Chapter 5
five
. . .
Eden
Taking a deep breath, I savor the scent of fresh pine, apple pie, and crackling fire.
This is my favorite time of year and not just because it’s also my birthday.
There is a magical aura, like a blanket, that wraps you up and carries you off into the wonder of the season.
Lights twinkle on the tree while carols softly play in the background. Everything is perfect.
“Here you go, sweetie,” Mom says, handing me my Christmas gift.
It’s wrapped perfectly like always, with a little bow and a candy cane on top.
Mom goes above and beyond making all the gifts look pretty, but she likes to make an extra fuss over mine.
She says that it’s not fair my birthday falls on Christmas Day, despite me being their little miracle.
Smiling, I tear the paper from the box that’s no bigger than the palm of my hand.
“Hope you love it, honey,” Dad says as I crack the black velvet lid.
Inside, nestled in satin, is a silver chain with the most stunning turtle pendant. Gasping, I reach in and slowly lift the delicate necklace.
“Oh my god, it’s beautiful.”
The words no sooner leave my lips when something red lands on the turtle. I stare at the pendant. More drops form and fall as my eyes dart up to my parents. What the hell?
The necklace drops to the floor. My mother is slumped forward on the couch, her hair masking her face, and not moving. Dad is in his leather chair, head down, eyes open, a giant piece of metal jutting from his chest.
“No. No. No.”
Jumping up, I run to my mom.
“Wake up. You need to wake up.”
No matter how hard I shake her, she doesn’t respond. Racing to my Dad, I touch his neck. He’s cold as ice, no pulse, and still.
“This can’t be happening. Wake up!”
Jerking awake, I bite my lip and cry out as the stabbing pain shoots through my side and down my body. I’m drenched in sweat, and my heart is an out-of-control train hurtling along the tracks. I glance around the dimly lit room, trying to remember what happened. Reality is a cold mistress.
Everything comes back at once. The crash, their deaths, the hospital. A horror movie that never wants to end. Something warm runs down my cheek and even though I’m certain it’s tears, I still reach up to make sure it’s not blood.
Wincing through the ache permeating every square inch of my body, I throw the blanket off and drop my feet over the side of the bed.
It’s agonizing. My body is attacking me.
My mind is tortured. And my soul…will never repair.
Time will pass, and I’m sure at some point I’ll find a new normal, but part of me is still in that car with my parents and always will be.
I force myself to stand and glare at the air cast like it’s the problem. Felix must have come back up when I was asleep because my stupid crutch is leaning against the wall. I’m apparently a terrible patient because all of this just makes me angry.
Grabbing the supremely uncomfortable walking aide, I limp out of my bedroom. I know it’s there to help. As annoyed as I am, I’m also not an idiot. I can’t help but glance toward my parents’ master bedroom. The hallway is dark like a black void. Very appropriate.
A flicker of light from the television downstairs gets my attention. I grip the railing and make the difficult trek down. Each step is as much a loss as it is a victory. A painful reminder that I’m still here but my parents are gone.
Reaching the bottom, I see Felix sitting on the couch. I don’t recognize the movie playing, but it casts an eerie glow in the otherwise dark room.
I shuffle closer and realize that he has my phone in his hand. I’d know that green-and-turquoise turtle case anywhere.
“Hey.”
He looks up from the screen and smiles as he stands.
“Hey, you’re awake,” he says, stepping closer. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
I shake my head and point at the phone.
“What are you doing?”
He glances at his hand.
“Oh, I got your phone charged and was just letting your friends know what happened and that you’re okay. I also got you set up with your physio. You start tomorrow at a place only ten minutes from here. They have the best rating close by.”
I blink.
“You…you’re texting my friends?”
He nods and holds my phone out to me.
“Yeah. I figured you’d want them to know you’re alright. Once it had battery again, it started dinging nonstop. Did you want them to call the cops or something?”
“Don’t you think they’ll find it weird you’re texting when they don’t know you?”
Taking my elbow, he guides me over to the couch.
“Don’t worry, I messaged as if I were you. I made some chicken pasta if you want some.”
I look at the message to Kyle.
Eden: Hey, Kyle. I just want to let you know my parents and I were in an accident. I’m home and will be okay, but my parents were killed. I can’t talk right now, too upset. Will call soon.
Kyle: OMG, Eden, I’m so sorry. Do you want me to come over? To call? Do you need anything? Does Kris know?
Eden: No, but I’ll be okay…I think. Can you tell Kris and make sure she doesn’t storm over here?
Kyle: Yes, of course. Shit, are you sure you don’t want me there?
Eden: I’m sure. I just want to be alone. Talk soon.
I look at a few others. I don’t have many friends, but he has managed to make the texts sound like me.
“Eden, are you sure you’re okay? You’re…quiet.”
My eyes find his.
“I can’t believe you did this. Or that you called my PT. That…that wasn’t your call to make.”
His smile falls. “Oh…I’m…shit…I’m sorry, Eden. I just wanted to help, make some of this hard stuff a little easier. I wish someone had done this kind of thing for me when my mum died. I just thought…”
Rejection and sadness cross his face. My gut twists. Felix starts to turn away from me, but I grab his hand.
“It’s okay. I’m not angry. It’s just that we hardly know one another.”
Felix locks eyes with me and my pulse spikes. It’s as if he is gripping me by the throat and cutting off my air supply.
“I won’t do it again. What do you want to know about me? I want you to feel safe.”
Felix takes my hand, sets my phone aside, and entwines our fingers.
“Um…I guess for starters, what is your last name?”
“Blackwood.”
That name sounds a little familiar, but I can’t place it, and Felix doesn’t elaborate.
“How old are you?”
The corner of his mouth tilts up and my heart flutters.
“Twenty-one.”
“You said you’re a tattoo artist, right?” He nods. “Are you also a chef?”
I sniff the air and can now distinctly smell the food he mentioned.
Felix laughs, and I find the sound soothing and decadent like a rich molten chocolate cake.
“No, sadly, I only know how to make six things.”
He settles back into the couch.
“Do you do any other art, like for galleries?”
“No, nothing like that. But I do make sure people see my art.”
I’m not sure what that means.
Felix distracts me when he pulls up his shirt sleeve. An incredibly realistic skull is tattooed on his arm. It’s beautiful and intricate. The flower is a nice touch, and the tribal markings make it really stand out. He points to the space in the middle.
“I drew and tattooed these myself. Not sure what I’ll put here yet. I’ve been waiting for my muse,” he says, tracing the unmarked skin.
“It’s stunning. I can’t even draw a stick man.”
The weird nervousness from when I first walked down the stairs and saw him is all gone. He is so easy to be around.
“Let me fix you a plate. I know you’re not really hungry, but you need to keep up your strength.”
“Okay, but not too much.”
With a nod, Felix stands but doesn’t leave.
“Eden…I really am sorry if I overstepped. I just want to help. It makes me feel useful, especially now,” he says, and then he walks away.
Well, now don’t I feel like the paranoid asshole.
Sighing, I pick up my cell and read the rest of the messages he sent.
I spot the calendar addition for a ten a.m. appointment.
Re-locking the phone, I set it aside just as Felix walks back into the living room.
With a dramatic flair that makes me smile, he hands me a plate.
It looks incredible and smells even better with the homemade tomato sauce.
I freeze.
“Where did you get the sauce?”
“The freezer. It was in a jar. I took the one with the oldest date.”
My lower lip shakes. There were ten bottles of sauce in the freezer from the last batch my mom made, but now…there are only nine.
“Please don’t use those again,” I say, pain lancing my heart even though I know it wasn’t Felix’s fault.
“Oh…okay. I just thought…”
“I know what you thought.” I glance at him as a tear rolls free. “Just please don’t use those again,” I say, like Felix cooking me dinner is the norm.
“Alright. Um…do you want to watch a movie?”
“Sure, whatever you want…just not anything Christmassy.”
“Done.”
Felix chats as he flips through the channels, but all I can do is stare at the bare tree in the corner. Not a single colorful light or decoration to be seen, as if the tree knows that no one other than me will sit here and appreciate it ever again.