Chapter 4
four
MERRILY
I’d never had more than an ounce of control over my dreams with Grayson, and this one was no different.
We were in the meeting room the Cabinet used, but the long, rectangular table was empty other than us. I sat in my chair, at one end of the table. He sat in his, on the other. Twenty seats separated us, and I didn't look at any of them.
Or the expensive stone tile beneath my bare feet.
Or the paintings on the walls, a few of which had been created by Liv's mate before they were together.
All I saw was him.
The demon king I wanted obsessively. He was still completely naked, his dark blond hair wild and messy as he sat with his legs propped up on the table, a hand behind his head while he took me in.
Like always, the lust in the air was so thick I could hardly breathe. The need and pleasure his magic provided for me was irresistible.
I'd never managed to keep him out of my dreams. I wanted him too badly.
Grayson's lips curved. The sight alone made me ridiculously, outrageously wet. "My bed feels better with you in it."
"You can't feel your bed when you're in my dreams."
He tilted his head to the side, his smile widening. "Can't I?"
Fuck, I needed to touch myself.
Needed him to touch me.
His magic was heady and overwhelming and so ridiculously delicious. He had me trained to need him like this every night.
"Take those clothes off, Death. You know you're my favorite thing to look at. Let me see you."
I was average height, built curvier and softer than the majority of immortals. He loved that, or at least pretended he did. Considering fate had paired us, I didn’t think he was pretending.
There was no point in acting like I didn't want to strip for him. Not with his magic rolling through the room and my need rolling through me.
No point in pretending the feel of his eyes on my skin wasn't so fucking addictive that it took everything I had not to just climb him. In these dreams, overwhelm couldn't hurt me. The only things that existed were me, Grayson, and pleasure.
I stood long enough to slide my loose pants and my panties down my thighs, before I sat back down on the chair and parted my legs just the way he liked. My bra went over my head, afterward.
"Damn." The growl that escaped him was enough to make my toes curl. "Are you wet for me?"
"You know I am."
"Prove it."
I leaned back in my chair a little and dragged my finger slowly through the slickness around my clit.
The low sound that escaped Grayson was nearly feral.
Some nights, he would only watch me touch myself until he was sated.
Others, he would touch me.
Most nights, he would bury his face between my thighs until I couldn’t think straight, getting me off again and again until he finally fucked me.
I closed my eyes and arched my back, relaxing into my touch. It didn't feel completely real, but it was real enough for me.
I relished the sounds Grayson made, and the slight pull of his magic in my gut as he fed. I moaned and panted, my body moving on that chair in ways it couldn't move in real life while I touched myself in ways I couldn't manage in reality.
Grayson's filthy compliments were the soundtrack of my pleasure.
"God, you're so fucking wet for me."
"Tell me how you feel."
"Show me how you ride your fingers, Love."
"Let me see how much you want me."
I was practically frantic by the time he finally crossed the room and replaced my hand with his mouth, getting me off once, and again, before he slipped out of the dream.
I stared in a daze up at the ceiling as the Cabinet's meeting room faded away. The dreams were usually only an hour or so, but they felt endless.
My hands were in tight fists, my body frozen stiffly in place while I clenched my jaw to suppress a sound of desperation.
It was fine.
I'd be fine.
Being fine was the only option.
I never left the dreams completely satisfied. I always needed more. I could never give it to myself, though, because I couldn't cope with the feel of my own touch any more than I could handle anyone else's.
I slowly rolled out of bed, ignoring the eyes I could feel on my back as I shuffled to the bathroom, mostly clothed and absolutely drenched in sweat. There was no door to separate the bathroom from the bedroom, or me from Grayson.
He didn't follow me inside, and he didn't say a word.
His shadows moved over my skin slowly, like they didn't realize that I was so close to losing my complete and utter shit.
I needed to sink into the bathtub.
Picture myself on a boat, or in a cabin so, so far from here.
I felt more than heard him finally follow me into the bathroom as I started the water running into the bath.
"I want a door," I said to Grayson. "Between this and the bedroom. I like to take baths, and if you're forcing me to stay here, I want privacy."
"Mates don't get privacy from each other." His hands landed on my bare waist, and I closed my eyes at the sudden relief from my magic's hellish price.
Slowly, he walked me away from the tub.
"Put your hands on the countertop," he said, and I peeked through my lashes to see where we were. He'd walked me to the sink.
"Why would I—"
"Now, Love."
The command was so obviously sexual. He gave it the same exact way he would've—and had before—in my dreams.
My hands flew to the edge of the counter.
"You need me," he said, his voice lower.
"Yes." The confession was soft.
Slightly desperate, too.
He lowered his lips to my ear and murmured, "You only get me if you're going to sleep in my bed with my cum soaking the insides of your thighs."
"Oh, god," I choked out, immediately even needier with the words.
"It's going to be rough. My magic will leak out and make you lose yourself in it. You're going to have more orgasms than you think you can handle. Are we clear?"
I could've stopped him.
I could've said no.
He didn’t know this would be my first time, and I was positive he wouldn’t be on board with that.
But fuck it, I wanted him.
And he wouldn’t shift into his true form without having a conversation first, so I knew that wasn’t on the table.
"We're clear," I said.
"I'm going to need a yes, Mer."
"Yes, Darke. Fuck me already."
He chuckled, but there was no humor to the sound as he pushed my pants and unflattering panties down my thighs, lifted me off my feet, and filled me in one brutal thrust.
My back arched, and I gasped in pleasure and panic as the sudden, new stretch of having him inside me took me right to the edge of a climax. It was so different, I didn't have words to describe it.
The way he'd felt inside me in my dreams was nothing like this. There was no stretch. No slight, delicious discomfort. His magic got me to the orgasm—not his actual body.
This was so much better.
"Stop," I breathed, needing a moment to adjust.
Grayson stopped, his gaze dragging down my face in the mirror. "You're close already, and you haven't even felt my magic yet." He slid his hand over my hip before following the curve of my ass and squeezing lightly.
I looked at us, together, in the mirror, as my body struggled to adapt to the fact that I was now being fucked for the first time in my life. I couldn't see him filling me, but I saw the place his abs disappeared, where my bare ass pressed against his skin.
"Okay, I’m good," I said, when I felt a little more capable of handling everything.
He pulled out just a little, and I cursed
He thrust in again, and my nails dug into the countertop, my body fighting the urge to lose control completely.
Grayson's magic finally licked my skin, the feel of it hot and wickedly familiar as he pulled out and thrust in again, rougher.
It was too much.
I spiraled into a climax so intense that I fucking screamed. All I could do was hold on to him, digging my nails into his skin as I came.
He fucked me harder, sending me into another climax before I could recover.
I climaxed again.
And again.
And again.
My eyes burned and my chest heaved and my legs trembled as he dragged me through what felt like my dozenth climax in just as many minutes. My head was pressed to the countertop, his hands on my tits and his growls more animalistic by the moment.
"I can't keep going," I moaned.
"You can." He was keeping himself contained. Barely.
"Come with me, Gray." The nickname slipped out before I could stop it.
I screamed as his magic exploded in the room, sending me into an immediate orgasm as he roared into my ear, fucking me with wild abandon. It was brutal and insane and perfect.
The heat of his pleasure filled me, and just like he’d promised, there was so much of it that it trickled down the insides of my thighs as he finished.
"I never knew sex would be like that," I breathed, dazed with pleasure and magic as I tried to recover.
Grayson went still.
Absolutely rigid.
"What did you just say?"
Had I just...
Oh, shit.
I had.
"Nothing," I said quickly. "I just meant—"
He lifted his gaze, his expression deadly as he met my eyes in the mirror. He was still behind me, and now, I was high enough on the countertop that I could see the place our bodies connected.
Okay, that was hot.
"That was your first time?" he growled.
"No," I lied.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Merrily?"
"It was a good first time," I said, suddenly defensive. "You didn't ask if I was a virgin or not, and you know I can't touch anyone but you without killing them, so—"
"You should've fucking warned me." He snarled the words. "I would've made it better for you, or at least fucking started slow. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"So many things. Not this, though. This was perfect." I held his gaze in the mirror, hoping he'd see the honesty in my eyes.
Grayson's nostrils flared and his jaw clenched, like he was trying to stop himself from saying something else. After a solid two minutes of tense eye contact and silence, he finally wrapped an arm around my waist and carried me wordlessly from the bathroom.
"What are you doing?" I asked as we went. He didn't pull out, and I honestly didn't want him to.
"Cuddling with you. It's the least I can fucking do," he growled. "If you try to argue, I swear—"
"I'm not going to argue. It's fine. We'll cuddle. Just this once."
"It's not going to be just this once. We'll cuddle every time we fuck."
"That sounds like a relationship, Grayson."
"We're mates. We have a relationship. Stop disagreeing." He eased us both onto the mattress, shoving the pillow wall to the side of the bed before he pulled the duvet over our legs and tugged me closer.
I relaxed into the mattress, in a way I hadn't even imagined I could.
Into Grayson, too.
His cock was still buried inside me, hard and thick.
"We should—" I began, but he interrupted me.
"Just sleep." He sounded exhausted.
I was pretty tired too. And he definitely needed the rest.
So, I closed my eyes, and crashed with a small smile on my face.
I'd finally had sex... and it was so much better than I'd ever imagined.