Chapter 31
31
KILLIAN
S he must have restored the factory settings on her phone and laptop because none of my trackers reveal where she is. When I find her dorm room empty, I start to wonder if she’s withdrawn from school and left Foxgrove.
By now, I’ve figured out she may have overheard Jamie and I talking about the operation to get her to fall in love with me. Strange that one of us didn’t notice her approach. Then I remember my phone’s open control center. Online, there was something an association with ear bud usage.
When I do a deep dive, I find the phone can become a transmitter for linked ear buds. For fuck’s sake! I slam my phone down and crack its screen.
This was not supposed to happen. I fucking had her. This was our new start.
Scowling, I run an impatient hand through my hair. No. I don’t care. It’s not over. She can’t really expect it to be.
After an hour of repeatedly scrolling through her friends’ photogram accounts, I see Raine tagged in a picture posted from the student union where she and Owen Malenus and a couple of random film people are having lunch. So, she hasn’t pulled out of school. Good. That would’ve made things harder.
By the time I get to the union, she’s gone. I hang out there because I’ve got a better chance of randomly spotting her if I’m on campus. As I stalk all the photogram accounts where I know she might be pictured, I drink coffee and brood.
Even if I’d lied about being in love with her, she knows I’d never let her completely disappear. She must understand her escape is temporary. So, maybe on some level this is a game. To punish me for trying to trick her. Which I accept. I deserve it for being so fucking sloppy.
I skip my computer engineering lab and an exam so I can hack the student housing database. It takes all day. Fucking Ralston and his encryption. I end up having to plant a camera in the admin building so I can steal a password. My whole day is filled with insane fucking behavior.
In the end, I’m rewarded for it.
Raine is living in the Central women’s dorm. Room 414.
It has taken me seventeen hours to find her, which is the longest period of time I’ve ever had to search. I’m impressed with how fast she moved out of Meredith. She’s smart enough to know if she’d stayed, I’d have pulled her out her window as soon as it was dark enough for me to do it.
Back at the Crue house, I crawl into bed just after dawn. Now that I know where she is, I’ll crash. When I wake up, I’ll stake out her new dorm and catch her coming or going. I won’t try to take her at first. What I’ll do initially is talk. Sometimes, Raine’s susceptible to conversation, so it’s worth a shot.
If she won’t listen, well, there’s always the fallback plan.
As I fall asleep, I enter the best dream I’ve had in a while.
In it, I watch myself kidnap her.
RAIN E
When I wake in the morning I’m able to see things more clearly. Yesterday, Killian’s lies were all I could think about. Today, I face the fact that I didn’t just leave Killian. I left the house where some random Mafia bosses said I’d better stay. If they find out, will they send someone to kill me?
For several minutes, I lie huddled in my bed. Finally, my fear morphs into anger. What am I supposed to do? Live with him for the rest of my life? Pretending to submit to their will? I just can’t live like that. I don’t even know them.
Another thought occurs to me. I never saw these phantom bosses or heard what they said. And Killian didn’t say they’d hurt me if I left, only that they wanted me to stay with him. Maybe it wasn’t their directive at all. Maybe that was part of his plan to get me under his control. And doesn’t that make more sense? Why would organized crime lords want me to live in a house with the guys who work for them? That would put them at risk of my discovering more incriminating evidence.
I won’t do anything to provoke his partners or bosses. No confiding details to anyone, not even Liam. But I am going to get on with my life. Because if I don’t, I’ll lose my mind.
A couple of hours later, I’m on my way to Boston with Marianne and my dad. I even manage to smile at their banter.
Leaving GU is a relief, and hanging out with them distracts me from my Killian problem. He hasn’t texted in a while, but nothing with Killian is ever easy, especially right after a fight. He’ll push to test my resolve. I have to be ready for that. I have to be strong. My resistance has to seem bulletproof. Any weakness will be seen as an opening.
During the drive, we have a long discussion about Owen Malenus’s films to date. Marianne wants to know how I like working with him. I skirt around the topic, explaining all the things I’m learning.
My dad says he got a notification about an increase in tuition because I’ve moved into a more expensive dorm and wants to know why I moved. I say it’s more conveniently located and that we want to gather some footage from that dorm since one of the movie’s main characters lives there. He accepts my explanation. At least outwardly.
We stop for dinner and don’t get back to the house until almost ten at night. I’m mentally exhausted, so I go directly to bed .
In the morning, I shower and dress the part of a confident up-and-coming indie filmmaker. My print jersey dress in French navy is covered in tulip buds and I pair it with camel-colored boots that match the designer wool coat that was a Christmas present last year from my stepbrothers—sans Killian, I’m sure. The coat is comfortable and lovely, and the weather’s just turned cool enough for me to wear it. Focusing on my outfit is a good distraction from my emotions, but it’s not the only reason I’m doing it. My fit check is good. I don’t look like a hoodie-wearing high school kid in this. I hope it’ll encourage Liam to take me and what I have to say about his brother seriously.
I drive my dad’s car to Liam’s Quincy mansion. When I ring the bell, his pretty wife Olivia answers. She’s only a couple years older than Killian and me, and she’s pregnant for the second time and newly married to Liam. They seem to have a picture-perfect life.
“Raine, hi, come in,” she says, mashing all her words together as she clasps me in a hug. “We just finished breakfast, but there’s plenty left over. Liam made corned beef hash with fried eggs. It’s really good.”
“Maybe just a coffee?”
“Of course.” She has a beautiful smile and features that have softened as the pregnancy gets farther along.
Liv’s radiance eases my anxiety over coming to see Liam. When we enter the kitchen, my eldest stepbrother is sitting in a chair with their toddler standing on his thigh, listening as his son babbles. Currently, the entire family is blond, and I wonder if the new baby will be, too.
When he sees me, Liam puts the little boy back into his highchair and sets a wedge of mango in front of him. Brady immediately starts to chew on it, causing fruit juice to squelch out and run over his little hands. He’s adorable.
Like Killian and all the Callahan men, Liam’s very tall, very muscular, and very handsome. Liam’s light blond hair and light blue eyes, however, make him look as though the Irish Callahan ancestors intermarried with Scandinavian Vikings.
Liv makes me a latte with heart-shaped foam and a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar on top. It’s like waking up in a Hallmark Christmas movie. Unless of course, you take into account that the giant house with its stunning ocean views was built from blood money .
Liam waves for me to come with him. Along the way, he stops to hang my coat in the main closet across from the door. I glance at the foyer where a woman died two years ago. Yeah, definitely not Hallmark.
Liam is silent as he leads me to the stairs.
I follow him up to his study and sit when he gestures to a leather chair near the window. Holding my warm coffee mug between my freezing hands, I wait for him to close the door and sit down.
I swallow, take a sip of coffee and swallow again. Liam lowers himself into his desk chair and leans forward, resting his muscled forearms on his thighs. Then, he waits, and a lump the size of Brady’s mango forms in my throat.
“So what I wanted to talk about… it’s about Killian. Is that okay?”
He nods.
“There was a misunderstanding. He told me to come to his place and I went. But at the time, he and his roommates didn’t really want anyone over. I didn’t see anything,” I add hastily. “But they were concerned. And their bosses were, I guess.” I run a hand through my hair and glance out the window at the ocean. “Killian hasn’t left me alone since. It’s been an excuse for him to do something that’s pretty hurtful.”
The corners of Liam’s mouth turn down, but he says nothing. I don’t know whether he’s angry at me or Killian or both.
“Even if I’d seen something incriminating—which I didn’t—I couldn’t let myself be held prisoner forever… Especially when he’s capable of doing terrible things to me.” I take several long swallows of my coffee and then lick my lips. “I know he’s your brother. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be put in the middle, but I was hoping you might intervene. You’re really the only person I can imagine him listening to. Except I guess for his new bosses, but I don’t know them. And I don’t think they’d be willing to tell him to stop what he’s doing.”
“What is he doing?” Liam asks.
“Insisting I live with him. Never letting me go to campus on my own. Limiting where I go without him.”
“You’re here now. Where is he? ”
“I snuck out. I’ve been hiding from him for the past two days. But he’ll find me soon. He always does.”
“What do you mean by always?” His eyes narrow. It’s infinitesimal, but I see it. “How long ago did this start?”
Heat blazes in my cheeks. “Sorry, I… didn’t plan to bring up the past. This situation started about a week ago.”
“Hmm.” Liam sits back with his gaze steady on my face.
“So, would you be willing to talk to him?”
“What’s your relationship with him? I don’t mean the fact that you’re his stepsister. I mean have you ever dated him or done some equivalent of that?”
“Not in the normal sense.” My gaze leaves his and stares at his desk, absently taking in the computer, the silver letter opener with a Celtic knot handle, and a stack of papers. After drinking the last of my coffee, I perch the cup on the window sill.
When I look back at Liam, his expression is exactly the same as it has been. Unreadable.
“Killian’s relentless, so he’s worn me down sometimes,” I whisper. “You don’t know what he can be like. No one does. Because he’s only this way with me.”
“You haven’t encouraged him? You don’t flirt with him?”
“No.” My fingers rub the side of my neck. “I try to avoid him.”
“But you went to his place? That’s how you saw something you weren’t supposed to see?”
“He ordered me to come, so I did. Saying no… never really works.”
Liam’s eyes narrow. “Are you saying he’s been forcing you to have sex with him?”
“No.” I take a sip of air, my heart hammering in my chest. I’ve clearly miscalculated his response. “It’s okay.” I shoot to my feet, shaking my head. “Forget I ever came to talk to you. It was a mistake.”
As I start toward the door, Liam clears his throat and says, “Stop. Sit back down.”
My fingers trace the grooves in the brass knob. “Can we just pretend I never came?”
Liam stands and gestures for me to return to my seat. I bite my lip and shake my head. Tears of frustration burn the surface of my eyes. By coming here, I may have made things worse. If Liam tells Killian, or even implies, I accused him of sexual assault, the lengths he might go to to retaliate are terrifying. Would my dad be safe? Would I?
Killian promised not to target the people in my life, but I’m sure that was a lie in service of his mission of getting me to fall in love with him. There’s no way I can trust anything Killian said during that time.
My fists ball at my sides. “I can see this isn’t the way for me to handle things, Liam. I’ll transfer to a school on the West Coast. There’s a chance he’ll stay here for his job, instead of moving.”
“I thought you have a golden opportunity to work with your favorite director?”
My gaze flicks to his face. “Marianne told you?”
“Yeah, she told everyone. She’s proud of you.”
I swallow, trying to blink back my tears. “Your mom’s the best. She’s been wonderful to me.”
“Sit back down, Raine,” Liam says, moving so he’s between me and the door as he ushers me toward the chair.
“Okay. Give me a sec.” I walk to the window and stare out, trying to be as subtle as possible as I dab my eyes. “Sorry.” Finally, I’m composed and turn and sit. My hands grip my knees tightly.
“Killian’s obsession with you has been going on such a long time, I stopped seeing it as a cause for concern.”
My brows rise as I lean forward. “You knew?”
“Of course. He’s not subtle about it.”
Glancing down, I stare at my thumbs, which press into the grooves under my kneecaps.
“Aiden and I assumed you liked the attention. Well, until this past year, when you seemed to be moving on.”
So people had noticed… at least the part that played out publicly. I smooth down the hem of my dress and fold my hands in my lap. “I care about Killian. He cares about me, too. In his own way.”
“But it sounds like things have gotten out of hand?” Liam nods. “Men can become ruthless when they’re pursuing a woman they can’t stand to lose. Especially if she’s ever given them a reason to think she likes it.”
I press my lips between my teeth and listen to my heartbeat in my ears. Did I ever give Killian the impression I wanted him to stalk me? I don’t think so. Sure, maybe he sensed I had a crush on him, way back at the beginning. But the rest of what happened was tainted with coercion. He was already in my room and even in my bed, when I let him convince me to touch him. Pressure from Killian… after a while, it’s impossible to resist. But giving in isn’t the same as inviting.
I’ve been different recently because I believed he’d changed. He conned me, and I fell for it. Again, my behavior can’t be considered voluntary. Once again, he coerced me into it. This time by pretending to be a version of himself that he’s not.
“I wouldn’t tease a lion, Liam,” I say softly but firmly. “Not even if he was behind glass or across a river. Because a lion might decide to prove he can get through glass or across a river. And he might kill you. Even if he only meant to play with you. Anything that powerful is dangerous.” Exhaling softly, I shake my head. Then, I repeat, “I wouldn’t tease a lion. It’s not safe to play with one.”
“So, he’s doing things that scare you. Have you asked him to stop?”
A small, sad smile forms, and I glance out the window.
“Ah. Of course you have.” His voice is resigned as his thumb slides over the edge of his desk. “You’re a smart girl. And a careful one. You wouldn’t be here unless you felt you were out of options.”
“I can transfer. He has work ties now. He might not follow me. At least not physically.” Rising, I shrug. “Sorry for coming here. I swear the last thing I’d ever want to do is come between Killian and the people who care about him.”
Liam stands and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t start the transfer process yet. Let me talk to him first. He owes me, so he’ll at least hear me out.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“And try not to worry. Killian’s a very smart kid, and his goal isn’t to drive you away. If he realizes that’s what he’s doing, I’m sure he’ll rein himself in.”
I was feeling hopeful right up until his last sentence.
When Liam says he believes Killian will restrain himself, I’m reminded there are only two people in the world who really understand Killian.
Killian himself and me.