for her to be in Vegas, let alone at a rodeo.
Besides, I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if she was in the crowd.
All I’d be able to think about is getting my lips on hers again and surrounding myself with her floral scent.
“For the love of all that is holy, please call me Sullivan. How many times do I need to tell you? There’s no need to be so formal.
” He stands and rounds the desk, holding his hand out for me to shake.
I stand, too, taking it. “I’ll have Juniper draw up a bill of sale, and once that’s all squared away, Athena will be all yours.
Will you need a trailer to take her home?
I know the Hayeses have a few extras lying around. ”
“Thank you, Mr.—er, Sullivan. I could use a trailer, yes. But please, let me at least buy it from them.”
“I’ll let you work that out with Oscar, but I’ll warn you now, he’s probably not going to accept your money either.”
I don’t think I’ve met a more generous group of people than the people in Copper Creek. I’ll miss this entire town when I leave.
“I’ll send it in the mail, dollar bill by dollar bill if I have to.”
“I have no doubt about it.” His watch beeps, and he checks the time. “If there’s nothing else, I’ve got a date with my wife. We’re heading to the Iron Horse to taste their new menu.”
“Nothing else. Have a good afternoon.”
“You, too.”
I exit the office first, feeling a rush of excitement and relief.
Athena is mine. I’ll spend the rest of fall and winter training with her to get her ready, and come this time next year, I’ll be back on the road.
Living out of my truck and cheap motel rooms, going to every rodeo I can, hoping to qualify for the bigger prizes.
A vision flashes in my mind: Juniper sitting in my passenger seat, chatting away about whatever’s on her mind, my hand resting on her thigh, her hand on top of mine with a ring on her wedding finger.
God, I can picture her after my run, waiting to give me a kiss and tell me she’s proud of me, no matter how I score. We’d celebrate or commiserate by tangling up in the hotel bed sheets, losing ourselves in each other’s bodies.
I want that. I want more than anything to ask her to come with me.
If I thought she’d agree to it, I would have asked her already.
I won’t put her in a situation that will make her anxiety worse, though, so I'll have to live with the fact that I won’t get that experience.
In a month, I’ll be saying goodbye to her forever.
I fucking hate this.
I head to the barn to tell Athena the good news. When I slip inside the doors, I listen for anyone else to be in here, but I only hear the shuffling of hooves and the huffs of the horses.
Grabbing a handful of oats, I make my way to Athena’s stall. She sticks her head out when she hears me approaching, nickering when she smells the oats.
“Hey, girl. I talked to Sullivan, and you’re going to be mine soon.
” I hold the oats up and let her eat them from my palm while I pet her mane.
“We have to soak up the ranch as long as we can, okay? I know you’ll probably miss it, but I promise, where we’re going will be great, too.
It’s warmer in Nevada, and you’ll get to run more than you do here. ”
Hot breath puffs against my hand as she finishes her snack. I move my palm to her nuzzle and stroke the white part. “Maybe we can come visit someday. Or maybe that would be too hard. I don’t know. All I know is I’m glad I’ll have you to keep me and my broken heart company when it’s time to leave.”
After a few more pets, I leave her with a kiss on her nose, heading to the mess hall to meet everyone for lunch.
Entering through the back employee entrance, Oakley and Juniper’s familiar giggles reach my ears.
I find them covered in a light dusting of powdered sugar, the white powder spread across the silver workbench.
“What the hell happened to you two?” I wash my hands and grab two clean towels, handing each of them one.
“Someone dropped the bowl we were supposed to make frosting for the cookies in, and the powdered sugar went flying,” Oakley says, sending a pointed look at Juniper.
“I only dropped it because you handed it to me without looking!”
“Gotta have better reflexes then, babe, I don’t know what to tell you.”
Juniper wipes the fluffy sugar from her face but misses a smudge right above her left eyebrow.
“Hey, you missed some,” I say.
She swipes at her face again, but misses entirely, three separate times.
“Here, let me.” I cup her face and swipe the sugar away.
Her sapphire eyes meet mine as she bites her lip, subtly leaning into my touch. The smudge is gone by now, but I can’t seem to make myself pull my hand back. Her soft skin under my calloused thumb always has me craving more of her.
“Awww,” Oakley says. “You two are cuter than a bug’s ear. But please, if you’re gonna to continue to make googly eyes at each other, do it out of my kitchen.”
Oakley’s interruption brings me back to reality, and I step away from Juniper, immediately missing her touch.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just getting sugar off of her face.” The lie tastes sour on my tongue. I want to take the words back, especially when Juniper’s face shudders.
“You’re so full of shit,” Oakley says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I see you sneakin’ out on the weekends. I see how you look at each other. Hell, everyone does, but no one else has the balls to bring it up.”
One look at Juniper twists my stomach into knots. This interrogation is making her want to flee, I can tell. She keeps glancing at the door like she’s waiting for the perfect moment to get the hell out of here.
If she runs, I’m going after her.
“Oakley, I already said it was nothing,” Juniper whispers. “Please drop it.”
My heart sinks to my stomach. Her words feel like dousing a fresh cut with rubbing alcohol, even though I understand why she’d say it.
What we have is not nothing. It’s everything, and I know she feels that way, too.
The words flow out of me before I can stop them. “It’s not nothing, but what’s happening between us is no one else’s business. Yes, Juniper and I have been spending time together, but I’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.”
A knowing smile spreads across Oakley’s freckled face. “I knew it. I promise I’ll keep it to myself, but I need to know everythin’.”
“No,” Juniper and I say at the same time.
“Ugh, you’re no fun. Fine. But promise me one thing, okay? Because I care about both of you, and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. Promise me you won’t hurt each other.”
Juniper and I lock eyes, and I know she’s thinking the same thing I am. There’s no way to stop the heartache when this ends.
“We promise,” Juniper says.
I nod.
“Good,” Oakley says. “Now, help me clean this up so we’re not behind.”
We spend the next twenty minutes cleaning up the dusting of sugar, then helping frost cookies before we head to lunch. The whole time, I’m bursting at the seams to tell Juniper the good news about Athena.
I guess that’ll have to wait until later.