Chapter 6 #2
"I'm a lot. Callum's a lot. Liv's a lot. You handle all of us just fine. With magic like yours, everything is a lot. You're just scared, Merrily. Don't call it anything else. It's fear."
"Of course I'm scared. He's chaos, and I'm... not."
"You're whatever you decide to be. And you can handle chaos. Like I said, you handle the rest of us just fine."
"I don't know."
"What's the alternative? Suffering for the rest of your life?"
"He's going to mate with someone else." My nostrils flared.
"A dragon shifter. I don't even know if they're male or female.
What if he prefers men? What if he hates that I'm the only person he's been able to visit for a century?
What if I'm too vanilla, or he's kinkier than I know?
He hasn't even brought up his true form.
What if he doesn't want to share that side of him?
What if he wants me to change? What if—"
"Stop. Breathe."
I sucked in a long, deep breath.
"The shadows around you are thinning," he said.
I looked down. He was right.
My stomach clenched fiercely. "He must be fighting someone. What if he gets hurt? He said the other royals have been trying to kill him. Eventually, someone's going to succeed, right? They—"
“Mer, Grayson could kill me if he wanted to, and I’m one of the most powerful immortals in the city. God knows I don't have enough survival instincts left to take down someone who genuinely wants to live. He'll be fine."
"The coffee shop will fix that for you," I said shakily.
"Lie to me all you want, Mer. We both know the truth. I've only got another handful of years left in me before the rest of you are going to have to put me out of my misery."
"Don't say that."
Darius said bluntly. "Grayson isn't going to lose."
"He didn't even have breakfast."
"I'm sure he fed on you last night."
My face flushed something fierce. "Yeah."
"Then he's fine." Darius took a casual sip of his coffee. "Have you seen the Wraith again yet?"
"No. But he calls her Rae. Apparently, she's basically his sister. They haven't fucked. I asked."
"You should talk her into making a bargain with me." Darius sipped his coffee again. He was trying so hard not to show that he was interested in her, it was almost funny.
"You're that fascinated with her?"
"Maybe. Sometimes."
"If you're still thinking about her, you are."
He made a noncommittal noise.
"I don't know what it would take for Rae to make a bargain with you, but I'll try to figure it out if I go back to him."
"You're going back."
"That hasn't been decided."
"What are you going to do if he mates with a dragon shifter?"
"Nothing," I lied.
Darius snorted. "We both know you'd kill the dragon."
"Well, he's mine."
"If you want him to be yours, you have to deal with whatever bullshit comes with it. I'd seal a bond with him in a heartbeat if he was mine, so..."
"Stop there or I'll fucking kill you," I said flatly.
Darius grinned. "I know. He's yours. You could gush about it at your next girls' night, but you'll probably bring him."
"Men are not invited to girls' night."
"Men who are willing to talk about emotions are. Niall's told me all about those things."
"You and Niall are way too close."
"Niall and I are real bros." Darius lifted a fist. "You didn't tell Liv that we stayed in contact while they were apart, right?"
"Of course not. I don't have a death wish. Some secrets aren't made for sharing."
"Eh, he's probably told her by now."
"He probably has. And you know you can go to girls' night too, right?"
"I'm aware."
"It might be good for you to actually talk about your feelings for once."
He made a face. "If you want me to survive a couple more years, the last thing I need is to acknowledge any emotions that might exist."
"You could show up just to talk about everyone else's."
"I'm going to pass."
"Just think about it. Maybe we'll give you some more ideas for your plan to worm your way into your mate's life."
"My plan is plenty detailed. I've had a lot of time to think about it. Too much time, actually. Way, way too much time."
"I don't know how I haven't heard it yet."
"Because usually, you don't catch me right after a hookup."
"Fair. Go on. Tell me the plan." I waved him on.
He set his hands on the table and cleared his throat, making me roll my eyes.
We tossed ideas and jokes back and forth as he went over his extremely detailed and unrealistic plan. We both knew it was never going to happen the way he was hoping, but I did understand the point he was making about forcing his way into his mate's life instead of trying to drag her into his.
It wasn't a bad idea, even if it wasn't something I'd ever go through with myself.
When the conversation ended, we played the silly little farming game that I could only handle when my magic was at peak easiness, until late into the night.
At some point during the day, I was forced to accept that I couldn't realistically handle life without any of Grayson's shadows anymore.
Which meant I'd have to go back to him.
So, I started making a plan.