Chapter 24
I wake up in a cocoon of floral scent and hair tickling my nose—a common occurrence these past two weeks.
I love it. I love waking up surrounded by Juniper’s warm body.
There have been a few times she’s jolted in her sleep, whimpering like she’s had a bad dream, and I hate knowing she’s been suffering through nightmares alone.
Who will comfort her in the middle of the night when I’m gone?
I shouldn’t be worrying about it. Juniper’s an adult, and she was clearly handling it before she met me. But I can’t help myself. I never want her to be in any pain.
Then don’t leave.
That singular thought keeps crossing my mind. What if I didn’t leave?
But she hasn’t asked, and I won’t invite myself to stay. There’s every chance she’ll be completely fine when I’m gone, and I’ll be stressed for nothing.
She sighs and stretches awake, curling deeper into me before she tilts her head and blinks up at me. God, I’ll never get tired of her sleepy morning smile or the way her dark eyelashes blink up at me.
“Good morning, sunshine. Sleep well?”
“Mhmm. How about you?”
I squeeze her closer. “I slept great. I wish we had the day off so I could spend it with you.”
“Me too, but we’ve got lots of activities planned today, so it’s all hands on deck.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I have two different trail rides today. I hope they’re not all inexperienced.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. We should get going, though, so we’re not late.” She moves to sit up, but I pin her back down.
“Not before I’ve had my breakfast,” I murmur, kissing her before I wiggle my way under the sheets.
After breakfast, we meet everyone at the mess hall for a real one. Rusty’s gone, setting my nerves on high alert.
“Briggs, where’s Rusty?” I ask the burly man across from me.
“Bunkhouse. He was up all night puking.”
Fuck. I can’t do the trail rides alone with the number of people we have; someone needs to be in the front, leading the group, and someone in the back to make sure everyone’s following. “Are you doing the trails with me, then?”
Briggs shakes his head. “Can’t. Shane needs help.”
Well, double fuck. That means Shane is out, too. Landry can’t help because they need to be here to prep, and Kathy needs to be here to turnover some of the cabins. Sullivan joins our table and immediately sees Rusty’s empty chair.
“Rusty’s out,” Juniper explains when her dad raises an eyebrow at her. “He’s been throwing up all night.”
“Ah. I hope he feels better soon. I hope it wasn’t food poisoning. I’ll send Kathy over with some electrolytes and crackers. Who’s helping Addison with trails today?”
“Shane needs my help, so we’re out,” Briggs says.
Sullivan pins Juniper with a look, and they have a silent conversation I wish I were part of. Especially when Juniper tenses next to me and immediately starts shaking her head.
“No, no. Daddy, you know why I can’t,” she whisper-shouts. She’s talking about her anxiety, and I’m sure she doesn’t want the guests to overhear.
“Addison, Juniper, meet me in the kitchen, please,” Sullivan says, standing from the table. He takes his plate with him, and Juniper and I follow suit.
When we’re in the privacy of the kitchen, Juniper sets her plate down and crosses her arms. “I can’t go with them. There are too many things that could go wrong on a trail ride, and I don’t have ample time to prepare for it.”
“June-bug, I’m sorry, but we don’t have another option. These people are expecting a trail ride, and we can’t let them down.”
“Why can’t you go?”
“I’ve got a meeting with a horse rescue about a few new horses. I don’t have time today.”
Her eyes pinch shut, and her fingers tap a rhythm on her thighs like they do when she’s anxious. I hate this. I hate that I can’t do anything about the situation; it’s not my place. If it were up to me, we’d cancel the whole excursion so she wouldn’t feel this way.
I don’t give a damn if the guests paid for a trail ride. I only care about Juniper.
“Fine.” She turns to me and gives me a tense smile. “Let me go change, then I’ll help you tack up. Do you want me to lead or bring up the rear?”
“Whatever you feel most comfortable with. I don’t have a preference.” Lies. I hate being at the back, but I don’t matter as much as she does.
“I’d rather be in front, if that’s okay.”
“Whatever you need, sunshine.”
Even in the very back, with six horses between us, I can sense Juniper’s anxiety.
Her shoulders are scrunched nearly to her ears, and she keeps rolling them to get them to relax, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
Luckily, Daffodil’s not upset by her mood, and she leads the riders with ease.
I’m hoping the farther along we get, the more she can relax, but I watch her like a hawk in case she doesn’t.
I’m surprised when she starts giving the same spiel about the ranch that I usually give, and her voice shows no signs of distress. She answers everyone’s questions with ease, even if her body is screaming that she’s uncomfortable.
Maybe I’m the only one who sees it, because I know her. I’ve seen her body relaxed, and this is far from it.
She lights up when we reach the wildflower fields. Some of the flowers are dying already as the weather starts leaning more toward fall, but our guests still gasp, pulling out their phones and cameras to snap pictures.
While they marvel at the scenery, I pull Athena up next to Daffodil and gently knock my toe against Juniper’s. “How are you holding up?”
“All I can think about is what would happen if one of the horses spooked and bucked off a rider. I know it’s unlikely, but what if today just so happens to be the day?
What if there’s loose gravel and a horse breaks their ankle and hurts someone?
What if someone goes into cardiac arrest because they have an underlying heart condition they don’t know they have?
You and I aren’t equipped to deal with that. ”
I blink. Where in the hell did her mind conjure that worry from? My initial reaction is to tell her to stop overthinking, but that would be insensitive. She can’t help where her thoughts go.
I glance around to make sure no one’s looking our way and place my hand on hers.
“I don’t think anything bad will happen, but if it does, we’ll handle it.
I’ve got you, sunshine. I won’t tell you not to worry, but trust that I’ll take care of anything that gets thrown our way.
We’re a team. You don’t have to do this alone. ”
Juniper’s shoulders relax. Maybe what she needed was reassurance. “Thank you.”
“Always.”
The second ride of the day goes off without a hitch, but by the time we get everyone in the mess hall for dinner, Juniper looks exhausted.
She was much more upbeat and relaxed on the second ride, chatting away with the guests, but I can tell the socializing has weighed on her. Instead of staying to eat with us, she made excuses to go back to her place.
As I’m dishing up my food, I realize I don’t want to stay here, either. I grab another plate and dish up the things I’ve seen her get for herself, then grab some foil from the kitchen and cover them before heading back out.
Josiah the cat almost trips me up, tangling around my legs as I walk up the path. Silly cat is always chasing after anyone with food, like he doesn't get fed.
“Go away, you mangy menace. This isn’t for you.”
I swear he understands me because he meows angrily before flicking his tail at me and running away.
I use my elbow to knock on the door, and Juniper opens it just a crack. Her brows furrow as she sees me with the plates, then she opens the door all the way. “What are you doing?”
“I brought you dinner. Trail riding takes a lot out of you, and I know the only thing you’ve got in your cupboards right now is instant noodles. You need real food.”
“Instant noodles are real food,” she grumbles as I set the plates on her tiny table for two.
I pull her into me, placing a kiss on her nose. “Maybe, but are they better than chicken pot pie and peach cobbler?” Her stomach growls on cue, and a smile tugs at my lips. “Come on, sunshine. Let’s eat, then we can shower and cuddle. I’ll even watch that show about the zombies you love so much.”
That perks her up. “Really? But you hate it.”
“I think it’s ridiculous and the plot doesn’t make any sense, but you love it, so I’ll watch it if it’ll make you happy.”
I’d do anything to make you happy.
“Thank you”
The kiss she gives me makes it all worth it.
We spend the rest of the night doing exactly what I laid out, and by the time we’ve made it through the third episode, Juniper is fast asleep. Her head rests on my shoulder, her breath steady and even.
I turn off the TV and nudge her awake. “Come on, sunshine. Let’s get you to bed.”
“Mmkay,” she mumbles sleepily, still halfway to dreamland.
I make her brush her teeth, and I do the same before we get settled beneath the covers. Pulling her so her back is to my front, my eyes drift closed.
“I’ll miss you when you’re gone,” she whispers.
An ache forms in my chest.
“I’ll miss you too.”
More than she’ll ever know.