Chapter 5
five
GRAYSON
I woke up disoriented and alone in bed after the best night of sleep I’d ever had.
"Pssst," someone whispered, and my head jerked to the side.
I found Rae sitting up on the back of the chair off to the side of my bed. It stored random shit most of the time, but I'd cleaned it off when I was planning to go after Merrily. Before Leon created more problems and delayed that plan.
Rae's legs dangled over the couch cushion, her hands on either side of her.
Her grayish pale skin glittered with the magical tattoos Charity, the lamia queen's mate, had given her to cover the scars all over her body.
Her gray hair was tied up in a wild bun, her silver eyes focused on the ceiling.
She knew I slept naked, after she appeared in my room one morning and got an eyeful that scarred both of us.
"What the fuck, Rae?" I gritted out, scrubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. "You've got to stop doing this."
"It's the only time I ever see you jump. And your fae queen is on the couch, so be quiet."
I glanced at the door, and found it closed. I assumed Merrily was responsible. "What time is it?"
I didn't have a clock in my room. I'd never slept in before. Not since I was a kid. Young incubi and succubi could feed on emotions in dreams, similar to the way lamias fed in the real world. Around puberty, lust became the only thing that could sustain us.
"Late. Nearly noon. Mia and Charity sent me to make sure no one had you murdered in your sleep. They think Death is here to kill you."
"She is an assassin."
"Not yours, though."
"The woman is mine. When will everyone stop claiming otherwise?"
"The moment she decides to be yours, probably." Rae stretched her arms. "How did your first day together go?"
"Imagine the worst way you'd think it could go, and triple that."
She grimaced. "I did tell you that was going to happen if you abducted her. You can't just steal a fae queen."
"I didn't even abduct her."
"You locked her in your apartment. Same difference."
"If you hadn't warned her, maybe it wouldn't have happened at the worst possible time."
"If I hadn't warned her, Darius Scorch would've already turned this place to ash. Shadow doesn't burn, but our mansion definitely could."
I let out a slow breath. "I don't know what to do here. About any of it."
"What happened?"
"She won't seal the bond. Didn't tell me she was a virgin before I fucked her. Wants to leave. Isn't interested in being mates."
Rae blinked. "Wow."
"Yeah." I closed my eyes. "Did anyone die today yet?"
"One lamia."
"Fuck. Mia's alive?"
"Mostly. Leon got a few bites in. She and Charity locked themselves in their room for now, so you've got a few hours to figure things out with your captive. Dinner will be a shit show, but that's nothing new."
It was always a shit show.
I cooked for myself as much as possible because of that, but I couldn’t let the other demons in the mansion think I was hiding from them, so I couldn’t stay in all of the time.
“What about Sylva?" She was the current siren queen. She was the best one we’d had in the last decade, so I was trying to keep the peace with her, even though she drove everyone insane with her constant requests. She wasn’t trying to seduce me, so she was a world above the last one.
"She went to the spa, so I'm sure she's terrorizing whoever's there."
"Alright. Thanks for the update."
Rae nodded.
She didn't leave, though.
"Spit it out," I said. She wasn't someone who stuck around for fun. If she was still there, she had something to say.
"I think you should just be honest with her, Grayson. She seems pretty reasonable. If you just tell her what's going on, you guys can make a decision together. If she's not willing to play the mate role, you really might have to find someone else."
My gut clenched. "I don't think I have it in me to be with anyone else."
"The alternative is death, without a capital d, so..." Rae shrugged. "Sorry. Sucks to be an incubus."
"You're always so empathetic," I grumbled.
"Dying in a dirt cellar will do that to a girl."
She disappeared into the shadows, like the name she'd given herself.
The Wraith.
Unlike the rest of the demons in Rumor, Rae wasn’t just connected to the shadows. She was a shadow.
Mostly.
She was… complicated.
She was also strictly against relationships of any kind, preferring to stay in her apartment, away from the mansion, as much as possible.
She survived on text messages, video games, and takeout food, with a side of murder.
I was the only person she really talked to, though Charity and Mia had almost managed to worm their way onto her good side over the past decade.
Rae had been sixteen when I found her in a dirt prison the vampire king at the time had kept, ten years earlier.
Her connection to the shadows was stronger than his, so he abandoned her there, assuming she’d starve to death without blood to drink.
He'd worried she was strong enough to challenge him for his throne.
She was.
She’d saved herself with the shadows, becoming one with them in the process. I had no idea how, and had never asked. She wasn’t one to volunteer information, but I wasn't convinced she knew either. She’d never even told me who her parents were and where she'd come from.
I’d killed the vampire king, obviously, but the teenage shadow had basically imprinted on me because of it.
We’d become like siblings as I helped her learn how to handle the world outside the dungeon. I'd lost my family a little over a year before I found her, so having her there had been good for me too. She’d adapted, as much as anyone who survived hell really could.
Her lack of interest in relationships undoubtedly had everything to do with what she’d gone through, but I didn’t push her on that either. Rae would do whatever she decided to.
After rolling out of bed, I pulled some shorts on, grabbed my phone, and debated what Rae had said on my way into the kitchen.
Merrily ignored me pointedly, keeping her gaze fixed on her laptop screen while I silently got out what I needed to make pancakes.
I didn't know much about my female. Not really. Our connection had only ever been about sex.
But I'd heard her and her family talking about going out for pancakes a few months ago. Someone had mentioned they were her favorite, when they were leaving.
While I mixed the batter, I decided that Rae was right.
Nothing had improved between us in the twenty-four hours I'd had Merrily in my apartment. As much as I didn't want to open up about what was really going on in the mansion, there wasn't a way around it.
She might choose to leave when I told her.
I was going to have to let her go if she did.
I still didn't fucking know how I was going to take anyone else as a mate if she refused to seal the bond. Particularly because I wouldn't be able to visit their dreams before I did so. My connection with Merrily prevented that.
Damning myself to an immortal lifetime of mediocre sex with someone I didn't want the way I craved my fae queen sounded like the definition of hell. A hell I just might have to embrace.
Letting myself die wasn't an option. Not while my family was still trapped in the fucking Shadowside Penitentiary.
The smell of pancakes lured Merrily into the kitchen as soon as the second one made it onto the stack I'd started for her.
"Chocolate chip pancakes?" Her narrow-eyed gaze lingered on the plate I carried over to her before sliding it across the island. She sucked in a breath when the porcelain almost touched her.
She must've been more sensitive than she wanted to admit, even with my shadows.
"With homemade syrup." I poured some of it over the pancakes, so she wouldn't have to touch the handle. "How's that?"
"Perfect." She said the word grudgingly, picking up a fork with a threatening glance at it, like she was warning it not to piss her magic off.
My shadows danced lightly around her body, over a soft, cream-colored tank top that couldn't hide the points of her nipples, and matching wide-legged pants. The sight of my magic around her satisfied me more than it probably should've.
"You cook?" she asked.
"I do. You don't?"
"No. I get overwhelmed too easily. It's difficult enough just to eat."
Because of her magic.
"Does Darius cook for you?" I asked, trying not to sound anywhere near as jealous as I was.
The look she flashed me was entirely unamused and stated very clearly that she understood why I was asking. "Do your best friends ever cook for you?"
"You're aware that most of them are in the penitentiary, so not typically."
"What about your Wraith?"
Was that jealousy on her end?
Fuck, I hoped so.
"Rae is basically my sister. She’s even got the family tattoo, though she had it altered a little to flow better with the floral ink she likes."
Merrily’s forehead creased. "Family tattoo?"
"In demon culture, friends and family usually get the same tattoos around the time they reach adulthood. They’re tribal-style, over their shoulder. A mated demon would typically have their significant other's ink on the other shoulder." I gestured to my bare shoulder.
"You have a magical collar around your throat instead of a mate tattoo," she said without gesturing toward me. "The marking will darken if we ever decide to seal the bond. I don't have any say over the location, sorry."
"I have no problem with being chained to you this way." I turned back to the breakfast I was making.
"Did Callum give you a list of my favorite foods, too? Someone must've told you that I like chocolate chip pancakes."
"No, he didn't. Your family talks loudly. They mentioned dragging you to that diner near the Cabinet’s building after a meeting a couple months ago."
The look she flashed me was one of surprise. "You listened that closely?"
"Of course I did. I was obsessed with you." I poured batter into the pan. "We need to talk."
"Because that went so well for us yesterday?"